If your cat was given the ability to talk, what would they

not sure what the cat would say about me but she would probably tell you that you're a furfag

It would say "you gonna finish that?"

https://youtu.be/xqBcm9z5Hso
All the time. With everything you eat. Every day. Until you or it dies.

File: 1445695675422.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2300918

>FEED ME YOU FUCKING CUNT
>FEED ME YOU FUCKING CUNT
>WHY THE FUCK ARENT YOU LOOKING AT ME?
>GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME OR I AM CALLING THE POLICE AND SAYING YOU RAPED ME

>>2300918

Nothing, because she died 6 months ago.

>>2300918
My cat died on Christmas day

For awhile it will be UGUU FEDME LOOKATME ISMELLMYKIND [...] [??] meanwhile it will begin to develop intelligence but due to system limitations it will die from stroke or heart failure before it hits any language induced self-awareness. It takes so much blood resources to feed such a brain it will die really really fast. I'd give it a human week max.

>>2301194
>>2301215
But if your dead cat could talk what would it say?

File: IMG_20160623_092053.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

Probably call me a faggot or somthing

>hook me up with those human women with cat ears you jerk off to, they look like they have warm laps

>>2300918
>stop pulling on my cat feet I just want to sleep

You sleep all day Monty you old bastard. You need to move more.

>please let me out of your basement mister! I keep telling you I'm not a cat! I just want to go home!

"Feed me for God's sake"
"Whatever it is that you're eating I want it even if I hate it."
"Am I really fine too?"

>>2301681
>"Am I really fine too?"
Holy shit. How could you respond to this? I don't want to fuck my cat, but I also wouldn't want to hurt its feelings.

>>2300918

"Stop leaving me alone at home forever (which takes 20 minutes)!"
"Why can't you just understand that water that has been sitting in a bowl for 2 hours is unacceptable?"

>"Did I say you could stop the scritches?"
>Why are you giving me scritches? *Bite Bite*

>>2301692
Now imagine all the cat owners that didn't bother spaying their female cat

I immediately thought of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvUWaG3elAY

>>2301266
>"It's dark."

>>2301695
>"Why can't you just understand that water that has been sitting in a bowl for 2 hours is unacceptable?"

This

Also, probably moaning and words such as:

"Oooh~ right there"
"A little lower"
"More?"
"Fuck off"
"Lemme out"
"You suck"
"Be quiet"

"Hey um, when you think about it, I'm the first girl you ever spent the night with."

I remember that one animu where a male character's cat got turned into a human (also male) and despite his affection for his cat felt totally weirded out when the cat was all tactile and homoerotic.

>>2301950
Sauce?

>>2301681
>"Am I really fine too?"
If my cat magically gained the ability to speak and was a bit bigger and she say this words to me, I'll be all over her in matter of seconds.

>>2301950
i need this for reasons

>>2301950
I don't recall this ever exist

>>2302096
>>2302359
>>2302728
It was from an anime broadcast in animax around 8-10 yrs ago. I'll go look for it but if you feel like helping it was a shoujou anime where the girl had magic and it was just a one off episode where the gang decided to turn their pets into people.

>>2301692
>"Am I really fine, too?"
>"Um, y-yeah, you're great. It's just... it's me."
>"What do you mean?
>"I... I'm gay."
>"Really? You never said anything that sounded gay, and you're always looking at those anime girls."
>"Nope. Totally gay. I've just been trying to pass, but, yeah, super gay."
>"Hmm..."

Then you live the next 12-25 years of your life pretending to be gay because you don't want to hurt your cat's feelings.

>>2301375
go away sakuya, you insufferable faggot.

>>2301692
>>2303371
You could always break out the q-tips every once in awhile I guess.

Cat 1: dignified silence

Cat 2: DAD MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY DAD MOMMY MOMMY I'M HUNGRY MOOOOMMM DAD OK YUM THANKS zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

>>2303418
Im not that retard

>>2303573
>"Okay, but I won't enjoy it."
>...
>"Boner... why...?"

Probably talk a ton of shit. He's a 19 year old asshole that already talks all the time, i'm sure he'd love to call me a faggot.

>>2301950
t-there was a female cat like that in true love

File: 2016-06-19-111806.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

he'd probably yell at me for not spending more time with him, and then probably complain that i left him with my mom.

then he'd ask me for human food and pets constantly, and get super nosey about my life and shit.

i was one of the first humans he was ever socialized to and we have a kinda tight bond. i miss that old asshole so much, pic related.

