>be me >very young maybe 7 or 8 >love grandma and going to her house very much >Play with house plants, get in trouble for flinging dirt around. nobigdeal.jpg. >Have brother about 8 years older than me. >Over team he grows increasingly less friendly with grandparents, very short and uninterested. >Grandma is amazing to me. Takes me to mall as small child. Buys me harry potter game. >I focus on game instantly just as granpa predicted. >One day grandma talks to me. >Anon please don't be like you brother when you get older. >Please don't change. >I promise i won't Grandma. >Go over there less and less. >Eventually Grandma's condition starts to deteriorate. >At one point I remember her still being much more coherent and pleasant than my uncle. >The next she's practicly a vegtable. >Can't remember hardly anything. >Barely a person any more. >MFW I never kept my promise. >MFW I realized I fucked up what was probably one of the only things she wanted in this world. >MFW I loved her and I don't I ever got to communicate that to her correctly.
I'm sorry Grandma, you have passed now and even though i failed I swear I always meant t keep the promise. Please forgive me.
I got rushed to the hospital a few weeks ago due to a borderline psychosis. I was breathing really weird and i thought i was gonna die. After the most psychologically painfull 18 hours of my life, i got loaded on xanies and passed out.
Its been about 3-4 weeks (too lazy to recount) and i still dont feel the same. Im a little better, and medication (seraquil xr) and getting out of the house (my friends havent really known about this, but ive been doing what i can to be with them. We even have plans to play dnd pretty soon). But i still feel fucked up. Im concious of nearly every breath i take, and i feel anxious all the time.
>>564451860 Thats pretty sad Im going to hate losing my grandma As for my Grandpa He had to go to the hospital My family visted him alot He died after surgery and the day before I told my family I'd go next time When I went there after the bad news I thought "this is serious shit" I'v seen shit on the internet and never been phased But when I saw my grandpa lifeless I just broke down Its a weird experience
>Be me > A few years back, a young gent in the military >Going on an exercise that is done yearly at the same location in bumfuck no where. >Fiance sneaks a very nice little message in my bag while I am not looking. >Feelsgood.jpg >Sends me a message the first night I arrive that is very sweet. >2 weeks go by without hearing another word from her. >Really worried but not sure what to do. >Come back home and call her 15 times with no reply. >Goes to her apartment. >She isn't there and it seems like her apartment has been cleaned out. >Find the owner of the building. > Owner explains to me she had died in a car accident and her family picked up all her belongings. >Try to contact family but to no avail. >Keep living on but barely. >Been going to the same exercise every year, sleeping on the same cot, and thinking the same things. > I wish I could end it but I know that if I did she would be pretty pissed off. >Scared because when I have to PCS, I will can't go on the exercise that made me miss her last day. >This is my last year.
my grandmother was often around the house after my grandfahter died... she often slept in my room when I was younger...
one summer night I lost my virginity while camping with some friends at the age of 14, when I got home my grandmother was there and we watched Rambo together (it wasnt the first part, I think it was part 3... you know, the one where he is in afghanistan and has this blue light, not sure which part it is but it was definately in the desert and not the jungle thing) and when the movie ended I went to bed... next day I woke up my father came to me and told me my grandmother died in the early morning
mfw the morning before my grandmother died I watched Rambo with her after right the day after I lost my virginity
>>564455880 I know i will. And ill be a better person for the exerience. I just hate this, and the fact other people are out at parties or with friends having a good time. Ill get better. All this is my own anxieties, albeit fucking with me in a pretty bad way. All i need (as far as i know right now) is an increase in my medication, to feel not alone, and to relax
>>564451860 my grandfather invented (among other things) the screw vending machine and had a workshop full of prototypes that a youngin like myself thought was amazing .. he always took time to explain how things worked, let us tinker, etc.
think of it everytime I get chips out of one of those machines.
