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I need some investigative help. Recently matched up with a

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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Thread images: 47

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I need some investigative help.

Recently matched up with a girl on tinder

http://instagram.com/candiceedavenport

I get her number over the weekend and proceed to do some small talk. Abruptly in the middle of the conversation she just tells me "come over and fuck me and my boyfriend".

Now i've heard of stories of people getting cat fished and this immediately raised a red-flag. For proof I requested some pictures and sent me the thread picture and an extra one I'll post right now.

So i'm just confused as fuck and go with it and get an address from her and look it up and try to cross-reference it with facebook/instagram and this is no where near where she lives.

If anyone is interested I can post the persons address/phone number.
>>
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Here's the second picture she sent me for proof. I asked for a 'thumbs up'
>>
>"come over and fuck me and my boyfriend"

Nope.jpg.
>>
Sounds sketchy as fuck. Just go by the neighborhood and take pics op.
>>
>>562025816
Well the person in question knows what I look like from Tinder so it would be kinda obvious. The real strange thing is according to tinder she's 3 miles away whereas the address she gave me is 6 miles away.

Im not trying to get raped.
>>
>>562024976

Get her on skype and make her have a video chat with you. Do it more than once so you can make sure you get the same female.

That's how I would confirm your suspicions.
>>
and what about snapchat? Bitches love snap chat.
>>
>>562026560
Ok well at this point it's not really an option. I called her for trying to catfish because she was being so urgent with things.

When she said "come over and fuck me and my boyfriend" I replied with "only if you fuck me and my girlfriend first" and her response was "Im serious. If you're not down then don't waste my time". Then after getting her address she said "Fuck my boyfriend then me". So I asked for a picture of her boyfriend and she replied with "I've sent you enough. Just come. You're not a little kid". She proceeded to triple text me asking if I was coming and then I pretty much started calling her for being fake.
>>
>>562026560
Also I googled the phone number she's been texting me from and the first couple of results are for a Colin Moran's instagram.

I'm not sure of the accuracy of looking up instagrams with phone numbers.
>>
Multiple scenarios:

>get some pussy
>have to put your dick inside the boyfriend
>they gonna rob you
>they wanna do something crazy and gift you with some disease because yolo

>>562027154
Yeah, fuck that. Ask for her address and give it to us. She'll think you're at the door but it will be the pizza man
>>
>>562027721
The address she gave me to meet at is 5001 beach blvd buena park ca 99621. Looks like an apartment complex
>>
This is a setup to rob you

You are not talking to some beautiful girl dude. You are never talking to some beautiful girl. Girls like that don't have to use tindr. They have social lives.

Don't be an idiot. At best it's catfishing and at worst a robbery setup
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I KNOW MOST OF YOU PROBABLY ENJOY STAR WARS. WELL, SORRY TO SAY, IT WASN'T LUKE THAT BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR. IT WAS ME AND MY LENGTHY LENGERIE LIGHTSABER. SO I WAS FLYING AROUND IN MY X-WING, SKILLFULLY SHOOTING DOWN ENEMY TIE FIGHTERS, SLOWLY ENGORGING MY VEINY VAGINAL REAPER. EVENTUALLY, MY IMMENSE IMMEASUREABLE INPREGNATOR GREW TOO LARGE TO FIT IN MY SHIP, AND ME AND MY JABBA FLEW OUT INTO SPACE. AS HORNY AS A PEDO AT SWIMMING LESSONS, I FLOATED AROUND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BUST A NUT AND RELIEVE MY LEVIATHAN LOVE LOAF IN. I SPOTTED THE DEATH STAR AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO THRUST MY TWAT JOCKEY INTO IT. STROKE AFTER STROKE I STARTED SINGLECOCKEDLY DESTROYING THE EMPIRE'S ULTIMATE WEAPON. AS MY SUPER SPUNK CANNON SLOWLY SWELLED WITH SAC SAUCE, I FLAILED AROUND IN ECSTACY AND HIT DOWN SEVERAL MORE TIE FIGHTERS. MY MIGHTY MEAT MISSLE TWITCHED WITH HAPPINESS AS I QUICKLY FILLED THE DEATH STAR WITH MY FUCK STICK'S FETAL FOOTSOLDIERS, OUTNUMBERING THE ENEMY BY 1000 TO 1. THE FILLING OF THE STRUCTURE WITH MY PECKER PHLEGM CAUSED IT TO EXPLODE LIKE A VIRGIN'S CHERRY ENCOUNTERING MY CERVIX SLAMMER. THUSLY, THE DEATH STAR WAS DESTROYED BY ME, NOT LUKE SKYSCHLONG. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO TOWEL HEADS. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME. AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING FAG BAG LIVE, I LET LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE NIGGER JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES. THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC COCK AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY DICK MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. SUDDENLY, HE CRIED OUT, "WHAT'S THAT AMAZING SMELL?" THEN A GROSSLY OBESE NEGRO POPPED OUT FROM
IT, YOU HOLMES, TO BEL-AIR!" I PULLED UP TO
>>
>>562028569
Shit, if I lived closer I'd shoot through and scope it out. I like 130 miles away
>>
>>562027486
>>562027154
>>562028569
Colin? Dude, either one of your friends friends is giving you an elaborate ruse or you are prepping for a good ass fuckin.