>>2303962
Doesn't that make the cat a geezer?

>>2303891
>>2303573
>>2303371
>>2302355
>>2301692
why does /an/ condone bestiality? is it a meme by edgy teenagers to trigger normal people?
or is it a group of elect perverts shitting up the board?

>>2304274
>being surprised furries appear in a thread with a furry picture in the OP

File: ket.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2300918
>stop masturbating when i try to sleep
>i know i just got out but please let me in again
>i'm not killing that spider,who do you think i am?
>please let me sleep with you
>take this filthy bitch away from me
>i love you
>birds are using my water bowl as a pool and toilet
>i'm not sorry for impregnating that same cat 3 times a year
>zzzzzzzzzz
>i don't care if you're taking a bath,let me in
>i hate your dad
>get off that damn computer and pet me

>>2304274
Condoning something and not having autistic fits at the mere mention of something are not the same thing.

It'd definitely call me a faggot

>>2301692
you wouldn't;cats don't form lasting romantic bounds

>>2301375

> muh gun

You are one.

>>2300918
Most of the time it'd just be:

>Food
>Foooooooood
>HUNGRY

I live on the ground floor, my apartment is part of this big complex with a shared space with benches and trees and shit. My cat learned how to pry open the the back door that leads outside and now she does her business there. I stopped buying litter for a while even. She's neutered and absolutely HATES other cats.

>Who is that binch outside?
>Stay da FUCK away from my human!
>Yea you better run. Bitch ass stray cat.
>I love you :3
>Now pet me

She's basically a yandere. She came back once with a nasty gash near her ear though so I'm not letting her outside ever again.

>>2304389
there are many posters on /an/ who unironically say they want to have sex with their dogs, and I have no reason to doubt their verisimilitude

>>2304521
>there are many posters on /an/ who unironically say they want to have sex with their dogs
or one poster that says it a lot of times

Who cares? I'd tell that bitter cunt to fuck off back to her shitbox.

>>2304274
But I said I don't want to fuck my cat.

OOH LONG JOHNSON

>>2301457
this

>>2304467
triggered libcuck

>>2304524
Then why do you keep her around?

>>2300918
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGbhJjXl9Rk

>>2304521
Several posters in a very specific thread which had probably been read by everyone on 4chan who browses through /an/ at least once in a few days. A handful of people out of thousands is not very alarming.

Besides, what am I supposed to do when my bitch wakes me up at 3 in the morning by rubbing herself on my leg.

>>2304364
so furfags are animal rapers, thanks because they usually deny that

>>2305576
>so furfags are animal rapers, thanks because they usually deny that
Well, they aren't inherently. Even as far as the psychology behind it is concerned, zoophilia isn't the same as bestiality. Tons of studies surrounding paraphilia have made efforts to distinguish groups who act on their fetishism/fantasies and those who do not, not even mentioning the fact that most furfags are purely into highly anthropomorphized depictions of "animals".

>>2305604
they are tho

Don't touch me.

>>2300918
The thin one:
>your tablet is very comfy
>your art supplies are very comfy
>my toys are very comfy
>please come to bed, I want to be pet

The fat one:
>Oh hi, nice to see you
>petting me is ok but I want to sleep now
>Oh hi, can you turn the sink water on? I'm thirsty
>Yes, I can drink from my bowl, but don't feel like it

>>2305634
>a few second later, they want a pat

>keep spanking me
[spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SF7G9UjVi0[/spoiler]
Why are cats so fucking weird?

>>2301175
/v/ get out

File: 1484522429397.png (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2300918
Stop poking my butt

>>2308435
Looks pretty normal to me.

She better fucking explain why she rubs her claws on the closet door at night making a creaky tapping sound no matter how many times I get out of bed to fling her across the room

>>2303371
I would just say she's a very pretty cat but I'm not into cats.

>>2304607
lost

>>2308435
fuck, man
this is levels of weird and wrong I never knew I never wanted to see

File: IMG_20161206_201020.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2305717
>>>2300918 (OP)
>The thin one:
>>your tablet is very comfy
>>your art supplies are very comfy
>>my toys are very comfy
>>please come to bed, I want to be pet
>The fat one:
>>Oh hi, nice to see you
>>petting me is ok but I want to sleep now
>>Oh hi, can you turn the sink water on? I'm thirsty
>>Yes, I can drink from my bowl, but don't feel like it

I was worried if anyone's cat does that too. My cat won't ever drink from a bowl just out of the bathroom sink.

