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Make me cry, /b/. I haven't felt anything in a long time,

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 164
Thread images: 34

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Make me cry, /b/.
I haven't felt anything in a long time, I just want to make sure I can.
So I guess this is also just a genera feels/baww thread.
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I shouldn't have bothered...
>>
>>563044958
Wait op I'm typing a story
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p1z2D-A4iY

eat shit and die
>>
>>563043809
>>563044958
Baww music

https://soundcloud.com/flawlessleauge/viva-far-from-my-city-cold-at-home
>>
>>563045853
I was already planning on the latter
>>
>>563043809
Ok here is a personal story that makes me tear up every time I think back on it.

>be 19 and a huge beta
>have huge crush on a 8/10 girl with a 1 year old daughter
>girl is always getting her heart broken by "bad boys" and guys that just treat her like absolute shit
>after getting pretty close to both girl and daughter I ask her if she would go out with me
>"Sorry anon I only see you as a friend. Oh and can you watch the kid tonight I have a date tonight"
>feel crushed but shrug it off and watch the kid

Skip ahead 3 years

>be 22
>the kid calls me daddy now and loves me like a father
>i love her like a daughter
>have been watching the kid almost every day for about 2 years now
>my crush shows up all pissed off
>turns out she got married to some drug dealer and is coming to get the kid
>"NOOOOO I WANT TO STAY WITH DADDY! I DO"T WANT TO GO!"
>"No honey you have a new daddy now. We don't need this sack of shit any more"
>I contest saying that she shouldn't be in her care since I have been raising her for about 2 years now
>She flips her lid and breaks half the stuff in my house while cussing me out
>I watch in tears as I watch the kid I have raised for 2 years get carried off screaming for me
>the closest thing to a daughter is stripped from me and I'm too much of a beta to do anything about it legally
>I can still see my "daughter's" face and hear her cries to this day
>try to commit suicide but chicken out
>>
>took a shit
>hurt my ass hole
tfw when hurts to much for anal sex tonight :(
>>
>>563047117
shit man, that's pretty fucked up.
>>
>>563047973
Yeah my life has not been a happy one. That is one of the many "fucked up" events of my life so far.
>>
>>563047973
If you want to hear more i'll tell you the story.
>>
>>563048676
I'd love to
>>
>>563048676
Please tell us Anon.
>>
>be op
>>
>>563047117
Shit man...
>>
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God mode on
>>
>>563047117
Sounds like she got into drugs if she started acting that violent. Should have gotten social services involved and adopt her.

Here OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNK6h1dfy2o
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>>563047117
god damn

i wouldn't want to live after that either
>>
>>563048676
please do
>>
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>tfw the only reason you haven't killed yourself is because you're more afraid of death than you are of your future

It's gotta be nice to believe in an afterlife
>>
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>>563043809
>>
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>>563043809
Back in 2011 I was going through some old VCR tapes my parents had from the 80s and found this movie called "Your Cheatin' Heart". It's about Hank Williams, a gifted country singer from way back in the day. I'm not really a big fan of country music but this song he sang near the end of the movie is fucking so sad. I can't tell you how depressed I've felt listening to it. I actually DON'T listen to this song, especially when drinking or my whole mood turns gray and dark. Oh by the way Hank Williams was killed on his way to a concert on some highway right after he sings it in the movie. Really did die in real life too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTI38-t_jCk

Some other bawws
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Snl67XsI6Is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnlkSqcEJb8
>>
>>563049430
RIP in peace Heavy
>>
>>563048980
>>563048997
Alright here goes a short version of one that happened not that long before my previous tale

>be 13 on first day of the school year
>puberty sucks
>have no friends
>meet a 8/10 qt3.14 redhead
>notice she is different from the others
>her eye color was red. Like blood red.
>holy shit she makes eye contact with me
>she comes over and sits down next to me
>"Hi anon my name is Marie. Whats yours?"
>immediately hit things off
>5 years go by and Marie is now my girlfriend
>marie is constantly getting made fun of and teased because of the Twilight sagas bloom.
>her parents treat her like an exhibit at the museum
>she really lets it get to her
>Her mood really starts to go down hill
>Text her one day and she doesn't answer
>I immediatly get a bad feeling and go to her house
>Her parents are in the livingroom sobbing
>ask whats wrong and they hand me a piece of paper
>its a suicide note
>I cry like a bitch for the rest of the night

I know she didn't have many friends and people treated her like shit. But I thought I was enough to keep her happy. But apparently i wasn't enough. I was never enough.
>>
>>563049898
Yeah she got into alcohol and adderol. She didn't really act violent. SHe just one day decided to fuck me over because I outlived my usefulness.
>>
I fucking love her so much and she loves me, but we can't be together because of many reasons.
Now she's fucking a guy (who is an absolute piece of shit) who used to be my close friend.
I just want her to be with someone good. Someone who's going to be there for her.

I'm sick of crying, /b/
>>
>>563052050
I know the feel bro. I know the feel.
>>
>>563047117
>>563049430
>>563050223
>>563050950
>>563050957
>>563051276
still nothing, I'm just kinda sad, mostly because of that last one, I had a friend like that once. I've been alone ever since she killed herself, I've been thinking of doing the same thing.
>>
>>563052220
I miss cuddling with her, man.
>>
>>563052670
what is it like to love somebody?
>>
>>563052257
Well I don't have any more stories left of that caliber. Mostly just me getting bullied and fucked over. Also have you seen the movie Bridge to Teribithia? That always makes me cry.