I'd stop talking to her.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I WAS HOLDING A MEETING WITH MY COMPANY'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS, EXPLAINING THE IMPORTANCE OF DEDICATION, AND QUALITY IN THE SALE OF OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUITS, WHEN I NOTICED ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WAS, IN FACT, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL BLOND FEMALE, HER BEAUTY MATCHED ONLY BY HER PROFESSIONAL MANNER AND ABSOLUTELY ELEGANT SUIT. THIS COMBINATION OF STIMULI GAVE MY MONOLITHIC CROTCH CANNON NO CHOICE BUT TO AUGMENT AND OBLITERATE MY PANTS. WITHIN MOMENTS MY MEMBER HAD DESOLATED THE BOARD ROOM, THE TABLE HAVING BEEN SMASHED UNDER THE SHEER GIRTH OF MY PELVIC PULVERISER, AND THE WOMAN IN QUESTION WAS IMPALED ON ITS GARGANTUAN TIP, HAVING THROWN HERSELF IN ITS APOCOLIPTIC PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN AN EFFORT NOT ONLY TO SAVE THE LIVES OF HER COLLEAGUES, BUT TO EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND THE QUASI-RELIGEOUS EXPERIENCE THAT IS ZIMMER. AS MY TROUSER TRUNCHEON EXPANDED, DEMOLISHING WALLS AND DISPATCHING THE INTERNS WHO ATTEMPTED TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN THROW THEMSELVES AT THE MERCY OF MY THROBBING FLESH MISSLE. MOMENTS LATER MY PHALLUS HAD KNOCKED OUT MANY OF THE BUILDING'S SUPPORT BEAMS AND THE FLOORS OVERHEAD CRASHED DOWN, THE FORCE OF THEIR MOMENTUM CAUSING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ITSELF TO COLLAPSE IN A NIGHTMARISH MANNER NOT UNLIKE A FAMOUS DISASTER FROM A FEW YEARS AGO. RISING FROM THE RUBBLE, WITH THE STUNNING BOARD MEMBER STILL ON THE TIP OF MY GOD-SHLONG CRYING ALOUD FOR MERCY, HER SUIT AS WELL AS MINE UTTERLY RUINED BY THE AFFAIR, AS WELL AS A DOZEN OTHERS STILL CLINGING TO THE SHAFT. i LET OUT A THUNDERING ROAR AND LET SPEW FORTH MY SEED WITH SUCH AWE-INSPIRING FORCE THAT THE LOAD SHATTERED THE SOUND BARRIER, VAPOURIZING MY LUSTY ASSOCIATE, CRUSHING
>>
>>562029112
*live
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MENS WAREHOUSE. RECENTLY, I WAS APPROACHED BY QUITE A LUCIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER BINDING BUST FIGURE IMMEDIATLY FORCED MY TWITCHING GARGANTUAN MAN CANNON TO RAPIDLY EXPAND TO DIVINE ELEPHANTINE DIMENSIONS. THE LADY IN QUESTION, WHO'S BEAUTY WAS ONLY MATCHED BY THAT OF MY COLLOSSAL DOWNSTAIRS DOWEL, WAS ASTOUNDED AND THUS PROCEEDED TO STARE INTENTLY AT MY INTENSIFYINGLY TITANTIC LUST LOG OF INFINITE SEXUAL DESIRE AS IT OBILTERATED MY FINE UNDERWEAR AND TROUSERS CUNNINGLY CONSTRUCTED BY MY DIGNIFIED CHAIN OF RETAILERS. SHE WAS SO FLABBERGASTED AT THE SHEER SIZE AND GRANDEUR OF MY MAGNIFICENT AND IMPRESSIVE ZIMMER BATON THAT I UNDRESSED HER FINE SKIRT AND UNDERWEAR GARMENTS WITH MY PSYCOKINETIC EYES AND SLAMMED MY GIANT OMINOUS VEINY WHALE INTO THE CREVACE OF HER ORIFICE AND DISCHARGED AN ARMY OF MINITURE DAPPER ALBINO BOSNIANS TO COAT THE INSIDES OF HER ANAL CAVITY WITH ONLY THE FINEST SMELLING ZIMMER PROTEIN PACKED PENILE PRODUCE. ONCE I HAD FINISHED WITH THE PUPPYLIKE WHORE, I STAMPED MY NOW ALMOST FLACID STOPCOCK OF JOY AGAINST THE GROUND AND CHARGED INTO THE NIGHT SKY WITH THE ROCKET FUEL OF A THOUSAND GODS TO CONTINUE MY CRUSADES OF MEAT CLOBBERIN'. I GUARANTEE IT..
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO TOWEL HEADS. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME. AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING FAG BAG LIVE, I LET LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE NIGGER JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES. THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC COCK AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY DICK MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. I GUARANTEE IT..III..
>>
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>>562028921
>>562029102
>>562029286
>>562029504
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I KNOW MOST OF YOU PROBABLY ENJOY STAR WARS. WELL, SORRY TO SAY, IT WASN'T LUKE THAT BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR. IT WAS ME AND MY LENGTHY LENGERIE LIGHTSABER. SO I WAS FLYING AROUND IN MY X-WING, SKILLFULLY SHOOTING DOWN ENEMY TIE FIGHTERS, SLOWLY ENGORGING MY VEINY VAGINAL REAPER. EVENTUALLY, MY IMMENSE IMMEASUREABLE INPREGNATOR GREW TOO LARGE TO FIT IN MY SHIP, AND ME AND MY JABBA FLEW OUT INTO SPACE. AS HORNY AS A PEDO AT SWIMMING LESSONS, I FLOATED AROUND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BUST A NUT AND RELIEVE MY LEVIATHAN LOVE LOAF IN. I SPOTTED THE DEATH STAR AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO THRUST MY TWAT JOCKEY INTO IT. STROKE AFTER STROKE I STARTED SINGLECOCKEDLY DESTROYING THE EMPIRE'S ULTIMATE WEAPON. AS MY SUPER SPUNK CANNON SLOWLY SWELLED WITH SAC SAUCE, I FLAILED AROUND IN ECSTACY AND HIT DOWN SEVERAL MORE TIE FIGHTERS. MY MIGHTY MEAT MISSLE TWITCHED WITH HAPPINESS AS I QUICKLY FILLED THE DEATH STAR WITH MY FUCK STICK'S FETAL FOOTSOLDIERS, OUTNUMBERING THE ENEMY BY 1000 TO 1. THE FILLING OF THE STRUCTURE WITH MY PECKER PHLEGM CAUSED IT TO EXPLODE LIKE A VIRGIN'S CHERRY ENCOUNTERING MY CERVIX SLAMMER. THUSLY, THE DEATH STAR WAS DESTROYED BY ME, NOT LUKE SKYSCHLONG. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE.
ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY, WHILE I PONDERED WEAK AND WEARY OVER MANY A QUAINT AND CURIOUS 4CHAN MOD'S WHORISH MOTHER WHILE I NODDED, NEARLY NAPPING, SUDDENLY THERE CAME A TAPPING AT MY FANTASTIC FERTILITY FRANKFURTER "TIS SOME WHORE," I MUTTERED, "RAPPING AT MY VEINY VENEREAL VIENNA WIENERSCHNITZEL. ONLY THIS AND NOTHING MORE."
AH, DISTINCTLY I REMEMBER, IT WAS IN THE BLEAK DECEMBER, AND CHILL HAD WITHERED MY OPULENT ORAL OPIATE UPON THE FLOOR. WITH A BLINK I LOOKED AND SHUDDERED, MY FOOT IN VIEW MY SIGHT UNCLUTTERED I SIGHED AND BEGAN TO VISUALLY EXPLORE THE AREA AROUND MY COMPUTER. AND I DISCOVERED SOMETHING MORE.
THE FOOT I SAW BELONGED TO ANOTHER, A VIXEN BORN OF SOMETHING OTHER THIS WAS NO 4CHANNER’S WHORISH MOTHER, BUT A VISION OF LUST AND ANAL PLUNDER A MIGHTY AMAZON, CLOTHES TORN ASUNDER AND PANTING MIGHTILY AT MY APPARENT FUROR HAVING SEEN MY LANGUID LADIES LUXURY LOVELINER AND NOTHING MORE.
MY NEED AWAKENED AS MY COMPUTER DESK WEAKENED AND CRACKED BENEATH MY BEWITCHING BEEF BICYCLE MUCH TO THE DELIGHT OF THIS WOMAN, CHRISTENED LENORE. I STOOD WITH DIFFICULTY IN THE WRECKAGE AND OFFERED TO MY LADY A PACKAGE A NIGHT OF UNENDING UNSTOPPABLE UNDULATING AND NOTHING MORE. WITH A NOD AND SAUCY GRIN THE PRINCESS OF THIS TALE BEGAN TO SLIDE THE TIP OF HEAVEN IN AND WHILE I OFFERED TO BE GENTLE, YOURS TRULY ISN’T SENTIMENTAL AND SO I RAMMED HER WITH MY FORCE DU JOUR-- A CARNAL CORINTHIAN COLUMN FORMED OF LUST AND WHORE. SHE CRIED IN ECSTASY, THEN WRITHED STILL MORE.
I REAMED HER ONCE INSIDE MY STUDY, AND THEN I BROUGHT HER TO A BEDROOM, WHERE I DELIGHTED HER WITH MY MIGHTY MAN MUSHROOM GALLANTLY GALLOPING THROUGH HER MUDDY ROAD TO BRING HER ORGASMS OF MAGNITUDE UNDISCOVERED AS SHE BEGGED FOR NOTHING BUT “MORE! MORE!”
>>
Why didn't you get an apartment number
>>
I WAS A 54 YEAR OLD PEDEREST WITHOUT A JOB, FAMILY, OR FAITH. THE YEAR 1998 WAS LOOKING FOGGY, FOGGY LIKE DOGSHIT. BUT ALL THAT CHANGED WHEN I MET A [AGE DISCLOSED] YEAR OLD GIRL ON HER OWN AT THE MOVIES WATCHING JIM CARRY, JIM CARRY MAKES ME LAUGH MATTER. ON THE OTHER TOE, IT WAS AN ORDINARY WEEKEND, EXCEPT THE SKY WAS ON FIRE, WITH MAN LUST, MY MAN LUST. THAT FIRE WAS PROJECTED FROM MY ANUS, I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND OR EXPLAIN HOW - BUT IT WAS. I MOVED DOWN 27 ROWS TO SIT RIGHT NEXT TO HER. I KNEW THIS WAS THE ONE, I HAD DREAMED ABOUT, SCREAMED ABOUT, CREAMED ABOUT FOR NEARLY 5 DECADES OF EXISTENCE. I ASKED HER IF HER PARENTS WERE AROUND, BUT SHE MANAGED TO GET OUT A "RAAAAA.." BEFORE I COMFORTED HER WITH SILENCE. SHE DECIDED TO COME BACK TO MY PLACE, SO I WRAPPED HER IN MY FAT ROLLS AND WALKED OUT OF THE CINEMA TO MY CAR. AFTERWARD, SHE TOLD ME ABOUT SOMETHING THAT WAS TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER, THE MATRIX/INTERNET. ALIENS WERE REAL AND DOGS REALLY COULD TALK. I TRIED MY BEST TO LOOK LIKE MY FACE WAS A PENIS TO HER, BUT ALL SHE DID WAS NOD HER HEAD IN SHAME. SHE GAVE ME A BOOK CALLED "THE BIBLE", I FARTED GRACEFULLY AND BEGAN TO READ. I WAS A SPEED READER, SO I HAD FINISHED THE BOOK BY TIME MY FART HAS DEPARTED MY STERNUM. MY 13 YEAR OLD WIFE COULD ONLY APPRECIATE MY WORKS, BY VOMMITTING ALLOVER MY FACE AND SHITTING ON MY KNEES. SO MY CYBER CONGLOMERATE BEGAN.. SINCE EATING AN INTERNET INTO EXISTENCE, THE COCK OF CHRIST (CHURCH OF BOB) MADE PROMINENCE IN INTERNET EVANGELISM, WHICH IS FUNNILY ENOUGH A TERM I INVENTED WHILST PERFORMING BRAIN SURGEORY ON MY NEIGHBOURS WIFES COCK. WITH GODLY SPEED THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF PORNOGRAPHY WAS FORMED AND THE WORLDS FIRST MMOWB, MASSIVE MULTICHRISTIAN ONLINE WORSHIP BROADCAST WAS FORMED BY MYSELF, STEVE IRWIN, ADAM SMITH, ADOLF HITLER AND MEL GIBSON. WE ESTABLISHED THE MMOWB BACK IN 1998 ON A SMALLER WALKEE TALKEE -TO- WALKEE TALKEE SCALE.
>>
