My boyfriend told me isn't sad when people die, and that

Sounds like a sociopath or he's being edgy.

Has he actually experienced first hand death? Especially of somebody he cared about?

>>18711336
Would he be sad for something ? Is sadness the only emotion affected by this "phenomena" ? This is interesting.

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>>18711336

I should mention this came from a very serious conversation where he felt he could open up to me about this. I instantly felt shocked and confused, and a little heart broken considering I've been so close to this guy for the past year.

I should mention that I have borderline personality disorder and it's highly common for them to end up in relationships with narcissistic people. Though I never though he was highly narcissistic, he's very confident... I don't know. I'm just overall confused and hurt.

Perhaps he sees life and death in the way of a Buddhist.

Before saying a word, he [Ajahn Chah] motioned to a glass at his side. “Do you see this glass?” he asked us. “I love this glass. It holds the water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious.”

All life ends and perhaps he has fully accepted this.

He probably would be sad but he's bad at empathising so can't put himself in the position of someone who loses a girlfriend/parent properly. I say that since I've had the exact thought your BF did but thinking about it more I realised I just can't imagine what it would be like and I misjudge my emotions a lot like that, he probably just has the same issue.

>>18711347
He was close to his grandma who died a few years ago and said he wasn't emotionally effected by it. It seems like he just feels "sad" because he's losing something and not that this person struggle or felt pain.

>>18711369
That sounds about right, like he just can't process what he would feel.

>>18711336
This is probably not *quite* normal. Reduced affect, low empathy and lack of compassion could be caused by trauma, like emotional abuse or something. It is almost normal under such circumstances.

It's also part of being a sociopath, but being a real full blown sociopath takes much more than that. As his gf, you should definitely know if he's a sociopath after 6 months at the latest. Is he manipulative or emotionally abusive? If you aren't certain yet, he most likely isn't a sociopath, and his issues do not entirely disable him.

Ask him why he wouldn't feel sad. Try to learn more about him. Understand that no one is perfect, and this might just be his specific imperfection.

>>18711365

>>18711373 here with an addendum: if there is any indication that he might be an actual narcissist, the only sensible thing you should do is GTFO.

>>18711370
Or perhaps this is his way of playing off the feelings he did have? Your feelings in complex times don't come labeled, so it might be the case where his persona attributed the sadness to the loss of something. The fact is, he still felt 'sad', which proves he feels something negative, which is normal. It doesn't matter what he wants to call it.

That being said, death impacts people in many different ways. Some people prefer to say it doesn't hurt them because they feel it lets in too much emotion for them to deal with. It's very unlikely he has severe mental issues if this is the only symptom. I recently lost my grandparents, and while the first one made me quite upset for a few days, the second loss actually never really had me feel too bad. It can also depend on how you accept the death, the events leading up to it, your actions in it, if you harbour any guilt. If he was expecting his grandma to go, made his peace with it and spent the time he wanted to spend with her he may indeed have felt very little for the loss.

In my experience, and I work as a paramedic so I see death of people I don't know commonly enough, it's not normally the actual fact somebody has died that affects you, it's the relationship with the deceased and your attitude towards death.

As someone that's the same way, I can tell you it doesn't necessarily mean he's a sociopath. Is he otherwise loving and caring?

>>18711378
He's very kind and sweet to me, but does express that he experiences "object permanence" issues with relationships and people. As in if I'm not around physically, my existence is easily forgotten.

>>18711385
Well, it's unlikely he's a sociopath. If you ever betray his trust though, he'll probably ghost you, even if you've been together a long time.

>>18711336
nice grammar you dumb normie bimbo slut, go fucking face your problems on your own like a responsible human being.

First of all not giving a fuck about people dying is not a narcissistic trait.

Secondly, is your boyfriend, by any chance into Buddhism, Hinduism or just into eastern philosophy? I feel the same way about death as he and for me the "cause" was exposure to eastern ideologies. It sounds a lot like non-attachment. I'm not going to explain the whole philosophy behind it, but, know that there's nothing wrong with the way he sees the world. If anything, it's a lot healthier and more realistic than the way westerners see it (at least in my own biased opinion).

its actually normal and all these cucks saying otherwise are chemically imbalanced

>>18711336
I lost my parent when I was teen, since then a person's death have moved me just little or not at all. I've heard that this happens to lot of people with similiar cases; not because the lack of empathy but you've started to cope with the fact that death comes for everyone at some point. You basically stop to neglect into people too strongly and recover much faster from a loss than person who haven't had that kind of experience.

>>18711342
>Sounds like a sociopath or he's being edgy.

This.

If he was a sociopath, he'd probably know enough not to verbalize that shit (because sociopaths understand, they just feel it's illogical/unnecessary) and it would probably be more prevalent in other parts of his personality (like he wouldn't give a shit about people in general--not just if they die).

My bet is on edgelord.

Cures for this: Several birthdays.

>>18711336
>I'm a very sensitive, emotional person
Me too. Do I value life? No. The physical universe will cease to exist sooner or later, so all my worldly actions do not matter. Therefore dieing sooner or later doesn't matter, therefore other people deceasing doesn't matter. It helps me deal with death and other darker life events.

Does it make me less emotional and sensitive? Definitely not.

op you need to work on your dick sucking skills if your bf won't even be sad when ur dead

>>18711415
angry virgin over here.

>>18711336
Either these >>18711342 (which is doubtful given what you have said about him), he is on the autism spectrum (he would completely lack affective empathy and struggle with cognitive empathy for people he doesn't care about if this was the case), or he has a rarer condition/suffered child abuse.

Either way don't take it to heart. He isn't a bad person for a mental defect he has, and he still cares about you. He would also have alexithymia if he had any condition that causes this, which would make it hard for him to appropriately describe his feelings so it may have came off harsher than it really is for him.

Being sad never cured anything. The world could give one shit about sad people. The man seems to have found a way to not let the most common tragedy get to him. You want him to be a wreak, incapable of consoling when eventually everyone he loves disappears one by one?

Everyone should be in some way aware that it's inevitable, and if you can somehow overcome great tragedy and still maintain a life without letting the emotion control you, then I'd say good for him. I've had family die, and I've felt immensely about it, but I still want to keep on going.

I don't think anyone that dies wants the people they left to feel bad about it.