>>563052670
Again bro, I'm with you. miss holding Marie every night while watching old cartoons and sht.
>>
>>563053195
There are no words to describe it really. You feel like you've finally found your place. You feel like you don't have any worries. You feel like as long as you have her nothing can stop you. You feel like you belong. At least thats what I felt.
>>
>>563053195
Constant and never-ending happiness. Never be afraid of loving someone, but afraid of leaving them. Because it doesn't matter how much they hate you, you'll still love them, and will have to live with that for the rest of your life.

Moving on doesn't exist, coping does. You put them away in your mind, but they're still there. You notice them in almost everything, you notice their smile in your dreams, you miss having someone. Everything you do reminds you of them.

But you will get better at coping with it. Trust me on that /b/ro. So don't be scared, if you want to make her yours, do it.
>>
>>563053195
In my experience; nothing else matters but her, the world could crumble to pieces, but if she's by my side, I would sleep like a fucking baby.
>>
>>563053195
It's the worst thing ever happened to me.

Man, I need someone to talk. I can't talk to my friends because it only makes my feelings worse.
>>
>>563054437
You can always talk to me anon.
>>
>>563054437
>>563054770
we're all here for ya, that's what feel threads are for
>>
I let her get away. I still love her.
One night we drank at the same party together and crashed together for the night.
Just being able to hold her close while we were both so comfortable and cozy was amazing..
But it meant nothing. I need to remember that it meant nothing.
>>
>>
>>563054090
>>563053779
is this what people are talking about when they say "it will get better" ?
all I know is that it never has.
Love sounds like pure bliss
>>
>>563054770
>>563054918
I love you guys.

I'm so jealous of people who had the courage to commit suicide. If I wasn't afraid, I'd probably do it.
>>
>>563055385
You sound like you are in love with someone. And yes. Its is pure bliss. There are times when being in love and in a relationship is troublesome, but man when it does come around... Its the closest thing to heaven you can get.

>>563055407
Don't be. Don't ever be. those who quit early are weak and cowards. Those who live on after tragedy strike are stronger than most people ever will be.
>>
>>563043809
im 26 and still taking shit from people because i dont speak up.

one time i did. i spoke up and felt the adrenaline pumping. The fucker didnt hestitate to call me out. So i pushed him and threw punches and fought. I lost.

I think im going to snap again sometime soon. I'll fight back and lose.

Reality is a bitch, there is no justice. There is no true equality.
>>
>>563053195

>Be a kid.
>Be told you are going to Disney Land.
>Really go to the Dentist.

That's what love is like.
>>
it isn't worth it op I did it a while back and after 30 seconds I was back to normal
>>
>>563056002
I am weak.
Life feels like my kindergarten years to me. All the other kids played and had fun except me. I just stood there by the window, watching outside, waiting for it to end. Every single day.
Thought of being succesful and achieving things at life does not make me want to live. I don't have any motive to live.
Sorry for being an emo faggot guys, this is just how I feel and I wanted to be honest.
>>
Would someone please make this into a bawww picture, preferably with someone about to kill themselves

"Everyone who comes into my life ends up leaving my life
this time ill just leave"
>>
>2014 bc
> not building a wall to stop you from falling in love
Ive been rejected by 4 loves 2 of which i had known for 5 years and one of them was perfection, i don't see the point in getting hurt a 5th time.
>>
>>563056002
I wouldn't be so quick to judge, I've attempted it before just so I wouldn't hurt anybody anymore
>>
>>563055385

>>563055407
No you're not /b/ro, that's nothing to be jealous of. You can downgrade yourself all you like, tell me how useless you are, but the thing is, I won't believe it. Everyone has potential. That includes you. So what if you work a shit-pay long-hour job, or if you're unemployed and overweight. Start doing something for YOU. Put on a smile every morning, even if it's a fake one, tell the world to go fuck itself.

Pick up that cheap $5 programming tutorial book, actually read it.
Stop putting things off, delaying is one of the worst habits to form, and even worse to get rid of.
Go to the gym, get ripped. Hell, go to the gym and socialise. But /b/ro. Don't give up. Don't be jealous of people who threw away their potential. Because in the end, you're strong than them, and you always will be. The "scariness" in suicide is what makes you strong, knowing that it's the wrong choice, knowing that once it's done, you're out.

Tap into your potential /b/ro. Show the world what you've got, what you can be.
>>
I'm so tired of being lonely.
After being in a relationship for so long love becomes the one hole in my sanity.
It sounds a bit much, but it feels too real..
>>
Stripper's tits smell too good to commit suicide.
>>
>>563056085
Tell me that was capped.
the feels.
>>
Tried to fuck at 19 year old when I'm 25. She didn't put out. Brother who is 40 got a piece. Now I'm in a band with both of them playing the keyboard. I feel awkward as fuck and I haven't gotten laid in two years and I've never had good sex in my life. Meanwhile I can't stop feeling like shit because they crop me out of band photos and even the sound guy tried to fuck me over by turning my input down and when I told him to turn it up, he did obnoxiously. I think they're too nice to tell me they don't need keyboards in a rock band. Meanwhile I'm sending my own music to indie labels and college radio stations with no reply.
Yesterday I went to twin peaks by myself because I want to take steps in not living a life of shit and get comfortable.