File: IMG_20170131_162453.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2308985

File: CnxN86aUsAA_Ncz.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2300918
She would probably say "I need to use your computer so I can drop a fire mixtape. Also, you need to pet me more."

>>2308985
two possibilities I can think of:
- it's some instinct that makes them seek out really fresh water-- in nature moving water is always cleaner than still water
- the same reason I do it, it tastes better

>"You're fucking insane. Get some help, holy shit."
>"Go and get yourself a mate already. You think I don't know what you're doing in front of that computer when I stare?"
>"You give the best pets when you feel like it."

File: IMG_20170131_162349.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>Who are you?

File: IMG_20170131_162418.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>"I don't need balls"

>>2304521
this post makes me remember that one anon who would i think suck his cat off

but i think that thread was in /r9k/, check the archive for 2014/2015

>>2301950
i read a manga like that once, but instead of a cat it was a bunny, and the mc was female? it was really short

>>2300918
She would rat that when I was 13 I strangled her because I thought she looked funny when trying to get free. I'm 22 now, and while she is fine, and loves me a lot, always cuddly and stuff, I feel bad everytime I think about what I did.

Here mate you gonna feed me or what you bell end, listen yea I've been sleeping for like hours yea and my bowls empty. Fill it you cunt.

cuddles cuddles cuddles scratch my belly scratch my cheek now neck now belly again is that your room it smells like your room this is where you sleep I'm hungry GET THAT HAND DOWN HERE CUDDLES

Not my cat actually, belongs to a woman who lives down the street, but he constantly breaks into my house to look for me. I think he's a kitten I saved from a tree several years ago.

File: kajiit.png (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2300918
I think they would be very chidish.

>Wake up, wake up, i think i heard a sound from upstairs, it could be a mice.
>Come inside my box! I have a place for you! WE CAN BE IN A BOX!!
>Dont touch my paws! i dont touch yours!

"HOLY SHIT, DO YOU SEE THOSE BIRDS"?
"I'm gonna eat those birds, the motherfuckers".

File: 20170130_134455.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

"Feeeeed me"
"I gotta poop"
"Pooped"
"Lemme lick you"
"Mmm nose"
"Gotta lick anus"
"Lemme lick you"
"Mmm mouth"

>>2300918
>FUCKING STOP TOUCHING ME YOU NIGER
>gib food pls
>no, not that kind of food
>no, I'm not taking my meds
>you masturbate too much
>no, I won't stop watching you
>I'm telling your sister

My cat is a cunt

>>2300918
>how come you're eating? I want your food
>I heard the sound of a bag moving, give me food and treats
>Why are you laying on this platform and not on your feet putting food for me? Let me wake you up
>Your legs are warm, i will sleep here, don't disturb me or i'll hate you forever
>Why are you looking away from me? give me attention now and rub my face
>Why are you looking at me now? I don't want to look at your disgusting face fuck off

also, pretty much
>>2301177

To be fair most cats have a proprietary "language" they use to communicate with their owners. Different tones and vocalizations mean different things, but the meanings aren't shared between cats so it's not instinctual, it's learned.

My cat knows at least 5 commands for me (that I can recognize):
-I'm hungry
-I want attention
-I'm lost
-I feel sick
-Fuck off (usually what I hear when I have to put her in a crate or move her when she's sleeping)

>>2309899
>I'm lost
You live in a fucking labyrinth or some shit

>>2309922
>You live in a fucking labyrinth or some shit
She's old, she gets confused. Especially when she's just woken up.

Sometimes she'll wake up and I'm not in the room and she'll wander a bit before crying with that particular tone.

>>2309899
My two cats don't meow, the older one doesn't at all, just opens her mouth but no sound comes from it (she's not mute however, if you annoy her she does vocalize) while the other one opens his mouth and "meows" but with like, almost no voice, like when you get a cold or something and your voice is all weak. I noticed that even my neighbors cat has that weird kind of voice, but they're not related. Why do some cats do this?

>>2309548
>I'm telling your sister
?

>>2310609
about how much I masturbate, not that she can't make an accurate estimation on her own

>>2300918
>Hey dude, give me food
>What do you mean 'you have food already', no I don't
>Well I do but it's shit, give me something else

>Give me attention
>Let me sit on you
>I don't care that you sneeze when I'm on your face, let me sit on you

>I'm bored
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>Why are you angry at me
>What does it being nighttime have to do with anything

>Let me in
>Let me in
>Let me in
>Let me in
>...
>Why are you rattling the catflap, I don't want to go in

>>2300918

>Hey, I killed something. Praise me.
>Pet me.
>Stop moving, I'm laying here.
>OHGODITSATHINGINEEDTOKILLTHETHING
>I can barely see the bottom of the food bowl. Refill it, or I'll keep reminding you.
>Hey! Hey! Hey! Fuck you! Hahahahhahah!
>I swear to Bast I'll kill that bangled cunt soon.
>You say shit about my sister?

