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>be me >never had a girlfriend before, hardly any friends

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 118
Thread images: 22

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>be me
>never had a girlfriend before, hardly any friends
>it was during holidays
>first week of holidays passed with me staying home almost all the time, was getting pretty tired of this
>one day my mother interrupted me while i was playing starcraft just as usual
>'anon, your friends want to talk with you'
>i wanted to talk with someone pretty badly but not exactly then
>well, they're my friends, what could i do
>'hi anon, come with us, we're going to the party'
>it was Mike, we knew each other from school but he was just making fun of me most of the time, never thought of him as one of my friends
>i just wanted to refuse and return back to playing starcraft
>'come on, anon, it's going to be fun'
>he must've known what i'm trying to do
>'i d-don't know, mike'
>some girls chuckled
>'you don't really have a choice, anon. you're going with us,' mike said, smiling like he always did
>'well, let me just do something first,' i said and returned to my room
>'yeah, yeah, tell your internet friends you're going to have fun tonight, anon,' said mike and some girls chuckled again
>few moments later i was on the way to my first party in ages, and, well, first real party in my life
>i didn't know the guy who organized this party. his house was huge and there was like fifty people inside already
>i knew some of them from school, never even talked with most of them, though
>'welcome to the party, anon,' said mike and hit me in the back a little too much. 'just do whatever the fuck you want, be yourself, anon,' he then said, leaving me alone. the girls went with him of course
>there was of course this one girl already at the party which stood out from the rest. she was a beautiful brunette and everybody knew her, even me, which is weird because she wasn't even from my school. her name was Lisa
>i didn't want her like most of the guys, probably because i didn't want to delude myself that i had any chances with her at all
>i just wanted to drink something as fast as possible to gain some confidence and maybe even try to have some fun
>suddenly my crush
>oh my god what is she doing here?
>she was just sitting there and talking with her female friend. i don't think she even knew who i was at that point
>meanwhile Mike was trying to pick up Lisa. he wasn't the only one of course, but one of the more successful players from the whole bunch
>'hi anon, you here?'
>it was David, one of my actual friends
>'here, have a drink,' he gave me a beer
>'let's talk, anon,' he then said. 'come on'
>we sat at the same table as my crush
>she didn't seem to care, no one did
>meanwhile Lisa and Mike started dancing, she was wearing sexy black short dress. most of the guys just looked at her for a few seconds, then we all pretended we don't care
>after several minutes of meaningless talk with David i started to feel a little drunk