Im trying to not give a fuck but i just cant deal.

brother left to go practice without me and
i wasnt ivited to the house party.
fuck this shit.

i was always the weird guy. even if im doing nothing.
>>
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>>563043809
>play Katawa Shoujo
>cry, maybe
you're welcome.
>>
>>563056590
I'm glad you're honest. After all the shit thats happened in my life I felt the same way. Still do to a degree. You're only as weak as you let yourself be.

>>563056646
Loving someone or attempting suicide?
>>
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>i had a girfriend when i was 15
>i was with her only a month
>can't stop thinking about her
>she dumped me because i was beta these days
>19 right now
>being alpha since 17
>never kissed her
>my first kiss was on some punk gig with 2 drunk girls
>she's still checking out my lastfm profile so i'm putting there some alpha and some baww quotes
>i could have any girl i want now, but i'm so fucking scared of not having her anymore
>wanted to an hero after break up
>i'm thick as fuck, yet the rope breaks
>i'm happy in 90% now
>10% missing is her
>mfw i will never be full happyu
>>
>>563057293
will do, I've been needing a new game
>>
>>563056590
This is where I tell you the truth. No-one has motive. No-one has drive. We're all made up of potential, and we can focus this potential into virtually anything. You're not weak, you're confused. Fuck what everyone else is doing, do what you want to do, use that potential.

Anyone who claims they're "motivated" or "on the course to achieving great things" is probably about as confused and scared as you. But you know what they're doing? They're putting on a mask, a mask that keeps their appearance strong, their appearance confident and with that, they gradually start to feel better.

We live on lies, but they make us feel better.

You can do the exact same thing, wake up in the morning and tell everyone to go fuck themselves, tell everyone you're going to be the happiest motherfucker of all time. And you know what? In the end you will be.
>>
>>563057370
suicide, alcohol poisoning to be specific
>>
>>563057239
>Take a poop in the bass drum.
>Tell the bitch she has one last chance to fuck(if she does, don't talk to her after anyways)
>Leave band.
>Get a job as an Air Traffic Controlmen.(Good ass pay without needing a degree)
>>
>>563057936
thankyou anon. elton john and liberace fucking ruined piano and i wish someone would come along and so the same for guitar. i get shit just for playing the keyboard, everyone here is just rock music same shit.

im almost done with my systems analyist certificate. but i have no idea where im going.
>>
>>563056708
The thing is, I don't have any financial or social problems. I'm an artist and I'm studying animation. I don't see myself useless. But the thought of success does not make me want to live.

There is this feel inside of me. It makes me hate every second of my life. I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
>>
>>563057931
Pro-tip /b/ro. I've seen the replies you've deleted on this thread. You know what emotions are like, you know there's more to life. Get out there, change yourself.

I'm not going to beg you NOT to suicide, I'm just going to say it as simple as it is.

If you end your life, you'll only cause grief and tragedy and if that's what you want, you can go fuck yourself. Suicide is giving up, suicide is idiotic.

Ever heard the term "Survival of the fittest"? You're alive because of that principle. Somehow, unbeknownst to yourself, you were able to survive. You survived your first decade or so, and they're the most difficult. If you want to stand out, stay alive, survive.
>>
>>563057239
I re-joined a mediocre rock band with former members from a decade ago in my former spot (lead guitar), then said one day at practice:
>the singer's vocal effects pedal was set wrong (massive detune), and to just 'try hitting the bypass on one song to tell the difference'
>the guitar player (my distant cousin)'s scooped-mid sound won't cut through the bass and the cymbals, and that's why he kept having to turn up his amp

They then replaced me and left me to discover this via an accidental facebook post. Pretty pathetic, huh?

Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed and decided I would just "do everything by myself ", and started making house/EDM music because I liked listening to it anyway.

Just get a buddy to play whatever instruments you don't, mic some shit up, and go for it!
>>
>>563058851
The thought of success doesn't make anyone want to live. What on Gods green Earth made you think that makes anyone want to live. You shouldn't be living for success, or the thought of it. Live for life's experiences. Live for the chance to be making enough money to buy all the god damn vidya you want, to buy all the god damn 4chan passes you want.
>>
>>563059246
Almost forgot, the drummer was the only one with the balls to say anything. "They were bitching to each other that you were being cocky, and that nothing's wrong with their sound".

I lol'ed when they imploded a month or two later.
>>
>>563058851
Get a pet. Feeling relied on and knowing that this creature needs you to live is a pretty good feel. Also unconditional love from dogs.
>>
>>563058851
>>563057370
I gotta run now. Anon, OP, I hope you guys are able to carry on knowing that this anon is always rooting for you. Just remember not everyone in the world is against you.
>>
>>563056646
>>563059603
Fuck mixed up the links.
>>
>>563058947
the only reason I'm not dead right now is because i know how much it would hurt the people around me, trust me I've been on the receiving end of this, it's not fun. I know I have emotion, I just need to let it out.
>>
>>563057770
>game
I've got some bad news for you
>>
>>563059603
thanks man, hopefully we'll meet again
>>
>>563059886
Yeah, it's more or less a "choose your own adventure" book, but had some powerful moments.
>>
>>563059452
Well, yeah. Maybe someday I'll have friends that I love and have fun with them.