Hey /b/ro why don't you just man up and spend some time with your mates? When I feel down I call up a few of my friends and we do shit together. I even have a few lady friends that I hang with more than the boys andd it feels great. MAKE IT HAPPEN ANON
>>564455716 I know how you feel to be anxious anon.. I too have really bad anxiety and am conscious of every breath.. Realize this though anon, anxiety/ depression are known as almost gifts in other cultures. Once you are known to have anxiety or depression, you are to be trained in the way of the shaman, since some believe that you have better connections to the spiritual world or the divine. I personally found this to be true, When I developed my severe anxiety about a year ago now. When I first got my anxiety I didn't realize it was anxiety at first, and became more and more separated from my body. Stay strong anon. I'm with you in spirit.
>be me two years ago >be in a relationship, after years of waiting >getting a lot involved with her >my parents love her, her parents love me >I'm always there for everyone (I sometimes helped his father with electrical works in their house and other things) >her little sister loves me a lot >I always play with her, she's like the sister I never had >also other sisters love me, we always play games and do things like a family >fast forward three months ago >my gf starts to get involved by another man >he's one of my best friends >I and her got in a fight because of that and we don't speak eachother for three weeks >try to speak to her again and to fix things with her 'cause we're both adults and we shouldn't do like that >she leaves me 'cause she don't love me no more >happens a huge mess with friends after we broke up >she became snob and childish and she starts to ignore and throw shit at me and any of our friends >fast forward to july. >That motherfucker is now with her >she's in love with him >they've been even more snob and childish with us >she's still throwing shit at me for no reason >they still ignore me and friends like we did something to them
I miss her old self and her family. I'm so glad her family hates him a lot
>>564457621 Thats what ive been doing. Venting on an anonymous message board dosent mean im not trying. I have a family history of all kinds of mental illness, so this shits out of my control.
>>564457115 As much as i hate being on medication, i have no choice but to be cautious. I requested not to be on any benzos, because i hate the feeling of being on something (especially any kind of depressants)
>>564458187 Hmmm.. I guess I can try my best.. So my anxiety really started last year at the beginning of college after I had a bunch to drink one previous night and had a horrible hangover the next day, after which didn't seem to end as a came down with a horrible stomach flu, and I couldn't eat for what had seemed for 2 weeks.. I suddenly started to have constant worry of things.. Usually stupid things like my breathing suddenly coming to a stop, feeling like I had no direction, never feeling like I'll ever find love.. Kinda dumb things.. I felt so trapped in my thoughts and would occasionally have small panic attacks... These panic attacks consisted of feeling like time was flying by, what felt like an hour to me would be 4 or 5 hours and I felt like I wasnt even in my own body, in somewhat of a 3rd person kind of feeling.. I felt like I was losing grip on reality
>>564458938 My anxiety never really did stop and I had to end up leaving college all together and somehow managed to get through the semester... I am on medication now, and I feel as though life is never going to be what it once was.. I feel reborn now, in some positive ways and some negative ways.. I am still confused at to why this happened at all, and seemed really random for this to happen.. it is still something I am trying to figure out to this day
>>564459239 Just to clarify, My medication (lexapro 10mg) has helped and I have been clear of my anxiety for months, however I do have depression that comes around every now and again. However, I still feel like life is different, Like I have a whole new perspective, a whole new insight
The reality of mortality is difficult to accept. I think that is what you have been experiencing. As fucked up as it is. Part of me believes that our inability to accept our mortality is what makes life worth living. Don't give up. Just be you....
>Be 12 >Live with family and uncle >He was cool and stuff >He once stayed at the family bedroom >Always by my side >One day, he promised he will give his laptop to me when he dies >He already expects he's gonna fucking die >One night, i tried sleeping at the floor because of the inflatable bed >Never seen one before so i was excited >Uncle asked why I left him >Answered "I wanna try sleeping in this" >He got angry >Goes back to his own room, playing Bejeweled Blitz >Asked for forgiveness, declined >Skip fast a few days >He was diagnosed with typhoid and pneumonia >Skip another 4 days >He plays his last game of Bejeweled Blitz >He reaches his goal, 500k points >He suddenly had a cardiac arrest >Few hours later, he died. >Died at the age of 33 >Fucking depressed for a month >I remembered his promise >It was a Lenovo Laptop >Still use it until today He was a fucking badass uncle and I swear he died happily in his body.