should I continue?
hahaha look at all dem words
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cool beans mang
continue you disabled prick
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continue OP
>'are you having fun, anon?,' Mike appeared out of nowhere. he seemed high
>'yeah, i am,' i lied
>'see that bitch, anon?,' he pointed at Lisa who was still dancing. 'hoe's going to be mine tonight. cheers, anon,' he drank more beer and went away
>everyone near me remained silent the whole time. they probably didn't suspect that Mike "liked" me that much
>'do we know each other?'
>it was my crushes' friend, but she seemed curious, too
>'y-yeah, i've seen you before, i think'
>'I'm Alex,' she introduced herself
>'Zoey,' my crush did too
>'nice to meet you, anon,' Alex smiled and i just wanted to be much, much more drunk than i already was
>'time to find my girlfriend,' said David. i forgot about him completely. 'cheers, anon'
>oh shit what now?
>'so... do you have someone, anon?,' Alex asked. Zoey was looking at me the whole time, but remained silent
>'no, not really. not at the moment, at least'
>oh my god what the fuck am i saying?
>'cool,' she said, smiling. Zoey smiled too
>'and you?,' i asked just to say something. it sounded stupid, though
>'it depends, anon,' she was still smiling
>i don't think i have to say it but they were both pretty drunk
>'y-yeah, i understand'
>i didn't, though, and it was pretty dumb thing to say
>'i'm glad you do, anon. cheers'
>'y-yeah, cheers'
>what the fuck am i even doing here?
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Plz cont
continue pls I'm into it
>suddenly complete silence
>music was still playing of course
>Lisa hit Mike
>'what the fuck are you doing, bitch?'
>'i heard how you called me. just get the fuck out of here, Mike'
>'you know? from whom? wait. maybe anon told you something'
>everyone instantly looked at me. i couldn't move a single muscle
>'it was anon, wasn't it?,' Mike continued. 'why would you believe this retard?'
>i know i should've done something, but i just couldn't. i remained completely silent the whole time
>'it's none of your business, Mike. just get out,' Lisa replied
>'come on, anon, say something,' Mike turned to me. 'if you have the courage to to talk behind my back, you can say something now'
>i just couldn't say a word. woudn't know what to say anyway
>'you're drunk, Mike,' said David in my defence. 'anon was with me the whole time, he didn't speak with Lisa'
>'shut the fuck up, loser,' he replied and then turned back to Lisa. 'you fucking whore can just fuck anon for all i care if you like him so much. i wouldn't want to be with you anyway'
>'maybe i should,' she looked at me
>complete paralysis
>she started approaching me
>oh my god what the fuck is happening?
>complete silence everywhere, music stopped playing long time ago
>she bent down and kissed me
>i didn't even move my lips, she did all the work and it felt fucking wonderful
>'fucking whore,' i heard Mike whispering
>suddenly cheers from everywhere. people started laughing
>Lisa sat next to me, embraced me and looked at Mike. he was pretty angry
>'get the fuck out, Mike. no one wants you here,' she said
>'you're batshit insane, bitch. are you going to get laid with anon now?'
>'maybe,' she answered, smiling
>what the fuck
It's pasta, ends with him fucking the friend of his crush or somesuch nonsense. Sage
