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Pull up a chair, order a drink, and tell me your story. The Anon

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 243
Thread images: 96

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Pull up a chair, order a drink, and tell me your story.
The Anon Bar is open
>>
is this a gay bar ?
>>
>>558803232
It's a anybody bar. From Asexual to Xenophobe.
>>
>>558803472

You disgust me
>>
Take your time to order.
We have almost every type of drink and food.
>>
>>558803472
As a xenophobic asexual this is my kind of bars
>>
>>558803102

Jameson on the rocks. two shots.
>>
>>558803824
Hold on a moment, my group is still deciding. Thank you for your service and paitience
>>
>>558803753
Just pick your poison, your here for a reason.
>>
>>558803824

how sad is your life. is there a moment that you dont consider suicide?
>>
Im a feminist pedophile tumblrfag. Is this the right plqce?
>>
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i have a lot of useless, needless anger, directed within and without, bottled
>>
>>558803102
Yes I'll have a triple gooberberry sunrise.
>>
>>558804063

Do you have any grapes ?
>>
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>>558803952
Here you are.
>>
>>558804130
Get the fuck out, or do you need a forklift?
>>558804216
>>558804163
One second good sirs.
>>
>>558803102
Can i get a tequila? Feeling like a failure, no one irl finds me desirable. *gasps* last time i kissed someone was 2 months ago, that person was drunk, didnt remembered. You know what? Make that tequila double
>>
I quit drinking almost a year ago and I find it very difficult to get with women without alcohol.

Currently I'm fucking someone no-strings who is not quite up to my standards, and I'm starting to get back together with an ex-GF who is physically 8/10 but a real nutcase. She fucked me over hard last year.

It just isn't the same without a buzz on.
>>
>>558804342

Ugh...dude, fuck life sometimes, ya know?
>>
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I finally got the gurl
>Picture not related
>>
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>>558804163
Here ya go.
>>
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>>558804063
This is all I am ordering for now. I may go with a pizza afterwords.
>>
I'll get a rum and coke when you get a chance.

What a week. Freelance art has ups and crazy downs.
>>
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>>558804216
Here.
YO! WERE'S MY OTHER BARTENDER! NEED HELP!
>>
Hey.
I'll take a Dr.Pepper with a lime. And some onion rings too please.
>>
vodka on the rocks, i need to think some things over
>>
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>pic related
>>
His name was Tayyeb Abu Shehada OP.
>>
>>558803102
you motherfucker i don't care for your advice but dig this...

i'm a 37 yr old college student who just spent 5 fucking years taking like 90 credits and that earned me the "Arizona General Education Certification" and two overlapping Associate's degrees and i also took six courses to earn a "technical writing certificate" and ended with "highest honors" because my gpa was 3.803 and i'm in phi theta kappa and so i go and get in to the university of arizona and i have to be a "returning freshman" and start with a gpa of 0.25 because i got at least one D 19 years ago in some english course and have to just raise it to a 2.0 and then my history is wiped and the gpa suddenly jumps to 4.0 if the four courses required to raise it are an A but then even though i'm a return freshman for gpa status, i'm officially a junior so that means i DON'T get locked in tuition for four years--they pick and choose rules that suit them in that case--and i applied for financial aid and today i learn that i'm eligible for 18,000 a year but because i never registered with the faggot selective service 19-12 years ago, i'm not eligible so i had to send a letter to the faggot selective service and they'll contact the school. my issue is COMMON. i got my first driver's license in az at age 18 and it's supposed to automatically register you with the selective service. if that bullshit had gone through 19 years ago, i'd have free college now; the most it could cost me as an in state resident is 12k a year and they granted 18k.

fucking bullshit. it MIGHT work out but that's the fucking bullshit vertigo i got.
>>
Irish Car Bomb pls OP
>>
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>>558804610
Got you. Let it all out man.
>>
I have my own delicious bar.
>>
>>558804894
shit
>>558804567
Okay what that was, was an American Boilermaker and some Mozzarella sticks with Marinara sauce. Could I get some fried mushrooms and Jalapeno poppers for the rest of my table? The lady would like a regular Coke the blonde gentleman would like some Gin & Juice and our Libyan friend would like some Budweiser.
>>
>>558805361
oops i meant "limbo", not vertigo. same difference though, the limbo gives me vertigo when i think about it.
>>
>>558804610