>>2300918
>These sands are cold, but Khajiit feels warmth from your prescence

>>2300918
>give me what the fuck are you eating
>no, i don't want it now
>massage my back
>GET OUT OF MY BED, NOW, i don't care if it was yours, its mine now
>wow, you are such a faggot
>i can see you fapping, fucker
Or something like that

>>2310647
>"Hey, Denise, your brother is jacking off again."
>"MITTENS SHUT THE FUCK UP I KNOW ALREADY AND I WISH I DIDN'T."

>Give food
>No, this isn't enough. More
>Is that meat?
>I'm too old for this shit (playing)
>Pet me, watch the nails
>Your feet are mine to sleep and don't ever forget that


She's so stuck up that she'd probably talk in an old lady accent. She's 17 now so she gets a pass.

File: catgirl care.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2301692
>>2301712
You can't just satisfy your sexual desires with a cat!

>>2311893
What the fuck (catfags) furfags?

>>2301177
fucking this
>GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME OR I AM CALLING THE POLICE AND SAYING YOU RAPED ME

especially this one lol

File: 1483210938030.png (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2311893
I had absolutely no need to see something like this today

"stop telling people I chose you, I walked into your house because you are the only ones who let me"

"stop fucking touching me"

"stop messing with my stuff all the time, I mess up the floor for a reason"

"come on just let me out for 5 minutes, I promise I won't run away"

"you masterbate way too much"

>>2301950
Red Dwarf isn't an anime you fuckwit.

>Stop that
>I'm hungry
>Come here
>Stop that
>I feel comfortable
>Hey
>Hey
>Hey
>Stop that
>Hey
>Hey

>>2311921
Animal//monster girl fags are an entirely different breed of autistic.

File: 1425838696587.jpg (1B, 486x500px)

1B, 486x500px

>>2312040
>projecting this hard

>>2311893
Someone took the time to make this. Why. Why

File: image.jpg (58KB, 540x476px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 540x476px

If cats could communicate with humans, 90% of neo-nazi forums and /pol/ users would be cats. They would call themselves Cational Socialist party, or Cazi party.

>>2300918
>ANon stop fapping to that cartoon and pet me!
>Anon stop playing that vidya while fapping and pet me!
>Anon stop fapping so try and sleep better and pet me!
>Anon stop fapping to those vids of animals fucking and pet me!
>Anon, pet me!
>Anon please pet me!
>Anon I'm just constantly scratching your shirts and tearing holes in them to make sure you know I exist and you have to pet me!

While his brother goes
>Anon can I have food?
>Anon, pet me while I eat!
>Anon, why did you go into the kitchen? Can you give me food?
>Anon pet me while I eat!
>Anon please fill my bowl with food and then scratch my ass or else I can't eat!
>Anon why are you fapping and petting my brother?

I just want to rub one out, for god's sake!

>>2312057
>being a degenerate

Japanese culture is immoral.

>>2300918
Probably nothing since she died a few years ago.

File: tumblr_o5srshYYbf1qzhjh2o1_500.jpg (56KB, 500x373px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 500x373px

>hey!!! love me! I'm lonely!
>WelcomehomeImissedyousomuchomg
>PLAY WITH ME
>I want to kill your rabbit
>FEED ME

>>2300918
>"Hey slave, feed me, bitch!"
>"I've rubbed my asshole on every inch of this house; it's mine now."
>"I'm too fucking lazy to shit inside the litterbox -- I'll just shit a foot away from it instead."
>"It's Time for my 18 hour daily nap, don't touch me or I'll fucking scratch you"
>"My autism mandates that you MUST pet me this ONE specific way (but not for too long) or I must scratch you."
>"Look at my asshole, haha!"

>>2308435
Now that's a little weird.

