S-sorry Vince I should've never betrayed the comapny that

Why're you writing fanfiction about CM Punk on /asp/?

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>>2884859
I forgive you, Phil
Just hurry up and save my dying company

I pray for the day he comes back and they just absolutely bury him.

>>2884874
>Implying they'd every bury an ex-UFC fighter

Also why would they bury him when they're paying him an arm and kidney on top of a huge load of money?

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W-why'd you make me leave WWE Phil? You know it's my dream to work here. I-I guess I'll leave I still believe in you.....*thinks to self* "Jay Lethal would've wanted me to stay."

>>2884885
>Punk is now worth a lot of money


He deserves only half of his last contract

>>2884885
>Also why would they bury him when they're paying him an arm and kidney on top of a huge load of money?
How new are you to the WWE?

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Listen here Phil, I love Indian boys as much as any jet flying crocodile wearing son of a gun would. But you have to let her go man. If she truely loves you she will come back. I took her out to beaches across the world in 5,000 dollar suits like a real man. You still have your lip pierced like an angry teenager. Take advice from me man l'm the one in private jets and gucci shoes and I made AJ go woooooo, but I let her make her own choices, a-and she chose you. Let her go.

>>2884891
>An ex-UFC fighter
>A reality show superstar
>The Dwayne's friend
>A former WWE World Champ
>Still relevant to this day; People are dying for him to comeback
>Him, flourishing the dying wrestling industry when he decides to comeback, is 100% guaranteed

Of course he's worth a fucking load of money

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>>2884859
Phil, I treated you like any dissapointed dad would. I gave you all the opportunities in the world and you chose to complain anyway. You know I fined Austin 275k when he left WWE and came back, but he didn't go out crying like a bitch. You forced AJ to retire and made up false medical accusations about my company. If you want to come back, you must send AJ into the locker room with the boys for a day to do as she pleases and the next day she will do the same for the women's. Ontop of that you must pay 1million to return and one last thing. You must destroy Dave Meltzer and put Asuka on a weight loss plan.

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Phil, I have come down from heaven to let you know you were the reason I killed my family, that is all goodbye now.

>this thread
Cringe!

>>2884975
This is a very accurate depiction of how CM Punk's return will happen.

>>2884934
>come down from heaven
more like climb out of the depths of hell.

> Vince "please Mr. Lesnar take this 1 million dollar contract, a personal jet and my daughter Stephanie, just please come back" McMahon
> Vince "I'm so sorry Mr. Hart you were right about Survivor Series please come back you can shoot beat me up all you want" McMahon

He's gonna slobber all over Punks cock if he ever decides to come back.

>>2884874
This, imagine how epic that would be, Phil gets eternally btfo like ddp and sting. Sadly Vince likes him and sees money in him, he actually cried when punk left and even apologised to him on live tv.

>>2884934
>benoit killed himself and his family rather than have a match with phil
based

>>2885424
>how to not job

>>2884859
kek

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>>2884859
I'm feeling generous, Punk, and in the interest of fairness, I'll have you back . BUT ONLY....

ONLY...

If you eat this 100% beef cheeseburger.

>OP is off his meds again
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abandoned_child_syndrome
http://www.couplescounselingchicago.net/7-signs-you-have-abandonment-issues-you-cant-ignore/
http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/abandonment
http://www.abandonment.net/abandonment-frequently-asked-questions
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-many-faces-addiction/201006/understanding-the-pain-abandonment
http://psychologia.co/abandonment-issues/
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2014/03/abandonment-issues/

>>2885424
literally /ourguy/

>>2884922

Really funny how punkfags are now trying to use Dwayne's influence.

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>>2884934
No one will ever know it was me, chris.

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>>2884887
HEY AJ, want to go see Despicable Me 3 with me? The first two were classics.

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See Punk, the thing is, that in this business, you don't just walk away and cry and whine, only to come back with your tail between your legs, once you realize you weren't cut out for a shoot fight. If you want back in the WWE, then you better get ready to kiss a lot of ass, and you better get ready to lie down for the Game, at Wrestlemania!