>>564459071 No problem. As for me a better way to e intouch spiritually can come from many things.. Coming from my opinion, it is detriment to exercise and get out at least once every day if not twice, trust me even walking around helps a little too and can help get your mind off stuff. Also, try to have a good diet, and not just packaged shit all the time, and really read up on what you can do to eat healthier as best you can.. Now, people always say to stay in touch spiritually is to meditate and im not going to lie to you, to meditate can come hard to people, as it does to me... Now, meditation doesnt have to just be sitting down and focus on breathing.. For me I do grounding meditation a s to help me feel like I am actually in my body.. Meditation can also be like a walk in the park, in order to just let go of everything, this is the key to meditation.. It takes a lot of research anon and i'm truly glad that in this day and age i'm able to find all of this information on the internet instead of having to take classes, go to the library etc
>>564461216 All it takes is for you to keep looking, to keep finding new information.. Don't stop trying and never give up.. Instead of being ashamed or feeling uncomfortable with what you have anon, embrace it. With spirituality you will learn to not fear but to essentially go with the flow of things and accept things. Keep going my friend, and it was my pleasure
I think I have a similar story. When I first got into college, I started to get really depressed, I couldn't make any friends, I didn't like the stuff I had to learn and I couldn't do shit about it. So I started drinking quite a lot, I got really depressed and thought that I'll always stay this low and that nothing will ever get better for me. Eventually I started hanging out with a guy from my uni, who was in the same situation, we started talking about our problem and spent quite a lot of time together. One day we smoked some pot, it got me really hard, so I went to bed shortly after. I had something like an epiphany, I realized that I had to change something in order to be happy again.(Also, I forgot to mention that I went to Germany to study something I didn't even like). So I dropped out of college, went back home and started studying something else. Now I'm really happy about it, and I don't regret anything,considering the condition in which I was one and a half years ago. I think that if you manage to deal with depression and get over your problem,eventually make a big change, you'll be able to look much deeper within yourself and see things from another angle. There's always a solution to a problem, just don't give up.
I'm awake at three in the morning right now. Not because I have anything important to stay up late doing but because I don't want tomorrow to happen. By not going to sleep I delay the next day for as long as I can. There isn't anything particularly bad happening tomorrow I just can't be bothered anymore.
Pic kinda related because no one knows I feel this way
haven't posted on here in ages, but i guess there's no time like the present so I'll share my own story
>be 14 >living in a really nice upper-middle class neighbourhood in manchester >live a fairly normal life >dad had a job, mom stayed home, me and my sister went to school obviously >i had a few friends who i loved to death >but i never had the relationship with them that i had with my sister >she was 16 when I was 14 >we played Pokemon together all the time; ruby and sapphire to be exact >we bickered and fought too, but what pair of siblings doesnt? >first year of high school comes around >she's already a third year >be nervous as hell going into it >sister helped me through my first week and made me feel welcome >never got bullied because of her >lifeisprettygood.jpg
fast forward to a year later
>im 15, shes 17 by that time >in my second year now, she's starting her last year in school >already picking out colleges >said she wanted to go to some big college in america >i tell her i support her decisions, but i really didn't want her to go >kinda shrug it off after a while >one day we're playing pokemon, and she just decides to trade me her level 100 blaziken >"why would you do that?" >"so you have something to remember me by, stupid!" >thought that was kinda nice of her, even though she'd be seeing me over holidays
>or so i thought
will post the rest of the story if anyone wants it