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What a time to be alive
why post pasta anon? it's not even good pasta

Pasta fucks some hot girl stealing her from Mike without trying. Leads to his crush not liking pasta but then crush's best friend fucks pasta and pasta marries crush.
>she was clearly very drunk, but that should go without saying
>she looked at me for a while, not saying anything
>i don't know what happened to Mike, was to shocked to notice if he left or stayed
>people tried not to pay attention to us because it would be weird
>except for my crush, Zoey, and Alex. they were looking at us all the fucking time
>'do you like my dress, anon?,' Lisa asked me
>'y-yeah, it's beautiful'
>'so... anon,' she said ten seconds later, while rubbing my chest. one of her legs was on me. 'what else do you like about me?'
>'i-i like your hair... i guess'
>oh my fucking god that was atrocious thing to say
>'aren't you sure?,' she asked, pretending to be sad
>'no, i am. you're very beautiful'
>she yawned
>oh my god she just yawned
>i bet she thinks i'm a retard or something
>say something, just say something
>'a-and i liked that kiss'
>'yeah, me too,' she smiled. 'why don't we go upstairs, anon? there we can kiss as much as we want'
>i heard that Alex started to chuckle
>'yeah, sure... i mean, yeah, why not'
>instant boner
>oh my god i hope no one notices
>'follow me, anon,' said Lisa, grabbing my hand. she stood up and started pulling me somewhere
>i heard people laughing behind my back
>Lisa was laughing too
>i wasn't, though. and i bet everyone just saw that boner

You fucking niggers.
>we went to the bedroom
>'now, anon,' she said, while closing the door, 'where exactly do you want to kiss me?'
>'everywhere,' i said without thinking
>she smiled
>didn't make a move, though. i think she was waiting for me
>i wanted to fuck her so badly i didn't even think about being shy
>i approached her and kissed her in the lips, she still didn't want to do anything and i didn't quite know what to do
>'what are you waiting for, anon?,' she asked. 'i'm all yours, do with me whatever you want.' she smiled
>i never thought i could get a boner that big
>'did you have sex before?,' Lisa asked me
>'you could start by taking off my clothes, anon. let me help you,' she said and then slowly took off her dress
>she clearly enjoyed my hesitation
>she was wearing black underwear and she looked magnificent in it
>she jumped on the bed
>'it's your turn, anon, take off everything'
>i immediately started to undress while she was watching me with smile
>'now take off your pants, anon,' she said. i didn't hesitate this time
>i took off the last piece of clothes i was still wearing, revealing my boner to her
>'nice cock,' she said that like it was completely regular thing to say
>'oh come on, anon, no need to be shy now. just do whatever you want with me. like all these things you always saw the pornstars were doing'
>that's exactly when my excitement finally gained full control over me and my body
>she was still smiling when i jumped on the bed and embraced her whole body. i started kissing her
>first i just kissed her on her lips, but it wasn't enough for me
>i just wanted to kiss her everywhere
>i kissed her on the neck, then started licking it
>'that's right, anon,' she said, taking off her bra. 'kiss me wherever you want'
>when i saw her breast, i knew exactly where i want to kiss her