HI... I'M JARED FOGLE, EX FATTY AND SPOKESMAN OF SUBWAY®. THE OTHER DAY, WHILE CRUISING AROUND IN MY FOGLE MOBILE AND SHOWING OFF THIS SET OF GIGANTIC PANTS I CARRY AROUND, I STOPPED IN TO GRAB A NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION BROCHURE AT MY LOCAL SUBWAY® RESTAURANT AND FOLLOW A REDUCED CALORIE DIET BY EATING TWO SUBWAY® SUBMARINE SANDWICHES A DAY. IT WAS WHILE I WAS DOING THIS THAT I SPOTTED QUITE A DELICIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER SUCCULENT OVEN ROASTED BREAST AND SELECTION OF A SIX INCH HAM SUB WITH ONLY SIX GRAMS OF FAT INSTANTANEOUSLY FORCED MY SPASMING CHIPOTLE CHEESE STEAK TO HASTILY ENLARGE TO CELESTIAL PROPORTIONS. UPON APPROACHING THE DAME IN QUESTION, HER EYES WERE INSTANTLY DRAWN TO MY OMNIPOTENT FOGLE MISSILE AS IT BURST THROUGH MY FINELY CRAFTED SIZE 34 TROUSERS. WASTING NO TIME, I SWIFTLY DISROBED HER WITH MY PREHENSILE PELVIC PORPOISE AND SLAMMED MY VEINY LOIN BRONTOSAURUS INTO HER INSTINCTIVELY DRENCHED CHASM. I SCRUPULOUSLY DESECRATED EVERY INCH OF HER VIOLET CROTCH CAVERN WITH MY 6 FOOT MEATBALL SUB WHILE TEARING OFF THE FINE PRINT ON ALL THE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION BROCHURES AND ORGANIZING APPEARANCES ON OPRAH AND LARRY KING LIVE. I UNLOADED A GEYSER OF 160,000* POUNDS OF FOGLE FLUID INTO HER RAVISHED CRATER WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO SEND HER FLYING HEADFIRST THROUGH A PANE OF PERSPEX AND INTO A TUB OF SHREDDED LETTUCE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS CURDLED THE MAYONNAISE. I GUARANTEE IT. *(TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW MUCH 160,000 POUNDS IS, IT IS EQUAL TO 14,545 SKATEBOARDS, 10,000 MARCHING BAND TUBAS, 1,568 SETS OF ENCYCLOPEDIAS, 492 BLACK BEARS, 426 GORILLAS, AND 184 GRAND PIANOS)
>>
HAI, I AM RANMA SAOTOME, FOUNDER AND GRANDMASTER OF ANYTHING-GOES-SPOOGE-ARTS. ONE DAY WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE PRISTINE COMMUNITY OF MY HOMETOWN I SPOTTED A YOUNG VOLUPTUOUS VIXEN OF A CHINESE MAIDEN RIDING HER BIKE TOWARDS ME POST HASTE. INTRIGUED, I HALTED MY MONOTONOUS STEP, TURNING TOWARDS THIS VIOLET HAIRED JEWEL. SHE SPOTTED ME SECONDS AFTER, AND MY TESTOSTERONE BEGAN RADIATING AT FULL. WHILE SOMEHOW STAYING ON HER TWO-WHEELED VEHICLE OF DOOM, SHE LUNGED TOWARDS ME WITH THE SPEED OF AN OLYMPIAN. I ROARED AS MY MALICIOUS MAN-TOOL INSTANTLY SPRANG TO LIFE, AND SHOT FORWARD, RIPPING MY WELL-TAILORED PANTS AND WRAPPED AROUND HER FRONT TIRE, PULLING IT DOWN JUST IN FRONT OF ME. WITHOUT MY HANDS OR FEET, I REPEATEDLY SMASHED HER INTO THE GROUND SO AS TO BEAT HER INTO SUBMISSION, AS IS CUSTOM WITH HER PEOPLE, AND STRIPPED HER CLOTHES OFF. WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND PYTHONS, MY MASCULINE LOVE MUSCLE THEN PENETRATED HER, INSTANTLY CAUSING HER FIFTY ORGASMS AT ONCE. WE MATED RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET, AND MY SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE CAUSED MANY TO GO FAINT WITH LUST AND ECSTASY. THAT NIGHT, ALL WOMEN WITHIN A THIRTY YARD RADIUS OF MY SELF WERE IMPREGNATED DUE TO THE INSANE AMOUNTS OF BABY FUNK MY HEAVILY MUSKY-SCENTED TOKYO TOWER SHOT OFF. I VOW UPON MY HONOR AS A MARTIAL-ARTIST.
>>
>>562024976
Only tinder dated once. Girl made me send her selfie because she didn't like my profile pics. Then she met up. At a fucking food court at a mall during the day. Do this anon. Have her meet you in a safe place and then take her to yours.
>>
>>562030285
Well at that point I was just so fucking confused. According to her facebook she's from Newport beach so her being in buena park is a fucking mystery. I can give you guys the phone number as the last thing.
>>
HAI, I AM RANMA SAOTOME, FOUNDER AND GRANDMASTER OF ANYTHING-GOES-SPOOGE ARTS. ONE STORMY SUNDAY WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE QUAINT NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY ORIGIN, I SPOTTED A FAMILIAR RESTAURANT THAT I HADN'T VISITED IN QUITE SOME TIME. I STROLLED RIGHT ON IN WITH SOME FEELING OF KNOWING I'D BE GETTING SOME TONIGHT(AGAIN). THE CHEF WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SO SHE ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WANTED UPON MAKING MY ENTRANCE. THE SMELL OF THE PLACE WAS EXACTLY AS I REMEMBERED, AND THE FEELING IT GAVE ME GAVE MY SUPER SHLONG NEW LIFE. AFTER DEVOURING HER SOMEWHAT APPLAUDABLE MEAL, I HASTILY UNZIPPED MY PANTS AND SLAPPED MY LONG WONG RIGHT ON THE GRILL. YOU MIGHT THINK THIS WAS A FATAL MISTAKE, HOWEVER, MY MEGA MAN BLASTER IS IMPERVIOUS TO SUCH THINGS AS INTENSE HEAT. OTHER CUSTOMERS WERE SHOCKED INTO EITHER RUNNING AWAY OR STAYING AND STARING WITH JAWS AGAPE; EITHER BY THE AUDACITY DISPLAYED OR MORE LIKELY BY THE SHEER SIZE OF MY HADOUKEN GUN. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE CHEF WAS QUITE IMPRESSED AND WE WERE JOINED TOGETHER IN LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS. WITH MY MASSIVE MAN MEAT POUNDING AT HER INNARDS, OUR COMBINED EFFORTS DROVE BOTH OF US TO A SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM THAT, AS WITH ALL ORGASMS, SPILLED COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SEMEN AND GIRL CUM ALL OVER THE PLACE. THAT NIGHT, HER TRAP-KUNOICHI SERVANT CLEANED IT UP AND HAS BEEN INCLUDING IT IN THE STORE'S ISECRET SAUCE EVER SINCE. THEIR BUSINESS HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER. I GUARANTEE IT
>>
>>562028569
it could actually be her place. Lots of hotties are ghetto hotties. But better be safe.
>>
HI, I'M WILLIAM T. RIKER, COMMANDER AND NUMBER ONE OF THE USS ENTERPRISE. I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES RUBBING SOME TERRIBLY TEMPTING TWEENS UNDEVELOPED TITS. WHILE I USUALLY HAVE TO STAVE OFF THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS AND FBI WITH QUICK SWIPES OF MY PULSATING PINK PHASER THERE ARE SOME SITUATIONS IN WHICH MY ACTIONS ARE DEEMED ACCEPTABLE. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN THE LITTLE LUSCIOUS LOLI IN QUESTION HAS A HACKING COUGH AND MY SISTER IS TOO BUSY RIDING MY RAVISHINGLY RIGID ROMULAN TO RUB HER HERSELF. SO I PROCEEDED TO RUB AN OINTMENT ALL OVER HER PALATABLE PECTORAL PROTRUSIONS WHILST SHE HAD MULTIPLE LOLIGASMS BEFORE FALLING SOUND ASLEEP. I FINISHED TAKING MY SISTER PAST WARP 10 ON MY TURGID TESTICULAR TORPEDO SHIP BEFORE YOU COULD SAY "THRESHOLD". COUNSELOR TROI AND I HAVE ILNOW ADOPTED THE YOUNG GIRL AND OUR CRIES OF PASSION CAN BE HEARD ALL AROUND THE GALAXY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI I'M ADOLF HITLER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE NAZI PARTY. THE HISTORY BOOKS ARE WRONG, THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS DID NOT KILL THE JEWS. I PERSONALLY KILLED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE SIX MILLION WITH MY GARGANTUAN GERMAN GLOCKENSPEIL. MY MASSIVE FRANKFURTER FROM THE FATHERLAND SMASHED EACH AND EVERY HEEB WITH MORE ZEST AND ZEAL THEN ZYKLON-B EVER COULD FATHOM. FOUR AND ONE HALF MILLION PERISHED UNDER MY IMPRENGABLE BUNKER. THE OTHER ONE POINT FIVE MILLION I DROWNED IN A COLLOSAL RAIN OF MY FUHRERFUNK, EACH JEW CHOKING WITH DELIGHT ON MY DELICIOUS DONGDROPPINGS. THEIR GASPING, CHOKING VOICES SOUNDED LIKE A GREEK CHORUS UNTIL THE FINAL BREATHS OF THE LAST. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M DTD, FOUNDER AND CEO OF DTD INDUSTRIES. ONE DAY WHILE I WAS TALKING TO MY TALENTLESS LACKIES, SOME FAGGOT NAMED BISH DECIDED TO QUESTION MY AUTHORITY. IN A SPERM-INGESTING CAUSED DELUSION HE TRIED TO ESTABLISH HIMSELF AS THE ALPHA MALE OF MY PACK. HOWEVER, ME AND MY SPERM SPITTING SPICHTER SPLITTER WOULD HEAR NOTHING OF THIS. MY OUTRAGEOUS ORGASM ORGAN TREMBLED AS IT ROSE, STRUGGLING UNDER ITS OWN GREAT GIRTH. BEFORE IT COULD RAISE TO IT'S MAGNIFICENT HEIGHT, IT SPUTTERED AND FELL BACK TO THE EARTH SEVERAL TIMES, KNOCKING THE PLANET OFF OF ORBIT AND CREATING TREMORS THAT KNOCKED THE ONE WHO WOULD CHALLENGE ME TO THE GROUND. DECIDING HE WASN'T WORTH CALLING MY PENT-UP PLEASURE PENIS TO POWER, I LET IT FALL ON HIS SPUTTERING FORM. TO THIS DAY I HAVE YET TO LOOK UNDER MY DOLL-BUSTING DYKE BREAKER AND SEE WHAT BECAME OF HIM. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
if her fb and insta seem legit continue the conversation there.
>>
HAI, I AM RANMA SAOTOME, FOUNDER AND GRANDMASTER OF ANYTHING-GOES-SPOOGE-ARTS. ONE DAY WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE PRISTINE COMMUNITY OF MY HOMETOWN I SPOTTED A YOUNG VOLUPTUOUS VIXEN OF A CHINESE MAIDEN RIDING HER BIKE TOWARDS ME POST HASTE. INTRIGUED, I HALTED MY MONOTONOUS STEP, TURNING TOWARDS THIS VIOLET HAIRED JEWEL. SHE SPOTTED ME SECONDS AFTER, AND MY TESTOSTERONE BEGAN RADIATING AT FULL. WHILE SOMEHOW STAYING ON HER TWO-WHEELED VEHICLE OF DOOM, SHE LUNGED TOWARDS ME WITH THE SPEED OF AN OLYMPIAN. I ROARED AS MY MALICIOUS MAN-TOOL INSTANTLY SPRANG TO LIFE, AND SHOT FORWARD, RIPPING MY WELL-TAILORED PANTS AND WRAPPED AROUND HER FRONT TIRE, PULLING IT DOWN JUST IN FRONT OF ME. WITHOUT MY HANDS OR FEET, I REPEATEDLY SMASHED HER INTO THE GROUND SO AS TO BEAT HER INTO SUBMISSION, AS IS CUSTOM WITH HER PEOPLE, AND STRIPPED HER CLOTHES OFF. WITH THE POWER OF A THOUSAND PYTHONS, MY MASCULINE LOVE MUSCLE THEN PENETRATED HER, INSTANTLY CAUSING HER FIFTY ORGASMS AT ONCE. WE MATED RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET, AND MY SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCE CAUSED MANY TO GO FAINT WITH LUST AND ECSTASY. THAT NIGHT, ALL WOMEN WITHIN A THIRTY YARD RADIUS OF MY SELF WERE IMPREGNATED DUE TO THE INSANE AMOUNTS OF BABY FUNK MY HEAVILY MUSKY-SCENTED TOKYO TOWER SHOT OFF. I VOW UPON MY HONOR AS A MARTIAL-ARTIST.
>>