>>564464323 That's how I started feeling when she broke with me. I lost faith in a lot of things and I started to be frightened about everyting and always wanted to delay everything. I still do it right now, I'm dropping university and a lot of other things because of that. Also there was a period of time after she left that I lost a lot of good friends. Now I'm having them back, they understood she was bitching with everyone and they're giving me some strength. But still it's not that much to start again my life
>14 >6/10 classmate who likes UFC >Anon = Beta but sometimes watch UFC >Have some feelings to her, feel like not happening >Never tell my feelings to her >Present Day >I still have feelings for her despite the fact she has a bf >Destroyed my only chance >I sob at the thought at destroying chances i suck at life and its bullshit to know that I destroy chances i couldve grabbed right now
>>564451860 >Be me >15 >Have girlfriend who's really psycho and controlling >Think I love her, don't know what love is >Have friend >Really sweet, we get along great. She's a total pervert and it's obvious she's crushing on me hard >Always having fun with her, she's a total beta-girl but she has huge blue eyes and giant tits >Always fighting with psycho gf, always my fault, everything I do is wrong >She's jealous and tells me to choose between her and my best friend >Think I love this girl, I choose her. I don't want to see her go >Slowly break it off with my friend, she gets lonely and tries hard to make our friendship become more than that >I think I love the other girl >Fast forward a year >Gf cheats on me and says it's my fault >Totally destroyed and heartbroken, need my friend to talk to, she understands >Turns out since then she's turned into a total skank, isn't the same >I fuck her a couple times and never talk to her much again >I destroyed my chance to actually have a girl that appreciates me
>>564466612 Oh, he's my best friend. A very similar thing happened to him and he was telling me about it when we were drunk last night. He actually cried and said I was the only person he could tell these kinds of things to. Really made me feel.
>she goes over to her friends house one day after school >i dont think much of it, just tell her to have fun and whatnot >it starts getting late >like, REALLY fucking late >my parents and i are wondering where she is >we think maybe she just decided to stay at her friends house for the night and just forgot to call >but deep down, we're worried and we can feel that something was wrong >the next day, i wake up to wailing and crying >go downstairs to the living room >there's a cop down there with my parents >everyone just stared at me in silence for a moment >dad walks up to me >first thing he says is: >"son, your sister is dead" >felt my whole world come crashing down at that exact moment >that explains why she never came home last night >the cop tells me that she was probably attacked and raped on her way home last night >that sort of just makes me feel even worse >i dont say anything, just sort of walk out the door of the house and start sprinting to where her friends house was >i can see police cars and ambulances in the distance >"no no no no no please let this be a prank" >i run up and see the medics putting a body bag in on a stretcher and hauling it away >i scream my lungs out, telling them to wait, that i wanted to see my sister >a couple bystanders hold me back, and looking back on it now, it was probably good that they did >fall into a massive depression >it gets so bad that i dont even want to move from my bed >don't even play Pokemon for weeks >a week later, her funeral comes around >they want me to speak at her funeral >i say ok because I knew her better than anyone else >the time comes for me to speak >but i cant >i physically cannot speak >my words get stuck in my throat and i cant say anything >start to break down and sob right there at the fucking podium >she had a closed casket >i never got to see her again
the story is coming to a close, but there's still one more part left, and i feel its crucial
>>564466962 Anon were all here for you and for our fallen bros that has the feels to share.... I too lost a beautiful lady all because of my fuck up.... Now she's happy with her new relationship the hardest thing was seeing it with my own eyes..... We all have something to live for. We're all your /b/ros anon we all share the feels together...