this isn't pasta guys I promise
could you be even one fucking day nice?
tree fiddy incoming
I can not, dear anon, for I am Heaven, destroyer of threads, second only to OP in my mastery of cock sucking.
I swear to god everygoddamn time i fucking say OP Aint going to faggot this time and he always is

but come on OP i believe you im hooked
Fuck you, this shit is way too long
You could have summed 90% of this up in five fucking sentences you faggot
this is pasta
>i started playing with her tits, she was still smiling
>biggest boner of my life
>she reached for my cock, started gently touching it
>she jumped out of bed and bent down to give me a blowjob
>i just sat down and looked at her, touching her beautiful black hair
>oh my god she was good at it
>started stroking it faster, then licked the bottom of my glans
>'you like it?,' she asked, while looking at me with a smile. her tongue was still playing with my penis
>'yes, don't stop,' i answered. i was already pretty close to cumming
>she took it all down her throat, i knew i was going to cum soon
>then she just took my glans into her mouth and started playing with it with her tongue
>i started cumming
>she swiftly took it off and started jerking me off, my cum ended up both on her face and in her mouth
>i closed my eyes while she laughed
>when i opened my eyes, she was licking my cum from her hands
>'did you like it, anon?,' she asked me
>'yes, it felt great'
>'i'm still turned on you know. don't tell me you're already done'
>i didn't say anything, just took her hand and made her stand up, then i took off her panties
>she was completely shaved
>i made her lie down on the bed, then i started to lick her pussy
>i didn't know if she'll enjoy it or not and i didn't even care, i just wanted to play with her pussy
>'yes, anon, that's it,' she said. she wasn't smiling anymore. 'just keep licking it'
>i started fingering her
>she bent back her head, her breast lifted up
>'don't stop, anon'
>she started to get pretty wet, and i felt that my boner is back
>suddenly someone open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>went to party
>all awkward as fuck
>got laid
>other stuff

but thats just boring so NO
Just playing with you guys the next part incoming.
~(_8^(I) THIS IS NOW A ~(_8^(I) THREAD
>her body was perfect
>'i want you to fuck me, anon,' she said with a serious look on her face
>i stood up. when she saw my boner, she licked her lips, which was pretty sexy
>'do it,' she said, lying down on a bed
>i put my penis inside her, it felt wonderful
>she moaned
>i started slowly
>the i went faster and faster. she started to smile, tightening her fists
>she was tighter than i thought she would be but then again i didn't exactly have a good comparison back then
>she started moaning, but quietly
>i was feeling a little exhausted at that point, but obviously that didn't stop me
>'yes, anon,' she moaned, 'fuck meee'
>that was sexy as fuck
>i was just about to cum the second time, when she closed her eyes and started moaning, this time a little louder
>then i came in her
>suddenly the biggest exhaustion in my life, i just lied on the bed next to her
>she started laughing nervously, while covering her face with her hand
>'i can't believe you just made me cum, anon,' she said with amusement
>'yeah, me too,' i replied. then we just lied there without talking to each other. i was touching her beautiful hair and she didn't do anything, just lied there with me
>she stood up first, several minutes later, and silently started putting on her clothes
>i was watching her the whole time
>then she looked at me and smiled, but that smile wasn't intended for me, i think she was just amused. then she just left the room without saying anything
you're a girl!! You cannot be like fucking that!!
seen you ;) short dark hairs, brown eyes ;)
Don't do this op
>after that i left the party without talking to anyone. i was exhausted and just wanted to sleep for the rest of the night. so yeah, that's basically everything important that happened that day
>next morning i logged on facebook
>mfw 15 messages
>most of them was meaningless, just some stupid emoticons and shit like that
>then i saw a message from Zoey
>faster heart beating
>by the way yes, i did feel fucking great thinking about what happened last night. i was no longer a virgin and even though that doesn't really mean anything (seriously), back then i thought everything is going to change now that i had sex
>so i started to read Zoey's message
>'hey anon, i really liked talking with you yesterday. let's do something together soon'
>'sure. what do you propose?,' i replied instantly and then went to bathroom to masturbate
>when i got back the answer was already there
>'Rob is organising a party tonight. let's go there together'
>i didn't even know who Rob was
>'okay, what time?'
>'pick me up around nine,' she responded instantly
>'where do you live?'
>she gave me the address
>'see you there'
>next few hours were pretty dull. i was still thinking about last night and Lisa. i didn't even play starcraft, just waited for the evening doing completely nothing the whole time
>i knocked on her door exactly at nine
>'hey, just give me a second, anon'
>i waited half an hour
>'okay, let's go,' she smiled. she was wearing a short black dress, just like Lisa was last night
>'so, did you have fun yesterday, anon?,' she asked me
>'what about you?,' i added after a moment
>'yeah, i did, too. let's make this night special, anon. you know what i mean?'
>'y-yeah, sure'

