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Aye /b/ I'm on a plane what do

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 210
Thread images: 27

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Aye /b/ I'm on a plane what do
>>
>>556378876
Wait peacefully until you get to your destination.

And fuck off
>>
>>556378876

masturbate
>>
Kill everyone and crash the plane
>>
>>556378876
Put on red bandana and stand up
>>
>>556378876
timestamp
>>
start rapping some bubba sparks
>>
>>556378876
ask stewardess for battletoads
>>
>>556378876
yell NIGGER very loud the act like your sleep
>>
Walk calmly go the middle of the plane, drop your pants and take a shit on the ground, act like a gorilla protecting its young if someone tries to clean it up
>>
Get the airplane zombie scene from world war Z and play it loudly.
>>
Very gently lean forward and lick the nigger's left ear.
>>
Kill yourself faggot
>>
>>556378876
CONTRAGULATIONS, YOU GOT YOURSELF ON BOARD, NOW WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP OF YOUR MASTER PLAN?
>>
>>556378876

Looking at the nigger in the front, the shitty seats and the general look of people, you are in america.

Surprised there is even wifi on board ? Where are you going ?
>>
Kill yourself
>>
>>556379025
this
>>
>>556378876
Tell Raekwon Don said hey. Address him as Raekwon also.
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjq-7pfcgN0
>>
>>556378876
Tell the stewardess your a super saiyan
power up
ignore the air marshall
>>
blow yourself up and nigga off.
>>
>>556378876
Steal that blafricoon's shades and put them in the toilet.
>>
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>>556379249
This. Do it faggot.
>>
>>556378876
Rachel, how much sleep did you get? It's your boyfriend.
>>
>>556378876
scream at the top of your lungs
ALLAHU AKHBAR
>>
Press the call button, and when the flight attendant comes over - ask her or him to meet you in the lav for your Mile High Club initiation.
>>
>>556379249
I like
>>
>>556378876
yell bomb
>>
>>556378876

Tell the nigger in front of you that wearing singlasses inside a plane is for niggers
>>
Act like you recognize the nigger sitting in front of you and start calling him P Diddy. Make a big scene out of it.
>>
>>556378876
Ask the nigger in front of you how he plans on stealing a whole entire plane
>>
>>556380654
ROLLING FOR TEH LULZ!!!
>>
>>556380654
Yes - committing a federal crime and going to jail for no good reason would be the best outcome for all of us.
>>
stand up point at a random person and scream ALLAH HU AKBAR
photograph reactions
>>
>>556378876
Realistically, you can turn your light and air blaster on high and aim it at the nigga in front of you. If he asks you to turn it down, tell him that you think the plane is "Hot like the Sudan". Be sure not to be looking him in the eyes when you say this.
>>
or scream HOLY CRAP HE HAS A BOMB
>>
>>556378876
whisper "nigger" then act like you are sleeping
>>
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>>556378876
Release the mother fucking snakes.
>>
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Timestamp etc
>>
>>556378876
plant the C4
>>
>>556381213
Tried it, there's a lock that stops it from going about 90°
>>
>>556381716
act like you have turrets, just go "nyuh" every couple seconds
>>
Call the stewardess and inform her that you are an Air Marshal... Then ask her to quietly detain the person in seat 6b.
>>
stop being a faggot and get out there on the wing or something or anything
>>
>>556381716
HTC One master race!
>>
>>556379025
o t-thanks
>>
Jerk off quietly, then when you're about to jizz stand up and do a windmill dick.
>>
>>556378876
shout allahu accckbarr
>>
>>556381716
T3i bro!
>>
>>556382053
>to impress a chick
>helicopter dick
>>
Stab the monkey in front of you...
>>
OP wont deliver He cant prove it
>>
>>556378876

since flying now is the modern equivalent of taking the greyhound bus (just look at your picture) there's not one damn thing you can do that's not more annoying than something someone else is doing already
>>
Puke. Post reactions.
>>
op is being such a fag wouldnt even go super saiyan
>>
Press the flight attendant button every 15 minuets for something petty.

Make constant comments about how the plane may have minor mechanical errors. Question little bumps, out loud.

Go to the bathroom every 20 minuets, and struggle to open the door like you don't realize it's occupied if someones in it.