>>564451860 This happened to my brother when I was 21. He was 24 at the time. >living in armidale, australia. >friends come over for drinks for my mates 23rd birthday >I have a nice but small property where we always have parties >the neighbours are within a hundred metres of the party >party of about 50 people so it's quite loud >neighbour is a fucking angry old couple >calls up saying they're going to deal with us if we don't quiet down >apologise but in our defence long-weekend >about thirty minutes after that call the old guy drives up my driveway >met with about 40-50 drunk 20-30 year olds and my brother's and a few mate's dogs >he has his hunting rifle (farm owners can obtain a license) >he's a fucking nutcase and points it in our direction >brother was inside and heard a bang >comes outside to see everyone quiet with his dog shot >a few mates grab the guy and call the police >my brother runs to his dog, sits down and pulls him onto his lap >he is crying and holding the bullet hole >dog is dead >brother takes off his hoodie spluttering "Max is cold. Anon, get help. Max is fucking cold."
He only just got another dog and called him Maximus
>>564469532 cont. >the green grapes were sour >i threw them across the kitchen >grab a bottle of heineken >stomped to our room (the one where sex happens >green bottle in hand >somebody's heine is crowding my icebox >somebody's cold one is giving me chills >I guess I'll just close my eyes >i cry myself to sleep
Here's my latest feels: >Be me >18 >betafag >kissless virgin >get new job >meet 9/10 qt 3.14 coworker >really cool >likes video games, comic books, other nerd shit >hnnnng.jpeg >we start talking >become best friends >one day she comes over to hang out >alone in my room > we cuddle in bed >finally she kisses me >fuckyesIvedoneit.gif >now less of a loser/betafag >we hang out again to watch movie >we make out for a solid twenty minutes >she straddles my lap >made it second base and french kissed for first time >aww yissss >she leaves for college 12 hours away >sad.tiff >tell her I love her >eventually agree to do long distance >ffw weeks later >she barely talks to me anymore >when she does it's always about her cool new guy friends who are in a band >even posts a picture of her cuddling with them and another of how they sent letters to each other cuz they're such great friends >blatantly ignores my texts now >always hangs out with her new friends >feels like she's leaving me >mfw I was probably just a toy for her to play with before she left
>>564456637 Man, I pretty much know what you feel. I am not going to commit suicide, but pretty much I am on my crash and burn train. All my life I have been a good boy. Was good at school, had everything under control... In last two years I have lost my parents, get my masters degree in EE. Now, I am 24, have a job I hate, but saved like 40 k bucks. I never had teenage love, I never did party and gone out, I never fucked some 15 year old with tight body. I pretty much in 3-4 years gonna destroy my body. I started steroids, doing speed and other drugs. Where I live this shit is dirt cheap and with my 40 k I will be able to live careless. I will probably commit suicide in one point, but I wanna crash and burn in blazing glory. I have nothing more to lose.
>>564456637 You should stop being a beta prick instead be an alpha Trojan. Your weak if you decide to off yourself. Make yourself a list and go out and experience life smoke weed go to pubs drinks with your mates or make new mates or get drunk and fight whatever it is the weight your carrying let it out bro. Hell if I was your friend I would have a beer with you mate. Don't be a PUSSY about it whip your COCK out and let the world know your the ALPHA of this bitch.
