Thinking about killing myself soon. 36 years old... lived a mediocre

Well do you have any family?

>>18724148
Yeah, my folks who are supportive. Only problem is I feel extreme guilt for leaning on them. I'm 36 fucking years old and should not be in this position by society's standards.

I served in the military from 99-06.. went to afghan/iraq. Was a cop for a short time, but quit because it wasn't for me. Off and on jobs since then. Now unemployed, but trying to start my own business but failing pretty much. Life is a goddamn challenge.

>>18724144
>I served in the military from 99-06.. went to afghan/iraq. Was a cop for a short time
Dude this is NOT a mediocre life this is cool as shit I'd be well proud to have done that sort of thing. Get yourself out there and meet some people. If you class yourself as a veteran maybe get in touch with a vet organisation and see if they can help

>>18724152
Let me put it this way: if they're as supportive and such as you say, killing yourself would be a terrible thing to do to them. They clearly love you and would be basically destroyed if they lost you.

>>18724169
>>18724174
Thanks for the concern but about to just sage. I'm done.

>>18724161
Agreed. Doesn't seem like medicore life. Life is hard, but I think you gonna make it, I presume you don't have any debt, any issues. You struggle like most of us. Only few are lucky to be happy and satisifed, for the rest life is a struggle. I'm in a very precarious situation myself. I have a birthday in november, I will be 26, I have 29k€ debt to my name, I have no degree, no certified skills and I might get kicked out from my University program. I have put 4 years of my life pursuing a degree, which I might not get. Few days ago there was American, I think Pharm. student who has 150k$ debt to his name, got kicked out during 3rd year. That's a life of misery. It's hard man, it's hard, don't give up.

Travel more bro ! And save your money for it ! You'll meet new people and discover new things.

Find something you like and do it, like a music instrument.

>>18724144
reasons not to:
>People you care about will be extremely sad
>if you use a gun, antigunners will use your death to push their agenda

Have you considered talking to a therapist? You might just be depressed and they'll help you past that.

at least keep living until you are in your 50s

with your military and police experience
look into working in private security the pay is decent and it is less stressful then being a cop

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>>18724144

>>18724144
>Will I go to hell?

The question is, are you already in hell? Not mental anguish, you feel bad hyperbole hell, but actual, no hope eternal torment hell. Ask yourself this: has your life steadily gotten worse with seemingly every change that occurs, and yet amidst these changes, everything is always the same. If this is how you feel, you may very well be in hell. Do you know how long you have been here? It should seem like forever, but you probably only arrived. The more you realize where you are, the deeper into hell you will get. Fire and pitchforks are a long way ahead, so many other ways to torment until we get there. There is no rush. We have literally all the time in the world.

Go see a priest of your choosing. If you dare to take my advice. I assure you, I'm not a demon, but a fellow lost soul. There is still a chance to do good, even here, even if you never benefit from it. Good is still good, isn't it?

>>18724628
That's the most retarded, over privileged thing I've ever read. Obviously written by whitey living at their parents for free.

>>18724144
Call a friend, tell your parents you love an appreciate them. Go outside for a walk, drink some water. Pick up a new hobby, get a pet.

Take baby steps and try to figure out a goal, where you want to go. It's not too late, small progress is still progress. You can do it man.

Something as grandiose and dramatic as suicide really doesn't befit mediocre losers like us, OP.

>>18724692

nigga what are you doing here even

>>18724144
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
- Dorothy Parker

what was the last straw, op?

>>18724144
RIP in peace

Hey. Have you ever considered reaching out to a therapist? Suicidal thoughts are a serious symptom four you to take inexperienced people's opinion. If you fall from stairs and break a leg you go to get attention. The doctor won't judge you for you to falling. Sometimes some people get broken legs and arms emotionally speaking. Don't listen to people who thinks that a twisted ankle is the same as a broken leg.

>>18724144

there's no escape, i've tried. Face your problems, accept failure as

>>18725205

something to overcome

>>18724161
Apart from the fact that your life has been nowhere near mediocre, it sounds like you suffer from clinical depression. Get professional help and proper medication. Props to your folks for being supportive. Clearly they love and care for you and being at the receiving end of this is no shame. To use a somewhat worn expression, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem .. hang in there OP - Good luck and godspeed!

>>18724144
I'm feeling like that too. It started about 3 years ago. Slowly depression has gotten hold of me.

I don't want to die but living is hurting me and I physically can't stand the pain. I have a fit of solitary crying pretty much every day now.
It's getting worse and worse and if I talk to someone they just think I'm looking for attention and exaggerating.
I don't want to kill myself though. Just die.