Should I lose my virginity to a woman I don't find all that

>>18724944
It's just sex and its only as special as you make it.

>>18724944
No. If you aren't attracted to her, what the fuck is the point familia? You're just going to be stuck with a memory of losing it to some bitch you didn't even like, and you'll probably feel the same or worse than before

>>18724953
I hear this a lot but I can't help how I feel. Whatever the reason, society, personal beliefs, religion, etc, that level of intimacy, especially for someone like me who has only come into their own as a sexual being in my 20s instead of a teenager and people find it fucking weird if you're a virgin by my age. The longer I wait the worse and more anxiety ridden I feel.

>>18724955
Maybe, maybe I will regret it, but I can't help but feel this fucking cloud will be gone from over my head. I've strived hard to become normal, more social, more willing to be part of society instead of an outsider looking in. I drink, I go to parties, I have a good friend group and am meeting new people. I've lost 100+ pounds so I'm not some disgusting unhygenic loser that doesn't take care of himself anymore. This has all happened post college, in my mid 20s within the past two years, I'm finally out of shell. But this is the one thing left, intimacy. I'm tired of not having it, i just want to be able to say I'm not a virgin and actually mean it instead of lying to people about it. I get so nervous about sex when I meet a girl I like, how can I ever date someone my age as a virgin, without knowing how to date, how to engage sexually? It's not instinct for me..I've come close, once even with a girl I really liked, but was so nervous about doing it that I pushed her away for good. I hate myself for it and I want it to be done, even if it's not as "special" as it should be.

>>18725328
>The longer I wait the worse and more anxiety ridden I feel.

Then... don't wait. The alternative here isn't that your magical perfect girlfriend will descend from the heavens amidst a chorus of angels or something. The alternative is that you miss this particular opportunity, fail to seek out others due to compounding anxiety, and either start on the path towards wizard status, or you give up and hire a hooker.

Given that you have a particular virginity issue that's bothering you, you're probably a lot better off losing your virginity with a girl that actually cares about you, instead of with some whore who only cares about your money.

>>18725414
This is really well put. Go for it OP, and by the way since when is a blowjob not considered losing your virginity?

>>18724944

Fuck no.

I made that mistake and really regret it. I lost mine to a girl I really did not like. It was an awful experience and it sort of messed me up and made me ultra insecure. Don't do it. I wish I waited.

>>18725514
I've always understood penis in vagina is litmus test for virginity. I've gotten fingers in there and nothing else.

>>18725522
This is part of what I'm afraid of. I think if I lose my virginity with a girl I like, I run into the problem of 1. Never finding that girl, and 2. Im bad at it and feel insecure anyway. If I lose it to this woman, I won't feel great about myself because I have no emotional investment and it's not like I find her physically attractive, so I can't even look back on it with fondness.

It seems like I'm weighing the decision between losing it now and getting rid of the anxiety, or holding on for someone I at least feel something for, but maybe losing my chance forever, and end up to the point where the anxiety is too much and I'll never do it.

>>18725547
How does a lesbian lose her virginity senpai? Or a gay dude? Are you saying that all these dudes running around hooking up on Grindr are virgins? Use your imagination!

Virginity is a state of mind, not of body. When you lose your virginity, you're no physically different than you were the day before (unless you caught something, I suppose). What's different is your mind.

Penis in vagina sex is a terrible criteria for virginity.

>>18725547

I just wouldn't advise it. I feel really insecure now around girls, whenever people talk about sex. All I can relate to is my gross experience. All that does is make me to want to distance myself from girls.

>>18725678
I definitely don't find her gross. She's fat (I'm still fat but still losing, maybe that's why I can't get laid?) but not ogreish, she has a cute face and I fucking love making out with her. I think I'm a really good kisser (and have been told this by multiple women) and kissing is something that gives me no anxiety and I could do it all night if it didn't lead to other things naturally. I would have probably already done this if I knew for sure she wouldn't feel lead on by hooking up again. Like I said she's sweet, and wouldn't want to fuck with her feelings just for my own personal gain.

>>18725650
Ok then, I don't feel like a blowjob is losing my virginity if it's all about how I think about it. Personally I would consider anal sex and vaginal sex to be losingy virginity. If I were gay it be anal sex, and I was lesbian and female...then I don't really know, rubbing my vagina against hers or something? Idk.

>>18725716

>i fucking love making out with her.

Well if that's the case, then I guess it wouldn't be such a big deal if you have sex with her. With my experience, I was not attracted to the girl at all.. yet she was super into me, so it was terribly awkward and uncomfortable for me. I literally remember while we were having sex thinking "I hope this is over quickly"

>>18725735
You were still able to get aroused despite being repulsed by her?

>>18725328
If you have standards and ideals you owe it to yourself to jump through fire to have it.

though remember that you have to work harder and face more difficulties that people without such ideals to get it.