Yeah feels thread? Sure I'll bite with a little OC
>Fresh out of Highschool >Suffering from major depressive disorder >On my spring break >Go on holiday with a guy I knew (didn't really have any friends at highschool, and this guy I could sort of put up with) >We go to this popular place where a bunch of our classmates usually hang out >Its basically like a four day party before we go back home >Kind of ok, I get ditched a bunch by classmates I want to hang out with >Also get hilariously smashed >Third day I have a chance run in with this girl >Brunette, easy on the eyes, really shy >Just seems so nervous and shy >Approach her with the fucking cheesiest line ever >"Why so sad charlie brown" >She fucking starts giggling immediately >We hit it off instantly >Week after we meet we are dating >Everything seems to be going ok. >However, round this time, depression starts to take a second swing >I start pushing myself away, can't bear the thought of hurting her >She tries to help me, does really sweet things for me too. >Shows up at my work with flowers, surprises me with gifts all the time >Does this for two solid months >I start to come out of it, and things looking up >We have a massive fight a week later, we both say some things we shouldn't have >We meet up a day or two later and decide to end it >She tries talking to me after it all, but I don't want to talk to her. >Eventually she stops trying, I dont see her anymore
Fast Forward to now
>I get a letter in the mail, its been fucking lost for 4 years >Addressed to me. Its from her >Letter details apology, she wants to start again. Tells me that I'm the first guy she's ever fallen in love with >Remember that I heard from one of my friends that she's left the country >Burst into tears
I fucked it /b/. Had a real shot at happiness and I fucked it
alright, here it is. the last part, and it's a big one
fast forwarding to December of 2007
>the cops have been investigating for months >they finally come up with a lead and say they've found the guy >i feel my blood start to boil >there's this pent-up rage brewing inside me that I've never felt before >cop tells me he'll go on trial in the new year >i cant wait that long, wanna see his ass get beat now >i personally decide to hunt him down >cop said he lived in a shitty part of the city, so i mess around there for a bit >see a guy whose face resembles the mugshot that the cop showed me >targetfuckinglocked.jpg >i walk up to the dude and start off all friendly with him >"hey man! how's it going?" >"not bad, but uh.... do i know you?" >"oh no no. but you knew my sister" >"you know. the one you raped and killed back in august" >his eyes just kinda flash with a slight bit of fear before i tackle him and start beating the ever-loving fuck out of him it should be stated that at the time i was 15 years old, 5'9" and about 160 lbs >this guy had a good hundred pounds on me >but somehow i took him down and was pounding his face into raw meat >pick the dude up, smash his head into a window and break a piece of glass off >hold it up to his neck >i see the fear in his eyes and it makes me feel good. like, damn good >for a split second, i think of the fear my sister had felt and i see it in him >drop the piece of glass and throw him to the ground >without saying a word, i turn and walk away, leaving the guy bloody and broken >my knuckles are bruised badly and more than likely broken >i realize that i probably would have killed him had i not seen my sister >i would have been just as bad as him >silently thank her as i walk home >two months later, he was sentenced to 30 years in prison fast forward to now >be 22 years old >living in America now >find an old box with my gameboy in it >turn it on and find that blaziken >still remember the day she gave it to me
Anon. You never know the affect you may have on others. Don't give up on your life. especially if you don't know how you may be able to affect others. Some of the most fuced up people I ave ever met have had the greatest impacts on my life.
>>564470832 You pushed her away because you couldn't believe that she might love you. You did it because you saw yourself as an awful person and acted like you were, even though you really weren't awful at all and she knew it.
Even in depression, with absolutely no self-esteem and self-love, you should consider the possibility that someone may see in you something that you can't.
How do I know all this? Because once, I was in your situation.
>>564472301 Maybe, I am not gonna commit suicide, but I do not wanna live my life without going trough youth period. I do not wanna to wake up every day in 6 AM and do some stupid job I hate, than when I am 30 marry some slut and have some kids. I do not wanna live my life by rules anymore. Only it gave me is pain and suffering. I know I sound like someone who is 15 and who should have experienced this phase long time ago, but when my parents died I just snapped, it all seemed meaningless. I just started not to give a fuck. My body may betray me when I am 50, may betray me in 6 months. I will just live my life trough chemistry. Roids gave me muscle and confidence, speed gave me energy and euphoria. I am happy now. I would rather live 5 years being happy than live 50 in misery.
