This is now a storybro magically lewd woody thread.
There's stories probably, which you can read here
But otherwise it's gonna be greentexts and woody until the thread limit's reached.
>Truth be told
>I didn't even get to grin
>Everything just flies at my face and stomach in a flurry of blows.
>Can't even block it
>Fist clips my jaw
>I block a blow to my sternum
>a fist nicks me in the stomach, knocks the wind out of me
>Another at the same time hits me in the left shoulder
>And a third fist simultaneously gets me in the hip
>Even as i block three more somehow with my two arms thrown up trying to grab things.
>Freckles is the motherfucking fist of the north star.
>I should have expected this
>She's screaming at me
>"I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH"
>I should have realized
>I can watch the girls in the car all drop what they're doing
>Jump in surprise
>Blondie with her makeup, raven and gadget starting up music.
>Glasses not even in the car yet.
>"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM"
>I shouldn't have ever tried to defeat nature, it was giving me so many signs and i just ignored them
>I try to parry
>Maybe i can get some immunity frames if i roll up into a ball and try to escape
>i'm so sorry
>I knew better
>"ORDERING ME AROUND"
>"I HATE MEN SO DAMN MUCH, ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE WOMEN INTO SLAVES"
>"I FELT LIKE I WAS IN THE FUCKING 1800S YOU ASSHOLE"
>Trying to put a collar on a feminist
>What has science done.
>I'm just there, a bloody bleeding pulp in the corner at this point.
>She's not even mad i totally implied she should give me a blowjob
>just pissed i was dicking around with her and making her do things i didn't want to do all day.
>Final straw was making her come back here and sit with me
>Giving up her superior position of power shotgun
>Sitting with me, which was something she DEFINITELY didn't want to do.
>Ruining the next however many hours we would be in the car
>All because she made a dumb bet trying to control me, and lost it instantly
>Gave a man CONTROL over HER
>Made her bend over
>She was returning the favor
>I had my pants down
>She had the lube
>I'm sorry freckles, i'm so sorry
>I'll take my estrogen pills, i swear
>I submit to the matriarchy
>Let them analyze my thought patterns for pro-anti-pro-oppressive reasoning
>As i'm mentally dawning my subconscious high ordinance cerebral konditioning collar, i remember
>I was totally beating her at this earlier
>Freckles is easy to dominate
>That's all it takes
>And i'm straddling yet another angry girl
>Three times this makes it, in how long
>She's surprised, not for long before the fists start up again
>Her face contorted into true red fury
>I've managed to ruffle her hair so it's standing on end with all the pinning down i'm trying to do
>makes her look like it's simply a head of fire
>A burning skull with green eyes, that's our freckles
>We trade blows, hard
>Punches, kicks, i'm trying to pin her
>But i can't seem to win
>Not like i don't know her weakness though
>Grins again, from me
>Smile of pure evil, pure unrated jerk
>Between the waistband of her jeans, into her panties.
>Time for some pube control
>Well, that was the plan anyway
>She wasn't having any of it
>Struggles, tries to kick me off, manages to get one of her legs in between mine
>It's too late for her though
>I've got a firm grip
>And my grin turns to a frown
>My eyes widen with fear
>And she waits
>Freckles just waits
>Grins right back
>Winks at me when she sees the terror in my eyes
>Because she's already won, as she knees me in the balls
I can tell exactly where this thread is going.
>I mumble as i tumble over into a huddle on the seat
>Just curl up
>I'm dimly aware she's still punching me and kicking me
>Words about "Front seat" and "Asshole" and "You fucking deserve it" blurted across my consciousness.
>Not like i care
>Not in the least
>I had ascended
>Through pain i had left my mortal shell behind
>My spirit risen
>Stronger, worldly issues no longer concerned me
>I drift away, heavenly as a blanket descends upon me
>Blocking, absorbing the pain, the hits, no longer making contact with my true self
>My eternal dismissal of worldy possessions, for i no longer held the advantage.
>Dear anons, all was lost
>She shaved, to spite me.
>A true victory for the X chromosome.
>Hadn't even left the parking lot and i'd already lost
>Also it was totally blondie with her arms wrapped around me.
>Protecting me or something
>"Stop! Stop hitting him!"
>She was warm
>"You can have your seat back, stop! Stop!"
>A frantic request
>I come back from my spiritual journey with my head firmly pressed into someones bosom
>Also i couldn't breathe
>Some struggling was required to fix that part, the girl in question had me squeezed up like i was a tube of toothpaste or something.