HAI, I AM RANMA SAOTOME, FOUNDER AND GRANDMASTER OF ANYTHING-GOES-SPOOGE ARTS. ONE STORMY SUNDAY WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE QUAINT NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY ORIGIN, I SPOTTED A FAMILIAR RESTAURANT THAT I HADN'T VISITED IN QUITE SOME TIME. I STROLLED RIGHT ON IN WITH SOME FEELING OF KNOWING I'D BE GETTING SOME TONIGHT(AGAIN). THE CHEF WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SO SHE ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WANTED UPON MAKING MY ENTRANCE. THE SMELL OF THE PLACE WAS EXACTLY AS I REMEMBERED, AND THE FEELING IT GAVE ME GAVE MY SUPER SHLONG NEW LIFE. AFTER DEVOURING HER SOMEWHAT APPLAUDABLE MEAL, I HASTILY UNZIPPED MY PANTS AND SLAPPED MY LONG WONG RIGHT ON THE GRILL. YOU MIGHT THINK THIS WAS A FATAL MISTAKE, HOWEVER, MY MEGA MAN BLASTER IS IMPERVIOUS TO SUCH THINGS AS INTENSE HEAT. OTHER CUSTOMERS WERE SHOCKED INTO EITHER RUNNING AWAY OR STAYING AND STARING WITH JAWS AGAPE; EITHER BY THE AUDACITY DISPLAYED OR MORE LIKELY BY THE SHEER SIZE OF MY HADOUKEN GUN. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE CHEF WAS QUITE IMPRESSED AND WE WERE JOINED TOGETHER IN LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS. WITH MY MASSIVE MAN MEAT POUNDING AT HER INNARDS, OUR COMBINED EFFORTS DROVE BOTH OF US TO A SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM THAT, AS WITH ALL ORGASMS, SPILLED COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SEMEN AND GIRL CUM ALL OVER THE PLACE. THAT NIGHT, HER TRAP-KUNOICASHI SERVANT CLEANED IT UP AND HAS BEEN INCLUDING IT IN THE STORE'S SECRET SAUCE EVER SINCE. THEIR BUSINESS HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
File: image.jpg (179KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>562024976
PIZZA IS ORDERED! Thank me later.
>>
HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WAREHOUSE. I AM IMPRESSED THAT SOMEONE SO OBVIOUSLY INCAPABLE OF BIPEDAL MOVEMENT DUE TO THE ENORMOUS ROLLS OF FLESH SURROUNDING YOU IS CAPABLE OF TYPING AT ALL. I HAVE A SET OF TRIPLETS NIBBLING AT MY CARNAL CORNUCOPIA; WHEN I CLIMAX, A DELICIOUS DELUGE OF DONG DROPPINGS WILL BE FLUNG INTO LOW EARTH ORBIT. A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS HIGHLY TRAINED IN THE EROTIC ART OF ALIGNING MY RAPACIOUS RAPE ROCKET WILL ENSURE THAT THIS QUALITY QUIM-CAULK QUINTESSENCE RE-ENTERS THE ATMOSPHERE AIMED EXACTLY AT YOUR ADMITTEDLY AMPLE FRAME. IF THE SIZZLING HEAT OF MY NIAGARA-LIKE TORRENT OF BOILING HOT FERTILITY FLUID DOESN’T KILL YOU, THE FACT YOU’LL BE TOO AROUSED TO DO MORE THAN INHALE IT DEEPLY WHILE TRYING VAINLY TO FIND A WAY TO REACH YOUR IMPRESSIVELY INSIGNIFICANT INCEST INCHWORM WILL. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THE TWELVE MINERS WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE. I WAS IN THE RESCUE PARTY EYEING A PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WHEN WE FOUND THE GROUP. IN THE JOY OF UNCOVERING THESE COAL-CLAD MEN CLINGING TO LIFE, MY EXTRAVAGANTLY ENGORGED ENDOWMENT FREED ITSELF FROM ITS ENCLOSED ENVIRONMENT AND TORE THROUGH THE WOMAN'S CLOTHES, TAKING HER FOR A SURPRISE RIDE ON THE ZIMMER MINESHAFT DRILL. THE SHOCK AND AWE CAUSE BY MY MASSIVE MEMBER RENDERED THE REST OF THE RESCUERS UNABLE TO HELP THE SURVIVORS. SEEING THE WIDE EYES OF THE MINERS IN FRONT OF ME, I LET LOOSE A LEGENDARY LANDMINE OF LIQUID MAN-LATHER, EXPLODING SO POWERFULLY IT LACERATED THE BODY CAVITY OF MY FEMALE COMPANION, MIXING WITH HER BLOOD LIKE A STRAWBERRY CREAMSLUSH AS IT FILLED THE CAVERNOUS MINE AS IF IT WERE A GIGANTIC UTERUS. ONLY ONE OF THE MINERS HAD STRENGTH ENOUGH TO STAY ABOVE THE RISING WAVES OF MY CAVE CHOWDER, SWIMMING TO THE SURFACE WITH ME, THE OTHER RESCUERS, AND MY IMPALED COMPANION. I'M NOT SURE HOW HE SURVIVED, BUT I'LL FINISH HIM OFF WHEN I MAKE MY ROUNDS WITH THE NURSES TONIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON MY RETURN FLIGHT HOME FROM MADRID ON HOLIDAY, I WAS AGHAST TO LEARN THAT THE AIRLINE PATRON SEATED IN FRONT OF ME HAD BECOME OVERLY INDULGENT IN THE COMPLIMENTARY SPIRITS OFFERED BY THE FLIGHT CREW. HIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS THE OTHER PASSENGERS WARRANTED A SWIFT AND RATHER UNSOLICITED EXERSIZE SESSION OF HIS VULNERABLE ANAL CAVITY. STANDING TO SPEAK HARSHLY TO THE MAN, MY WONDERFULLY WICKED WOMAN WOOING WONDER WIENER FELL TO THE FLOOR OF THE AIRCRAFT WITH A TERRIFFIC THUD FROM THE BERMUDA SHORTS THAT HAD SOMEHOW CONTAINED IT PREVIOUSLY. HIS SCREAMING PLEAS FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS ECHOED IN THE OTHERWISE SILENT CABIN, AND I SUSPECT THEY WILL RING FOREVER IN THE EARS OF THOSE WHO BORE WITNESS TO THE DRAMA AND FERVOR WITH WHICH MY GREATLY-GIRTHED GATLING GONADS PIERCED BOTH HIS HERSHEY HIGHWAY AND THE SANCTITY OF HIS VERY SOUL IN UNISON. UPON SATISFACTION OF MY LESSON HAVING BEEN TAUGHT, I RELEASED ONTO MY ADMIRING ONLOOKERS A TORRENTIAL TESTICULAR TSUNAMI THAT MADE UNWILLING MEMBERS OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB OUT OF EVERY PERSON ON BOARD FLIGHT 606 TO NEW YORK CITY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
Absolutely not worth the risk op
>>
HELLO, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AS BEFITS ANY MAN OF MY SENSATIONALLY STUPENDOUS STATURE, I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF BRUSHES WITH THE LAW. I RECALL ONE AUSPICIOUS AUTUMN AFTERNOON I WAS LEAVING THE SCENE OF YET ANOTHER OF MY RIDICULOUSLY RAPTUROUS RAPE RUNS AT THE LOCAL CONVENT WHEN I WAS ACCOSTED BY A POSITIVELY PULSE-POUNDINGLY PRECOCIOUS POLICEWOMAN. ONE LOOK AT THE BUSTY BADGE-BRANDISHING BEAUTY HAD MY CONSUMMATELY COLLOSAL CROTCH CANNON THUMPING AGAINST MY PANT LEG FOR RELEASE. A TWITCH OF THE WRIST, AND MY MONSTROUSLY MIGHTY, MAGESTICALLY MANED LOIN LION ROARED FORTH AND DROVE DEEP PAST THE LUSCIOUSLY LASCIVIOUS LAW-LADY'S LABIA. AS SHE SQUIRMED AND SWAYED AT THE SOUL-SPEARING SENSATION THAT IS THE SPIRITUAL SEXPERIENCE OF ZIMMER, MY SOFA-SIZED SWEATY SEXUAL SWASHBUCKLER SPOUTED A SINFULLY SUCCULENT SPRAY OF SENSATIONALLY SLOPPY, SWEET-SMELLING SPERM SAUCE. I'VE NEVER PAID A PARKING TICKET SINCE. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
>>562031864
ayy lmao, order me a pizza
>>
>>562032367
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON MY RETURN FLIGHT HOME FROM MADRID ON HOLIDAY, I WAS AGHAST TO LEARN THAT THE AIRLINE PATRON SEATED IN FRONT OF ME HAD BECOME OVERLY INDULGENT IN THE COMPLIMENTARY SPIRITS OFFERED BY THE FLIGHT CREW. HIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS THE OTHER PASSENGERS WARRANTED A SWIFT AND RATHER UNSOLICITED EXERSIZE SESSION OF HIS VULNERABLE ANAL CAVITY. STANDING TO SPEAK HARSHLY TO THE MAN, MY WONDERFULLY WICKED WOMAN WOOING WONDER WIENER FELL TO THE FLOOR OF THE AIRCRAFT WITH A TERRIFFIC THUD FROM THE BERMUDA SHORTS THAT HAD SOMEHOW CONTAINED IT PREVIOUSLY. HIS SCREAMING PLEAS FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS ECHOED IN THE OTHERWISE SILENT CABIN, AND I SUSPECT THEY WILL RING FOREVER IN THE EARS OF THOSE WHO BORE WITNESS TO THE DRAMA AND FERVOR WITH WHICH MY GREATLY-GIRTHED GATLING GONADS PIERCED BOTH HIS HERSHEY HIGHWAY AND THE SANCTITY OF HIS VERY SOUL IN UNISON. UPON SATISFACTION OF MY LESSON HAVING BEEN TAUGHT, I RELEASED ONTO MY ADMIRING ONLOOKERS A TORRENTIAL TESTICULAR TSUNAMI THAT MADE UNWILLING MEMBERS OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB OUT OF EVERY PERSON ON BOARD FLIGHT 606 TO NEW YORK CITY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I WAS HOLDING A MEETING WITH MY COMPANY'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS, EXPLAINING THE IMPORTANCE OF DEDICATION, AND QUALITY IN THE SALE OF OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUITS, WHEN I NOTICED ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WAS, IN FACT, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL BLOND FEMALE, HER BEAUTY MATCHED ONLY BY HER PROFESSIONAL MANNER AND ABSOLUTELY ELEGANT SUIT. THIS COMBINATION OF STIMULI GAVE MY MONOLITHIC CROTCH CANNON NO CHOICE BUT TO AUGMENT AND OBLITERATE MY PANTS. WITHIN MOMENTS MY MEMBER HAD DESOLATED THE BOARD ROOM, THE TABLE HAVING BEEN SMASHED UNDER THE SHEER GIRTH OF MY PELVIC PULVERISER, AND THE WOMAN IN QUESTION WAS IMPALED ON ITS GARGANTUAN TIP, HAVING THROWN HERSELF IN ITS APOCOLIPTIC PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN AN EFFORT NOT ONLY TO SAVE THE LIVES OF HER COLLEAGUES, BUT TO EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND THE QUASI-RELIGEOUS EXPERIENCE THAT IS ZIMMER. AS MY TROUSER TRUNCHEON EXPANDED, DEMOLISHING WALLS AND DISPATCHING THE INTERNS WHO ATTEMPTED TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN THROW THEMSELVES AT THE MERCY OF MY THROBBING FLESH MISSLE. MOMENTS LATER MY PHALLUS HAD KNOCKED OUT MANY OF THE BUILDING'S SUPPORT BEAMS AND THE FLOORS OVERHEAD CRASHED DOWN, THE FORCE OF THEIR MOMENTUM CAUSING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ITSELF TO COLLAPSE IN A NIGHTMARISH MANNER NOT UNLIKE A FAMOUS DISASTER FROM A FEW YEARS AGO. RISING FROM THE RUBBLE, WITH THE STUNNING BOARD MEMBER STILL ON THE TIP OF MY GOD-SHLONG CRYING ALOUD FOR MERCY, HER SUIT AS WELL AS MINE UTTERLY RUINED BY THE AFFAIR, AS WELL AS A DOZEN OTHERS STILL CLINGING TO THE SHAFT. i LET OUT A THUNDERING ROAR AND LET SPEW FORTH MY SEED WITH SUCH AWE-INSPIRING FORCE THAT THE LOAD SHATTERED THE SOUND BARRIER, VAPOURIZING MY LUSTY ASSOCIATE, CRUSHING EVERYONE IN SIGHT AND SHATTERING EVERY WINDOW IN A 5-MILE RADIUS. IN THE AFTERMATH, STANDING NAKED AND COVERED IN CEMENT DUST, AND SMILING CONTENTLY AT THE DEMOLISHED, RUINS BEFORE ME, I SPOTTED A SMALL DOG, STUMBING IN THE
>>
>>562031864
Thanks based Maribel
>>
>>562031607

