>>2450745
I kick the dog out when I'm fucking the missus, but only because the little rat tries to lick our genitals during the act. Which I guess might be ok if her nose wasn't so damn cold.

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>>2450748

I'm not going to force my dog to leave the room just because I'm masturbating. She can watch, or even give a tonguing hand if she so desires.

I don't care if they see me naked. I won't masturbate if my male pets are in the room, I don't mind doing it around my female pets though.

Dont care unless I'm banging the wife.

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>>2450748

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>>2450748
>/an/ - Animals & Nature

My cat insists on being in the bathroom when I shit but if I'm fapping or getting laid he leaves the room, as if disgusted.

I'll change around the cat but kick him out when I'm using the restroom or fucking, he's clingy though and will scratch at the door and just wait for it to open

>>2452194
>cat
>scat

It's just in their nature

>>2450745
A dog I was pet sitting once licked my balls while my wife and I were having sex. Then he got a boner and was acting all crazy. It was gross. Never again.

>>2450745
I crate my dog while I'm fapping.
Otherwise he likes to jump on the bed and smell my lube and try and lick it.
It's just too weird, he goes in the crate until I'm finished.

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I don't give a shit what the dogs and cats see... After all they insist on being there all the time
It doesn't matter what I'm doing I always have an animal staring at me.

>>2450745

No, in fact she follows me in just to check to see if I'm safe or if I'm gonna slip out the window or something.

>>2450745
Only when having sex, otherwise she doesn't give a shit about what I'm doing. Unless it involves the ball.

>>2450745

I have wanked and cummed while both my cats were lying on me

Had to adjust angle to not spray nr1 cat in the face

They don't care = I don't care

Number 2 cat will stand up and look into toilet bowl while I pee, pretty annoying, I always try to pee her on the head, have succeded maybe 5 times, she has a sixth sense for when I am about to release. It's like a game now

My first cat (r.i.p.) was a big fan of synchronous shitting.
His litter box was in the bathroom and whenever I went to the toilet he would follow me, wait for me to sit down and than jump in his box to do his thing.
Most of the time he would position himself in a way that allowed him to give me that cat-taking-a-shit-stare while jamming.

Our rabbit is usually in our room when we do anything, so he hears us having sex. My husband will get up to shove his dick in the sink and the little fuck will try to hump his foot — when being rejected he'll run to his "lover" (a green limited too pillow from the early 2000s) and relieve his stress. The bun is fixed, we have no idea why he does this. Probably the smell we give off? Idk. Everything we do he's there for since he's a clingy baby.

We have pet stairs going up to the bed, and if we left them up he would climb them and try to hump one of our arms. We've started to pen him when doing the business now. He'll still go at it with his girlfriend-pillow tho.

>>2453821
>My husband will get up to shove his dick in the sink

what?

So is it just me, or is this thread for thinly veiled bestiality stories?

my dog will try to punch open any door I have closed so it's just easier to let him into the bathroom with me when I'm alone

he'll leave the room on his own if we're having sex but god forbid we shut the door

>>2453844
To clean his pelvis off. It's a thing I swear!

>>2453919
>not going to sleep engulfed in the glorious ambrosia of sex
It really isn't a thing. Unless you have careless hygiene.

>>2453923
The girlfriends I have say their partners usually wipe their dicks off or stick themselves in a sink unless it's 3am and your too put out to give a shit. We're afternoon delight people, not bed time snack people.

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>>2450748

>not jerking off in front of your cat
>not wiping your cum across his forehead while whispering, "Simbaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...."

I used to kick them but I stopped giving a shit and somewhere a long the way they decided to help out and do all the work so now I don't to jerk off anymore.

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This entire thread.

>>2453397
What happens when you miss?

>>2454008
Audily keked

Jesus crickets

>>2450745
When My dog does something bad, I lock him in the toilets for 5-10mins. Sometimes I have to take a shit or a quick piss and litterally piss over my dog's head as he is sitting in front of the toilets (yep my toilets are really small). I do it on purpose because it makes me laugh

Sometimes he tries to stay and watch. I just stare right at him while going at it. Eventually he gets uncomfortable with the direct eye contact and leaves.

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am I still on /an/ or is this /k/?

>>2455363
It would be much gayer if this was /k/

>>2454905
good lord this

why did I come here

I was expecting everyone to joke about how they're needlessly self conscious around their pet, not how they shit piss and jerk off on their pet's head

>>2455571
How can you say you love animals if refuse to give them your cummies?
Why are you on /an/ if you don't love animals?

>>2455571
>>2455571
>shit piss
That's fucked up.

Giving a dog a facial once in a while isn't really bad though.

>>2454927

Nothing except she runs out the bathroom

She will also make that quick shake of the head that cats do when they have been conditioned that something they do will result in bad consequenses

Her real reason for peeking into the toilet is that she wants to jump on the rim, step down with forepaws and drink the water like a goddamn dog, which is why my toilet-door is always closed.

I was really flabbergasted the first time I realised she had done it, because there were pawprints all over the seat and also down in the toilet and a small puddle of water on the floor.

After that I always closed my toilet door

>taking a shit with door open
>senior perro walks in
>turd hits the water
>BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

I never want to be in that situation again

I have indoor chckens and they don't seem to give a fuck. they'll sleep on the pillow next to me while I fap. they'll walk around or do their own thing when I get dressed/undressed, and I close the door when I use the bathroom all while they run around the house sleeping or eating.

I've always been curious what dogs/cats think of our clothes. does it secretly freak them out to see us pulling our skin off and switching it for another? do they even notice our clothes? or is it long as we smell the same they don't pay attention to what we look like?