And then, I can enjoy life.

To be honest, the only thing makes life bearable for me is weed, good movies and video games. Maybe those things are my reasons to live, I don't know.
>>
>>563060119
still, it's something to use my time on
>>
>>563059583
I had a cat which I REALLY loved but i moved to Canada so she's not here rigt now.
>>
>>563059856
Anon, here's the honest truth. I'm rooting for you, I'm expecting to see a follow-up thread in 6 months telling me how sucessful you are, how your life has gotten better.

But if you pussied out, I want to know your name & the state you live in so I can come shit in your casket and stomp on your testicles for being ultimate beta and actually going through with suicide.
>>
>>563059603
Love you anon!
>>
>>563060247
Yeah, well thankfully there's a lot of cool things you can find to waste time with on the internet.
>>
Also someone needs to screencap this whole fucking thread as proof /b/ can be supportive and not always cruel. I'm out. Peace.
>>
>>563060378
I wouldn't count on the success part, I but I do plan on living
>>
This song makes me sad sometimes..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yERFv6LxzHQ
>>
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>>563043809
This is a message my girlfriend sent me on January 2nd 2013.
The translation is:
I love you! You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, i'm really happy with you. you're my whole world, you're my everything.
Thank you for being part of my life, I love you! And i want you to be certain, as i told you, i know it's not going to be soon, but i don't want you to regret it later.

She made me feel like shit today without even trying to do so.
Everytime i look at this message i cry uncontrollably, because she was happy with me once, and I was happy with her.
>>
>>563060908
You're a lucky man, anon. Don't ever let her go.
>>
>>563061084
She wanted to break up with me like 4 or 5 times, but we always ended up together.
I love her so much, you have no idea, but i'm feeling like shit right now because of some things she said to me.
I think she's not that happy with me anymore.
>>
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Join us fellow feelanons. The feels don't have to stop when the thread does.
>>
>>563060831
my own shit makes me sad all the time. I've never really figured out how to feel about it either.

(low quality clip)
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0GnQYsKXOBy
>>
>>563052257
I served in the us marines for a few years, and went to Iraq and Afghanistan twice, u saw some pretty fucked up shit, wanna know about that
>>
>>563061809
sure
>>
>be me 8 months ago
>find lump on testicle, do nothing about it because no insurance
>3 months ago
>finally get insurance and go see doctor
>lump has become mass
>confirmed for testicular cancer
>Radical Orchiectomy 3 days ago
>On the operating table doctor notices lump on my abdomen
>whyme.jpg

so basically, im probably getting more surgery and chemotherapy and life sucks at the moment due to the fact i can't really do anything but sit at home for the next 3 weeks. gg life, gg.
>>
>>563061472
Here's what you do: stop being insecure

Just be yourself again. I noticed myself changing slowly and I felt like I couldn't do anything about it. But then we broke up and I was a wreck. Just let her know you have more going on in your life other than her. She won't want to be the holy grail to your life after so long. It gets to be too much for some people, especially people with insecurities
>>
>>563062184
I'm rooting for you man. Kick cancers ass.
>>
>>563062441
Thanks mang, i will
>>
>>563062184
kick cancer in the balls
>>
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>>563062184
>>
im in love with my stepsister
and ive lied about my entire life to everyone, which i regret to this day

i always think how different everything would have gone if i never lied about anything. everybodys view on me would be completely different, i wouldnt act like such an awkward kid meeting new people since i have to act like im alpha... when im not.

for the past few years ive been trying to think of a way to move somewhere secluded and get a new start, but i feel like even if i do, the past still sticks and i'll fuck up where ever i go.

this world is not for me and im not fit for it. but i digress
>>
My turn to bounce. You all have this anon's support. Failing is for Reddit, /b/ros always win.
>>
>>563062184
Good luck, man
>>
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>>563050950
just shed a tear
>>
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>>563063489
what dis boy said, right hurr.
>>
>>563043809
Join our feel tinychat started in another thread tinychat o5m1de
>>
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>be in high school
>prom coming up
>fuckineedadate
>during passing period I see a qt 3.14
>see her a lot but never talked to her
>walk up to her
>"hey"
>she looks at me and dear lord she was beautiful
>"I know we don't really know each other but wanna go to prom with me?"
>she blushes and just shakes her head up and down
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpeg
>walk her to class
>we hug
>most warmhearted hug I've ever felt
>tell her if I can text her
>get them digits
>we part ways for the day
>that night I decide to text her
>thunderstorm is happening
>get to know her she's into all this cool Japanese shows and plays a lot of video games
>damn she's cute
>suddenly the lights shut off
>hear a loud scream outside
>run outside
>it stopped raining
>I'm approached by a fat version of rick owens riding a floating leather
>"Quick! There's no time to explain! HOP ON!"
>dafuq
>hear david guetta I can only imagine featuring chris brown and lil Wayne beat drop playing from afar
>music getting louder
>get on the leather
>fly away

CONTINUE?
>>
>>563064510
please dont
>>
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TFW when forever only means until i get tired of you.
>>
at least you guys have an excuse for not having a gf

at least you have the privilege of have the dream of 'maybe one day if i become successful, finish school, start to talk to people, build up a social circle, or any other number of things, i can have a gf'.