>>18725716
If you like kissing her, what's the problem? The way I see it, as long as it doesn't get too serious, you can have fun together and when it ends, it ends.

Besides, if she's older, she's not likely to think of you as the "one". If you get along and like hanging out, it's just two consenting adults having fun.

>>18725753

Barely.. it was probably only like a 75% erect. and that's only because she was using both hands to stimulate it. When I came, it was pathetic too, worse than any fap I've ever done.

As soon as it was over I had her leave. She really liked me tho and was super into it so she didn't want to, but I made up a bullshit excuse to get her out. She texted me the next day saying she wanted to suck me dry. So I kept making excuses and never met her again.

>>18725764
That was part of my motivation in losing weight. The girls that were into me I wasn't into, kinda like now, and I knew it was because I was a fat piece of shit. I know that I have a good personality and am not awkward around women the way you would would expect a 25 year old virgin to be, but no one wants to fuck a dude whose close to 400 pounds, at least not the women I wanted. It's taken me so long to to lose the weight I have, and probably another year before I get to an average weight, and I'm not getting any younger. My worst fear is I get to my ideal weight and I'm at the same place and it was me all along and not how I look. I'll have to wait and see if that's the case.

>>18725814
25 year old virgin here and in my case it was definitely me.

>>18725831
Like youre good looking and still can't get laid? That's what I'm afraid of, how are your social skills?

>>18725835

Not him. I'm the guy who fucked the ugly girl. But, I had sex with her when I was 20. I'm 26 now and haven't touched a girl since. Im not ugly, I've had girls call me handsome. Just that experience fucked me up. It was too much of a bad memory and shys me away from anything physical.

>>18725835
I'm average looking in the face, ottermode body. I just stutter and get nervous every time, don't what to do.

>>18725842
don't know*

>>18725777
this guy has it right

>>18724944
Do it OP. Lost mine to a starter gf and my confidence shot up through the roof (which really surprised me).

>>18724944
Gotta slay a few dragons before you get to the princess.

You should. Right now, being a virgin is a barrier you have in your life. If you don't break that barrier, you're not going to be able to move forward in your life in a lot of aspects. For example, if once you meet a girl you feel atracted to, you're going to have much more pressure going for her if you are still a virgin that if you are not.

>>18725777
>>18725777
Her face is alright, and I like kissing her because I like kissing, I find it really intimate and hot as fuck. Her body is the real problem, she's fat, but not in the good places, she has really tiny tits, that's what really threw me off. Most fat chicks I know have nice bulbous tits for me to latch onto and suck, hers were kinda floppy and just sagged.

She's an older woman, but not old old, she's about 7-8 years older than me. And the problem is I dont know if it's just fun, it was for me, but she seemed to be into it a lot more than me. Especially with some of her texts after we hooked up. If I could know for sure that she saw it as casually as I did this thread wouldnt exist. My anxiety about losing my virginity to a girl I have no feelings for is mirrored by the idea that it would mean something to her and the idea of using her just for my own ends without regards for her feeling makes me feel skeevy. I know on 4chan its pretty acceptable to disregard how women feel because of how many immature, frustrated, man-children post around here but I'm not like that and couldnt be even if I wanted to. Is there a way I can bring it up that I want something casual without any longing feelings gettign involved? If she says yes, we will be goign otu for drinks just the two of us before heading to her place.

>>18725969

God damn dude. You're making it a bigger deal than it is.

If you were repulsed, then I'd definitely say don't do it. But you keep saying how much you love making out with her. That's already really intimate.. you even said she sucked you off. So what's the big deal about having sex with her?

>>18726003
Because sex is a big deal too virgin, especially one who feels like they're hopelessly romantic. I didn't envision losing it this way, I didn't envision my life being at all like it is. Things were never supposed to be this way, but now they are and I'm trying to figure it out on my own but I can't.

>>18726061

There is no significant difference between a bj and vaginal sex other than your dick is in a pussy instead of a mouth. You're making a big deal out of this.


If you DON'T feel any attraction toward this girl. Don't do it.

But clearly you DO because you like tonsel hockey with her. Just do it.

If you hadn't done anything physical at all. Then I could understand your hesitation. But you're already lewd with this girl..

>>18726124
Exactly famicom, you know what her mouth tastes like and you've already had your dick inside her. Just make sure you have a conversation about what she wants out of the relationship before hand and pope away

>>18726200
Ok then, how do I bring it up organically? I've never had that kind of discussion before, how do I bring it up without wrecking the evening/making things weird?

>>18726224


She's already being lewd with you. Putting your dick in her pussy is no different than what you're already doing

>>18726225
I did it once, months ago. I've only seen her once since then and texted a few times.

>>18726227

Just say you wanna hook up again. Do what you normally do. But instead of your D going in her M, blow your L in her V