You must be American.
don't rustle my jimmies, fag
Confirmed, OP is a faggot
Nah was just kidding, anon. This is real.
iam not a fucking fag ;)
>we sat at the table, she immediately gave me a beer
>'cheers, anon'
>'yeah, cheers'
>'so, anon, remember yesterday when we asked if you're with someone?'
>i noded
>'then, well, is it still true? you know, after what happened tonight'
>'i think so'
>she just smiled at me, not saying anything
>'i like your dress,' i said after a while
>'thanks, anon'
>what now?
>should i keep this conversation or just try to kiss her or something?
>i mean she does want me and i clearly want her, so why wait?
>i decided to be alpha for once
>'i really like you, Zoey'
>'i like you too, anon,' she smiled. i smiled too, and then silence again
>'hi, anon'
>it was Lisa
>she was already very drunk
>she sat next to me, i didn't say anything, just smiled at her
>it wasn't supposed to happen
>she started to rub my chest just like yesterday
>'you were good last night, anon, you know that?'
>Zoey was just looking at us, not saying anything
>'y-yeah, you too'
>she kissed me
>'i'm going home now, anon,' Zoey said, standing up
>'no, wait,' i said, but she didn't listen. Lisa kissed me again
>'hey, Lisa, i want to talk with you,' said Mike, suddenly appearing out of nowhere
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I love you dude no homo
Agreed, you are OP's toy faggot
please type faster than i can read nigger
>'i wanted to apologize, Lisa'
>'for what?,' she asked him, while still touching my chest
>'for yesterday. i really like you'
>'don't you see i'm busy with anon?'
>he just sat next to her and kissed her, she didn't fight back
>'not anymore, you're with me now,' he said
>she smiled, then they started kissing again
>'what are you looking at, anon?,' Mike asked me. Lisa looked at me with smile
>'n-nothing,' i answered and then stood up, now that Lisa wasn't embracing me anymore
>i just left them alone and tried to find Zoey
>she obviously left the party, i went outside trying to catch up with her
>suddenly my phone rang
>'hey anon, it's Alex. we need to talk'
>it was Alex from yesterday, Zoey's friend
>'about what?'
>'just meet me at my house. it's complicated'
>before i could say anything she just gave me her address and hung up
>i suspected it could involve Zoey so i did what she told me
>several minutes later i knocked on her door, she opened almost instantly
>she was wearing only her nightgown
>'come inside, anon,' she grabbed my hand, smiling
>'so, what do you want to talk about?,' i asked her, she made me sit on the couch
>'nothing,' she answered
>she tried to kiss me
>'i can't,' i said, moving away from her. 'i need to find Zoey'
>'she isn't going anywhere, anon, and it will be our little secret'
>then we kissed. multiple times. she made me touch her breast. she wasn't wearing anything but her nightgown
>'so she was right,' Alex said, when we finally stopped kissing. 'you're such a cheater, anon,' she smiled at me. 'i'm going to tell her everything'
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moar op
>i remained completely silent
>'we wanted to find out if you'll cheat on Zoey or not. now you're totally fucked, anon'
>i still didn't say anything
>'what happened, anon? forgot how to speak?'
>'you won't tell her anything,' i said
>'or what?,' she answered, smiling
>i didn't know what to say
>'fucking pussy,' she laughed at me. 'don't threaten a girl if you have nothing to support your threats'
>i pushed her on the coach
>she was still smiling
>'whatever you'll do to me, Zoey will find out, anon'
>she unbuttonned her nightgown, exposing her tits
>oh my god what is she doing?
>i just didn't know what to do with her
>'let's make a deal, anon,' she said. 'fuck me good enough and i won't tell Zoey anything. what do you say?'
>'she is your best friend, why would you do something like that to her?'
>'why would you care, you cheater? just do what you wanted to do and don't try to understand girls' friendship. it's clearly too complicated for you'
>'is it just another one of your tricks? i'm not going to fuck you'
>she took off her nightgown completely, showing off her pussy. now she was completely naked and still smiling
>'you don't really have a choice, anon. if you want Zoey, you have to fuck me'
>she leant towards me and kissed me again
>i really wanted to stop this, but i couldn't
>'now show me your cock, anon'
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Still interested, keep going
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i know. fuck i'm exhausted.
>i took off all my clothes, she left the room for a moment
>she returned with something to drink, immediately looked at my cock and smiled
>'nice. we're going to have some fun tonight'
>'i don't want to have fun with you, Alex,' i said
>'and i don't care what you want. or should i just take picture of your cock and send it to Zoey?'
>she gave me the drink
>'cheers, anon'
>i didn't say anything, just drank it and sat on the couch
>'as i said, anon, if you'll fuck me good enough, i will help you with Zoey. but only if you'll be good enough. deal?'
>she didn't wait for my answer, just approached and sat on me
>then we started kissing again, both completely naked
>she started jerking me off until i got a boner
>when it was big enough she just started riding me
>it was pretty good actually, but i was still feeling helpless
>i just let her do whatever she wanted with me
>she started going faster, then she grabbed my head and made me suck on her tits while still fucking me
>'your turn, anon,' she whispered after some time, lying down on the coach
>i stood up and tried to put myself in her, but my dick wasn't big enough
>she swiftly started giving me a blowjob
>she was pretty good at it, not as good as Lisa but still not bad
>when my boner returned, i started fucking her
>i was enjoying it as much as she did at this point. completely forgot about Zoey for a moment
>that was of course until i came, then i felt pathetic again
>mfw i was just raped by my crushes' best friend
>'you weren't that bad, anon,' said Alex, lying on the couch and smiling
>'you can't say Zoey about this. promise me'
>'don't worry, anon, it will be our little secret'