Didn't mean to eavesdrop...sounds like you're having a rough time dude.
>>
>>558805420
Never had tequila yet. I might buy some tomorrow @ the liquor store. What brand do you suggest for someone willing to pay 10 bucks max?
>>
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>>558804986
Want some money? Help me bartend.
>>558804894
Nice and hot.
>>
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>>558804986
Here, drink up. Sorry for the wait, busy night.
>>
>>558805919
Thanks dude! I'll let you know if we'd like anything else.
>>
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>>558805893

here you go sir
>>
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>>558805149
Onion rings will be done shortly.
>>
>>558806323
hits the spot man
>>
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>>558806323
>stupid spics would actually try this
>graffiti
>mfw this is real
>>
I have an orgo 2 exam to study for but im here browsing /b/
>>
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>>558805162
Got you. What going on with you?
>>
>>558803102
Triple fireball on the rocks.
>>
>>
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>>558805381
Coming right up.
>>558805525
One second for everything else mate.
>>
*Sigh*
Get me a cup of scotch shaken with a roy rogers
2 ice cubes
My life is so damn one sided
>>
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BARTENDER! ... JACK!
>>
I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre coke.
>>
>>558806982
confirmed faggot
>>
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>>558805525
One American Boilermaker. fried mushrooms and Jalapeno poppers, regular Coke, Gin & Juice, Budweiser. Anything else? Kitchen sink maybe?
>>
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>>558806982
Drink up.
>>
white russian pls
>>
>>558807390
Here you go.
(image search for that gave me zilch, imagin it.)
>>
I'm fucking tired of all the jewfags on my kikebook talking about how Israel is great.

what to say to them?
>>
>>558808446
thanks man
>>
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>>558807437
My friends favourite.
>>
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>>558808171
Last one i had. Need to restock.
>>
>>558807404
WTF buddy I ordered before those last two fucks
>>
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>>558808524
give me shot of schnapps please
>>
>>558808524
Don't say anything and have a drink. The silent and pasive man lives the longest.
>>
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Neil Everett ordered a fucking Jack and Neil Everett wants it now
>>
>>558809030
You ordered? Thought you we're telling me your name.
>>
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I'll have a dr. pepper
>>
>>558809185
thanks anon for a good word, cheers to you m8
>>
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Dying of thirst over here...
>>
Just a ginger ale, please.

I can't help but wonder, in this day and age, when the next 9/11 will be. Nothing strikes fear like a terrorist attack.
>>
>>558805246
mother fucking Little Britain... great show
>>
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. my intenet connection is getting choppy, OP. may disappear...
It's been an honor serving you all.
>>
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>>558810731
>>
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...... I wanna see the fucking manager
>>
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>>558809309
On the house Neil.
>>
>>558808923
m8 my drink was fucking corrupted
>>
Can I have a hot blonde with small tits
>>
>>558810962
*sigh* i'll get you another.
>>558809985
>>558809491
One second you two love birds
>>
>>558810926
Ice??? What is this, Disney's Frozen?! I want my Jack neater than Bender's photo album!
>>
>>558803102
I'm being evicted on the 6th of August, pour me something that'll make me forget everything my good anon.
>>
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>>558810962
Your in luck, i had one last white russian
>>
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A white Russian please
>>
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And hurry up! I'm running out of pics of Neil Everett not smiling...
>>
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>>558811293
Can someone through this fucker out for $100 bucks?!?
>>558809491
Hers you drink, thnx for waiting
>>
50 Jamesons and a body bag, thanks.
>>
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Vanilla milkshake. With sprinkles and a cherry on top.
>>
>>558811878
Uhh okay
>>
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>>558811680
All out unless he>>558811481 wants to share.
>>558809985
Ginge ale?
>>
>>558811481
thanks
>>
>>558811878
Thank you sir. For your troubles
>>
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I will have a tall glass of therapist with a shot of Jack. I will tell you what though, the only problem I have in my life is that my cheeks can't come day enough.
>>
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>>558812059
good on you mate,
>>558811818
BYE NEIL!
>>558811993
Body bag pre-chilled?
>>
Yo sorry I'm late OP, traffic.

