Write his return promo 10 mins of CM Punk chants later >Despite,

Cringe

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FINE SPEECH

>>2286193
I should have never thought of doing MMA as a career.

>YOU TAPPED OUT

>>2286193
That's actually good

>>2286199
>hurr durr, thats cringe
Fuck off back to middle school, you fucking faggot.

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>>2286193

For real though, how would this guy return and save face as a main eventer at the same time? At one point, he was built as a guy who looked like he could cleanly beat Brock Lesnar in kayfabe at Summerslam 2013, but now it's widely known even outside of the wrestling fanbase that he was demolished by a guy who looks like his mom still tucks him in at night. It'd be laughable seeing him share the same ring with guys like Roman, Cena, Brock, or even Rollins with WWE telling me that he could believably win in a fight with any of them

Actually not a bad try OP.

But it would require WAY more than that to get Punk to what once was.

>>2286193
WOAT promo

Basically saying in kayfabe that ufc guys are better than wwe guys.

Not to mention the "you deserve it" chants and subsequent switching off of TVs when he says he should be in the mania main event

>>2286222
This. Only way for him to return respectably is to get another match with Mickey and pay Mickey to let him get some offense in. He would get his respect back if he had a rematch that was even remotely close, he wouldn't have to win.

>>2286222
Brock was TKOed twice and Goldberg got fucked up by Jericho. Almost everyone that watches wrestling recognizes that it isn't real fighting and that actual fighting ability doesn't matter. Anyone that still thinks it's real is a kid that probably doesn't know what MMA even is. Punk would have no issue getting over in the "reality era". Smarks would still love him.

>>2286267
yeah but brock had an excuse with diverticulitis or whatever he had

>>2286193
better than anything anyone currently employed by WWE could come up with tbqh

>Punk comes out, says he's back and wants to main event Wrestlemania
>Triple H comes out
>YOU SEE PUNK
>IN THIS BUSINESS
>Pedigree
>Punk is never seen again

>>2286267
Brock won the belt

The Goldberg thing never happened. Jericho got him in a headlock and they were separated before Goldberg tore him to pieces

Nothing like this has ever happened to a wrestler to the level and on the kind of big stage that it happened to punk

>>2286276
10/10 would mark

>>2286215
>typing out promos for wrestlers
>calling anyone else underage
looooooooooooooool

>>2286222
>Brought up buyrates in a sport that he'd never even competed in
>implying people won't watch RAM, SD, NXT, Main Event, and every PPV just to see him wrestle
He's literally the biggest draw possible for WWE.

>>2286222
If he came back and shared a mutual push with an IWC favorite like Harper or Cesaro. People would cheer out of appreciation for the fact that he was using his status to get a darling into the main event scene.

Hell have him come back and lead a stable of upper-modcarders like Cesaro,Rusev, Harper, Zayn. Fans of those wrestlers will have no choice but to cheer Punk because he'd be the best chance any of them had.

I wasn't watching at the time. How did he do as the leader of Nexus?

>>2286193
I don't think I've ever cringed this hard in my life

>>2286285
>implying i'm OP
>looooooooooooooool
don't (You) me ever again, ya fuckin mark

>>2286299
Unironically killed the nexus. They quitely disbanded when he cut the pipebomb but it was already a joke by that point.

>>2286222
what were they even thinking letting someone with no martial arts experience fight in the cage as a pro?
they could have just found him amateur events to let him fight in, so he get a taste of what the real deal is, and at the same time hype people to see him on his road to going pro.
i mean he could have had a chance in amateur, but instead they made him fight pro, which is insult to everybody who's goal is to go pro, fighters who actually deserve it, and he's only trained MMA for like a year and a half or so, when there are other fighters who have been training for years, and they even gotten their first pro or even amateur fight.
aside from that, it's embarrassing to see a wwe wrestler get his ass whooped in the ufc, when there have been plenty of other wwe wrestler's before him, who have done very well in their MMA careers, not perfect but still.