>kill me pls
>>
>>563066370
that one got me.

>pic related
Behold the monster who ripped my heart out.
>>
>>563043809
>>
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Hey suicidal anons, don't do it. I think the pic sums up the way i feel about suicide. When i was 19 after high school i took the advice of this to heart and went on a highhiking trip across the US not caring if i lived or died. Made me not suicidal and showed me how crazy cool the world can be. Now i'm back to being a lonely neckbeard who browses /b/ after his long time GF left him so who knows.
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMYrKTU8Hmc
>>
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>>563067383
This one got me too.
>>
>>563060908
Also this pic is from the time we lived in the same city.
Fuck
>>
>>563067967
i'm not suicidal, but that pic is retarded:

sure, great, the world is your oyster.

suicidal people don't even care about their own lives, much less the world. they don't derive enjoyment from doing those awesome things, because they reached a point in their lives they stopped caring.

fuck, i can afford to do crazy shit, and i can do it in safe conditions, and even that began to become boring without a gf.
>>
>>563068135
I get that bro. When we were together i felt like i could do anything, be anything. She was my everything for a while until we ended up needing to do long distance. We broke up a few months later after that because she never had time for me after going back to school. Feels really fucking shitty man.
>>
>>563068493
The point of that isn't to say you could do anything. It is to say what is the harm in trying. If you're suicidal just go out in the world and see what will happen. It isn't like there are any consequences if you don't care about your own life. Sort of like a what if it works sort of thing. Worked for me mang.
>>
>>563068868
No I mean that most suicidal people I know don't care enough to try. As in - doing that takes willpower, which most suicial people lack.

and tbh, it's not like my efforts got me any closer to getting a girlfriend either, so i guess they're kind of right.
>>
>>563068073
This is relative to my interests.
>>
>>563047117
man i'm totally with you i got kind of the same situation...

i was in a relationship with a girl and she got a 3months old boy from a one night stand...
that kid looked like me blond blue eyes everything even mit mother said he looks like your son...
after 2,5years we broke up because she was kind of crazy i waa eveeyday with her but she jealous about everything...we were on vacation with that kid... i made him do his first steps..got him in my arms every night he was crying...i feed him...his first words were "kaka"....which meant papa :*( ....
and the as i said after 2,5years we broke up and thats it..i got no legal rights and i've never seen him after it again the only thing i know is she is partying all the time and the boy is at the grandmas house etc...
that broke my heart, i mean really..that was like my son....its 2years this month and i can't even think about it...my whole relationship to women is fucked up..
i would have tried to kill myself but i am more the guy who drifts away with drugs and...i recovered i fuck bitches again and everything but on the inside my whole thing with women or the thought of a relationship are done...
sry guys english is not my native and to explain this story whhhooooo.... i hope you got it..

oh and...don't kill yourself /bro you were the good part you've done much more than many other guys or even fathers..its not your fault I KNOW THAT
>>
>>563068536
We've managed somehow to see each other every other month, it's been almost one year since she moved.
Actually it's exactly one year since she moved.
We almost broke up one time, and it was me who wanted to end it, and fuck it, i'm gonna greentext it:
>be me
>ldr with my gf of almost 3 years
>she moves on august 16th 2013
>fast forward one month
>she finds a job at a call center
>she's too kind to everyone but me
>there's this guy at her job
>gives her rides to the nearest metro station after job
>someday the guy kisses her
>she told me she pushed him away
>went to the bathroom and cried thinking about what i was gonna say
>her friends comfort her, told her if i loved her i would understand
>tells me everything
>I understand, it wasn't her fault, she pushed him away
>fast forward to november
>two year anniversary is coming
>i had been doing this notebook with all the good moments we've shared
>need some pics from her last birthday
>exactly on November 11th 2012 i ask her for her fb password to look through her photos and grab some
>look through photos
>conversation pops up
>it's the guy who kissed her
cont
>>
I've had my life turned upside down and inside out in the last few months. A very, very close friend of mine has recently taken advantage of my phsycological issues and fear of men and raped me, ill call him _____ for the duration of this. Whats worse, is that i havent told anybody except my online friend.

This happened about three months ago, but it didnt stop there.

He's made repeated attacks on me, i cant go to the police because of family law issues that would get me disowned from the family if i called law inforcement and ______'s father is a the boss of the police force down here, i wouldnt get taken seriously anyway

I'm only 5"1 and ____'s proven time and time again that he can lift me and hold me still and he attacked me again two days ago, im staying at a friends place using a bullshit excuse. Im suicidal now and all i want to do is end it. I had a shower with boiling hot water to the point where almost my entire body is blistered now because i feel so disgusting. My online friend is eight years older than me, ive known him for four years and spoken to him every day for as long as i can remember and im usually talking to him all day long. He's offered to take me over to where he lives to get me away from all this. I desperately, desperately want to go. But neither of us have the money for a plane ticket.