candiceedavenport

Thats her facebook. It just looks fishy because she's only been on there for a couple of months and all the pics on it are basically her tinder pics except two. Only a couple of likes and such. Looks like it was set up exclusively for a tinder or something.
>>
>>562032725
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON MY RETURN FLIGHT HOME FROM MADRID ON HOLIDAY, I WAS AGHAST TO LEARN THAT THE AIRLINE PATRON SEATED IN FRONT OF ME HAD BECOME OVERLY INDULGENT IN THE COMPLIMENTARY SPIRITS OFFERED BY THE FLIGHT CREW. HIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS THE OTHER PASSENGERS WARRANTED A SWIFT AND RATHER UNSOLICITED EXERSIZE SESSION OF HIS VULNERABLE ANAL CAVITY. STANDING TO SPEAK HARSHLY TO THE MAN, MY WONDERFULLY WICKED WOMAN WOOING WONDER WIENER FELL TO THE FLOOR OF THE AIRCRAFT WITH A TERRIFFIC THUD FROM THE BERMUDA SHORTS THAT HAD SOMEHOW CONTAINED IT PREVIOUSLY. HIS SCREAMING PLEAS FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS ECHOED IN THE OTHERWISE SILENT CABIN, AND I SUSPECT THEY WILL RING FOREVER IN THE EARS OF THOSE WHO BORE WITNESS TO THE DRAMA AND FERVOR WITH WHICH MY GREATLY-GIRTHED GATLING GONADS PIERCED BOTH HIS HERSHEY HIGHWAY AND THE SANCTITY OF HIS VERY SOUL IN UNISON. UPON SATISFACTION OF MY LESSON HAVING BEEN TAUGHT, I RELEASED ONTO MY ADMIRING ONLOOKERS A TORRENTIAL TESTICULAR TSUNAMI THAT MADE UNWILLING MEMBERS OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB OUT OF EVERY PERSON ON BOARD FLIGHT 606 TO NEW YORK CITY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
>>562032607
Gimme your phone number, address, city, and state.
>>
I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I KNOW MOST OF YOU PROBABLY ENJOY STAR WARS. WELL, SORRY TO SAY, IT WASN'T LUKE THAT BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR. IT WAS ME AND MY LENGTHY LENGERIE LIGHTSABER. SO I WAS FLYING AROUND IN MY X-WING, SKILLFULLY SHOOTING DOWN ENEMY TIE FIGHTERS, SLOWLY ENGORGING MY VEINY VAGINAL REAPER. EVENTUALLY, MY IMMENSE IMMEASUREABLE INPREGNATOR GREW TOO LARGE TO FIT IN MY SHIP, AND ME AND MY JABBA FLEW OUT INTO SPACE. AS HORNY AS A PEDO AT SWIMMING LESSONS, I FLOATED AROUND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BUST A NUT AND RELIEVE MY LEVIATHAN LOVE LOAF IN. I SPOTTED THE DEATH STAR AND IMMEDIATELY STARTED TO THRUST MY TWAT JOCKEY INTO IT. STROKE AFTER STROKE I STARTED SINGLECOCKEDLY DESTROYING THE EMPIRE'S ULTIMATE WEAPON. AS MY SUPER SPUNK CANNON SLOWLY SWELLED WITH SAC SAUCE, I FLAILED AROUND IN ECSTACY AND HIT DOWN SEVERAL MORE TIE FIGHTERS. MY MIGHTY MEAT MISSLE TWITCHED WITH HAPPINESS AS I QUICKLY FILLED THE DEATH STAR WITH MY FUCK STICK'S FETAL FOOTSOLDIERS, OUTNUMBERING THE ENEMY BY 1000 TO 1. THE FILLING OF THE STRUCTURE WITH MY PECKER PHLEGM CAUSED IT TO EXPLODE LIKE A VIRGIN'S CHERRY ENCOUNTERING MY CERVIX SLAMMER. THUSLY, THE DEATH STAR WAS DESTROYED BY ME, NOT LUKE SKYSCHLONG. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M WILLIAM T. RIKER, COMMANDER AND NUMBER ONE OF THE USS ENTERPRISE. I JUST SPENT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES RUBBING SOME TERRIBLY TEMPTING TWEENS UNDEVELOPED TITS. WHILE I USUALLY HAVE TO STAVE OFF THE LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS AND FBI WITH QUICK SWIPES OF MY PULSATING PINK PHASER THERE ARE SOME SITUATIONS IN WHICH MY ACTIONS ARE DEEMED ACCEPTABLE. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN THE LITTLE LUSCIOUS LOLI IN QUESTION HAS A HACKING COUGH AND MY SISTER IS TOO BUSY RIDING MY RAVISHINGLY RIGID ROMULAN TO RUB HER HERSELF. SO I PROCEEDED TO RUB AN OINTMENT ALL OVER HER PALATABLE PECTORAL PROTRUSIONS WHILST SHE HAD MULTIPLE LOLIGASMS BEFORE FALLING SOUND ASLEEP. I FINISHED TAKING MY SISTER PAST WARP 10 ON MY TURGID TESTICULAR TORPEDO SHIP BEFORE YOU COULD SAY "THRESHOLD". COUNSELOR TROI AND I HAVE NOW ADOPTED THE YOUNG GIRL AND OUR CRIES OF PASSION CAN BE HEARD ALL AROUND THE GALAXY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
File: image.jpg (144KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>562031864
Smore.
>>
HAI, I AM RANMA SAOTOME, FOUNDER AND GRANDMASTER OF ANYTHING-GOES-SPOOGE ARTS. ONE STORMY SUNDAY WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE QUAINT NEIGHBORHOOD OF MY ORIGIN, I SPOTTED A FAMILIAR RESTAURANT THAT I HADN'T VISITED IN QUITE SOME TIME. I STROLLED RIGHT ON IN WITH SOME FEELING OF KNOWING I'D BE GETTING SOME TONIGHT(AGAIN). THE CHEF WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE, SO SHE ALREADY KNEW WHAT I WANTED UPON MAKING MY ENTRANCE. THE SMELL OF THE PLACE WAS EXACTLY AS I REMEMBERED, AND THE FEELING IT GAVE ME GAVE MY SUPER SHLONG NEW LIFE. AFTER DEVOURING HER SOMEWHAT APPLAUDABLE MEAL, I HASTILY UNZIPPED MY PANTS AND SLAPPED MY LONG WONG RIGHT ON THE GRILL. YOU MIGHT THINK THIS WAS A FATAL MISTAKE, HOWEVER, MY MEGA MAN BLASTER IS IMPERVIOUS TO SUCH THINGS AS INTENSE HEAT. OTHER CUSTOMERS WERE SHOCKED INTO EITHER RUNNING AWAY OR STAYING AND STARING WITH JAWS AGAPE; EITHER BY THE AUDACITY DISPLAYED OR MORE LIKELY BY THE SHEER SIZE OF MY HADOUKEN GUN. NEEDLESS TO SAY THE CHEF WAS QUITE IMPRESSED AND WE WERE JOINED TOGETHER IN LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS. WITH MY MASSIVE MAN MEAT POUNDING AT HER INNARDS, OUR COMBINED EFFORTS DROVE BOTH OF US TO A SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM THAT, AS WITH ALL ORGASMS, SPILLED COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SEMEN AND GIRL CUM ALL OVER THE PLACE. THAT NIGHT, HER TRAP-KUNOICHI SERVANT CLEANED IT UP AND HAS BEEN INCLUDING IT IN THE STORE'S SECRET SAUCE EVER SINCE. THEIR BUSINESS HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
>>562028820

Why would someone give somebody contact info and pictures of themselves if they were going to rob you? Why wouldn't they just rob some random?