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>Punk comes back
>HHH welcomes him back to the WWE by putting him in an easy match against some young jobber like Curtis Axel
>Punk gets squashed again
>Punk lies in the ring in disbelief at how old, broken, and beaten he has become
>Punished Punk is born
>He fights some ultra low card matches against jobbers and uses his veteran savvy to cheat his way to a few small wins (basically Kendrick's gimmick, they could even form a tag team together)
>Eventually he goes through a Rocky type montage to get his power level back
>Works his way up through the card like a new guy until he finally reaches the main event again
There. Easy. Acknowledge the humiliation, make sure to have some WWE guys humiliate him too so Mickey Gall no longer looks good by comparison, turn Punk into an old dirty heel, then give him a redemption arc that ends with him main eventing Wrestlemania. Whole thing would take like 2 years to pull off.

>>2286304
>whiteknighting some NERD! typing out promos for wrestlers
looooooooooooool

>>2286317
He's a draw, that's all that matters. Ironically, this is the exact same thing that Punk constantly whined about in WWE. Big names getting rocketed straight onto the main card because of money, instead of smaller names who worked harder and deserved it more.

>>2286318
This would actually work. If punk was willing to play ball that is but he still probably thinks he should be main eventing wrestlemania as soon as he returns.

>>2286324
I honestly still liked him up to this point.

Seeing that he's a complete hypocrite is what turned me sour on him. At least the Rock was a former wrestler who could still carry a match. This guy couldn't fight to save his life.

>>2286331
exactly

>>2286328
>he still probably thinks he should be main eventing wrestlemania as soon as he returns
>Implying he wouldn't
He'd be as big of a draw as Rock when he came back in 2011.

>>2286267

Brock is a freak of nature, Punk isn't. Brock is a former UFC champion, Punk got humiliated in his debut against a guy they brought in to make him look good. It's barely comparable.

>>2286341
>He'd be as big of a draw as Rock when he came back in 2011.

Pure delusion, at the hottest point of Punks career he drew 195k and 296k buys. The Rock drew 1.1 million for 27 and then 1.25 for 28 which is the all time record

>>2286331
What if he theoretically returned on the next Smackdown and won the Battle Royal via cheating to immediately inserted himself into the main event of Wrestlemania?

But he was going in as a heel against Bray's pseudo-heel, and he openly embraced the hypocrisy as part of his character?

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>>2286341
listen phil its been four years, you need to really let it go man. You never were or will be as big of a draw as based rocky

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Except for the part everyone would just boo and laugh at him.

The dude publicly embarassed himself in front of the world after cutting all ties with WWE. If by some miracle they did bring him back, he'd be laughed at by not only the crowd, but also backstage.

He's a joke. Completely lost all credibility forever.

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Surprised to see me? Five years ago I was the first entrant in the Royal Rumble. I lasted in the ring for over an hour with an undiagnosed (makes air quotes gesture) concussion and made it to the final four. I was close to realizing my childhood dream of main eventing Wrestlemania for the championship.

But Paul Levesque didn't want me to main event Wrestlemania, instead Paul Levesque wanted to burry me. Paul Levesque was jealous of my talent, he was jealous I could get over despite his best efforts to sabotage me. Paul Levesque resented how the WWE universe loved me more than they ever loved him. When he realized I was going to win the Royal Rumble, he sent out his crony Kane to eliminate me, and he gave his part-time buddy Batista the 30th spot to ensure he would headline Wrestlemania.

The next day I came back to work, but I hadn't given up on my dream yet. I went to Vince and asked him "Whats the plan for Wrestlemania?". Before Vince could answer me, his doffus son-in-law turns to me and says "You get the honor of having a program with me". It was at this point I realized, I was never going to main event Wrestlemania, not when Paul Levesque kissed Vince's ass so much that Stephanie's breath smelled like Vince's farts. I told Vince if I couldn't fulfill my dream of headlining Wrestlemania then I would leave to fulfill another dream, and thats what I did.