Spill your drink, dramatically.
>>
>>556382327
this is true
>>
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>>556382023
Yeye, sure is a nice view though guys
>>
>>556381916
>turrets
>>
>>556382647
RACHEL I LOVE YOU
>>
Yell BOMB, obviously
>>
>>556382647
I call bullshit in this thread, you can't use internet while the plane is flying.
>>
>>556382647
Your fuel is leaking.
>>
>>556383191
Dude, they changed that law a few years ago, and they have wifi on planes now, you must be a poor fuck
>>
>>556383191
Goddamn. When was the last time you flew in a plane you dirty sandnigger
>>
Set your ass to "mustard gas" and fart
>>
>>556383191
Do you live in the fucking 90's?
>>
>>556378876
Crash this plane
WITH NO SURVIVORS
>>
>>556378876
Fap in the bathroom.
>>
>>556382647
"There's someone on the wing!!"
And then just reenact that entire episode of the Twilight Zone
>>
>>556383191
they provide wifi now, poorfag.
>>
>>556383191
There are planes with wifi
>>
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>>556383120
Fuck you and your Rachel

Muh pretzels
>>
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Get up,walk around greeting everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you admiral
>>
>go in toilet
>time stamp a piece of paper with /b/ on it
>cum on paper
>a /b/ thread has then officially joined the mile high fapping club
>>
>>556378876
stand up and scream allah akbar 20 times
>>
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Roll trips and I'll pull the life vest out
>>
>>556378876
write down a note to prooooooof!
>>
>>556384229
ok
>>
>>556384185
That's not a complete statement. They would need to say "Allahu" not just allah.
>>
With no survivors!
>>
>>556378876
>1. Acquire laptop
>2. Make sure your neighbour can see what's on your screen
>3. Make a fucking serious face and look up
>4. Whisper "Allahu akbar" loud enough that your neighbour can hear it
>5. Open http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
>>
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>>556384229
u goin jail now
>>
>>556383682
B-but I love you rachel
>>
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>>
Trips got.

Life vest out.
>>
>>556382327

/thread

But it depends, Euro companies aren't as bad as american ones. Went to Paris with Air France a couple of time and it wasn't that bad. Alcohol is free and unlimited even in coach.

>>556383682

Murrica
>>
>>556384229
LOCAL NEWS GET
>>
Mfw can't wait until everyone claps after landing
>>
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>get out of seat
>walk into aisle
>take off pants
>spread your ass cheeks
>take a huge shit
>????
>profit
>>
Pat the head of the guy in front of you and whisper to him: I want your big black cock
>>
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>>556378876
1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim you are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe you but DONT give up, see how far you can get ( WARNING, may result in you being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when you are the only one laughing.

4. when the plane is still on the ground, Rock back and forth in your seat and say aloud "THIS TURBULANCE SURE IS ROUGH!!"

5. Wear rags and a headscarf, claim that your name is Svetolafoson Frojhkyhkjuhjdj and that you are being deported back to Estonia, look pleased when your told that this plane is not going there. say "Really?!, u haf not met me if zey ask zen, ok?!"

6. As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as you scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when you land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.

7. Go in to the toilet and make loud vomiting noises, keep going for a few minutes, then come out and announce to the plane that the toilet is blocked, act like its not your fault.

8. Stand up and ask the passengers if anyone " wants to join the mile high club with you?" wink suggestively at various people...of both sexes.

9. Get the pilot to show you round the cockpit, come out afterwards and say "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGH HE COULD FLY THE PLANE AFTER SO MUCH VODKA BUT IT JUST SHOWS, THEY REALLY ARE TRUE PROFESIONALS!".
>>
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>>556385714

10. Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.

11. Enthrall your companions on the plane by telling them that you knew the pilot of Buddy Holly's plane and you're pretty sure he trained at the same place as your current pilot.

12. Give a fact filled guide of the area you are flying over, this can include " And if you look to your right you will see the wreckage of our sister plane, after she was shot at and subsequently crashed in to that mountain side which, as you can see, her burnt out hull remains embedded in, the bodies were never found.'

13. Streak.

14. Occasionally scream........loudly.

15. Get up and announce that you are going to hi-jack the plane, make to get out a gun, but act like its not there, check all your pockets and then say " OH CRAP, I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN THE OTHER COAT, OK, NEVER MIND!" Sit down like nothing has happened.

16. From the second you take off, every ten seconds say in the same voice "are we there yet?"

17. Keep sniffing around and eventually say in a loud voice "CAN YOU SMELL BURNING?"

18. Go to the cockpit, wait a few second, then come back and say in a loud voice, "UMM SHOULD'NT THERE BE...LIKE....A PILOT?"

19. When your on a small, ten person plane, Inform everyone that you used to be an aerodynamic engineer and this plane is VERY badly built.

20. As you get of the plane, look worried and announce loudly" VAIT A MINUTE, VOT IZ ZIS PLACE?! ZIS IZ NOT POLAND, VERE ZE HELL IZ ZIS?!?!?!?"

