Boy here, what is a good way to confess love to a girl? Wednesday

>>18708744

How old are you, friend?

>should I also take medication that makes my head calm down

Don't self medicate. If a doctor prescribed it, then take it as the doctor said. Don't take an extra dose to "calm down".

>>18708753
>you need to be at least 18 to post to thus site
Let's juust say 18 is close to 17 which is nearly 16.
I dont think this info matters but she is also 1 year older than me

>Dont self medicate....
Alright so no meds for me

>>18708761

Don't tell a girl you barely know you love her. As a matter of fact, don't tell people you are not dating that you love them.

You are over-investing on a person that, as far a I can tell, doesn't really know you, right?

My personal advice is: Don't do something that makes you feel bad. If you feel so nervous about approaching this girl, you probably know she will say "no". Go out with friends, and meet girls you actually feel comfortable with.

>>18708744
You don't confess shit, you ask her out.

>>18708769
So I forgot to put in that we are friends for 5 years and we both know each other really well. I think that getting a yes-answer is very likely but I just don't know because we both went to the same school and I left so I feel like if she says no it could get really awkward going back there to visit some of my other friends.

The reason I asked if mediaction is usefull is because (like now) I can't think normally and forgot some vital information..... sorry for that

>>18708782
Ask.
Her.
Out.

Don't.
Confess.

>>18708782
>that we are friends for 5

Even so, don't tell people you are not dating that you love them. It's weird.

>I think that getting a yes-answer is very likely

I doubt it after 5 years, but let's assume you are right. My last post still applies. Asking someone you know out shouldn't make you so nervous. You know her, dating should be fun. The fact that you are like this means you know this will not go well.

But if you really want to do it, just ask her out. That's it. No "confession", no "love", no nothing. Just ask her out someplace. And for the love of God don't take pills because you are nervous. Really, don't do it. People get sick for taking shit like this. You are no doctor.

>>18708787
Even though you gave no concrete advice except just say something, I guess>>18708790 just elaborated and gave the reasoning behind why asking out is better.

>And for the love of god dont take pills because you are nervous. You are no doctor.
I had 2 tests done (autism and ADHD) and the results were as vague as can be (diagnosed and not diagnosed with the different ilnesses on both different tests....) so meds were not something out of the question.
My brother uses prescribed ADHD medication and I thought if I used those for once it is not a big deal. But like you said I am not a doctor and I will never use them then.

I thank you both for helping me out.

>>18708815
>I guess>>18708790 (You) just elaborated and gave the reasoning behind why asking out is better.

Just for the record, I think she will say "no" and you'll be back here whining in less than a week. But yeah, if you don't want to hear me and want to still pursue her, then ask her out.

>>18708829
I'm not whining? I just give the facts that make you understand what I'm doing and why.

> I think she wil say no
What makes you say that?

>>18708852

You are not whining now. You'll be back, and then you'll whine.

>What makes you say that?

I've been you, mate. And I've seen guys like you on this board for a long while.

>>18708815
why did you get tested for autism? do you have trouble with social interaction? if so be very careful with this because girls are superficial as fuck and easily get weirded out if you do something in a way that's uncommon or not socially accepted

for example the direct approach you mentioned is dead wrong

>>18708860
To be fair I think I should take everything said on this site very seriously and also not serious. If I get to see all the ways to do something I will pick the way that suits me best.
If you say that I am like the other guys I will keep that in mind and acknowledge it, but I assume that the majority of people who come here ask for advice do it because they have no start. I do I just need to know which paths there are.

>>18708915
I got tested because of trouble with social interaction, yes. However that has been 5-6 years ago and I have no more problems with talking to people or anything.
You say it would be wrong to do something uncommon or not accepted but she knows I have my ''problems'' (like the possible ADHD I mentioned earlier) and she is fine with me just being me so I don't think that is a problem.

You guys say direct approach is wrong but can anyone explain why it is wrong? (Keep in mind that we have a close relationship for the last 5 years so being direct is not weird)

>>18709003
>I do I just need to know which paths there are.