Now I have come back...back for vengeance, vengeance for the dream I was unfairly denied. The pain of being denied a childhood dream lingers. I'm here to make Stephanie McMahon, Paul Levesque, and anyone who gets in my way feel the pain I feel everyday for being denied my dream. CM Punk has not returned.

I am CM Phantom.

>>2286341
Even if that was true, which it isn't, the Rock got that pop because he also became super successful outside of wrestling.

Punk did the opposite. And looks like an edgy skinnyfag faggot who never grew out of that phase when was a teen.

>>2286365
still a better promo than OP's

>>2286346
>Pure delusion, at the hottest point of Punks career he drew 195k and 296k buys. The Rock drew 1.1 million for 27 and then 1.25 for 28 which is the all time record
>WrestleMania drew higher than some random PPVs
Wow, I wonder how that happened...

>>2286393
>some random PPVs

it was the highest point of Punks career and he was the main draw for them. The Rock was the main draw for 27 and 28 (and 29). And it didn't just draw higher than "some random PPVs", it drew higher than literally every other PPV

Even more impressive is that two years prior to 28, 26 only got 885,000 buys which was the lowest since 19.

>>2286393
>summerslam is some random ppv

kek 296,000 was embarrassing and a huge disappointment. It was the lowest Summerslam buyrate since 1997. The next year with Gaytch vs Brock got 60k buys. Even Bryan vs Cena outdrew it in 2013

>>2286398
Give me one instance where a PPV drew more buys than fucking WM in the same year

>>2286410
>same year

Do I have to spell it out for you? 28 outdrew literally every other PPV ever, it has the highest buys of all time

And 1998 was very close. 730k buys for wm14, 700k buys for Summerslam

>>2286393
Do you think Mania would have drawn the same buyrate with Punk in Rock's place?

Punk is a delusional retard who ruined his legacy. He'll have more than enough money to survive even when AJ divorces him and takes half of it. No need to embarrass himself further by doing anything besides watching sports and listening to shitty music.

>>2286413
Of course 28 drew big, it had Cena and Rock, what's your point? What the fuck does this even have to do with the original argument I was making anyways? I'm not talking about whether or not Phil was a draw then, I'm saying that he is a draw now. He drew 100k+ extra buys for 203, in a sport that he never even competed in. If he came back to WWE now, he'd be a huge fucking draw. He has a shit ton of negative hype right now. Way more hype than Rock did in 2011

>>2286425
Fuck no. I never implied that.

>>2286413
Not the guy you're responding to but what I think he is trying to argue is that it wasn't just solely The Rock's appearance for the increased buyrate it was a combination of The Rock and the ppv being Wrestlemania

>>2286317
>what were they even thinking letting someone with no martial arts experience fight in the cage as a pro?
That it would pop a buyrate.

It did.

>>2286446
>what's your point? What the fuck does this even have to do with the original argument I was making anyways?

>He'd be as big of a draw as Rock when he came back in 2011.

CM Punk drew 100k extra buys in UFC? Good for him, Rock drew 250k and then 400k more buys than the Mania that came before him. He wouldn't be close to The Rock, the hype would strictly be from wrestling fans and from people who still watch the product. There's a very small minority who stopped watching when Punk left, certainly not as many people as The Rock brought in. And no UFC fan is going to watch him fake fight after he got BTFO'd in real fighting

>>2286456
I don't think so, the "Wrestlemania is the draw" argument is off based on the fact that 26 only drew 885k buys and 25 only drew 960k. You see a huge increase when The Rock was advertised for the event

>>2286446
>negative hype

>haha that guy who got his ass kicked a few months ago in ufc is back in wwe. can you believe that? what a pussy
>haha yeah bro, he's going to be at the ppv too. Want to buy the network and watch it?
>what the fuck? He already got his ass kicked in the real sport, why would I watch him in the fake one? fuck that
>yeah you're right haha

Saying Punk returning would be as big a draw as Rock is absurd, but he'd easily be a Cena-tier draw again if he came back. He would be a guy that makes a noticeable impact in ratings, house shows and merch, and right now, nobody except Cena/Brock/Goldberg do that.