I'm not saying that's not what they're going to do, I just don't understand why someone would do that.
>>
>>562026108

Tinder uses location services which is why it gives you the approximate distance from each other, I recently met up with someone I was matched with on Tinder and the distance said I was a mile away when I met her but 36 when I was at home so the chances are that she was just near your area, even so 3 miles is bigger than people might imagine
>>
HI, I’M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN’S WEARHOUSE. THAT’S A CUTE STORY, ROBOT GEORGE ZIMMER. BUT I CAN BEST YOU. MY MORTAL MAN MAYONNAISE MAKERS AND MY FLESHY FEMALE FANTASY FULFILLER ARE MORE THAN A MATCH FOR ANY MERE TECHNOLOGICAL TOY. IT WAS SIX MONTHS AGO, AND SPRING HAD COME EARLY. THE LADIES WERE OUT IN FORCE, HUSTLING TO AND FROM THEIR JOBS, OR JUST HAVING FUN IN THE CRISP FEBRUARY AIR. UNTIL I ARRIVED IN NYC, HAVING FLOWN IN ON MY PRIVATE JET. AS ALWAYS HAPPENS AT AIRPORTS, I HAD A LINE OF FLIGHT ATTENDANTS A HUNDRED YARDS LONG, BEGGING FOR A CHANCE TO RIDE MY TANTALIZING TESTICLE TERRIER. MY IN-FLIGHT NAP, ONLY INTERRUPTED BY MY SEXY ONBOARD STEWARDESSES SURREPTITIOUSLY SNEAKING SENSUOUS CARESSES OF MY STUNNINGLY SEXY SUIT AND SEXUALLY SOOTHING SEMEN ASSAILANT, HAD LEFT ME PREPARED TO PLEASE ALL OF THEM. WITH A FLASH, I WAS INSIDE THE FIRST FLIGHT ATTENDANT, PUMMELING HER PASSAGES WITH PELVIC PROWESS AS SHE SCREAMED IN JOY, SHOCKING MANY ERRANT TRAVELERS AS THE MERE SOUND OF MY EROTIC PILLAGING BROUGHT THEM TO A MASSIVE SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM. THREE HOURS LATER, I STRODE OUT OF THE AIRPORT WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE, THE ONLY ONE STILL CONSCIOUS. AND MY SUIT WAS STILL IMMACULATE. I GUARANTEE I
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. THE TWELVE MINERS WERE ACTUALLY ALIVE. I WAS IN THE RESCUE PARTY EYEING A PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE WHEN WE FOUND THE GROUP. IN THE JOY OF UNCOVERING THESE COAL-CLAD MEN CLINGING TO LIFE, MY EXTRAVAGANTLY ENGORGED ENDOWMENT FREED ITSELF FROM ITS ENCLOSED ENVIRONMENT AND TORE THROUGH THE WOMAN'S CLOTHES, TAKING HER FOR A SURPRISE RIDE ON THE ZIMMER MINESHAFT DRILL. THE SHOCK AND AWE CAUSE BY MY MASSIVE MEMBER RENDERED THE REST OF THE RESCUERS UNABLE TO HELP THE SURVIVORS. SEEING THE WIDE EYES OF THE MINERS IN FRONT OF ME, I LET LOOSE A LEGENDARY LANDMINE OF LIQUID MAN-LATHER, EXPLODING SO POWERFULLY IT LACERATED THE BODY CAVITY OF MY FEMALE COMPANION, MIXING WITH HER BLOOD LIKE A STRAWBERRY CREAMSLUSH AS IT FILLED THE CAVERNOUS MINE AS IF IT WERE A GIGANTIC UTERUS. ONLY ONE OF THE MINERS HAD STRENGTH ENOUGH TO STAY ABOVE THE RISING WAVES OF MY CAVE CHOWDER, SWIMMING TO THE SURFACE WITH ME, THE OTHER RESCUERS, AND MY IMPALED COMPANION. I'M NOT SURE HOW HE SURVIVED, BUT I'LL FINISH HIM OFF WHEN I MAKE MY ROUNDS WITH THE NURSES TONIGHT. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
>>562031864
Kek
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON MY RETURN FLIGHT HOME FROM MADRID ON HOLIDAY, I WAS AGHAST TO LEARN THAT THE AIRLINE PATRON SEATED IN FRONT OF ME HAD BECOME OVERLY INDULGENT IN THE COMPLIMENTARY SPIRITS OFFERED BY THE FLIGHT CREW. HIS UNRULY BEHAVIOR TOWARDS THE OTHER PASSENGERS WARRANTED A SWIFT AND RATHER UNSOLICITED EXERSIZE SESSION OF HIS VULNERABLE ANAL CAVITY. STANDING TO SPEAK HARSHLY TO THE MAN, MY WONDERFULLY WICKED WOMAN WOOING WONDER WIENER FELL TO THE FLOOR OF THE AIRCRAFT WITH A TERRIFFIC THUD FROM THE BERMUDA SHORTS THAT HAD SOMEHOW CONTAINED IT PREVIOUSLY. HIS SCREAMING PLEAS FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS ECHOED IN THE OTHERWISE SILENT CABIN, AND I SUSPECT THEY WILL RING FOREVER IN THE EARS OF THOSE WHO BORE WITNESS TO THE DRAMA AND FERVOR WITH WHICH MY GREATLY-GIRTHED GATLING GONADS PIERCED BOTH HIS HERSHEY HIGHWAY AND THE SANCTITY OF HIS VERY SOUL IN UNISON. UPON SATISFACTION OF MY LESSON HAVING BEEN TAUGHT, I RELEASED ONTO MY ADMIRING ONLOOKERS A TORRENTIAL TESTICULAR TSUNAMI THAT MADE UNWILLING MEMBERS OF THE MILE HIGH CLUB OUT OF EVERY PERSON ON BOARD FLIGHT 606 TO NEW YORK CITY. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. 9/11 WAS A LIE. THERE WERE NO TOWEL HEADS. THERE WAS NO AIRPLANE. IN TRUTH I WAS VISITING THE BIG APPLE, SO AS TO COMPARE MY GARGANTUAN MEAT TRAIN TO IT AND LAUGH AT THE GASPING NEW YORKERS AS I POUNDED THEIR BELOVED NAMESAKE INTO BIG APPLE SAUCE. HAVING NOT GOTTEN RELEASE FROM MY CULINARY EXERCISE, I MEANDERED DOWN THE STREET WITH MY VITAL BLOOD ENGORGED SEWER PIPE OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE A BLIND MAN'S CANE, LOOKING FOR A HOLE IN THE BACKSIDE OF A WOMAN WHICH I WOULD STRETCH BEYOND HUMAN LIMITS. I SPOTTED AT THAT VERY MOMENT AN ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN A MINISKIRT WAVING AT ME. I SLAPPED HER TO THE GROUND WITH MY ENORMOUS PHALLUS AND QUICKLY RAVISHED HER SKIRT LIKE A STARVED DOG ON A BABY MADE OF STEAK. THE SIGHT THAT AWAITED BOTH SHOCKED AND ENRAGED ME. AFTER SEEING THIS "WOMAN'S" RAISIN-SIZED WINKY WINKLER, I VOMITED DOWN HIS THROAT AND PENETRATED HIS ESOPHAGUS, RIPPED OUT HIS SPINE AND PEELED HIS CORPSE FROM MY MONEYMAKER. TO TEACH ALL OF NEW YORK A LESSON FOR LETTING THIS FLAMING FAG BAG LIVE, I LET LOOSE A SEMENAL FLOOD OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS UPON THE TOWERS OF TWO (AT WHOM'S SMALL SIZE I LAUGHED LIKE A CLOWN RAPING AN 8 YEAR OLD), WHICH CAUSED THEM TO COME CRASHING DOWN LIKE ME AFTER A WEEKEND METH BINGE. I MOCKED THE NEW YORKERS AND MADE NIGGER JOKES AS THEY RAN FROM MY EVER EXPANDING CLOUD OF SPERMAZOA, MASTURBATING TO THE LOOKS OF HORROR ON THEIR FACES. THE GOVERNMENT, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE FACE AND BECAUSE THEY HATE ARABS MORE THAN JEWS, PAINTED A BOEING 767 ON MY GIGANTIC COCK AND CALLED IT A TERRORIST ATTACK. THE FEELING OF PAINTBRUSHES ON MY DICK MADE ME COME AGAIN, AND PRESIDENT BUSH SNORTED UP EVERY LAST DROP BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS COKE. I GUARANTEE IT.
>>
>>562030776

I ain't near newport I'm about an hour away too bad, cause I'd be down to wingman.
>>
>>562033082
why only 1? make it like 20 extra large pizzas with the chocolate cake things they have. fuck you anon im hungry, fuck being a poor college fag
>>
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>>562033082
More :^)
>>
>>562034256
Too lazy. Plus they'll call to confirm it if it's a big order. And that email address only lasts around 30 minutes
>>
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>>562034418
Here we go niggers
>>
I wanna know what happens
>>
>>562034256
Poor college fag here.

