>He doesn't sing stupid made up songs to his dog and/or

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>he's not autistic

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>He owns a bird

>He doesn't regularly threaten his doggo or kitcat with physical and emotional violence but in a happy and excited tone

>doesn't call his female bearded dragon a faggot
>doesn't name his cherry shrimp various racial slurs
>doesn't even call the native birds obese

I have about 30 pet names for my cat, Daisy, that I use an equal amount and largely interchangeably.

>Face (she has a nice one)
>Long (sometimes she's long)
>Bleem (last name of her vet)
>Daz
>Days
>Fass (mispronunciation of Face)
>Mrs. Millet
>Wew Lad
>Sniffers

>>2123865
I do this all the time lol

I
"I'm going to beat you senselessly"
"I will sacrifice your soul to Ba'al and use your blood to make dacquiries for the most unkempt and unsavoury demons of hell"
"Yes! Yes I will!"
>make stupid face at dog

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>>2124375
>Who's an insufferable asshole?! You Are!
>Who's being a little dumb bastard today? Huh? Huh? You are!

Only when I'm irritated with the little guy. I love my English Bully, trained him well. But sometimes a dog will be a dog I guess.