'Nother bartender here, who needs a drink?
>>
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>>558812217
>>558812372
Your welcome!
>>558812005
Happy b-day mate. Scary how i knew it was even though you didn't tell me, right?
>>
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Whatever... this bar sucks anyway.

And whoever owns the blue Hyundai Sonata I just took a dump on the hood of your car and pissed on the driver side door handle

Peace
>>
>>558812932
Bout time, serve him>>558812537
>>
>>558812547
Gotta keep 'em fresh.
>>
>>558813069
Are you drunk already? That was your car.
>>
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royal flush

please
>>
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>>558812537
Sorry we're running low on therapists, but heres a yokel.
>>
>>558803102

i'll have a J├Ąger90
and dont be a faggot, NO WODKA
>>
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>>558813484
Here you go, Wodka free.
>>
>>558813002
Real spooky. Now where's my song? Isn't this a family joint?
>>
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>>558813278
Heres a nice one, who's it for?
>>
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>>558813301
No. I don't drive that piece of shit. I drive a blue Hyundai So........ wait.......


wait.....


>mfw
>>
>>558813627
Heres your song mate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c71RCAyLS1M
>>
>>558813627
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
YOU'LL DIE AT HALF PAST TWO,
ON A FRIDAY IN JUNE!
>>
>>558813585

dude i orderedthe drink, not a foggot band
>>
>>558814007
Well, you didn't specify. Atleast theres no Wodka?
>>
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Double shot of Wild Turkey and a Budweiser please
>>
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>>558814007
i apologies, hes new here.
>>558813435
Here ya go.
>>
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>>558813898
hehe
>>558813982
It's the thought that counts. Much appreciated.
>>
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>>558814342
heres the wild turkey, I'll be back in a sec with the Bud.
>>
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>>558814342
Heres the bud mate.
>>
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>>558814342
Bud, shots coming right up.
>>
>>558814125

well, i admit you areright. so just do this:
pick your biggest glass, fill it 3/4 crushed ice, then half of the glass j├Ągermeister, rest gets filled with energy 1/8 ,bols blue 1/8, lemon 1/8 squash, tonic water 1/8.

put a big straw in. dont mix it.
>>
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>>558814425

Thanks for delivering op. I'll need another in a moment.

Cheers.
>>
>>558814342
>>558814682
>>558814570
Damn, never mind.
Someone is getting a raise.
>>
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>>558814771
Sorry mate, we're all out of bols blue.

Heres a glass of tap water.
>>
>>558814682
Thanks bud, heres your tip..don't run with scissors, especially when you've been drinking.
>>
>>558815042
I'll keep that one in mind, cheers.
>>
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Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I am SO getting a DUI for this. I'm outa here...
>>
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>>558811112
SORRY! Heres your order, took a while to get her.
>>
let me get a pitcher of PBR, it's been a long day, and it's gonna be an even longer night.
>>
>>558815219


SOMEONE CALL A TOW!
>>
>>558815298
it was worth the wait, I didn't think you'll bring it
>>
just give me a beer
>>
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>>558815479
Their you go, why you need this?
>>
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>>558815479
Here you go champion.
>>
>>558815789
thank you sir. anxiety and depression are eating me alive. this should fix things for a while
>>
> Pull up a chair, order a drink, and tell me your story.

> be ten seconds ago
> be going down the free way
> be going 35 over
> see a cop a cop fly by you like you're standing still
> shitisgoingdown.jpeg
> have my night completely changed
>>
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>>558804610
>no one irl finds me desirable. *gasps* last time i kissed someone was 2 months ago
>>
>>558815789
>>558815837
We have got to work on communication...Take every other order, starting with>>558815773
>>
>>558816056
>> have my night completely changed

Was the cop whizzing past you while you were speeding the only thing that changed your night?
>>
>>558816179
Agreed. Thats yours.
>>
Damn we've been serving for just an hour and a half. You must all love The Anon Bar. Just remember to pay up.
>>
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>>558815773
Long day?
>>
i woud lik two chikens, an do ye hav ne ale?
>>
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I'll take a bic mac with a large coke
>>
>>558816783
more so. but the girl i've been in love for the past 3 years texted me right now after a few months without returning my messages
>>
>>558817063
McDonalds is next door sir.
>>
>>558817037
Ay laddy we do, what kind do you want?
>>
Glenfiddich 18, if you have.

or if you can recommend another fine Single Malt Scotch Whisky....