>>564451860 >yesterday night >go to a house party with some friends >drunkbro is 21 >drunkbro drinks way too much >starts acting a fool >starts making out with random nigresses at the party >invites strangers in yogagirl's car >have to kick said strangers out of yogagirl's car because they start yelling "white trash" >nearly get in a fight with said nigger >get to drunkbro's house at 2:00, he is yelling racial slurs when he gets in the house >starts bugging his uncle >wakes up his grandpa >grandpa is visibly dissapointed in his grandson >drunkbro's mom (who I thought was cool with drunk bro's behavior) is visibly upset >suddenly feel tears in my eyes >we all get kicked out of the house >go to park >tears are flowing freely >start yelling at him >yogagirl and democratbro are too nervous to involve themselves >takes an hour for me to penetrate his skull >make him pour out the rest of his whiskey >we all wright notes and put them inside the bottle >I completely ruin the good atmosphere
I always thought he had some control over his drinking habits, but seeing his uncle, grandpa and mother affected like that made me cry in a way I haven't done since grade 6.
>>564473554 I did, Grandpa is still alive. I want so much to heart to heart with him but I do not know how for lack of better explanation. Grandma is ashe now and all in my head is the words "please don't be like your brother anon".
>>564474260 I hope so. But I must say that these days I'm full of fears towards everything. She wants to speak with me about something but I'm such a pussy and I don't want. I know that she won't be back for a lot of time
I've just been dumped yesterday by gf. We've been for a 1 year. We had many issues, but we've got through them. However, she had many silly (not only my opinion) issues and was upset very often. What is worse, she wouldn't tell me that she was upset. She would hold it for some time and pretend that it's okay (even though I could see that it is not, she would deny that). Finally she would tell me and since I've been fed bs for some time I was quite angry. I didn't say anything bad, just things like 'why she was upset about such minor thing' and why didn't she tell me.
Well, I've discovered that she wanted to dump me for some time, however (that's only my guess) she was staying with me because it was nice and comfortable. I knew from a female friend that when they were texting, she would mention that she's gonna break up with me in the lines of like 'I will break up with him, etc..Btw, I have bought a new nice dress!:)'. So it was kinda of bad seeing that she doesn't really care. What I've also found out was that she was planning to make things better so when she'll leave me, I won't have a bad opinion on her and so do my friends.
Finally, I've said everything what was on my mind and said that we need to work hard on honesty and communication in order to make things work all right. Needless to say, she wouldn't want to do that and just left.
That's my Saturday (fun, eh?). I miss her very much, however some part of my brain says I shouldn't - I guess she didn't really care about me and everything she's said was a lie. Now I need to get her out of my mind, which will take some time.
>be a popular athlete an honor student at my school >occasionally fuck a nice 8/10 unpopular girl on the down-low, she was newer to town and never made friends >she cool to keep it low, doesn't get jealous bout more popular girls' hangin with me at school >always pass her shy freshman brother in hall every day >I know he gets picked on alot an it's hard on him so I say hi to him because I see him when I go over to hang with his sister >I can tell he feels are better, I see him looking ahead for me every day same time down hall at school to say hi >then one day kids trolling him as im walking by in student lounge before school, something funny happened and I laughed at trolls trollin, pure instinct >he saw me laugh, can see in his eyes he instahurt way worse than from bullies >was gonna apologize inhall, but he cut class an heroed at home on pills >95% of school doesn't even know who he is, thers maybe 10 kids at funeral. >Just a 15 second moment of silence at school for him one morning before class >later sis tells me how i'm only one ever said anything to him ever > I could tell he was barely hangin on, why didn't even his family see it? >I felt bad on many levels, don't tell her bout the bullies an me laughing >next week be leavin school after liftin weights >see the trolls in parking lot, just walked up and nigger-jacked one from the side before I fucked up the other one pretty fucking bad >next day got called to principles office, he wanna kno wtf happened? >I said they deserved it I don't care how u punish me >keeps askin me why, it's not like me, etc >said it was something I had to do > I can tell he knows its related to hero kid, he knows I been fuckin his sister >he just says leave an hell think bout what to do > never called me back, no trouble. >couldnt bring myself try to bang sis anymore, or evn talk, too much shit in my head to be round her > nevr saw her, or bullies, or an hero kid again, 10 years later now
>>564480487 That anon here, im 21 and have been talking to a girl, slept over twice. Im aggressive sexually and she thinks im some badass player because im always playing with her body. Shes 6.5/10, i dont like her personality, her bathroom is dirty and unkept, her sisters are ghetto, we have nothing in common, she always says that I like her and i say nothing. I just want a cute girl to cuddle with, i can make them laugh by acting dumb, i can make them laugh by getting alittle too excited when i talk about work, i jjst want to sleepwith her outside. Knowing you missed the best days kf your life because you were too fucking dumb to talk to girls. Fuck. Fuck.