So yeah, Punk would be a top draw upon returning, for sure and his loss at UFC wouldn't matter because while he's a great wrestler, that's not what got Punk over, his charisma and talking did.

The reason The Rock draws a lot is a combination of him being a huge hollywood star and unlike Austin he has made a lot less appearances on WWE programming when he retired from wrestling. If Stone Cold actually came back for a legit match he would outdraw Rock.

As for CM Punk, I think he would draw a little less than Brock does now, although I don't think he could do it on a consistent basis if he did a similar schedule.

>>2286446
CM Punk drew 100k extra for his first and possibly only UFC fight. If he fought again for UFC they'd probably only get an extra 50k buys. He would probably loose again and if there was a 3rd fight there would be no extra buys

>>2286464
Well I don't have the number and don't care to look them up tbqh, but I do remember the Survivor Series with Rock and Cena facing Miz and R-Truth at the very least fell fall short of projections if not outright have a bad buyrate. I remember Miz and Truth go heat for the buyrate.

To be honest I don't know why they didn't just have a Team Cena vs Team Rock Survivor Series match, could of gave a preview of The Rock vs Cena WM match

>>2286496
Yes it was a big disappointment (281,000 buys), lower than Summerslam with Punk/Cena even. But without Rock the next year it fell to 208k buys. The increase for WM27 makes the survivor series buyrate seem like an anomaly, and the Rumble PPV he did with Phil in 2013 did 579k (highest since 2003).

>>2286205
this x100

>>2286496
>>2286499
Wonder if you'd see any kinda similar bump in Network subs nowadays if a return of that caliber happened.

>>2286285
HAHAHAHAHAHA

>>2286304
>It's still real to me damnit
+
>don't talk to me or my fat son again.

>>2286501
With the network they must judge how popular a ppv does by factoring current subscriber w/new subscribers. How much of the ppv cut does WWE get when someone orders the ppv from tv? I would imagine it was more than the current price of the WWE network subscription

>>2286516
No they judge it by seeing how many people watched it on the network

In kayfabe of course, He should also add that No MMA fighter can do what he does in a wrestling ring.
>Maybe I can't out fight you there, but there's no way you can out wrestle me here
>Connor Mcgreggor rises from the crowd and knocks Punk out setting up Connor v Punk at Wrestlmania
>Punk goes over clean
>Mcgreggor cuts a promo at the end giving Punk props and respect
>Maybe it's best we stick to what we're best at ayy?
>Punk got his WWE credibility back, Mcgreggor knocks out his next UFC opponent in under a minute to re establish his credibility

"im a cuck"- cm phil

*crowd "boooooooooooooooooooooooo"

show ends

I'd mark

>>2286267
>Goldberg got fucked up by Jericho
This has really gotten out of hand

What actually happened (Jerichos own account, cross referenced with Bill)

>Bill said something to Jericho
>Jericho took it the wrong way
>Bill was joking around
>Jericho get Bill in a front headlock
>Bill tells him to get off
>He does

That's it. He wasn't "fucked up" by Jericho. Jericho just put a guy that wasn't expecting fight in to a headlock.

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>>2286973

>YOUR MOTHER IS A FUCKING GOOF

>>2286193
lmfao Punk is not humble enough for a promo like this

>>2286317
>why not let him do some amuture fights.

Because he would have gotten blown out by some unknown local promotion jobber a time or two, all the hype would have been gone and then they would have blew the millions they made just tossing him get destroyed.

>>2286910
It would be less expensive to just not bring punk back.

