Oh shit the absolute madman Vince McMahon has just completely

fuck this dying company.

Match 1
John Cena vs John Cena in a 60 minute iron man match

All I know is AJ Styles vs Nakamura vs Samoa Joe would draw some dimes.

Also, Miz vs Daniel Bryan in a technical match.

main event is nash vs hhh in a first tear match

Roman Reigns vs Goldberg Main Event

>>2370226
Even the Rock can smell the Narwhal Bacon you're cooking right now.

>>2370240
>narwhal bacon
Sounds good, id'e give it a try.

I'm actually munching on some Redvines though.

>>2370235
Also this is the best, two real men, sex warriors, no Rollins.

Daniel Bryan vs Edge vs Corey Graves ONCE IN A LIFETIME

>Change Shane vs. AJ to Shane calling in a ringer - Finn Balor. The logic can be that Finn doesn't have a match, he's doing Shane a favor, he'll go back to Raw after Mania.
>Change Aries vs. Neville to a multi-man match, add Kendrick, Gallagher, Tozawa and Heel TJP.
>Add Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe, with Sami fighting for Mick and Samoa Joe fighting for Trips. Maybe have a stip that if Sami wins, Steph is fired, if Joe wins, Mick is fired.

That's all. Rest of the card is fine.

>>2370254
>>Change Shane vs. AJ to Shane calling in a ringer - Finn Balor. The logic can be that Finn doesn't have a match, he's doing Shane a favor, he'll go back to Raw after Mania.

Use Itami u dumb retard moron

don't waste Finn-Aj now

>>2370200
Hulk Hogan vs Stone Cold Steve Austin vs The Rock vs John Cena

>>2370226
>All I know is AJ Styles vs Nakamura vs Samoa Joe would draw some dimes.

HAHAHAHA

New Day vs Young Bucks for the Superkick Party Tag Team Championship

>>2370264
UR A MORON

I feel like Itami is gonna be down in NXT a while longer. They'll need a Japanese draw after Nakamura goes up.

Fuck it, do AJ/Kurt.

>>2370235
This but then Broken Matt Hardy cashes in a MITB contract he won in ancient Egypt to insert himself into the match and make it a triple threat.

>>2370286
>Briefcase is made of stone, has hieroglyphs carved in it.
>Still has a valid contract inside.

Main Event: Brock vs Goldberg vs HHH
Scott Steiner vs Stephanie McMahon no holds barred
The Rock & New Day vs Donald Trump, The Revival, and Hulk Hogan
Sami Zayn executed by ISIS via satellite
Kevin Owens vs Samoa Joe cake eating contest
Charlotte vs Nia Jax vs Bayley vs Becky
Sasha Banks vs Chavo Guerrero no holds barred
Stone Cold vs CM Punk
Hardy Boys vs Dudley Boys vs Edge & Christian TLC on Fire Deathmatch via satellite from Hardy's property
Lebron James vs Undertaker
Conor McGregor vs Floyd Mayweather
Big Show vs Shaq vs Dennis Rodman vs Jay Leno vs David Arquette vs Drew Carey Junkyard Brawl
Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon
Daniel Bryan vs Brie Bella Abortion Match

John Cena and Jimmy Fallon will host.

>>2370292
>Lebron James vs Undertaker
>Taker does his 15 minute entrance
>Lebron no shows
>Again

>>2370287
>"The seven deities have allowed me to travel through time!"

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>>2370200
Main event is still Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar but Brock ripped the Universal belt to pieces with his bare hands so now it's no longer for the Universal title and its actually a cuckold stipulation. If Brock wins he gets to fuck Goldberg's wife while Goldberg watches, and if Goldberg wins he gets to fuck Brock's wife while Brock watches. Goldberg wins but he doesn't want to fuck Sable so he grabs Paul Heyman and fucks him in the ass in the middle of the ring.

Scott Steiner returns on the next Smackdown and calls Bray a fat faggot and gets a WWE championship match and wins the belt in 3 seconds. Kurt Angle then appears and challenges Steiner to a championship match at Wrestlemania, Randy Orton just fucks off somewhere to smoke weed and bang underage ring rats. Scott Steiner wins via cheating from a surprise return of Rick Steiner.

Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose have a hardcore match to decide which brand is the A show, Seth Rollins is the special guest referee. HHH interrupts the match halfway through and throws a live grenade into the middle of the ring, killing all 3 men and cleansing the world of The Shieldetty for good.

Undertaker and Baron Corbin both commit live suicide in the middle of the ring after getting their matches cancelled.

Broken Matt Hardy returns and says he's here to exorcise a demon in the McMahon family, because Vince McMahon is actually possessed by the ghost of Chris Benoit. With the help of spirit slayer Brian Kendrick, Broken Matt takes on Vince and Chris Benoit in an inter-dimensional tag team match.