Now is not at time though anon. Now is the time we enjoy each other's company an revel in it. Now is the time to feel. Or so i desire. If i never get another chance to feel. I hope to feel the hardest now.
Ech, got a really shitty story, but still. I find it pretty sad >i was never in love with this girl, she was nice, we had so many things on common, she even told me what positions she liked (mostly doggystyle) >one day of school, couple more days till summer >we are sitting in the library talking, usual. >i've never had a girlfriend before, but she had so many guys in her life >we start talking about crushes and such, i didn't have a crush at the time because all the girls at my school are nasty looking >then, we started to talk about her crush >she says he is in our classroom >she says he wears a coat all the time >she says him and her have a lot in common >then I snapped and realized it was fucking me >played it off like I didn't know, because I don't know if I love her or not >tell me she will tell me at the prep rally, because school is ending and such >i save her a seat sorry if my grammar has gone bad, little sad while typing this >she sits next to me and we started to make fun of the slutty cheerleaders and such >suddenly, she tells me "am i ready?" >tell her yea >she whispers in my ear >"you" >my world has going lighter >feeling a little happy >stuttering for 1 minute trying to tell her does she want to date >she said yea, she said she was really happy >tells me she had a boyfriend >she fucking breaks up with him for me >omg yes >we dated over the summer, talked every day on facebook (its summer >one day, i started to feel sad. >i actually kind of lied to her a lot, anon. I'm a fucking queer >i even told her that i loved her all this time during the school year >feel sad because i kept lying to her >and it wasn't even big lies >She would say "want to skype?" make some lame ass excuse saying "i'm kind of watching a movie" >one day, i posted something on 4chan, /b/, saying that I was sad lying to her and more sad things. >if you don't remember me, the file was a sad larry pic, try to find the photo >i captured the photo, for the right time cont?
>>564487428 >she sends me a message saying "Do you still love me, anon?" >she knows i saw it, because fucking facebook >i waited a while >send her the capture >she acted cool about it >she said she was ok >i hated to hurt people >her friend message me saying "WHY?!?" >i talked to her about it, tell her is she fine >figured out she has been crying for a while now >heart broken, hated it >i was even saving her a bracelet >pic related >later she became suicidal, wanting to end it so bad >we still talked a little bit >soon it started to stop, she stopped messaging me >me and her friend talks now >nothing serious though, pointless to put that in >she dyes her hair because she wants to forget about me >school starts >then, she started hitting on one of my friends >she dates him now, and i'm sitting here, alone >her cute friend i have no chance on because she likes two dude >fuckinghellwhy.jpg >now I am sitting here typing this >knowing that I won't get no more love :( >trying to knock myself out of depression Sorry if this was a waste to read, kind of a shitty ending. Stay strong Anons
>>564488283 FuckiNg a dumb bitch doesnt make up for losing your first kiss after school, missing out on summer flings, cuddling together on a cold winter day or cocoa the night before school restarts after christmas break. I have to imagine fantasies about love whrn i fuck other wise i wont cum. my favorite thing to do while fucking is to pick up the girl, i pretend im not fucking then, i pretend im seeing an old friend for the first time in a long time, and i pick her up and we kiss, then we go to the park and laugh and talk and she rests her head on my shoulder as we compare sizes of our hands. If i cant cum like that then i go doggy and shove her face into the bed. Fuck it.
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