My life has gotten to the point where im too scared to go anywhere on my own and i cant sit down because of his last attack. I have bruises all over me and i havent slept properly in over two days and i havent eaten in three. I know all of this is pathetic and theres probably a million things i could do to help myself. I've already got a suicide letter written, but the only thing thats keeping me here is my online friend. The thought of him finding out im dead breaks my heart and i cant stand the idea of hurting him. I just dont know what to do
>>
>>563069952
oh shit man :(
>>
>>563069781
me again..just wanted to say i meet that girl as the boy was 3months old trough a friend..she did the whole pregnancy alone before and ..just for the record..
>>
>>563070092
dont do it, go to the tinychat linked in this thread and talk to me about this please.
>>
>>563061554
you banned me even though i didn't pick my username and never said anything
>>
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>>563053415
goddamn that movie
>>
>>563070250
I just entered
>>
>>563069952
I should have mentioned, she always compared me to this guy, because he has a long distance relationship too.
>close conversation and look through pictures
>conversation pops up again
>she's whining about me
>tells him i waste too much of her time
>tells him i'm annoying to her
>tells him i'm a whiny little bitch
>he says if he can ask something to her
>gf says sure
>can i invite you to starbucks, we can have a coffee and continue the chat there
>gf accepts
After she told me about the kiss, she told me she was embarrassed, that she will boil her lips and put chlorine on them.
>i get cold, like dead cold
>still reading the conversation
>gf tells him "it's nice to have someone to talk to"
I've never felt so shitty, until now.
>so many ideas run through my mind
>grab phone
>call gf
>"Hey, can we talk?"
>she notices my tone
>"Sure"
>entire conversation is deleted
cont
>>
DONT YOU DARE DIE ON ME THREAD
>>
>>563069307
Sometimes you just have to get up and fucking do it. It is like when you are on hiking and in the middle of the trail. It doesn't matter how fucking tired you are or how much you want to not have to walk back down the mountain. You just have two choices.
a) get off your ass and go down the mountain
b) die on the mountain

Same way with depression. That shit won't go away if you keep doing what you're doing. You become depressed because of the shit that you're doing so why would you think it would go away if you keep doing what you're doing. You gotta fucking change it up. Go to the gym, go outside to a bar, talk to stangers, maybe meet some people. That is how that shit goes away. Not by being a fag on 4chan and doing the same fucking shit. No matter how comfortable it is to do it you gotta get out and go down the fucking mountain.
>>
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>>
>>563070832
>tell her i watched the convo
>i'm fucking furious
>tell her what would happened if i'd call her while she was with this faggot
>she tells me she's really sorry
>she would block him from facebook
>erase his number
>delete him from whatsapp, etc
>tell her she can't erase him from her life
>i really want to end this shit
>says she's sorry again
>i fucking love her to death, so i decide to continue
>she didn't block him, erased his number or anything she said she'd do
>fast forward nov 23rd 2013
>we're both watching Doctor Who's 50th anniversary episode
>she gets a call from that dude
>then she gets a text from that dude
>i'm fucking pissed
>she tells me she's sorry
>"i'm gonna get another number, anon, so he won't be able to call me"
>i wanted to end it all again
>she cries
>i cry
>end up forgiving her
That faggot took the most important thing for me.
He took my confidence, he took my relationship.
That faggot took everything from me, and he doesn't know.
To this day I can't stop feeling insecure because of that.
Feels fucking terrible
>>
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>>563071775
I know that feel anon
>>
>>563071775
Sorry man, that same shit happened to me. She got close to someone else and wasn't talking to me. She was closer to him than to me and we broke up. I get you man, i really do. It is the shittiest feeling in the world. Like being punched in the gut but it doesn't get better. It just keeps happening whenever something reminds you of her which is fucking everything since she meant everything to you and you did everything together. I might greentext it at some point, it is a fucked up and crazy story but tonight is not the night.
>>
>be me as kid
>mom gets us two dogs
>our first dogs
>tater and tot
>lab puppies
>love tater with everything in my being
>one day im playing with him outside in the backyard
>just us too having the time of our life
>want to play hide-and-seek
>hide him in a small cooler that was next to our storage cabin
>start counting
>1
>2
>3
>4
>mom "time to eat!"
>dang
>go inside to eat
>forget about tater
>take bath
>go to bed
>next morning i wake up and while in the kitchen i remember tater
>"OH YEAH!"
>rush outside
>open cooler
>tater is lying down completely still
>"tater"
>i pick him up
>he is so small but feels heavy in my hands
>"tater, whats wrong"
>start sobbing up
>run inside with tater in my arms
>meet mom in the kitchen
>full blown tears now
>mom "what wrong?"
>"whats wrong with tater mommy?"
>she takes him
>"oh..."
>she pulls me close and i hug her leg
>tells me a bit later that he died
>tfw i knew he wasnt waking up, even at 6
>tfw him dying reminded me of my sister dying a year earlier
>>
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>>563072075
Why does she has to be like that, anon?
I love her with all my heart and I'm still getting shit from her.
She tells me she loves me, but I don't believe her anymore, I've been looking at that image I posted the whole night, and everytime I see it, I cry.
>>
>>563071584
>Same way with depression. That shit won't go away if you keep doing what you're doing. You become depressed because of the shit that you're doing so why would you think it would go away if you keep doing what you're doing. You gotta fucking change it up. Go to the gym, go outside to a bar, talk to stangers, maybe meet some people. That is how that shit goes away. Not by being a fag on 4chan and doing the same fucking shit. No matter how comfortable it is to do it you gotta get out and go down the fucking mountain.

