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I need to get something off my chest.
I have absolutely no memories from my childhood. Over the years I have pushed everything as far as 0 through 15-16 years old away due to a rough childhood.
I was never allowed to speak my mind. My mom would put me in my place and curse me for raising my voice at her which lead to me never learning to confront problems (I'm 23 now and started pursuing a new learning curve when I turned 20-21ish). And now I'm having a tough time speaking about problems to anyone - because I never learned to speak my mind either. I broke up with my girlfriend recently due to the fact that I just started school, bad time at home and moving out in October - so for me having to take care of her was too much for me. She's one of the only ones I told my dad was a drinker and mom was abusive.
My dad drank (sister told me) and still does. The reason why I know this is because I can hear him opening up 3-5 cans in the basement with short intervals. He's hiding beer cans in their garage and their basement.
Dinner is awkward. I sit next to my dad on the left side of the table. My mom as the only one on the right. My mom and dad opposite of each other. I eat while mostly looking to the right to avoid eye contact with my dad and then I leave. Occasionally
emptying out the dishwasher if it's full.
Dad says random bullshit that no one cares about. I can even see/hear my mom being sarcastic (is this the right word to use?) with her answers to make him feel sort of relevant. Which also pisses me off because it fuels him to keep talking bullshit.
Still living at home. The only reason why I started studying is so that I can move out because I'm uncomfortable in my parents house. It doesn't feel like a home to me anyone. Yes, my bed is here - which is not even mine. It's a bed my parents bought. This house where I grew up have become a place I don't look forward to come 'home' to after school.
Why, /adv/? Am I being a bitch about all of this?
Pls reply
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A lot of sad people have kids. I think it's best the kids do what they can to escape these people if they have a chance at not being sad.
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>>18712817
>23 and living at home
stop being a loser. the best thing your parents, who feed and house you, could do is kick you out and make you take care of yourself.
Once you have actual problems, like feeding and housing yourself, you'll realize the bullshit you obsess about now is pathetic.
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>>18712924
Do you think my parents are sad?
>>18712936
I'm not sure where you're coming from with this. Have you had a similar childhood?
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>>18712944
not that anon, but your parents sound sad
perhaps you're being a bitch, perhaps they did a shit job raising you emotionally
either way, it's beyond the point of assigning blame now
what you can do and are doing now sounds fine you acknowledge some of your shortcomings and can work on them
and you're working to leave this house, which is the right move
so hang in there, anon
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