>Monday night Raw opens >Roman Reigns music Hits >Mostly

>>3130434
Imagine sitting at home on your computer thinking about this epic post you're going to make, then making it, rereading it to yourself multiple times, thinking about how to make the format just right...

And then you get this sarcastic response, telling you you're not funny and the time spent worrying about that post could have been better spent hitting the weights or ruining rogaine in to your receding hairline. Fucking sad, anon. Go away.

THERE HE GOES AGAIN. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?!

Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Pickle Rick thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Pickle Man, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a FUCKING pickle. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic PICKLEfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "*burps*I'M PICKLE RIIIIICK." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be. Forever...

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*Corbin's music hits*

>Ya see Roman, guys like you don't make it in this business because they don't know good TV.
>Now Minions, that's the true patricians taste! Ever wonder why Minions only talk in gibberish and broken english? The Minions' language may sound like gibberish, but many of their phrases will be recognisable. “Banana” is banana (natch), Bapples is apples, para tú is rough Spanish meaning “for you” and “gelato” is ice cream. Each word in “minion-ese” translates to an actual word.

>>3130434
>>Monday night Raw opens
>>Big Cass music Hits
>>Mostly negative reaction, but rockus crowd as usual
>>Cass Grabs the Mic and stalls while the crowd chants he sucks, whilst being covered in Cheetos, wearing a MAGA hat, Kekistan shirt and Pepe the frog armband.
>>says "SHUT UP YOU GOD DAMN LIBERAL KEK. I'M NOT LOVED AROUND HERE BECAUSE OF FAR LEFT LIBERAL SHILLARY KEKS LIKE YOU. YOU SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS LIKE TO BE PREJUDICE TOWARDS US WHITE, HARD WORKING MEN AND DONT WANT OUR BASED EMPEROR TRUMP TO BUILD THE WALL TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUT. ONCE MY LEG HEALS UP, IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS AND YOU WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO SAMOA ONCE OUR BASED EMPEROR FILES AN EXECUTIVE ORDER AND YOU WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO SAMOA."
> " And for all citizens of kekistan, I will be holding an AMA tomorrow night, 8pm central on the_donald."

>>3130439
>ruining rogaine
SEETHING

This is unironically the best thread on /asp/. That's the real trooth bomb.

He wouldn't even make it to the first comma without dropping his spaghetti.

>>3130439
Just Christ op will kill himself if he sees this post

>>3130485
cass is supposed to be a bad guy yet you wrote him like a good guy that would win the crowd over in a heartbeat