I know its fake but this crap really breaks my boner
OP is a fag pasta is for faggots
seen this before
I had half boner for moment but op types to slow, to bad for my dick
>'now put on your clothes'
>i don't know why i asked that
>'you're going to meet with Zoey tonight, anon. i'll tell her you love her or something like that. just don't fuck it up like the last time'
>'yeah, i won't'
>'then go'
>'we should do that again sometime, anon,' she said while i was putting on my clothes. 'remember, Zoey would believe anything i say'
>fucking psycho bitch
>next i went to Zoey, of course
>she opened the door before i even knocked
>'what are you doing here, anon?'
>'i'm sorry, Zoey, it shoudn't have happened'
>'whatever, just go'
>i tried to embrace her, but she wouldn't let me
>'i'm not some random whore like Lisa, anon. don't even try this with me'
>then i just kissed her and she didn't do anything this time
>'anon, stop,' she whispered
>'it was supposed to be our special night, remember?'
>oh fuck i just said that. felt alpha as fuck
>she wanted to say something, but her mother showed up
>'who is it, Zoey?'
>'just a friend, mom. come with me, anon'
>she brought me to her room
>'now we can talk,' she said, closing the door
lol raped
men cant be raped
that gif disgusts me on a number of levels
Lol fuck this shit i could read a fine book and you still posting this beta fucks alpha chicks i bet your worm is 3 inches eract
That's a retarded statement.
You're retarded.
>'look, Zoey, i didn't really want to kiss her'
>'so why did you?'
>'s-she made me'
>oh my god
>'i think you should leave, anon'
>i started approaching her, but she moved away
>'you won't change anything by kissing me again, anon. go away'
>'okay, i'll leave if you want'
>i seriously wanted to leave, didn't think there is still a chance to change her mind
>'wait, anon,' she said when i wanted to open the door
>'what do you think about her?,' she asked me
>'i don't like her as much as i like you,' i answered. Zoey didn't say anything
>'well, i pretty much hate her,' i lied
>'i can't be with you if you're going to play around with other girls, anon'
>'i know. that was an exception, i promise'
>'did you have sex with her last night?'
>she was just looking at me, didn't say anything
>then she sat on the bed and i sat next to her. i put my hand on her lap. she grabbed that hand
>'i believe you,' she said
>i kissed her and we both lied down on the bed
>that was when our special night really started
so wtf you doing here?:Dpasta is for faggots
faster u fuckin nigger i want to read it
Saging for great justice
is bait called when it was so obviously bait that it wasnt even being used as bait?
>'are you a virgin?,' i asked her when we finally stopped kissing
>'no,' she answered. i didn't care
>we started kissing again, embracing and touching each other. she was still wearing that black dress
>'Alex told me you looked very sad while talking with her, anon,' she said, looking me straight in the eyes
>'yes, i was sad,' i answered. i just wanted to continue with the kissing
>'and she said you told her that you love me. is that true, anon?'
>we started kissing again, she somehow managed to be even better this time
>i started taking off her dress while still kissing with her. she helped me with it
>then she took off my shirt and pinned me down to the bed, her hands were pressing on my chest
>she looked gorgeous with only her black underwear left
>she started kissing me while sitting on my dick. i was still wearing my trousers of course
>i tried to take off her bra, but failed. she did this pretty fast, though
>we were both turned on at this point
>i made her lay on the bed again, started kissing her whole body and playing with her tits
>she arched her back, while breathing loudly
>'why are you still wearing clothes, anon?,' she asked, smiling
>i swiftly took off my trousers and pants, then i wanted to take off her panties, but she was faster than me
>i embraced her naked body, kissing her again
>she gently moved my head down to her pussy. i could still hear her breathing
>i started licking her of course, tried to do this the best i could
>'higher, anon, just a little higher,' she said and i listened
>just like with Lisa, i started fingering her, too
>'yes, anon'
>i kept doing it
>'yees, yees, anon'
>still doing it
>she just started moaning very loudly, i didn't want to stop, her reaction was turning me on pretty badly
>'Zoey, is everything all right?'
Yes. Yes it is.
Yes but then you lose all sense of depth and storytelling
Anon you are slowest typer ever Inb4 pasta
>it was her mom, fortunately she didn't enter the room
>'y-yeah, mom, we're just joking'
>she didn't respond
>i looked at Zoey and we both started laughing
>then we started kissing, lying on the bed again
>'we'll have to do this quietly, anon,' she said, smiling
>'we can try,' i answered her, moving her body just in the right position to fuck her
>she was sitting on the bed with her legs open and her pussy ready. i stood up and put my dick in her
>she smiled with delight, i started fucking her
>'you should've used a condom'
>i didn't say anything, just kept fucking her
>she looked on the door, then started moaning quietly
>i started breathing pretty loudly because i was getting exhausted
>one time she moaned a little too loud and immediately covered her mouth, laughing
>i bent down and started to play with her tits while still fucking her. i was getting close to cumming
>'you can't finish inside me, anon,' she said, trying to overcome the pleasure she evidently felt
>it was too late, though. i came in her and then i pulled my dick off, cumming on her belly, too
>'you just did, didn't you?,' she looked at me and then put her head on the bed. she started laughing again
>i lied down on the bed next to her, she started rubbing the cum on her belly with her hands
>she was still smiling, then she looked at me and we kissed again
>'i love you, anon'
>'i love you too, Zoey'
>i was completely exhausted
>'i want to sleep with you, anon'
>'we just did'
>'i mean for the rest of the night. i want you to stay with me'
>'yeah, me too'
>after that we didn't talk, we just lied down on the bed together, embracing each other
>after some time she looked at me and smiled. and yes, this time i was completely sure: that smile was intended for me