Outlook on life is getting better. The pessimism is slowly wearing away, and I understand the importance of faith, for myself and others.

I don't pray or anything, or bow to god, just faith. optimism minus the control.
>>
>>558817289
I'll pay you triple if you get me that big mac
>>
drunk off my ass. wife is mad cause i went out to drink after a 98 hour work week.... i want to be here...

>pic
>>
>>558803102
Hi OP, I'm 21 and never drank before in my life. What do you recommend? (Srs btw)
>>
>>558817505
What caused the break up?
>>558817481
One second
>>558817109
Back room.
>>
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>>558817437
We've got 15 mate, hope thats alright.
>>
Can i get an apocalypse?
>>
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>>558817597
I'm more of a wine and whiskey guy. You want something strong or light?
>>558817481
Here
>>
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>>558817415
i sed two chikens and ale and i won't say it again
>>
>>558818000
Those trips

Well if I've never drank before it's probably smarter to start light, whaddya got
>>
>>558817759
Can you wait thre to five buisness days? Or would you want a cheap one now?
>>
>>558818000
>Trips
Alright lads, drinks are on the house!
>>558818053
Listen here, mate. I'll ask you again: what kinda ale.
>>
>>558817758
Yep. That's a good one.

Thankee.
>>
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>>558818000
Wow trips, and here is that payment good sir
>>
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>>558818168
Whole bottle will tip ya 'cause your new to it.
>>
>>558817698
nigger its not a break up what are you 12? she is just pissed
>>
OP, why are all your pictures so tiny? This is weird, man
>>
>>558817597
Not OP. Jack Daniels is your friend, he's sticksby your side through your darkest days and will be the first tocelebrate the good days with you. I love you Mr. Daniels.
>>
>>558818267
Thank you kindly.
>>558818472
Free drinks just for this round.
>>
>>558817698
back room?
>>
>>558818608
Just saving thumdnails, not full pics. This is a bar not an art gallery.
>>558818687
I second that, but only after you can hold your alcohol. Providing if this was IRL.
>>
I want something that will kick my shit in. Gimme a mug full of dubra.
>>
>>558818194
Make it a 4 horsemen
>>
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>>558819123
Have a tankard full.
>>
Shiner Bock in the biggest glass you got, from the tap please.
>>
>>558819242
It'll be ready in 3hrs.
>>558818267
GOING ON 10MIN BRAKE TO OTHER THREADS!
>>558819090
Is cigar bar
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtoTxzxK230
>>
>>558804063
>your
>>
>>558819584
i'm not here for smoking man
>>
>>558806190
Hey buddy, get me a guinness would ya? Gotta get at least a few down before closing
>>
>>558818267
thats it, fuck the bartender
>>
gentleman, the bars closed
>>
>>558820012
Can you play closing time by semisonic first
>>
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hound out
>>
>>558819890
YOU NEVER SAID WHAT ALE! THANKS FOR KILLING MY ONLY HELPER! ASSHOLE! ALRIGHT, BARS CLOSED SINCE I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS UP!
>>
>>558803102
Hey let me get 7 Mojitos and one red death shot

