>Decide to forgive one of my bullies despite they haven't

Forgiving someone can never be considered a wrong act and I'm sure that, if they ever felt any regret or deal with the guilt of bullying you in the past it has surely passed due to your message. To err is human, to forgive, divine. It's a good thing that you did OP.

>>18727829
Jesus forgave the romans and the jews and after they condemned them to death and they still rammed a spear thru his chest in the cross. By that I mean that forgivness is not a way to stroke your ego . It is about letting go and being better regardless. If you HAD to send HIM a message , it doesnt soundnlikenu forgiven him so much as you still give a fuck about him and want to prove u are better by offering a "forgive"

>>18727829
You did it because it was the right thing to do. Holding on to that hurt and pain is just a burden you don't need. I think most bullies act out because of some messed up situation in their own lives. Keep listening to that voice inside you. It will show you the right way. How that person takes it doesn't really matter. Maybe it will mean something to them., maybe it won't. You have peace with yourself and you reached out in compassion. That is enough.

>>18727843
I apologize for my grammar since Im phone fagging

>>18727843
How else would they know if I never said about it?

I didn't do it just to act superior. I did it because I was tired of thinking about them. First it was bitterness and it turned into carelessness. I stopped caring about them, therefore I forgave them.

It's not as divine but my intentions was to move on with my life.

>>18727848
Then move the fuck on and stop worring about social media messages. If with that message u feel at peace then wonderful. Now move on op. U sure have good things to spend your time on rather than remembrance

>>18727857
I'm actually worried about their well being. I pity them and wish them best because they need it more than me.

It's disheartening that they don't give me an answer.

>>18727864
They dont need your pity or worring. The problem is you cant let go. Not that they nees help they didnt ask for

>>18727864
>I pity them and wish them best because they need it more than me.
I doubt it. They probably didn't even remember it until you (re)brought it up.

I think you wanted closure more for yourself than anything on his part. Well guess what? You got it by sending the message at all. Basically what >>18728067 said.

>>18728102
>until you (re)brought it up.

Then I actually made them feel like shit while I felt better.

I actually got the last laugh?

Now that I think about it, what do you even say to that?

Someone forgives without asking to be forgiven. I just did that and I wouldn't know what to say.

>>18728236
>Then I actually made them feel like shit while I felt better.
>I actually got the last laugh?
And there we go, you didn't "forgive" him at all. You just wanted to inflict some post-mortem guilt, which is the exact opposite of becoming the bigger/better person.

As far as you know, it didn't work. You can imagine all the sadness on his part you like, but it's also just as likely he looked at it for a second, deleted it and forgot about it.

Tell me, will that thought keep you up at night? Knowing your "forgiveness" could have been ignored, laughed at, etc. and how much thought you're still putting into it?

>>18728385
I never said I was perfect. What I did was for good reasons, moving on with my life.

I am questioning did I actually get the last laugh. If someone sent me a message forgiving me, what should I even reply to it?

My intentions were not to inflict misery. My intentions was to move on with my life. It feels like I put him on a corner. That was not part of my plan. It feels that I actually made things worse, I made him think.

>>18727829
I wouldn't do it unless they apologized first, and even then I might not. Forgiveness is a fucking lie. Forgiving for small things that don't matter in the long run is normal and harmless. But all forgiving people who commit serious acts does is clear their conscience so they can continue to be assholes. Look I know we romanticize the idea of being the bigger man but small men get away with a lot of shit because of bigger men. The only way you can make sure somebody knows they really fucked you over and hurt you is to look them in the eye and say "I don't forgive you. You can't make everything okay with just words."

>>18728444
If he did not answer he most likely does not remeber you. Just forget about it, be happy and move on.

>>18728526
It's not my problem that they continue being assholes. They are responsible for their actions. I can only hope that they wise up and don't ruin their lives.

The temptation is always high for revenge but I forgave because I can spend that energy on being more than a petty human being. It disturbed my concentration on things that matters in my life: happiness, work, life.

File: dealwithit.jpg (40KB, 360x351px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 360x351px

>>18728551
Dude just let it slide.
All your life youre going to be dominated by assholes, at your workplace, in your relatiinships, in your neighborhood etc.

You need to become like a goose. Every time someone pours water on you it just runns off.

You can be swimming in a pool of shit and it still won't affect you, because you're a goose.

>>18728551
Good. Dude op perhaps u didnt even forgive them. If they are not a part of ur life anymore, u can acknowledge what they did do and think "thats pretty fucked up. What a bunch of aholes" and live your life as best you can. What appears right now is that you cant even accept that they dont give a shit about you, no matter how much u appear to rationalize against what im saying

>>18728572
Sorry i was being too harsh. But srsly ask urself why u care so much right now if you seriously have let go.