>come home from work one day to find Gordon sat on my sofa

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>come home from work one day to find Gordon sat on my sofa looking through the TV Times
>taken aback, I stutter out a "what are you doing?" as I shuffle into the room
>"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING? GOD"
>I stand there awkwardly as he licks his finger and turns the page with a snap
>"is there anything you recommend?" he asks without taking his eyes off the page
>"I don't watch TV I usually use the internet or an app"
>"unbelievable" he stares at me for about 20 seconds "go on, lets see what shit you consume when left to your own devices"
>I boot up WWE network, some classic WCW Bash at the Beach
>"Is this pre-recorded?"
>I try to respond but he cuts me off
>"good god is that Chris Benoit? Shocking. How old is this? IS THAT EDDY FUCKING GUERRERO? HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR 50 YEARS. TURN IT OFF."
>i slide my greasy digits all over the touch screen hoping to find some Live footage
>I peck at the newest content
>buffering
>[eeeEEEEEEEAAAAOOoo]
>our eyes meet in the reflection of the black screen
>"Jesus Christ"
>the video loads
>I'm visibly sweating
>he sits there in silence with his hand on his chin, index finger raised
>"what the fuck is this?"
>"S-Smackdown?"
>"Smackdown? ITS FUCKING RAW"