[Insider News] CM Punk signs for Impact Wrestling under the name

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Phil Brooks has now officially joined the TNA, claiming the name of his famous WWE alter ego ''Pipebomb Phil''. Previously known as CM Punk, Brooks has gone under several names. Some of the most famous ones were: Philipino Phil, PedoPhil, the already mentioned CM Punk, the Punkster, CM Pung, Pipelayer Phillip, Philosopher Punk, Phillip ''Broke as fuck'' Brooks, Phil Macchiato and Mr Steven Barkin(Adapting the famous persona of Kim Possibles principle, Steve Barkin).
After Punk got his ass wooped in the UFC, he wanted to regain some legacy by fighting in the worlds most legitimate mixed martial arts organizations. He turned down a contract from ''New Japan Pro Wrestling'' with the following motivation:
''Ya know, japanese people are commonly known as weak, yeah sure they know karate and shit, but that is all about showing respect to your opponent, I am ruthless, and not a weeaboo like that Tanahashi Tajiri Tatsu guy. ''
Let's see if Pipebomb Phil can officially regain his rightful place on the throne, as the number one contender for the Impact TNA something championchippssssss (current holders being EC3 and Bobby ''I don't shave my pubes'' Lashley (Läshley)