okay,

let's put it this way, i'm depressed because i can't get a gf.

the last crush i had decided to play my emotions for her own financial gains, and it fucked me up.

i started my own business from then, i improved my educational life, i built up a bigger social circle, i traveled more, i went and bought a yacht and took friends out fishing, i even started going to the gym occasionally.

but i'm still depressed, because none of those things have helped me in the least bit to get a gf. the initial problem is still present, and i can try my best to cover it up, but it's still there.
>>
>>563071775
In my honest opinion, you really should break it off with her. She's just a poison to you, and it should be starting to become obvious that she really isn't going to drop the other guy. Once you break up with her, it might suck for a little bit, but you'll get over it. It's a lot easier to live looking for someone new to meet, always being able to think of the new futures you can create for yourself than to stay with this one woman that keeps telling you she'll stop talking to some guy that you all know is getting too close to, and always having the thought in the back of your head, that "Maybe today is the day she finally gives in.."

Don't force yourself to live like that. You obviously care a lot more about her feelings than she cares about yours. She doesn't deserve you, man, and you don't deserve to be treated like this.
>>
>>563071775

I know this guy sounds like a major faggot to you, but I've experienced the opposite end of the situation with a seriously amazing girl that I seriously believe could have been the one for me. I was falling for her even though she was in a LDR. In the end, she felt like she was cheating on her boyfriend even though all we did was have a good time together (nothing sexual/intimate).

Ultimately, I made the decision to say good bye to her and haven't talked to her since. I believe that was the right thing to do. Still remember that last convo - it was honestly really fulfilling and had a great feel to it. She had apparently just told her boyfriend about us and he gave me a call telling me essentially to fuck off. I called her to ask what was up - she sounded sad as fuck. We basically talked about staying in touch (in the distant future), that we both really, really loved each other (even if it wasn't necessarily in a romantic way yet), and cared for one another deeply. Then we hung up the phone, that's that.

Guess the guy in your case wasn't as good of a guy as me in the end, but just giving some perspective.
>>
>>563047117
kill yourself, but kill that chick first
>>
>>563072541
Because most Women are lying fucks, I've had my girl lie straight to my face about where she goes, so one day I decided to go down to the local surveillance store and buy a device that tracks her in real time and stick it in her car, turns out she was going right to the fuckers house every god damn day, what a fucking bitch, I threw all of her shit out on the porch and told her to never show her face around here again. [how I got the tracking device back is a different story] Anyways, you have to be vigilant and open eyed when it comes to dealing with Women, most are dishonest and will try to manipulate your feelings and you just can't allow them
>>
>>563073158
i know of exactly one girl who hasn't tried to manipulate anyones' feelings, but she lives on the other side of the planet.

fuck my life.
>>
>>563049430
That's just a shittier version of that other one. What was that kid's name...?
>>
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>>563043809
Here ya go brother
>>
>>563072567
You don't need a GF to be happy, a GF just makes the highs of life high and the lows even lower. Hanging with friends is just as fun. (so i tell myself.) I'm not even sure it is worth it anymore to get a GF after my last relationship but that probably isn't the answer you're looking for.

I would recommend two things. First stop thinking of not having a GF as a problem. Think of a GF as a nice thing to have but not necessary. Then it won't be like covering it up and rather be like, "oh i don't have a GF but that is ok i am still enjoying life."

Second if you really want one go and start looking harder. Go to bars, join shit that girls like like yoga classes. Get on a dating website. Don't think of getting a GF as something that will mystically happen when the time is right. Nothing just falls into place. You want it? you gotta go and get it.

>>563071775
Break it off with her. If you cant trust her after that the trust won't come back and by breaking it up now you are just saving yourself future heartbreak. Take it from someone who was in a similar situation not very long ago.
>>
>>563072635
Well I'm seriously considering it.
After that call, she cut ties with the guy, blocked him on facebook, changed her number, and lost all contact (whatsapp, etc).
I do care about her feelings, I put hers befroe mine, don't know if it's right but I do.

>>563072817
You sound like a good man, anon. This other guy was a complete asshole. Not only he wanted to take my girlfriend from me, but he had his own girlfriend.

The only good thing about all this crap, was me daring my girlfriend to compare me to him again.

The thing is, she's so perfect for me
>>
>>563052050
Fuck man. Feels.
>>
>>563073640
>a GF just makes the highs of life high and the lows even lower
What do you mean?

>Hanging with friends is just as fun.
not so much when all your friends have girlfriends or boyfriends and you have to watch your crush in her guy's arms

>Then it won't be like covering it up and rather be like, "oh i don't have a GF but that is ok i am still enjoying life."
What am I enjoying though?

"yay i can buy material things". material things won't be there to celebrate my successes with me, or to comfort me after a shitty day.