I usually buy Ramen noodles and add like pepperonis in it. Try that sometime.
>>
OP is fucking retarded
>>
>>562035219
The delivery guy wastes time delivering to an apartment complex without an apartment number and misses out on some tips.
>>
>>562035448
my roomate bought pizza rolls last semester. those things are fatteing as hell and taste like shit but god damn did they feel like real shit. havent eaten real good since the frat party we had last year
>>
sounds like those "girls" on facebook who want you to sign up on a website to "verify your age" and say they'll "pay you back if it's really that big of a deal, lol go back to masturbating to pictures on the internet"


:(
>>
>>562035002
premium kek
>>
>>562036523
sorry, craigslist. not facebook.
>>
ok im still talking to her. she sent a selfie of her lying on her bed but she said her snapchat doesnt work and when I asked for skype she said "forget it. bye"

wat do
>>
>>562036814
Follow the Domino's delivery guy. Maybe video tape him getting mugged by them?
>>
>>562036814

if she won't skype, don't bother tryin' bitch is setting you up. you need to find a few bro's who are down to all wingman to her address she gave you.
>>
>>562036814
ASK FOR APARTMENT NUMBER
>>
U HAVE BEEN VISITED BY A BRAVE WARRIOR OF ISLAM

</?\
<(?`_´)
<,???? ? -- - - -- - -- Allahu Akbar ???? ????
</?\

U MUST HELP HIM ON HIS QUEST TO DISPOSE INFIDELS, COPY N PASTE THIS TOO 5 OTHER THREADS……………… OR YOU'RE HOUSE WILL BE BOMBED AT MIDNIGHT…………….……...
>>
>>562028569
Hell neighbor, from huntington beach!
>>
>>562036814
nut real

sorta feel bad for doing this but i used to get girls on tinder to give me noodes by making a fake profile. never using snapchat or skype is a dead give away. snapchat isnt broken.
>>
>>562036814
you need to follow that pizza guy
>>
>>562036814
MEET UP AT THEAPARTMENT WITH TE PIZZAA GUY
>>
>>562036814
ask for apartment number faggot
>>
>>562037194
Hello*
>>
>>562036814
Tell her you're out front
>>
>>562024976
OP, ask for nudes.
>>
>>562038034
Or tell her you work for domino's and you're delivering to her neighbor so you'll stop by
>>
wait for pizza man, then say you're out front.
>>
>>562024976
Fuck dude. Do it! MMF is hot as shit!!!
>>
>>562031864
can order pizza for me?
>>
lol really? a you think a model wants you to come fuck her? its obv a gay guy. youll show up and itll be some gay guy "oohhh sorrryyy she just left but you can still fuck meeee"
>>
>>562039450
Faggot detected
>>
>>562039250
Phone, address, city, and state please
>>
>>562039936
agree
>>
>>562039936
Ayy lmao

On 4chan ? Seriously ?
>>
>>562040087
Yeah. If they're dumb enough to post it, I'll order them 20. Pay at door of course :^)
>>
Inb4 the guy gives out the white house address info and the special instructions for the domino driver is "Punch Obama" or some silly shit revolving how he fucked us all.>>562039250
>>562039936
>>
Ok so I called her on the phone and talked to her. Sounded like a chick but she was saying how she's busy and just wants to have fun. She refused to give me her apartment number because she wants to meet me outside.

Should I fucking do this?
>>
Did the pizza get delivrared yet?
>>
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>>562035002
HOLY SHIT THEY ACTUALLY DELIVERED IT >:^)
>>
>>562040662
Say yes, then don't show
>>
>>562040662
Meet in public place then bail when you see it's a 50 year old man wanting to plow your boipussy
>>
>>562040662
Ask her if she enjoyed her fookin pizza m8
>>
>>562039936
1003 city creek road, pocatello id
>>
>>562040662
Masturbate op. Then realize how idiotic you seem for considering going.
>>
fuck that dont do it op
>>
>>562037194
i'm in irvine
sup
>>
>>562040662

god dammit, if you have to keep asking others for permission because you can't make up your mind then you don't deserve to get laid. But if something should happen to you we now have proof.
>>
>>562040662
Do it dude. It's a twofer.
>>
>>562041289
G'day chap.
>>
OP don't be a stupid faggot. That's sketchier than an indian boy drawing a nigger.
>>
>>562041289
In corona
sup
>>
sounds sketchy bro.

even if she got on skype wiht you, she could have her two huge friends just waiting right inside the door of her house to mug your shit for ur car / wallet etc..

then again, you could be passing up a threesom with a hot girl (and her boyfriend so thats not the best possibility)

i wouldn't do it. her pic seems too hot to be true, and the second girl doesnt look exactly like her.
>>
>>562028820
They *do* use tindr, just to fuck lots of random guys without their friends knowing and judging them.

OP, on the other hand, is not nearly good looking enough for this girl.
>>
second pic * but ye
>>
>>562024976
Go fuck her right in her boy pussy
>>
>>562040662
This is a fake thread
>OP Doesn't help
>Convient excuses
>Sage
>>
>>562039450
This, dude. This is the truth. Fags do this on Craigslist in my area all the time. That's why she's saying "fuck my bf first then me". She's never going to give it up and probably doesn't exist.
>>
I'm gonna go guys but i got a homie rolling with me. I'll tell her to come outside to me so I can make sure I'm not about to get fucked up.

Wish me luck
>>
>>562041824
This is now a California thread
>>
>>562043032
ayyyyyy

What ya know about santee, mon!
>>
>>562043004

take pictures and give update, interested to know what happens.
>>
>>562043303
Dafuk is santee
>>
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>>562041149
Enjoy faggot
>>
Alright dude here's what you do:

1. Go to the place, and park around the block
2. Text her and say you'll be outside in a minute, come meet me
3. Leave everything except your car key in the car
4. Hide your car key in a random spot
5. Go see them
>>
>>562043505
The asshole of La mesa
>>
>>562043695
Never even heard of it lmao
>>
>>562044095
Southern cali, hbu?
>>
fuck this guy better be posting updates im really excited to hear about him getting jumped and/or raped
>>
Garden grove in the house!
>>
>>562043646
You're a cool guy
>>
>>562043004
Please update
>>
>>562044339
Huntington beach
>>
>>562024976
just message saying that you went there and it wasn't her. even if you didnt go
>>
>>562044339
I know la mesa just not wherever the fuck you initially said lol
>>
>>562024976
You dumb motherfucker. You're still trying to rationalize this so that you think you're still getting some pussy. Just look this girl up and call her at her real number and tell her someone's running a scam with her pics. It has to be a scam. This isn't real.
>>
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>>562024976
nigga you getting double dicked
>thats a tarp, my /b/rethren
>>
>>562044339
I'm in Vista and one of my closest friends lives in La Mesa
>>
HB in the house let's go rape this bitch!
>>
>>562033239
It's a lot easier to rob someone completely unaware that they are going to be robbed, did this not apply to you the whole crime isn't in daylight and remains within the confides of that apartment
>>
>>562046204
Let's touch tips
>>
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Maybe she's still hungry
>>
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>>562031864
Oh /b/ <3
>>
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>>562046806
Nigga you gay.

I'm in.
>>
lol at pizza, hope you guys are ordering from different shops before they get suspicious.

we gotta keep this thread alive for OP so we can get update.
>>
>>562046931
Sheeeeit. My /b/rotha!
>>
>>562047941
I didn't even check the shop thing, but I think it might be the same one. It's been sitting on prep for a while, so I think they figured something out. Oh well
>>
>>562047257
If you're in your mid 20s were probably Eskimo brothers
>>
>>562047000
Trips. I'll tack on triple dips for the next order.
>>
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>>562046931
MFW, OP gets pizza raped with a pie he caused to be ordered.
>>
>>562048132
Actually, forget that. It just went to bake, so it's a go.
>>
>>562048132
You nigger. Find another shop. There should be a papa johns nearby
>>
>>562043691
Good idea with the key bit, I don't think OP will need to do any of those though
>implying OP isn't the master of fake threads :(
>>
>>562048406
nah man it worked>>562048317
>>
someone call up pizza slut or another shop.
>>
>>562048165
30 here m8
Yup old man balls
>>
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>>562048187
I'm tempted to give the phone number and address of a neighbor just to watch the pizza arrive and the confusion begin.
Also holy phock trips.
>>
I'm more inclined to believe the idea that's it's a gay dude trying to lure you in.

Think about it: If you were using Tinder to trick people into meeting up for the purpose of robbing them, why would you ever purpose "Come fuck me and my boyfriend." and then "Fuck my boyfriend then me.". Why not just "Hey, my boyfriend's on vacation, you should come over and fuck me.", most people after hearing they have to fuck a dude would deny the offer and never meet up. This is clearly the gay dude checking if you're down to fuck a guy, and then when you show up, he says "Hey, my girlfriend will be back in a few, she just ran to the store for more condoms, lets fuck until she gets back.", and then long story short there is no girlfriend, and the gay dude nuts on your face.
>>
Op where the fuck did you go faggot
>>
>>562049171
really wish someone else was close enough to get video.
>>
>>562046931
Good ol' Trenton has left the store to deliever
>>
>>562049171
Do it faggot
>>
2319 i repeat 2319
>>
>>562050009
WHAT DO THE NUMBERS MEAN, MASON!?
>>
>>562049487
>...and then long story short there is no girlfriend, and the gay dude nuts on your face.

Speaking from experience, I assume.
>>
>>562050538
So close to quads tho
>>
>>562046931
kek
>>
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>>
BAMP THIS SHET
>>
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Op where the fuck are you man? We need entertainment. Also
Inb4 thread is kil
>>
Be careful OP, shit happens

>back on land after crew change
>in New Orleans
>divers hit up local whores
>one of the tinders goes to a kinky whore
>she ties him up
>puts pillow case over his head
>she leaves room
>guy in spider man costume with his cock out pulls pillow case off and starts fucking him
>take him money and leave him tied up
>get call the next morning after cleaning lady found him
>>
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>>562051340
Negro
>>
>>562051418
Thank mr skeltal
>>
yes, plsss no 404, you should be updating this shit from your mobile god dammit.
>>
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>>562051418
Bamp for te love of god pizza man!
>>
>>562051921
Oh long Johnson
>>
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MAY DAY MAY DAY THIS BITCH IS GOIN DOOOOWN
>>
Bamp
>>
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>>562052156
Oh don piaaaaano
>>
http://plug.dj/stream-music-browse-4chan/ fun times
>>
>>562052253
Boomp
>>
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Plz op
>>
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>>562052641
Are you actually Joni?
>>
>>562024976
dude you know you would still have to have gay sex right??
>>
Boop
>>
>>562052641
That ID tho. Sup Joni
>>
>>562052825
lold
>>
Bemp
>>
if op was smart, he would've brought gay wingman to take care of boyfriend leaving just her for him.
>>
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>>562053095
Glad I could be of use :^)
>>
Who the fuck is this I live in buena park lmao
>>
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>>562053023
Sup homie
>>
>>562052560
trey b.?
>>
>>562053650
We'll bang, okay?
>>
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OP
Is clearly a penis.