I need it in 5, don't make me get your manager

Also I need change for a 20, coin only
>>
Fonseca Bin No. 27 Port, and leave the bottle.
Tried to score some coke earlier. Got ratted out to biz partner (and ex-GF of 14yrs) by a "friend" I asked to check on availability. Clean from medium level dope hook (non-IV) for four months, only the rare small sample since then. Suspected there might be spy/informant network reporting back, and there was. I pissed away maybe 2k over a year. A year in which she bought a boat and Harley. I fucked up, but damn...sorry that I considered an 8hr holiday...that's not even my DOC....oh well.
>>
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>>558819876
>>
>>558820336
Make it snappy
>>
>>558820104
Now get out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8
>>
>>558820246
>>558819890
Bars closed thanks to this asshole, either of you a doctor? I think hes still alive.
>>558820342
>>558820336
>>
>>558820617
Do you know who I am?
>>
>>558820381
Damn, you get stabbed and your still serving? Promoted to assistant manager.
>>
>>558820381
Thanks bud, seriously refreshing after being out in the 120 degree heat all day
>>
mother died when i was 7. dont even remember what she looks like but still visit her grave. joined the military out of high school. saw combat in two tours in iraq. now 27 alcoholic working a job im way over qualified for because my anxiety is through the roof and refuse to see doctors.
>>
>>558820860
Well, i'm the manager and unless you can patch my assistant manager up, GTFO.
>>
>>558821064
Completely unproffesional, I should have you put out of business
>>
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I'm a doctor
>>
>>558820342
Me? What did I do? Just got here.
Thought this was one of those nicer after hours places. Guess I'll just go sleep on a large pile of money, with many beautiful ladies.
>>
>>558821180
Unprofessional??? HE HAS HIS FUCKING GUTS HANGING OUT! I'M ENTITLED TO CLOSE MY OWN DAMN BAR!
>>
>>558821518
You'll regret this
>>
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>>
>>558821419
Good. This happened>>558821505to>>558820381
Please help.
>>558819890
Nothing against you, we just have an emergencie that blocks us from serving.
>>
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>>558821518
It's all good. You guys don't have to go home but you can't stay here, so get the fuck out and let the man clean his bar. Don't make me push you out the door, it'll only be embarrassing for you.
>>
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i am tarth of brianne. i am search of man who murdered your bartender. willing to hunt the savage down, an bring him to justice, for a few drinks of course. do ye hav ne ale?
>>
>>558821587
Right, buddy i'm completely in the right and my uncles the state attorney. Good luck trying to get me.
Come back tomorrow for a free drink.
>>
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I'll buy a round for you faggots

captcha: anyanal McCon
>>
>>558821587
Now skeeter he aint hurting anybody
>>
bar's closed?
alright, who's the fucking tit that ruined it?

inconsiderate fuck.
>>
>>558821835
Wait what is the problem here?
>>
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>>558822071
Bars closed bud, come back tomorrow. I got this under control already.
>>
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>>558820381
They can stay.
>>558821419
>>558822071
Hers your ale, dude called himself the hound.
>>558821950
>>
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I'd like a pitcher of stella artois please kind sir.
>>
can't blame a guy for closing when the help's spilling gut juice on the floor.

