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So here's my situation /adv/. I've been with my college girlfriend 4 for years and she's the first girl I've ever dated:
>In long term relationship with girl who eventually wants kids
>I'm not sure if I'll ever want kids
>It comes up as we're talking on the phone (she's currently living 6 hours away, and my plan was to move in with her in January)
>Say if our future is so uncertain we should break up
>Have also been sexually frustrated because of the long distance, and have been growing less attracted to her because she doesn't share my fairly newfound love of diet and exercise
>We do, the call ends, I immediately feel immense regret and we end up texting later that night
Reasons I immediately regretted the phone call:
>She's always been supportive, very loving, and is for the most part okay with my flaws
>Aside from the whole diet and exercise thing, we share a lot of interests
>Basically she's a good girlfriend whose only crime was wanting to be with me forever
Anyway, we're talking later tonight and I know if I asked her to start over and forget this happened she would let me, whereas if that doesn't happen we'll probably never see each other again. I've just been depressed and anxious about the whole thing. Any opinions, guys? Was it right for me to end things because of our conflicting future goals, or should I just man up and accept that I have something good going for me? I have no experience with this bullshit
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Also I'm bad at putting my thoughts into words so if you need any clarification or more info just say the word.
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Desperation bump
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What you're feeling is pretty normal, considering that she's your first girlfriend and you're really young. Committing to the idea of marriage and kids at this point in time is huge. Some people are already sure about it, but a lot of people aren't, if they're being honest.
If your girlfriend demands this level of commitment to the relationship so early, it's reasonable for you to disagree. If this is a dealbreaker for her, so be it. But maybe if you try talking to her about this calmly and rationally, and explain to her that your hesitation has nothing to do with your affection for her, she'll understand.
Something along the lines "I can't honestly commit to something so huge right now because we're so young and that seems so far away to me, but I love you and I want to stay together, and it's my intention to build a life with you."
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>>18712700
Thanks, that sounds pretty rational. I just feel really bad because looking back on it it feels like I basically just broke up with her out of the blue because I've been thinking too much about marriage and kids. She has no such hesitations or hangups, so that just makes me feel like I'm a bad person if I ask her to stay with me, I guess.
It also doesn't help that I'm living at home away from all of my college friends to save up money for what was supposed to be my move to live with her, and the loneliness has me depressed and drinking too much :/
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