21. If you're flying first class, make sure to sit behind someone. When that person is sleeping, grap your motion sickness bag and vomit in it. After you do that, hold the bag in the air and then pop it on the person. See what happens......
>>
>>556385428
Come on man, stop making fun of my country. We like to show our gratitude through clapping. Movies, planes, amusement park rides, flash mobs, public proposals, returning war vets, anything that makes us feel happy in this miserable country.
>>
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Weird as fuck island
>>
>>556379429

Killing you....in the next gubernatorial debate Carcetti!
>>
Take a shit in the aisle
>>
>>556385813
Those are called farmlands, you fucking idiot.
>>
>>556384229
Rolling rolling on a river
>>
>>556378876
Suddenly your plane crashes and you are now LOST. Btw use the white coal left from fires to brush your teeth together with a piece of wood. Maybe you can also find mince, that helps aswell.
>>
>>556383868
thisthisthis
>>
>>556380654
thiiis
>>
Say to whoever the fuck you want "Hey, remember that show LOST, huh" then walk away looking like you're lost in thought
>>
>>556381048
It's not "us" it's him
>>
>>556385968
I think hes aware of that you stupid shit
>>
>>556378876
You're not on a plane, OP. If you are, I hope you have your cellphone taken away from you. You're putting the entire tripulation at risk with your tardness.
>>
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>>556385968
>>
>>556385148
kim stahp
>>
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>>556385006
it's okay, you will find love one day
-Panda
>>
>>556381974
Oh god this would be top kek she might do it
>>
go around asking people if they are an Air Marshal, and if you find him sit on his lap
>>
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>>556378876
Mastrubate on a plane duh it's the only thing worth doing how many people can say they mastrabated in the air c'mon dude !
>>
>>556386517
you promised a gif
>>
Why the fuck u using phone in plane? Idiot
>>
>>556379196
I lol'd
>>
>>556378876
shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride, faggot
>>
when the nigger in front of you is sleeping just wisper hey nigglet n act like your sleeping or kick his chair with yr knees
>>
>>556379196

clearly this
>>
>>556381213
Oh lord I near shat myself
>>
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>>556385148
teh glorious leader
>>
>>556386575
fuck off sadpanda let me in your website faggot
>>
>>556378876

blast your air on the person ahead of you on blast. When they ask you to stop say "turn down????for wat?"

Then hijack the airplane
>>
>>556378876
Lie on the floor facing east, and begin gibbering some nonsense bullshit with Alah on the end of each setnece
>>
Time for 9/11 part 2: Electric Boogaloo
>>
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Yell i've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane they wil all laugh trust me i do this all the time
>>
>>556378876
Ask one of the flight attendants if the flight comes with a "happy ending" and do a big exaggerated wink.
bonus points if the flight attendant is male.
>>
>>556378876
>crash the plane
in George Bush
>>
>>556378876
Rip ass and stifle your laughter.
>Repeat
>every time you have to fart
>Throughout your journey
>Having lived
>>
>>556385774
10/10 for effort
7/10 for content
8.5/10 overall

Needs more subtle odd insanity, like talking to your hand luggage, eating/obtaining as many packs of peanuts as possible, trying to hide under the seats, introducing yourself to the person next to you every five minutes
>>
>>556378876

Set the nigger's hair on fire
>>
>>556388692
Which one?
>>
>>556378876

Walk down the aisle and as you pass the bald guy either smack the top of his head or at least slide your hand over it.
>>
>>556378876

Remark, loudly, "Hey! I didn't know you could purchase plane tickets with EBT cards!"
>>
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>>556379080
>>556379179
>>556379372
>>556379680
>>556382174
>being this edgelord
>>
>stand up
>scream ALLAHU AKBAR
>sit down
>>
>>556378876
Stand up and scream "Allah Akbar!!!"
>>
rolling for lifevest
>>
>>556383596
Don't forget to talk like Shatner
>>
OP
you NEED to take that life vest out say you're afraid of heights and don't let them take it
>>
Scream: FOR ALLAH!!!!!

And then sit back down and calmly enjoy the rest of your flight.
>>
>get up
>shout
>demand everyone's attention
>explain your name is Special Agent Jones sent by Washington
>your looking for your little angel
>search frantically
>reach toilet
>yell SHE'S DEAD! THEY'VE KILLED HER
>>
>go to the front of plane
>open pilots door
>get on the floor
>everybody do the mustafa

boom.
>>
>>556378876
Rollin
>>
>>556384229
did i get trips
>>
Those seats look pretty nice, all leather. Look's like a newer plane.

