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Can /adv/ give me some advice on my situation?
>Failing university
>Not hard course work, actually ez
>former room mate turned out to be stalker
>Had to move in with my brother
>Brother is drug dealer
>Constantly made to feel like shit
>Not many friends
>Got caught with weed and I have a court case now
>I've started using drugs a lot since my dad passed
I had some nice friends and stuff but they're Christians and they won't stop inviting the guy stalking me just because of how I feel. Or he'll know where I'm going and show up, people don't have beef with him so they don't care.
Like, I'm honestly ready to die or go to jail, I've refused a lawyer. I just want to be anywhere else and I know I can be happy if my external situation isn't a cycle of constant abuse.
I can bench 90kg, so if I went to jail I don't think anyone is going to try me.
We got robbed a few weeks ago and I had some weird white flash PTSD shit
>You know what my brother does?
Bursts into my room because it doesn't have a lock and starts humming shitty tunes like ring of fire as if his mouth is a trumpet.
I'm half asleep at my computer and
>BRRRRDDDDURR DUD DURR DURR DURR DURR DUH DUH DURR DURR DURR DURR
>BRRRRRRBRRRRBRRRR ABURRR BURR BUR BUR HMMM BUUR DURRRRRRRR
>HEY LITTLE CUNNILINGUS WHATS GOING ON
He's got ADHD. He couldn't give a shit when the police searched my dads ashes.
Two months ago he told me to kill myself (That's how I got the scars in pic)
I decided to ss my arm i'm really fucking sick of living like this.
My course work is at my apartment, I failed two assignments, I was too much of a bitch to go and get it because of the creepy room mate.
I want to live somewhere else but I don't have money for a bond, I've been looking. But I can't afford any of it.
I want to hit my head open on a wall.
I've been seeing a psychologist but that doesn't change my overall situation.
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>>18732652
>Failing University
Good job, you somehow fucked up an "EZ" course. Did you "Have" to move in with your brother, or were you overreacting? Are they really "Making" you feel like shit, or are you emotional? You continue to make mistakes, OP. You should have known the risks when you decided to choose pot over your education. You can keep being a mopey bitch or toughen up, try to get along with your retarded brother (or move out), and focus on your studies. If you don't try, you're going to fail, and it'll be nobody's else's fault. Whatever happens you have to keep trying, until something works.
Refusing a lawyer isn't the smartest decision.
>>18732656
You do not owe him an apology. A truly pleasing person wouldn't use morality as a leverage to pressure you into something you are not obliged to do. He violated your privacy and you don't feel comfortable around him, end of the line. This guy is too much, try to cut ties with him. Ignore him, blank him, don't have anything to do with him. He's a fucking creep.
Maybe you can room with someone or search local ads, but I can't help you as far as finding a room. Ask yourself. Is cutting yourself going to fix your problems? Is it going to give you a passing grade? Fix your legal issues? Give that Jesus freak a mysterious and fatal heart attack? You seriously need to at least focus on your school, even though it's difficult now. Nobody else can dig you out of the rut you're in.
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