>>2886066
Not your fault he lost

>>2886195
Reminder Punk proved he has more nutsack than HHH by actually going to UFC and doing it.

>>2886199
You're doing it wrong mark

>>2886206
he lost though

>>2884887
i thought she left because her neck is fucked

>>2885332
Vince was never the problem. Gaytch is.

>>2886649
Imagine still believing this fresh after the murder of Talking Smack

>>2884902
This is an underrated post

ignore phil
hide phil
do not reply to phil

>>2886661
On Phil's case, Gaytch was always the problem. Vince is senile now but he used to know when to play the authoritarian boss and when to swallow his pride and that's vital on a business full of huge egos like wrestling. Meanwhile Gaytch is petty and insecure.

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>>2884885
>ex-UFC fighter
>phil brooks

he's won as many UFC matches in his entire life as i've won all day today while masturbating to big dicked futa chicks plowing cute girly boy butt sluts, so calling him an "ex-UFC fighter" is a mighty big stretch there, cowboy.

>>2884859 Man, he did a reverse Miz, well except he never main evented Wrestlemania.

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>>2886994
>On Phil's case, Gaytch was always the problem

e u p h o r i c .

>>2887020
Tried way too hard

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Hey Phil, I recently lived to see my dream come true of finding my father. And it turns out he is an olynpic gold medalist! Pretty neat huh? Well, anyway I hope you come back to chase your dream of maineventing a Wrestlmania, maybe ask Miz for a few tips haha, just messing with you Phil. Anyway it's never too late to make it happen until your body gives out, I suggest you don't do anymore UFC matches that clearly took a toll on you. I saw you on MTV the other day, funny how that is where The Miz ^tm started and you're there now pretty ironic considering you used to hate on him. Well see you soon big guy!

>>2884902
Hey, it's shitty greg here. I hit it first, you beta nerd lmao

>>2887115
>gaytchfag defending Paul's honour
for what purpose?

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>>2891004
Son, what did I tell you about hanging around no draws? Go to you room.

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>>2884924
Hello Vince? I took care of that Phil problem for you.

>>2892984
>he said while holding a TNA microphone

>>2886236

that guy is still undefeated, so there is that. Punk probably should've started on a smaller promotion. Then again, why risk it.

>>2884902
>dumb black buck toothed negro
was more entertaining as Black Macho Man

>>2895157
Funny that the TNA microphone drew more than Phil ever did, lol.

>>2884902
Black Ric Flair is best Ric Flair. Even Ric Flair would agree with this.

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>>2884859
Phil, we were good friends. We both love The Clash, Danzig, horror movies blah blah blah. I understand you wanting to leave WWE, after my Brazil issues and all I was tired of wrestling. Wrestling is like pizza Phil, sometimes you get tired of it but you always come back. You never question what Vince says, you just have to make it work. And as a worker, you're an assclown. The crowd knows who's the REAL best in the world, the WWE fans are all Jericholics. But your family is nothing but alcoholics. DRIIIINK IT IIIIN MAAAAAAAN

>>2897537
Very well put

>>2897537
Nice

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ITT: Abandonment Issue City
>>2886066
>3 years since he left
>he STILL works marks into a nuclear meltdown
Based Christ Man Pepsi.

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>>2898384
Listen here Jesus, I will bury you like I did your father.

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>>2884859
UuuuuUUUUUuuuUUUUUUUUÛUuuuuH UuuuuuuUuuh Uhhhuuhuhuhuhuhuhuh Uhhhhhh uhhhh *BELLY SLAP* *BELLY SLAP* BELLY SLAP* UuuuuUuuuuuhhhhhhh (translation: CM Punk is a faggot)

>>2884859
>>2884887
>>2884902
>>2884924
>>2884934
>>2886159
Cringed hard

>>2898472
I wouldn't have it any other way Carter.

>>2884859
Listen here Phil, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPTTTTHHH

dear OP these are gold

thanks,
a fellow anon

>>2884859
cucked