There's always the path of asking someone that's already interested out. That's what people on this site lack, context. You can tell when a girl is into you, unless she is too shy to show it (which makes it hard to date her, too).

And it doesn't sound like she is that interested.

>>18709003
>You guys say direct approach is wrong but can anyone explain why it is wrong? (Keep in mind that we have a close relationship for the last 5 years so being direct is not weird)

Fine, I'll bite.

A direct approach is not inherently wrong, you just fail at making a distinction between direct and creepy. You've known this girl for 5 years, you've developed feelings for her, and you want a shot at being her boyfriend. You can tell her that, no probs whatsoever. That's being direct.

However, "confessing" to her that you love her, like in some really crappy movie, is bullshit. It's a lie. Relationships don't start with love, they start with mutual attraction and the intent to see where that goes, together. Love is the desired result but not the starting point.

By telling her you love her straight away, you're putting an immense pressure on her. She might like you, she might consider dating you, but does she love you? I mean, you might as well ask her to marry you and have kids with you straight away, it's the same principle. See what I'm getting at?

Take it slower, aspie.

>>18708744
Mate, I had the exact same issue last year. Girl I'd known for years, decided I fancied her, spent ages worrying about it and trying to build up the courage to say something.
I ended up asking her out over email and getting let down gently in person. We're still friends.

I'd recommend asking her out face to face when you're both alone. Play it cool, make it clear that you don't mind whatever she says, but that you want to know if you have a shot.

The worst that can happen is she lets you down and you're no longer friends, but most decent people won't mind you asking, even if they aren't up for it. But she might be up for it.

Remember, be polite.

>>18709003
>You guys say direct approach is wrong

Dude, you don't get it. The fact that you want to tell her you love her is creepy. Being direct is asking her out. She will get what you want out of a date, don't you think? That's direct as fuck.

But you sound like a love sick puppy, pinning after a girl that probably doesn't think much of you in dating terms. That's the problem here.

>>18709015
>That's what people on this site lack, context.
I am sure she's into me and she is interested in me. She has been struggling with school and some digestive problems (which made her really tired and a little moody) so that's why I want to be really carefull. I don't know if one small mistake may have big consquences.

>>18709027
This whole reply just makes what I think seem very dumb because I thought an earthquake might happen if I get rejected.
>Remember, be polite.
I guess just forcing myself on her wouldn't be a great idea.... I understand what you mean and I plan to be polite.

>>18709020
>>18709033
Now I understand. I just thought if I were to open up and be direct (which she knows I rarely do) it would be better than to take a slow approach (by my definition, ask her out first). If I want this to happen I now get that I should take my time and give her time. I can't just make a relationship appear out of thin air. It takes time and needs to develop.


>>18709020
>Take it slower, aspie.
Alright fine gentleman I will keep m'autism in control :^)

>>18709161
>She has been struggling with school and some digestive problems

Is this really the time to ask her out?

Also, these statements are contradictory:

>I am sure she's into me and she is interested in me.
>I don't know if one small mistake may have big consquences.

Is she is into you, it's not a mistake. If it's a mistake, she is not into you. So you are sure, but you are also not sure. Weird...

>>18709161
Good boy, go get 'er. Remember, no pressure whatsoever. Not on you, not on her.

>>18709169
>Is this really the time to ask her out?
I know it is not the best time but if she likes me she just says yes to go out and if not we can still hang out. It's not like she has severe depression and I think that if I show more affection than "just being friends" it could help her.

>these statements are contradictory
>I don't know if one small mistake may have big consequences
I said before I am for sure overthinking this but now I realize that even IF she says no the world won't explode.
It all comes down to me thinking "I go all-in and it's either a win or lose situation".
How I think now is I must not do that and "take small steps to get to my endgoal".
Because I put so much value to the question of "do you want to be my gf" without having taken any steps before that is what made me so insecure.

I am sure she likes me and I am sure she will say yes

>>18709187
>I think that if I show more affection than "just being friends" it could help her.

Hero complex. You can't save her with love.

>Because I put so much value to the question of "do you want to be my gf" without having taken any steps before that is what made me so insecure.

At least this part is better. Glad to see what we said reached you.