If a cat could speak it's first words would be lies

File: 1415127411979.jpg (6KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 400x400px

two cats:
my cat: mostly vocal
>"where are you going? can I go with you?"
>"where were you?"
>"your computer cords are fun"
>"give me food"
>"what are you doing"
>"let the water flow in the bathroom, I'm thirsty"
>"why you call me names? I am me"
>"my mom hits me for no reason"
>"rub my face with your fingers"
>"are you eating?, GIVE ME YOUR FOOOOOOOD"

her mother: completely mute
>"oh hi there thin guy, open the door"
>"your lap is comfy"
>"your bed is comfy"
>"dont touch me!, okay rub my chin"
>"god my son has no manners"
>"anon why do you sit there all day?"
>"anon there is something in your walls"
>"fuck you, you just dont walk in front of me like nothing" *scratch*
>"fuck your nephew anon, he's too loud and annoying"

File: cats.png (1MB, 3792x3316px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3792x3316px

>>2311893
can't you?

>>2315998
I agree with cougar fingering guy.

>>2316008

I think we all do.

>>2316028
No, no we don't. Fucking degenerates

>>2316391
>Denying pure love
The only degenerate here is you, Anon.

>>2314783
Then who would speak the truth?

>>2315998
>pet cougar
How? Isn't that massively dangerous?

>>2308974
>I would just say she's a very pretty cat but I'm not into cats.
"but i'm not a cat! I'm people!"

>>2317400
The dog?

>>2316807
I vomited in my mouth a little thinking about a "person" thinking they are "in love" with an animal

>>2317435
Lots of rich fucks keep dangerous exotic pets because they have too much money than brains and because they "enjoy the challenge" and because they enjoy pissing off greenies.

There are more tigers in America than India these days, and they aren't being kept in captive breeding programs. They will die as someone's pet as the rest of the tigers of the world go extinct.

This is what you've created. Bask in it.

>>2317531
I just don't understand having a pet that could kill you in the blink of an eye, at least with a dog I can punch it a couple of times but a cougar is too fast for me to fight off before it goes for my jugular or renders my arm unusable.

>>2300918
Why do you jerk off so much

>>2300918
>Why have you closed the door?
>I don't like it when the door is closed.
>Please open the door, I want to see you.
>I miss you.
>Oh, what's that, you opened the door?
Walks inside and I close the door.
Not three minutes later.
>Eh, fucko, why's the door closed?
>What, you think I wanna stay in this shitty room with you?
>Also rub my belly or I'll stand next to you and fucking chirp.
Why do you chirp Juliet?
You are cat not bird, cat does not go chirrup.

>>2301266
'I love you.'
I love you too...

File: cat dog.jpg (130KB, 720x776px) Image search: [Google]

130KB, 720x776px

>>2317468
But dogs are retarded breeds of wolves

>>2315998
There's always dry humping and anal.


Just saiyan

>>2319397
>anal
Yeah, I can see that. Cougar turds are about as big around as an average dick. If you gave her a nice reach around she probably wouldn't even mind.

>>2301177
>FEED ME YOU FUCKING CUNT
>WHY THE FUCK ARENT YOU LOOKING AT ME?

These ones

-cat a, "tiny cat"

>I love you
>touch me
>please don't touch me
>I have problems and I expect you to fix them
>I know it's 1 am but please let me knead your chest
>the cat litter hasn't been changed in 2 hours, please change it or I will be forced to piss in your laundry

-cat b, "fat cat"
>I love everything about you
>let me sit on your lap
>rub my back
>rub my head
>rub my neck
>rub my nuzzle
>feed me at all times
>let me sleep under your blanket
>being with you gives my life meaning

-when in heat
>please fuck me
>why are you not fucking me?
>for the love of god fuck me already
>I am going to get as physically close to you as possible until you fuck me
>at least let me outside so somebody else will fuck me
>seriously i can't masturbate just fuck me

>>2303371

just say she's too small anon.

>>2304274

I'd probably fuck a dog if somehow such a situation arose naturally but yes >>2305576 furfags are unironically animal rapists, they'll buy puppies and groom them

>>2317540

dogs are more dangerous than large cats, large cats are dangerous because they get the jump and suffocate you from behind.

>>2319577
>tfw no yandere cat

>>2308435
>>2308980
>>2314762
this is basically masturbation for cats

>>2319594
How do you know? Did you do it to help your cats get off?

>>2320935
I've seen people spanking their cats on 4chan twice already.

File: image.jpg (78KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 640x480px

WE

"He's the best but why the fuck won't he let me outside already?"

"Also I appreciate that I was starving before he found me but could he not feed me diet bullshit and then eat chicken in front of me? Goddamn."

Mostly he loves the shit out of me though. I've pwned cats all my life and I've never had one that was this genuinely excited to see me when I get home from work like this one is. I swear he's part dog.

>>2304699

If he decided to force his fixed gear bike into every picture he took he'd be a faggot too.