>Second if you really want one go and start looking harder. Go to bars, join shit that girls like like yoga classes. Get on a dating website. Don't think of getting a GF as something that will mystically happen when the time is right. Nothing just falls into place. You want it? you gotta go and get it.
I'm not really for the whole bar scene, but I've tried joining events and stuff.

I met exactly one girl who told me she liked me, with the exception that she lived 5000 miles away from me and chances were that we weren't going to move in with each other any time soon.
>>
>>563073669
Well, what's been on your mind whenever you think of her since then?

>i genuinely believe that she is making her best effort to be honest and loyal with me
kewl, keep her if you can actually be happy with her
>i have any thoughts of what if she's still talking to this guy, or if she might be talking to someone else
Then get rid of her, for your own sake. It's cool and all that you care about her emotions, but honestly you have to start thinking about yourself first. Trust me, I've struggled with the same situations for the same reason. The sooner you start watching out for yourself first, the sooner you can go back to living your life without that annoying voice in your head that always kills your good moods.
>>
>>563053195
I feel like the luckiest guy in the whole freakin world for having what most people search their whole lives for, a perfect woman and just pure love between us. We never argue and I just hope we can spend the rest of our lives with each other.
>>
>>563073640
A good GF is something to live for
>>
>>563074279
>>563074279
>>a GF just makes the highs of life high and the lows even lower
>What do you mean?
What i mean is that when i was in a relationship when it was good it was better than any of the shit that happened without her. It was great. The problem was when we were fighting or when we were not doing great or when we were long distance. Nothing feels as shitty as when you and your SO are fighting. It feels terrible.

Enjoy hanging out with your friends that are not with your crush. Feeling bad seeing your crush in someone else's arms sounds really bad. TBH it seems like the main cause of your unhappiness is that whole crush thing. If you can just avoid her and tell yourself you like other girls/don't like her very much. Being around a crush who is taken is some bad shit, i would try to just not see her at all and avoid her and shit. No sense being around people who make you unhappy.

If you're not into the bar scene keep joining events and shit. Not all of them will work but just try the shotgun approach. See someone you could maybe date, ask em out. You will get rejected a lot but the more you ask the more chances that they are good for you and you all work out. Put yourself out there more. Also try online dating like okcupid or something similar. It could work out for you.
>>
>>563043809
>>
>>563075094
The difference is living for finding the GF and living for the person once you find them. Living in anticipation for future events makes you not live in the now and makes you really unhappy since you keep putting off present things for a future "maybe." That is a bad way to live. Live your life normally and if a GF comes along great. Finding a GF should not be the purpose of your existence.
>>
>>563074410
Well, I know she's loyal to me and she doesn't talk to anybody else the way she talks to me.
I love her, but she's changed so much, she's not that sweet girl I met, she's not that girl that liked same things I liked.

And yeah, thanks for your advice anon, I'll look for myself first.
>>
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>>563062184
ah fuck man.
i hope you get better. pray if you believe in prayer.
>>
>>563075406
I agree. Good advice man, thank you.
>>
>>563075109
Well, having those shitty moments lets you know that you can still feel them, and makes the highs that much better.

>Enjoy hanging out with your friends that are not with your crush. Feeling bad seeing your crush in someone else's arms sounds really bad. TBH it seems like the main cause of your unhappiness is that whole crush thing. If you can just avoid her and tell yourself you like other girls/don't like her very much. Being around a crush who is taken is some bad shit, i would try to just not see her at all and avoid her and shit. No sense being around people who make you unhappy.

I do, and every time it makes me think how awesome it would be if she were here. Even without the whole dating thing, just because she's a fun person to be around.

That guy is going ldr around this time, so it won't happen any more, but knowing she's taken. man.

I like two girls. She's the one that lives locally. The other lives on the other side of the planet from my earlier post.

I mean... even if she's taken being around her makes me happier just because she cheers up the whole situation... I don't know how, but she's really good at it.

>See someone you could maybe date, ask em out. You will get rejected a lot but the more you ask the more chances that they are good for you and you all work out. Put yourself out there more. Also try online dating like okcupid or something similar. It could work out for you.

The one time this worked, it was in a situation where i couldn't have had a relationship anyways.
>>
>>563075623
Anything to help a fellow anon going through tough times. Best of luck man.
>>
>>563075886
Read my first post in this thread, I'm actually in relative bliss right now in terms of my girl. But I appreciate it regardless.
>>
>>563075857
I think everyone gets that feel of liking someone and having them be a fun person to be around. Just take a break from being with her for a while until you stop liking her. Tell yourself that you don't like her, that you won't date her and that you like other girls. Getting over her should make you a lot happier. Trust me, wait until you feel platonically about her and then keep being friends. It will make your friendship a lot stronger and make you happier and easier to look for other people in the long run.

>The one time this worked, it was in a situation where i couldn't have had a relationship anyways.

It might only work a few times but when it does it really works. The shotgun approach doesn't need to work often or frequently it just needs to work sometimes.

>>563076130
Glad to hear you're doing well :)
>>
>>563043809
this'll cheer you up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFSUNHGg9uw&list=UUZCs7ibCYrS5dgGGCbQTisA
>>
>>563073584
Fuck, that broke me.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1DPI3tWAow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoleuGsOLhs

these usually do the trick
Thread posts: 164
Thread images: 34


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