night gents.
>>
e
>>
>>558822525
Well on that note I think its time for another round
>>
>>558822432
RVXDTofE'S LOWER BELLY GOT CUT OPEN AND HIS INTESTINES ARE HANGING OUT! SEW HIM UP!
>>
>>558822957
Hes being taken care of in the opium room in the back
>>
>>558822071
>>558822808
Bars closed, he got ale because he can help get the Hound.
>>558822689
He was headin west down Brenton St towards the subway.
>>
>>558803102
new girl started working at my restaurant recently, shes very flirty and is always giving me these delicious looks. she gave me a ride home tonight and we were having a nice time and i asked her out and she said she needed to go pick up her bf.
im going to keep on pursuing her but god damn i got pissed, how do i proceed? slowly but surely or do i go head on?
>>
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>>558822957
Alright I fixed him but he needs some rest for a while.
>>
>>558823165
Thought it was just a cigar room?
>>
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this thread
>>
>>558823257
Respect her relationship. It'lll be hard but just be her "flirty" friend. Let her know you like her but don't interfere. Be ready to swoop in if they break though.
>>
>>558823257
OP closed the bar man, but sounds like she might be a tease and not really looking for anything else, but if there are those signs I'd say slowly but surely
>>
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>>558823238
I've already found him, made sure he isn't getting back up..you did want him dead right?? I do tend to get a little ahead of myself sometimes.
>>
>>558823594
Then please cap the funny bits and post it? YLYL threads need OC.
>>
>>558823845
Ummm. Thats steve, the black homeless dude. The Hound went west to subway.
>>
>>558823381
Oh right, thats what it is. There's opium back there but its hush hush being illegal in all
>>
>>558824075
Oh..well..uh..surprise, took care of your bum problem then I guess..he was a problem right??
>>
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>>558824089
Good responce mate.
>>
>>558824352
Well....he was suicidal, but he kept rats away...just clean 'im up forget The Hound. He dies in the books anyway.
>>
OP get me some tequila please had a rough night.
>>
>>558824624
Read last 20 posts
>>
>>558824617
Alright. I'm gonna need a couple hours at least, this bloods already staining the concrete.
>>
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Wel, i'd call that a successful thread. All we need now is an extra hour in the ball pit.
>>
>>558805435
niiiiiice
>>
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(Deep in thought)
>>
>>558825121
Got turpitine and bleach in the back. As well as body bags.>>558813691
>>
>>558825194
Good thread OP. You should open the bar more often
>>
i found this chickenhead with a kidnapped underage girl, i said "the girls coming with me" an he proceeded to kick me in the cunt. i pulled out my podcock, activated it over 9000, and beat him senseless. i left him there to die slowly, and think hard about his actions. ye know what he said? i should have fucked her bloody when i had the chance
>>
>>558824816
oh shit son must be have drank more then usual, thought this place was still open. thanks man
>>
>>558825428
Once a week my friend, once a week.
'cept for 7th-18th of August. I'll be of internet for then.
>>
the lannisters send their regards for the murderous rogue, will help clean your establishment, an they always pay their debts
>>
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I had it all. I was the closest thing to a real life Van Wilder you can imagine. two days away from getting a golf cart, the wildest parties, notoriety with the ladies, and the admiration of one girl who I didn't really understand. I made all the mistakes, blamed all the people, and I lost it all. So here I am living with my mom, about to loose her house, no job, no money, mowing lawns and doing odd jobs around town for cash until somewhere hires me. Degree in Political Science, experience in almost everything except genetic engineering. I feel empty and meaningless without her, ikkiN. I'm fighting my inner demons to get her back, she turns out to be my future, my reasons for living, my way to a family, to be a father and a loving husband and I may have lost it all. I don't even know if she knows any of it. I mean, yeah I've told her, but I don't know if she really gets it. We broke up because of the stupid mistakes I made in college and now I'm fighting day to day to pay my family's bills, keep my sanity, shit I've even prayed from time to time. I have been humbled in a way that my pride has been broken and I don't care who knows about it. If I'm a faggot then I don't care. I love her guys. And I'm literally doing everything except I can think of. She gives me hope for an amazing future. What do you live for anon? what inspires you? what happens when you realize its all because of you that you are the way you are, that things are the way they are because of you and you're choices? Every girl I look at all I see is her, I've had a girl, solid 10 in my bed naked and ready to go. I couldn't do it man. I told her she had to leave and she slapped me, but I just couldn't do it. Going from the campus playboy to wanting to be a one-girl man is so bizarre. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. She's the love of my life and I may have lost her forever. If you believe,pray for me /b/.If you believe in love, chaos, if you believe, send me some good vibes. -xaM
>>
Someone pls screencap the best of this thread
>>
>>558825978
I don't watch Game Of Thrones, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. It looks like an albino nigger.
>>
>>558826680
I would but i did this entire thing rrom my PS3. Someone please or archvie.
>>
>>558827219
>PS3
Que
>>
>>558827219
Well I did it
http://4archive.org/b/thread/558803102
>>
>>558803102
So, there was this cage with five monkeys in it. In the middle of a cage there was a ladder. At the top of the ladder, there was a banana. Soon one of the monkeys climbed up to the top of the ladder and ate the banana. The four other monkeys immediately were dosed with cold water.

This was repeated a few times, until the monkeys caught on. They started beating up the monkeys who tried to grab the banana. After a short while, no monkey tried.

Now one of the monkeys was taken out of the cage and replaced with a brand new one. The new monkey, not knowing the rules, tried to climb up the ladder and grab the banana. The four more experienced monkeys beat him up right away. This oly had to happen twice before the new monkey stopped trying to grab the banana.

So they kept replacing the older monkeys with new ones. Each time a new one entered, it tried to grab the banana. Each time a monkey tried to grab the banana it was beaten up by the others, even the ones that were not present during the original water dosing.

After a time, all of the original monkeys were replaced. In the cage there now were five monkeys who sat in the cage, not trying to grab the banana, and beating up any monkey who did. And none of them really knew why.

I'll have a beer.
>>
>>558803102
I will have a Choc mint mil please.
Thread posts: 243
Thread images: 96


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