I was in bed when I suddenly felt something squishy on my hand.

cat turd?

>>2272136
He was like a caterpillar or a grub of some kind maybe? I got him outside, safe and sound. Just wondering where the heck he came from.

>>2272133
Legit thought that was a turd nugget.

>>2272133
Today I was taking a shower and my place gets tons of spiders for some reason
So I see this brown hig leggedfellow over my towel medium size little less than an inch
And i grabbed a bottle of bleach and tried to kill it and his reaction was basically oh shit oh fuck oh fuck as he poorly attempted to run away
And it hit me that spider is a coward and i don't mind a spider around if it's a coward
He probably looks at me and is all like there is no way I'm going near that thing again
Why are spiders normally assholes, what use is there for a spider to sting and poison someone who is a couple thousand times its size?

>>2272173
Why the heck would you do that? Spiderbro isn't doing anything to you. Just put him in a bottle or cup or something and throw him outside.

>>2272167
This

>>2272176
Nobody with poison is my bro a poison bug is just waiting to backstab me
Explain to me why does a spider need so much poison?

>>2272187
>poison
a tiny percentage of spiders are poisonous. if it wasn't a black widow or brown recluse and you live in NA you're golden.

also what do you mean so much? Its not like they carry around a backup suitcase of the stuff. They produce poison for defense and offense, nature doesn't give a fuck whether that's for use on a maggot or a mammoth.

>backstab me
spider's aren't your stepmom, bro. they won't give you a handy and then tell your dad at thanksgiving.

>>2272192
Why does a spider need to kill a mammoth? Is he going to eat it?
Should I kill a giraffe just because it's there?

>>2272195
lolwut

>>2272195
i'm saying nature is apathetic as to the relation between the spider and anything it comes across. 99% of spiders are harmless, but those who evolved venom don't have some sort of guardian angle guiding their evolution to ensure that wayward giraffes don't get fucked up.

evolution isn't about need or want, its about survival. the cards were dealt, and some spiders, very very few spiders, have powerful venom. same with snakes. a black mamba doesn't NEED to be able to kill that many people, but at the same time it doesn't need to NOT be able to kill a bunch of people, either.

that being said, i'm certain the spider in your house is non venomous and probably only injects necessary digestive enzymes into whatever the hell it eats.

>>2272202
Fuck nature I'm more powerful
I will buy enough poison to put the spider to shame, it will jumpstart half the old peoples in this buildings camcer

>>2272205
>on tonight's news, a local man was found dead in his apartment with over ninety pounds of rat poison. according to police, the man was using the rat poison to fill his bean bag chair, brush his teeth, and even clean his dakimakura. It's been reported that his body is so toxic that he will have to be buried in India.

>>2272221
kek

File: don't bleach me bro.jpg (16KB, 324x324px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 324x324px

>>2272173
>what use is there for a spider to sting and poison someone who is a couple thousand times its size?

Because they're trying to kill the spider out of irrational fear.

>>2272173
>poison
Why are you eating the spider anon?


Venomous bugs are far more common than poisonous ones.

>>2272195
it really astounds me how people can be this retarded

you're like non-meme retarded