Where is penis??
>>
Time to come to terms with the fact that OP is our black father. He ain't coming back
>>
>>562051586
this is my greatest fear. im in talks right now with "a guy" and his "escort friend" who want to take my virginity. sounds too good to be true, like ill be murdered so i havent done it yet, but i check out her site and she is a legit high class escort, like 1000$ a night and hot. im guessing if its real he's just paying her for his fantasy of fucking a virgin guy while he watches or some sick shit. either that or im being set up to be killed.
>>
>>562054184
Be careful, anon
>>
>>562054150
I want to know if he finds the love of his life or if he gets fucked in the ass.

I need closure.
>>
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Op is Candice Davenport and she's trying to get you all to maker her famous.
>>
>>562054584
I'd rather bang her while she wears my pizza slices ogre her breasts :^)
>>
>>562054584
She just got us to
Order her about 5 pizzas so maybe she's just poor and hungry
>>
BAMP
>>
anyone know how long ago he "left?"
>>
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Op is kill
>>
>>562042749
>Sage not Sage
>Faggot
>>
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>>562055346
Hour ago fuck.
>>
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Looking for weed in the Laguna Niguel area! Anyone got anything?
>>
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>>562055816
I'll give you weed if you give me OP
>>
>>562055978

I wonder if they enjoyed all that pizza they got haha
>>
>>562044934
Why not order your own fucking pizza?
>>
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Thread is gone dye
>>
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>>562056163
OP probably just arrived to a scene of mass pizza hysteria and 2 gay doods
>>
hey guys I'm a faggot who never order pizza's online. how?
>>
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I'm abandoning thread, I can't hold
It together for you OP.

we shall reunite later!
>>
>>562056824

nooooooooo.
>>
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>>562057018
Yeah

OP if by some miracle you manage to stop
Sucking dick and see this you need to remake the thread later and report on how the cum tasted.
>>
>>562055816
Weed and vicodin. Mah nigga
>>
We will never know the tale of a true faggot
>>
>>562057515
HOW ABOUT OP INSTEAD?
>>
>>562057651
Face it bro. Op is probably kill
>>
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OK UPDATE FAGGOTS

So I ended up going and got there around 10PM. It was at the apartment complexes so I gave her a call asking where I should park. She then proceeded to bullshit me about how her mom is home and she can't let anyone in but at the same time her boyfriend is there. So I pretty much requested proof from here asking here to come outside, turn a light on, or take a picture of my car or SOME SHIT but she kept having an excuse. Then she told me to fuck her boyfriend tonight (LOL) and come back tomorrow morning to fuck her so I pretty much said peace.

I also saw the Dominos guys fucking circle the place like 15 times. poor dude. I would of snapped a pic but I was on the phone with her the whole fucking time.
>>
>>562057930
We have to hope he went out in a blaze of glory and pizza
>>
>>562058171
I can't tell who's shitting us more, OP or gf. Either way welcome back. We thought you were kill.
>>
>>562058171
Go fap and then go to sleep. Peace out
Motherfucker.

Also YOU'RE WELCOME FOR HOLDING YOUR THREAD DOWN FOR YOU
>>
>>562058171
You should have said yes and asked for the apartment number so you could tell the pizza guy/let us order more pizza. Nigger
>>
ITT: The OP got everyone to buy him free pizza and that's all.
>>
>>562058804

word, kinda disappointed dunno who the better liar is girl or op
>>
I bet the op gets raped.
>>
>>562059138
Are you unaware of how online ordering works you dumb stupid fuck
>>
>>562059138

lolol touche
>>
>>562059138
Kudos to OP if he's this good
>>
>>562059332

op came back fuckwit.
>>
>>562050665
Kek
>>
>>562031864
I feel bad for the pizza guy
>>
>>562059610
>>562058171

yea im a stupid fuck, anyway kek at the dominos delivery guy.
>>
ITT: a whole group of retards lacks the understanding of ordering pizza online and selecting "Cash" as payment

>also some shit OP made up about tindr
>>
>>562054380
Worse than that you will be raped by boi fist and then killed and then raped again
>>
>>562058546
>>562058804
>>562059205
>>562059138
>>562059103

Nah man you don't understand how sketched out I was. This bitch has pictures of herself looking rich as fuck on her IG but then this apartment complex/homes didn't look too affluent. Was so fucking weird. No-Fap august is getting to my head.

She's telling me to come back at 9am which no way in hell will happen. I asked for her apartment number but she refused pretty much. it was most def a chick I was talking to but she's giving me nothing besides her 'boyfriend'.

Honestly I should of just had an unsuspecting third wheel come a long and see what would of happened. Baited him into it.
>>
>>562060446
7/10 story anyway
>>
>>562060446
you should have invited a friend and been like "free pussy... or dick. not sure which, but still free sex!"
>>
Op doesn't seem very experienced with tinder. hell I've met up with craigslist girls who wanted to fuck. just tell a buddy where you'll be, keep your phone and a knife close by and you'll be ok. I doubt she wants to tie you up and torture you. just go fuck her and her bf already.
>>
>>562041289
Mission Viejo here. SoCal bros unite
>>
>>562060861
Confirmed this is the girls bf tryna back her up
>>
>>562060861
She wants me to fuck her BOYFRIEND and then fuck her after. Do you really think that would work out? I dont even like dudes but I'd do a MMF. But fucking a dude to be able to fuck a girl? That's mad.

I'll give you guys the number if you want?
>>
>>562040662
Bring a knife and a gun dude
>>
>>562060446
Clearly it was a guy trying to fuck you.

There was no girl.

Hence the 'boyfriend tonight, me tomorrow' shit.

Common man.
>>
>>562061289
There's always a first. She's hot dude, I'd fuck her mom, dad, sister, uncle in any order to fuck her. Who knows she's probably afraid too, and mentions the bf because he's into cuckolding.
>>
>>562040852
KEK now we repeat the cycle over and over
>>
>>562058171
thread still baking and OP still alive

all around good night

obamanotbad.jpeg
>>
>>562056170
bc having someone over 4chan do it is so much better
>>
>>562061289
Number please
>>
>>562061289

post number, let madness sue.
>>
>>562062585
I can see it now "hello, I'd like to order a pizza. I heard you had a few ;)))))"
>>
File: 1359948064452.jpg (27KB, 383x472px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1359948064452.jpg
27KB, 383x472px
>>562061832
>>562061780

I would of taken more pics. She's still texting me and I asked if she would be there for the whole thing. She's saying it would be one on one. SO essentially I'd have to fuck a dude before I fuck her and who knows if she just backs out. Some of you might be willing to take that risk but I'm a handsome young white male who doesn't wanna plunge some other dudes butthole for a chance to fuck a chick.

I've asked her a ton of times for a picture of her boyfriend and she just calls me stupid and threatens to break it off. Refuses to give me any shred of evidence. Even if I did end up fucking her I'd probably not be satisfied knowing what I went through.
>>
>>562062585

*ensue

>>562062854


I got the burner on my phone, So I'm down to call.
>>
>>562028921
>George Zimmer

kek
>>
>>562062993
text her "send me a pic of your fuckin faggot boyfriend so i can at least know if i can stay hard long enough to make him my bitch like im gonna do to you"
>>
>>562062993
give the number then so the rest of us can have some fun.
>>
>>562062993
nah fuck that. good decision. don't fuck a dude. there's never any need.

pussy is great but not at the cost of you giving a reach-around. I have nothing against gay people, but there's no amount of pussy you could throw at me to even have me consider dicking

stay with your convictions my west coast brethren.

captcha John devothei
>>
>>562037194
huntington beach master race reporting
>>
>>562063520
>>562063520
>>562063520
>>562063520


this
>>
>>562062993

post number on here, obviously
>>
>>562064179
Just read the whole thread. Pretty typical scam scenario. Op, props for playing it right: safe and adventurous. Maybe next time she will give at least one shred of reliability.
>>
"pizza delivery here"
"sorry i didn't order any pizza, bye"

great prank guys
>>
>>562064793
We're easy to amuse. OP
Did it for an hour
Without being here...
>>
File: image.jpg (12KB, 251x251px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
12KB, 251x251px
Mfw dead pizza guy on the news
>>
GIVE US THE NUMBER OP
DON'T BE A FAGGOT
>>
>>562064793
"Yes you did"
"Uh no we didn't"
"Sir is that a dead bo-"
*pizza guy is kill*
>>
>>562065401
>*
>>
Goodbye old
Friend
>>
anyone got any green text stories to tell?
>likes this thread too much
>doesn't want it to 404
>>
File: 1360486400199.jpg (24KB, 500x299px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1360486400199.jpg
24KB, 500x299px
>>562065309
Hold on. I just wanna make sure things are in place before I open the gates to hell.

I can post some text messages if anyone wants in the mean time.
>>
>>562066786
Yeah post messages
>>
>>562049982
What if OP has staged an elaborate ruse to get free pizza delivered to his friends house?
>>
Do you guys know which folder I can find my android screenshots?
>>
>>562068605
Mine go to a folder in Gallery called Screenshots.

You may need to free up some memory for the OS to recognize the folder if you just created it.
>>
File: proof1.png (188KB, 720x1135px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
proof1.png
188KB, 720x1135px
>>
>>562068979
This is where it all started btw. I was just asking her what she did for fun then it was this out of the blue. I was so fucking baffled man haha
>>
>>562069119
>Come fuck me and my boyfriend

sounds like a guy response. kek
>>
he prob paid or arranged for the grill in the pics to do the "proof" pics

btw did you do a sex offender registry search for that apartment building?
>>
File: totally legit.jpg (149KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
totally legit.jpg
149KB, 1024x768px
>>562024976
>>
File: proof2.png (188KB, 720x1133px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
proof2.png
188KB, 720x1133px
>>562069628
No I didn't.

At this point I was in the middle of the desert. I was just trying to get info to see if this bitch is real.
>>
>>562068979
that shit is soooo fucking fake. KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING CUNT
>>
>>562027721
And then the pizza man gets raped, and that's one less person getting fucking pizza today isn't it, YOU FUCK, YOU CAN'T JUST PLACE A PIZZA MANS LIFE IN DANGER LIKE THAT. THEY ARE THE PROPHETS OF FUCKING ZEUS.
>>
google says 99621 is in AK not CA.. confused now
>>
>>562070180

hats off.

now post the whores number
Thread posts: 289
Thread images: 47


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