I want to kill my fish. He has a bad case of inflated belly

>>2391667
Flush him.

>>2391671
Not while he's still alive.

>>2391675
Drowning is a pretty painless death.

>>2391678
I love this board

>>2391678
Stop bullying me. This is a difficult time for me.

>>2391667
Drop a car battery in his tank.

>>2391678
>choking water while your lungs fill with fluid
>painless

>>2391699
Once you give up, it's supposedly pretty relaxing by survivor accounts.

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>>2391705
>survivors of drowning

>>2391707
You know what I'm saying, compadre. People who are drowning but are then rescued.

>>2391667
It's not instant, but look into the clove oil method.
Basically, it's an intentional anesthesia overdose.

Take him to the vet you stingy jew.

Captive bolt gun

I know it sounds terrible, but... Bash it's head in? I always give my catch a nice hard whack over the head with a rock for dispatch. I've never needed more than one hit, so at least it's quick and effective.

Sorry about your fish.

>>2391667
Take his tank out into the woods and do it old yeller style

>>2391732
>take a fish
>to the vet

You're stupid. Most vets don't work with fish, outside of a few Koi experts.

>>2391777
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/vets-give-fish-prosthetic-eye-4973727

>>2391814
>exploiting his disability
>in an effort to stop it being bullied
>he was being bullied by other sea life.
>his piscine persecutors
>he was being hurt and quite uncomfortable
>Now the fish is happier
Is this satire? I can't believe what I'm reading. Did they really just assume the fish's gender?

>>2391667
add clove oil mang

>Starved for a few days

Try a week to two weeks with daily water changes, or a 50% twice a week during those weeks. Do not feed him anything. Make sure he isn't eating anything in the tank either.

What kind of fish is it, what size tank, and do you have a filter and heater?

I hear hypothermia is the most peaceful way to die. Maybe try to freeze him to death.

>>2391678
You cant drown a fish retard they breath water.

>>2392134
Heeeeres your sign

>>2391667
Take him out of his tank and immediately put him in hot water, shock should kill him fairly quickly

>>2392147
Hey bill

let him explode

>>2391667
step on him

Shove him up your ass and then shit him into the toilet for a sailors funeral.

>>2391667
>put him on the sidewalk
>leap up in the air as high as you can
>come down with full force
done

or: >>2391988

Mix in some bleach and ammonia into his tank

>>2391709
>clove oil method.
THIS. That's how I put down my fish. Clove oil, then alcohol.

You can buy clove oil in the dental section. That or some natural food store would have in the essential oil section.

A tiny little cup, 1/4 clove oil 3/4 water, wait for it to sleep, then alcohol.

I had to put down my fish after they got worms, became so bloated its scales puffed up like a porcupine. Its name was vertie, my last Platy. I had a planted tank then so I haven't seen it for a few days before I found it THAT bad off.

Lethal injection

Two bricks, smush him quick.

A gun

>>2392723
?

>>2392134
t. summer fag

>>2391774
>*ka-chunk* sorry about this old boy...
>*blub*
>explodes into glass, water and fish guts

>>2391989
Came here to post this. Freeze him. All the other shit like starvation, bludgeoning and suffocation are torture by comparison.

>>2396077
>Misses the fish
>Flops around in agony as it states at OP

>>2391667
Fish dont feel pain

do not freeze the fish, fucking hell, it's painful and sometimes they come back to life after thawing out again.

buy some pure clove oil it's cheap as shit and you barely need any. it puts them to sleep in small doses, in large doses it's like an anesthetic overdose. most humane way to do it. also has a nice bonus of getting rid of dead fish smell.

Real answer here: hammer

I come from a backward country where u kill a carp for christmas yourself as a tradition

Hold the fish down and hit it on the head, one strike and hes good. If the fish is a small one just smash the whole mofo desu

put a bunch of morphine in the water see what happens

Update OP?

>>2391667
Clove oil. Put him in a small bowl of water and slowly add clove oil. First it will sedate him, but after he's fairly unresponsive you can add a lot more to painlessly kill him.

>>2397433
http://kb.rspca.org.au/what-is-the-most-humane-way-to-euthanase-aquarium-fish_403.html
>love oil is a sedative which at high doses, can be used to euthanase small fish. Unlike veterinary anaesthetics, clove oil is readily available from most chemists. Around 400 mg of clove oil per litre of aquarium water is sufficient to cause death in exposed fish. The clove oil should be mixed with a little warm water first before adding it to the water and fish slowly. Do not add all at once as fish get excited - add the clove oil mix over a 5 minute period.

When exposed to clove oil at this concentration fish quickly lose consciousness, stop breathing and die from hypoxia. Please note that the concentration of the solution must be appropriate and the fish must remain in the solution for at least 10 minutes.

>>2391762
kek, just explode the fish with the bolt gun.

>>2396297
kurwa

It's a fish bro, just turn him into mush with a well-placed booth stomp. Rest in peace fishy, you were a good guy.

Op is 2 much of a pussy to kill the fish

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>>2391678
>>2391705
This is some Ken M grade shit

Use a meat tenderizer and he should be dead instantly in one swing

I said hit it with a tenderizer earlier and that would be quick and painless, but after reading these replies clove oil sounds like the best option

>>2397864
Nah bruv team hammer for life

You don't feel shit when u get whacked in 1 hit

>>2391667
Cook him over a fire and eat him for supper.

>>2391667
Stomp him