What airline are you flying OP?
>>
>>556382053
Do this, but make sprinkler noises as you spin around.
>>
>>556378876
CRASH THE PLANE
WITH NO SURVIVORS
>>
Stand up and scream allah akbar and then unbutton your shirt to act like your wearing a suicide vest
>>
>>556390712
no you didnt
>>
>>556389850
it's "allahu akbar!" not "for allah!"
what fucking planet are you from?
>>
>>556378876
Stand in the isle, whip out your dick, and at the top of your voice yell "Why'd it have to be snakes?"
>>
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>>556384229
no you wont
>>
>>556378876
Jack off into a napkin and place it on a sleeping person
>>
>>556390850
god dammit
>>
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>>556384229
doubt it
>>
Do a barrelroll!
>>
kill yourself
>>
>>556383306
Wifi? Not in Canada ... fucking canada
>>
just open this faggot and start laughing loudly
http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWwBRIZY9vk
>>
Yell
ALAHUAKBARRRRR while standing
>>
Limp Bizkit'in
i mean, rollin'
>>
>>556378876
Stand up and scream allah uakbar then open your jacket like you have bomb vest.
>>
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>556391009
>>
>>556391091
keep trying bro u can do it
>>
>>556384807
>http://www.thecleverest.com/countdown.swf
this.... THIS
>>
>>556391480

The trick to get wifi in Canada is not to fly with Air Canada, or Rouge.

I have the chance to live in a real city with other companies then Air Can.
>>
>>556378876
Start praying in Arabic.
>>
>>556384807
ype yep yep
>>
>>556391872
This. The more you mention Allah the beter.
>>
get jenked and join da poo poo mile high club
>>
tirps trips trips
>>
>>556391726
I fly with West Jet. cant beat em
>>
>>556379080
>giving other sandniggers a bad name
>>
>>556392263
reroll
>>
>>556382647
that wing looks poorly maintained
>>
Stand up and do the"BOOOOOM"
>>
Fly it into Mecca
>>
>>556392424
porter > west jet > ac > air transat > rouge(ac)
>>
>>556384229
trips get
>>
>>556378876
>>556378876
>>556378876
>>556378876
OP OP OP I GOT IT NOW
DO THIS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3GXI2gks9k
>>
>>556384229
.
>>
>>556378876
My inner muslim is saying hijack the plane and crash it into a building in the name of allalalalalallalalalalallaah
>>
tripper
>>
>>556381986
on the wing at 300mph?

fair enough if he had one of those contraptions that wingwalkers use
>>
>>556392424

I avoid them like the plague.

>flying back from Calgary to Montréal
>afternoon meeting cancelled
>head office wants me back sooner
>buy a WestJet ticket
>that thing only has coach
>full of fat, canadian tourists
>only business traveler on the plane
>can't even get proper service in french.
>>
>>556378876
Yeah, I got trips.
>>
Seduce the stewardess
>>
>>556378876
stand up and do a dance
but a stupid one
like the macarena
or even better, dance through the plane like christopher walken in fatboy slim's weapon of choice
>>
>>556393235
>>can't even get proper service in french.

good
>>
>>556380914
enjoying summer you 13 year old
>>
>>556393417
and of course post gif or webm
>>
>>556378876
I see you're flying on an MD88 from Palm Beach or Tampa into DTW. Fuck you OP I'm on to you.
>>
>>556378876
LOL OP is a passengerfag
>>
Order chiken and when you get it Yell LEEEROOY JANCHINS and jump out of the plane
>>
>>556378876
Trips, get life vest now
>>
Turn your fucking phone off.
>>
>>556393519

Worst part is, I speak an excellent english, I just refuse to speak it when dealing with service-people.

For her defense, the flight attendant was almost cute for a prairie girl. Got her number and almost thought of fucking her on my last trip to Calgary but her voice was a real turn-off. Why does every english-canadian girl has to speak with her nose ?
>>
>>556378876
Yell "ALLAHU AKBAR" and watch all the amerilards shit their pants. Then sit down and say "Just kidding, saving my bombs for later".
>>
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op is fag, op wont do shit, pussy ass op cant take the heat.
>>
>>556394378
>Worst part is, I speak an excellent english, I just refuse to speak it when dealing with service-people.
>>
Flick that nigger's ear.
>>
>>556395215

Any problem with that ?
>>
>>556393676
No, Baltimore to Detroit
>>
>>556396082

You want to make sure you have the maximum chance of getting shot ?
>>
>>556396163
Airport looks pretty alright, however flying in it looked like shit
>>
>>556384229
OK
>>
>>556378876
>mother fucker what when im watching crashes that changed flying on quest +1
>>
>>556396425

Where you left and where you are going are both shit.

They once tried to get me to DC with a flight to Baltimore. I yelled at the secretary who made the mistake at the airport and bought a ticket to Reagan Airport instead.

Not gonna waste my time trying to explain stuff in ebonics to the niggers at the counter in Baltimore
>>
>>556394753
This looks accurate. Op is flying from LA or SFO looks like. Where to op?
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