Ask me anything.
most of time you spend at fucking home! Wtf is wrong with you?
yeah, not reading that shit either. Haha Loser!
So did you suck her dick?
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First of all, if not pasta: very cool story.
Are you still with her?
She doesn't have one. I would if she had, though.
Not anymore.

>First of all, if not pasta: very cool story.

>Are you still with her?
Could you post pics of one of the girls?
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How often do you still Fuck her friend

don't say you don't . Only a stupid faggot wouldnt

You must be a extreme Femanist
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nexttime say that you must first masturbait because its to dangerous to walk with ammo in your gun
So you were a faggot who play starcraft then go to the party and make your first (and little drunk) girl cum, then you go out with other girl then fuck her friend to get her back.

It take me more than month (after we start sex part) to learn my gf body good enough to make her cum so if it's true then good for you op.
Unfortunately not, sorry. If someone find out I told you this I'd be fucked.

We fucked few times after that only because she insisted.
She is a crazy bitch and I don't want to have any relations with her.

Dayum you dodged some bullets and came out a champ hahaha
how old are you OP?
Thanks, but she was more than a little drunk if that changes anything.

read slower..
ITT: stale pasta
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I've got one.

How many more fucking are you going to post this here you nigger
Did you just say it takes you a month of training to make a girl cum? wow, you cant be very good in bed. i have never experienced sex without the girl im With not cumming. mostly cause i set that as a goal whenever i have sex With someone.
I recommend telling Zoey about Alex, I had exactly your problem (although I fucked her best mate when the relationship was a little dodgy- we got back together tho) and girls NEVER keep a secret like that.

Better for Zoey to choose you over Alex so tell her than risking Zoey finding out from her.

Make sure you have some messages to show too. Hopefully Alex has been sending blackmail.
Same, bro. Making a chick cum is super easy.
I thought about that but Zoey's only weakness is her friendship with this bitch. I'm not sure what would she do and I don't want to risk losing her.
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Welp, you'll probably have to keep fucking Alex then to make sure she doesn't tell.
Where you from OP?
not even dating the girl, she knew it you knew it, yet youre a cheater,
bait of the highest order
not even mad
yeah barely even into 1st outing together but somehow cheater?
Fortunately she seems to be getting bored of me lately.

Can't tell.

I told you she's crazy.
r8 alex?
When are you going to fucking finish the Winds of Winter you wiener-loving murderer?
> see crush at party
> one day later
> omg you're cheating on her!
What the fuck kind of junior high bullshit is that?
> with crush who has never spoken to me
> have sex
> say I love you to each other
What the fuck, where are you from and what time period did this take place in? Where I'm from, it's not cheating unless you're officially together and you don't say I love you to someone you've just met. OP's girl must be fat weeaboo with terrible acne and probably has daddy issues.
6/10 but I'll admit that I may be a little biased.
She has a lot of admirers.

I don't know if that's supposed to be praise or criticism.
Being this fucking new. Let me help you here, "Heaven" is not a person. Also, no board on 4chan appreciates emotes, so don't do it.
not again...
you fucking retarded or something?
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> newfag calling people newfags
I've seen her live you twat. Most beautiful girl on /B/ so go fuck yourself you dumb shit
Why bother posting this shit? Go fuck your mother.
Why post at all? Go get a life.
fucking kek
Right. Totally.
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Pasta getting cold.
This shit again?

> not recognizing this pasta
Dammit summer's almost over
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