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>>2450748

pupper xDDDDDD the reddit word xddd

>>2450745
I keep my cat out of the bathroom when I'm using the toilet but she often needs attention when my girlfriend and I are fucking. The cat gets priority too, I'll stop to let her in if she's crying at the door or whatever. Sometimes she watches when I jerk off which I don't like but don't mind enough to stop.

And why would anyone be uncomfortable undressing in front of a pet come on.

>>2455749
Sorry about your stroke, get well soon

>>2455666
>I have indoor chckens

You had better live in a dirt floored hovel then. Fuck's sake I couldn't imagine all the shit everywhere.

>>2455773
Chickens don't actually shit inside of where they nest if you don't keep them locked up. Let them roam around outside and they will shit outside.

>>2455775
My family has had chickens and I do not believe you.

>>2455773
They have diapers.
When they're not wearing diapers they have a nice dog "tent" they sleep in.

They'll move back out into the coop once it gets below 90.

>>2455776
I bet your family is too stupid to even teach your chickens how to play fetch, or come when their individual name is called.

>>2450748
stop samefagging this post normies

>>2450748
maybe warm her nose up somehow before sex next time. You know, just to be safe.

I don't care what my cat sees, he watches sometimes when me and my bf are having sex but he doesn't bother us, he just sits in a corner and watches/sleeps or whatever.
if my cat happens to be taking a shit when I enter the bathroom he'll panic and run out while making angry noises. I guess he doesn't like getting interrupted.

>taking a piss
>get walks in
>little fucker is neutered
>looks at me with an expression that says "how come you get to keep yours"

Damn it feels good to be a human.

>>2456095
you just did too

>Does your pupper have to leave when you dress/undress
No. It's something I tend to do pretty early or pretty late so she's usually crashed out
>poop
Isn't that why we domesticated the wolf? So we'd have company when we poop?
>fap
She doesn't care or stare or anything. She does have to get off the bed though.
>whatever?
What, like actually having sexual relations? Naw. She likes to watch and I think it's hilarious. My lady friend thinks it's less hilarious, but a hell of a lot less distracting than the dog crying at the closed door.

>>2456240
>he faps in bed
found the normie

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>>2456240
>She doesn't care or stare or anything.
>She likes to watch
?
>My lady friend

F R I E N D Z O N E D

>thought /an/ was the board with the highest vagina percentage
>see this thread

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>>2456780
It is though.
Really makes you think, huh?

>>2450745
There was a dog sleeping in a bathroom where i study.
Pretty weird.

>>2456740
>Friendzoned

I guess. I've been in her since high school but neither of us care if the other dates around. We aren't dating but we still want to get laid every now and again.

>>2455684
that IS an interesting thought

Do they even understand the concept of clothes?

>>2450748
I once didn't close the door during sex. Nothing like feeling your balls gently graze a curious pole cat as you thrust...just as the other begins biting toes. The door stays closed

>>2456890
>pole cat
You have a pet skunk?

>>2455684
>>2456881
I had a dog who always pulled my hair band out.
I think they get clothes.

>>2456780
>implying cunt waffles with microdicks they can't piss out of don't fap as much as the dingleberries with macrodicks they piss out of

Our male cat is always staring at me fucking my wife.
Female turns away or leaves the room though.

>>2456892
Ferrets

>>2456780
it probably is. But 4chan is still a predominantly male used website

>>2457366
Actually, the board with the highest percentage of vaginas is probably either /y/ or /hm/.

Chicks love fetishizing their gay bois. /y/ is probably 99% grills.

>>2457374
I doubt it.

Both of those boards are extremely gay.

Really, really gay. And more tailored towards gay men than girls.
If there was a significant amount of females on /y/ there'd be a whole lot less complaints about the guys not being hairy or masculine enough and not enough assholes.
/hm/ is mostly the same.

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My cats follow me everywhere, so they see me shit and piss. One of my cats will jump up on the sink whenever i need to pee so she can drink the sink water. Otherwise, i dont do lewd in front of any animals. Its kinda fucked imo

>>2455666
Sounds like you're getting clucked :^)
Also nice digits

>>2457452
>If there was a significant amount of females on /y/ there'd be a whole lot less complaints about the guys not being hairy or masculine enough and not enough assholes. /hm/ is mostly the same.

The fact that all those complaints exist is proof that the boards are 99% fag hags obsessed with their bishie boys.

Remember, the actual yaoi mangas are aimed at young women.

While hentai are aimed at young men.

>>2457374
>Chicks love fetishizing their gay bois.
what's the trick to getting women like this to have sex with you?

>>2457472
Fucking Kek. It's a black chicken too.
I'm getting CLUCKED and SLAMMED.

>>2457548
Be cute submissive fem boy

>>2457548
Offer them a threesome where she gets to watch you fuck a dude/get fucked by a dude.

But make damn sure she offers up the pooty tang first, otherwise she will just shlick herself off while watching then NOPE the fuck outta there when it's her turn.

>>2456780
do you even cgl

>>2457548
>>2458098

For fucks sake this is /an/ and this shit is not only highly inappropriate, but also not animal related.

You have to get fucked by a male dog. To have a chance with human women.

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>>2450745
My cat would always seem to know when I was fapping. She also knew how to open doors. I knew it was my cat opening the door, but I still put it away as if it were a friend or someone were walking in on me.

I always kick my cat out of the bathroom if she follows me in and I have to use the toilet because I'm afraid she'll be curious about the sound and come and see which would be awkward. If she's sleeping on my bed while I'm at my computer and want to jack off I go ahead and do it because she doesn't care or watch, she just keeps sleeping.