>>2286318
If this happened on Smackdown I'd be rock hard for 2 years.

And I wasn't even watching back when Punk was around.

>>2286193
CM Punk is never coming back, get used to it marks.

>>2286267
>Goldberg got fucked up by Jericho
I don't get this meme. Jericho said himself multiple times that no one got hurt and he's glad it got seperated because he thought Goldberg would literally kill him.

If someone at the present time still worried about kayfabe and doesn't want to see returning to wrestling that guy, who is a more than demonstrate great worker with mic abilities, only because he "failing" in the MMAs, is literally an idiot.

Everybody knows that wrestling is not a legit sport, where the fuck is the problem in recognize his talent not as fighter, but yes as enterteiner?

>But he is "weak" in real life!!

But this is not the real life.

>>2286973
This. The whole situation has gotten legendary status. If you look at either of them talking about it, it seems more a joke

>>2286193
He's never coming back, he abandoned you, cuckmark.

Get over it.

If only he wasn't such an absolute and retarded egomaniac, this would be a lot easier.

But no, he couldn't keep his mouth shut, he decided to take a shit on everyone he could in all the ways he could think of.

I'm so glad he got destroyed the way he did, you can see the exact moment he got humbled, even if briefly.

>>2286193
I'm cringing so hard. Begging ya to have sex.

>>2286318
I really like this idea.

>>2286193
>AJ Styles cuts a promo on Smackdown in Chicago after winning the WWE title
>"It's funny. Some of you guys actually didn't bet on me winnin'. It's okay. I forgive you."
>AJ Styles chants
>"After all, even if you didn't bet on me, I'm still the CHAMP THAT RUNS THE CAMP! I'm the very best wrestler that's ever walked down that ramp and everybody knows it! Everyb-"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sig6ZL2EkUQ
>Chicago crowd still pops for Punk since they've showed how loyal they still are.
>Punk comes out with a new look (2014 Hair and Jesus beard, perhaps)
>When Punk reaches the ring, the crowd legit drowns out the music as much as they did at MITB '11

>Punk gets mic
>"I'm baaaaaaaaack."
>AJ responds
>"Just who in the hell do you think you are, Punk?!"
>"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe that beating shook your brain up a little. You must've forgotten that I'M THE FACE. THAT RUNS THIS PLACE!"
>CM Punk simply looks on with a smirk before replying
>"I'll ignore my urge to be a smark and talk about how you're the heel, but that doesn't really matter does it? These fans LOVE you AJ!"
>Crowd is still cumming
>"...Styles, that is. I forget there's two AJs I gotta handle here... And from the looks of it... This one is trying to steal the other's hair-style."
>AJ Styles laughs
>"Real funny, Punk. About as funny as uh... what was it? September Tenth? Where you got-"
>"Yeah, where I got my ass handed to me in the UFC?! Yeah, you're real clever. So clever you have to use the same joke twice since you don't have anything else on me!"
>Clashing AJ Styles and CM Punk chants
>"Look AJ... I took a beating out there and had the time of my life... If I can handle that, save face and come back with my head held high, then You can't even touch me!"
>One last crowd pop. CM Punk points to the title.
>"I'm taking THAT And you're gonna watch me do it. Cause I'M the Best in the World or, for you: The Punk that can't be Sunk."

>>2286193
Nah, he can't handle the bantz and he's not big enough to scare the locker room. How's he going to handle chants of
>you tapped out
Or promos where other wrestlers give him shit for his octagon fight.

>>2286304
Kek you got btfo

>>2286365
Scratch the stupid CM Phantom thing, and its utterly perfect.

That's pretty good and a good way to address his UFC failure and get it out of the way

>>2286193

>Mickey Gall run in from the crowd and beat the shit out of him

Y'see, Punk, the thing is... you're fired.

I miss him so much guys ;__;

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>Mix of cheers, laughs and boo's

>>2286365
GOAT