>Plus into like this hot constricting white wool sweater and a hard lump in her locket.
>I couldn't even remember who was wearing that
>Dimly aware of Freckles demanding she drive and glasses (who seemingly had just arrived at the car) putting up a huss
>Then the car finally moving
>Not that i was out or anything
>Gadget asked who won, and raven stated "Freckles" and they all seemed somewhat unworried
>I was perfectly awake and enjoying the breasts, which definitely belonged to blondie.
>Im not a man of objection
>Spending a moment recovering from my crippling loss to feminism in the bosom of a cute girl
>Not against my moral code
>Until freckles angrily drives the car over the curb on the way of the parking lot
>that annoyed "I'M ANGRY AND IM DRIVING ANGRY"
>Entire back seat gives a jolt
>I feel pressure
>Whatever's blondie's holding below me rearranges, stands up straight
>And i notice a searing stabbing pain in my shoulder
>Good ol Blondie
>My favorite time traveling Assassin
>That's a dagger, and that's definitely skin penetration
>Oh , also that REALLY HURTS
>yelp in pain and try to move backwards
>Her jacket is pinned to my shirt
>Like it's taped together, stuck at the point of contact
>But i can see the outline
>Something long and sharp, jutted directly into my soft flesh
>Not deep, but every time i move it wiggles around in there
>Fuck my shoulder ow ow ow ow
>More yelps of pain
>Not even sure what just happened
>She doesn't even realize, just sees me stuck to her sweater
>Or she's really good at pretending not to have just stabbed me with a knife
>It's just mean
>All i fucking wanted to do was enjoy your boobs for a while blondie
>Is that too much to ask
>You were doing SO well too
>Two days and you hadn't tried to kill me
>I use your coushy chest as a pillow and INSTANTLY its back to murderville
>Or.. front really
>Because i pull my shoulder, finally off of her sweater
>see what happened
>It's a pencil, something that was in her pocket, Dark black, pretty sure eyeliner
>Something from her makeup bag
>That she probably stuffed in her pocket when she crawled back to get freckles off me.
>With the point broken clean off, and the tip nowhere in sight
>Blood all over her nice white jacket and a hole out of the pocket, looking to my shoulder there's a hole in that too.
>That's just impressive
>Never been murdered with a pencil before
>Guess i can cross that off my list
>Not that it really felt like murder anymore
>It just stung
>And i could tell there was probably a quarter to third inch hole in my shoulder with a pencil tip in it.
>Poor Blondie and her incoherent mess of "NO NO, NOT AGAIN NO"
>If those were the words she was saying
>Her hands were in the air, she was flying around making faces
>Finally broken, coming to terms with her ability to hurt everyone without even the slightest inclination on her end.
>A hand on her shoulder
>And she stops
>Calms down, slightly with the words "It's ok" spoken in her ear
>Glasses tells her to go get the first aid kit.
>Less of a first aid kit and more of a pair of tweezers
>Our on-the road surgery (Freckles didn't stop, she just turned the radio up louder) included me poking myself in tender areas multiple times before removing the tip.
>Someone's pillowcase being used as a rag to wipe up blood. At Least it was red... oh no it's just the one raven was using before.
>Some rubbing alcohol, applied liberally by not blondie this time.
>Because i told her she wasn't allowed to after last time.
>(Glasses does it instead)
>Not like it stings any less
>Then a bandaid
>Bandaids fix everything
>And some duct tape to keep the bandaid in place so the cut doesn't split open
>Duct tape fixes everything else
>*Flex my shoulder*
>*pretend it doesn't hurt like hell*
>Im not sure what the status for "Needing stitches" is, but i feel like i don't.
>Blondie hasn't stopped looking at me with sad eyes the entire time
>She stabbed me with a pencil, but i was just being a little bitch
>It wasn't that bad, not very deep and didn't even sting that much
>Twas just a flesh wound
>Plus i mean even if she's a hysterical mess, i don't know if i can count that as Blondie's fault
>Even if i'll put a mark on the chalkboard for "Attempt on my life"
>She was certainly blaming herself though
>I don't know what she was saying at this point
>Small lips moving
>Sapphire eyes darting
>Talking in tongues
>ph'nglui mglw'nafh R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
>Yeah i put my finger to her lips and made her stop that
>Then i frisked her