Lana and JoJo eat each other out for 10 minutes because why not.

There you go, 6 events instead of 15, 2 hours instead of 10,000. Plenty of dimes drawn.

>Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James in a "Loser Smells the others farts" match

Step 1 - Fire goldberg out of a rocket into outer space.

Step 2 - Dissolve the Universal title

Step 3 - Make Wrestlemania an interpromotional show down.

Brock Lesnar vs Bray Wyatt vs Randy Orton for the title.

Jeff Hardy returns to challenge Dean Ambrose for the title. Jeff Hardy dominates the match until Broken Matt shows up to beat up Brother Nero.

Undertaker vs Roman Reigns in a Hell in the Cell Match which Undertaker is thrown off the top of the cage into the announce table and dies!

Kevin Owens vs Jericho

AJ Styles and HHH vs Seth Rollin and Shane McMahon

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs Miz and Maryse Maryse pins John Cena

An obligatory women's match. Nia Jax wins

An obligatory tag match.

An obligatory Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Braun wins

A Money in the Bank match with Baron Corbin, Samoa Joe, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Big E, Batista. Cesaro Wins

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>>2370226
>All I know is AJ Styles vs Nakamura vs Samoa Joe would draw some dimes.

>>2370302
>Matt traveled back in time and copyrighted Broken Matt Hardy in 1894.
TNA BTFO

-Main Event: Large Canine vs Demonkin for the RAM title
-Jim Cornette vs Vince Russo for the WCW Championship. Vinny Mac recognizes Russo as the last WCW Champion and furiously gets off to getting another one on WCW.
-Daniel Bryan vs The Miz. Miz goes for one suplex and Bryan dies in the ring like Misawa.
-Jeff Hardy vs Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship that makes all the teenage goth girls wet their pants. Snek fucks off.
-Kurt Angle vs Shane McMahon II. Both die in the ring.
-Big Show vs Dennis Rodman.
-Hulk Hogan segment where he drops the leg on a Donald Trump lookalike in a futile effort to not be booed.
-Vanilla Midget six man ladder match for the Cruiserweight belt
-Undercarder vs DDP. DDP wins in 5 seconds.
-Kevin Owens vs Samoa Joe vs Kassius Ohno in a pizza eating contest

>>2370200

>WWE World Championship - Hell In A Cell I Quit Match
John Cena (C) vs The Undertaker

>Universal Championship - Fatal Five-Way Elimination Match
Goldberg (C) vs Brock Lesnar vs Scott Steiner vs Batista vs Bobby Lashley

>Intercontinental Championship - Ladder Match
The Miz (W/Maryse) (C) vs Daniel Bryan (W/Connor The Crusher)

>United States Championship - Submission Match - If Rusev wins Angle gets cucked by Jeff Jarrett again
Rusev (W/Lana and Jeff Jarrett) (C) vs Kurt Angle (W/American Alpha)

>WWE Cruiserweight Championship - Flippy Shit Match - Special Guest Referee : Vader
Ricochet (C) vs Will Ospreay

>RAW and Smackdown Womens Championship Unification - Kiss My Foot And Smell My Farts Elimination Match
Charlotte (C) vs Alexa Bliss (C) vs Asuka vs Bayley vs Becky Lynch vs Charlotte vs Dana Brooke vs Emma vs Eva Marie vs JoJo vs Lana vs Maryse vs Mickie James vs Naomi vs Natalya vs Nikki Bella vs Paige vs Renee Young vs Saha Banks vs Stephanie McMahon vs Summer Rae

>RAW Tag Team Championship - TLC Match
The New Day (C) vs The Young Bucks vs The Hardy Boyz vs Enzo & Cass

>Smackdown Tag Team Championship
American Alpha (C) vs The World Greatest Tag Team

>Super Mega Ultra Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Braun Strowman Wins

>Handicap Match
Roman Reigns And Dean Ambrose vs The Ratings

>Kill All The Niggers Match
Hulk Hogan, Kevin Owens And Donald Trump vs Titus, Darren Young, Mark Henry And Apollo Crews

>Triple Threat Match
Muhammad Hassan vs Daivari vs Sami Zayn

>Pre-Show Match
Ryback vs CM Punk

And maybe Batista vs A bunch of Smarks

>The Elite vs. New Day
>Kamatachi vs Neville(c) vs Ricochet vs Kalisto in a flippy boys Ladder match

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>>2370317
>>2370292
I kind of want this.

deanspic vs neethammer w/bretcuck
loser leaves basement

>>2370226
>technical
>Miz

Fucker can't even do a Figure 4.