What's the difference between a Christian family where the

>>18706311
Anon the parents job is to teach them ways to live a godly life. Once they become adults the parents can't control what they choose to do. Some don't even make it to adulthood before making their own adult decisions like having promiscuous sex. I should restate that, once the children reach the teen years it's harder to control what they can and can't do. And then once they become adults less can be done.

They are their own person and are allowed to make their own decisions. Some turn out worse than others for a period of time, or even indefinitely.

>had conservative christian parents
>would get my ass fucking beat bare ass with a belt if i did something as simple as yawn in church
>turn 12, more freedom, bed time at 8 instead of 7
>oldest siblings who are 17 and 18 go fucking nuts and start smoking weed, drinking, and doing other drugs
>parents find out, don't know what to do
>older brother fist fights with dad and he gets kicked out
>older sister smokes so much weed but parents eventually parents don't even care
>they learn from their mistakes
>let me stay up till 9 now, i can eat cereal whenever I want, I can watch M.A.S.H instead of having to take a nap when it comes on
>older siblings chilled out and became good people
>I got more freedom as I got older, they didn't care if I had a few beers or chewed a little bit of tobacco by the time I was 16
>I became a good person with a great ethic because of my freedoms

i think it's more freedom = more self control = better people in the end.

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>>18706311

It can be many things; Social influences, pure circumstance, personality [conflicts].

That, combined with personal agency. As long as people have free will, they will, you know, use it.

My parents did everything right and I still went to the dark side. My sister turned out perfect.

>>18706311

Trying to force your kids into what you want them to be will backfire 99% of time. Giving them the knowledge and skills to become that and then letting them make their own choices and mistakes will usually encourage kids to act in a way that they know will make their parents proud.

>>18706419
Doesnt mean anything. My brother didnt have any rules when he was growing up and turnee out shit so my parents flipped the script and I had tons or rules. He lives in a trailor with his wife their child and her previous child. Hes working at babies r us as a cashier. I put myself through community college by working as a manager at walmart and am a junior sys admin at a hospital.
Each person has different tastes and that decides how they end up.
>>18706311
You might as well be asking how to make your sons ass men instead of titty men. Your best bet is to make them autistic and anti social so they dont have the option until they are past the hormones of teenhood and stop caring about sex as often.

>>18706311
>I've seen both cases and I can't figure out at what point they diverge.

they diverge at birth. fucking hell they diverge before birth because who mom and dad are is the first divergence. after that it's all experience. even identical twins in the same household will have enough different environmental experiences that they can be vastly different people.

there is no real answer, but if you want a formula to fuck a kid up repression, authoritarianism and blind faith are pretty good ways to do it. and not only will that fucked up kid not necessarily become a whore because of it, but they might not even show it.

I mean just consider nuns traditionally believed they were married to jesus, and not because of some abstinence believe but because simply believing actually drives some women to orgasm. That's right, look it up, nuns full on came from imagining jesus.

So yeah, it's not really predictable why one "christian" kid will be a whore and another won't.

>>18706311
yeah man they're Christian so they ought to be exactly the fucking same, right?

>>18706430
>My parents did everything right

I find that to be a dubious statement at best. I mean for starters you ostensibly learned what was "the right way" to do things and often kids who are belt whipped believe as adults that belt whippin is the only "right" way to raise a kid.

I'd wager your parents fucked you up and you're either denying it or don't understand it.

It's mentioned a few times but the more reasonable (which doesn't mean no punishments or anything, just hearing your kids out from time to time, not being the strictest parents on the block) parents are the less kids tend to feel the need to rebel against them in puberty.

>>18707355

>I'd wager your parents fucked you up
My sister received the same parentage as me, at the same time. The difference was *me* not my parents.

I was always too strong-willed and emotionally intelligent for them to control. By age 13 I was controling *them* via manipulation. No open rebellion or anything - just subtle string-pulling. They weren't authoritarian, or hyper-strict, or any of that. I didn't fuck or do drugs to spite them or any such bullshit (though i did do those things). I just valued control of my own life and refused to surrender it to anyone - parent, pastor, or even a god.

>>18706311

I don't think there's a magical recipe to "get it right". It depends very much on the type of education but also on the child and the environment it grows up in (i.e. rural Kansas won't be the same as the ghetto in the west coast or the suburbs in Arizona). Honestly I think people can only make and hope for the best as well as staying flexible enough to change if it's not going well.

taming is about high reward and high punishment at the same time
tradition must be explained and taught correctly, otherwise your children might think it's some useless shit and not the fabric that binds society

Probably the difference between regular Christians and evangelical, tongue-spasm Christians.

I can imagine that a christian family who is quite insular would create young adults who rebel. If the religion is very private and personal within the household and comes across as a bullshit form of hypocritical control with zero practical application in the community then teenagers who can be quite good at detecting when they are being fed bullshit by adults who are deceiving themselves and telling them to do as I say not as I do.

If that family is active in the community, the teenager can see that religion is a positive force for the community and the family, if there is social engagement and fun practical things to do with others especially then it isn't bullshit from their perspective and they are more than likely to meet people from similar families with a similar community focused mindset and see no reason to rebel against it at all because it is genuinely a good thing for their family.

I rebelled against my religious parents because they were weird hypocritical people who used religion as part of their unhealthy control games within their unhealthy relationship. It was a massive force for negativity when I was growing up and it prevented them from growing as individuals and actually being healthy and happy in life ... VS ... I don't have a problem with religion because my parents were healthy well adjusted individuals who used it as a force to do good within their community and there was a real sense of positive change and progress within the community which was just outside of money, power, pride etc, it was more spiritual and focused on goodness y'know?

Also likely relates to things like we are religious so you must do this now or else not only will there be terrible punishments, but you will always be a massive disappointment to me ... VS ... look at our life together and make your decision, I trust that you'll show good judgement because I've generally been a positive role model and love you unconditionally irrespective of your choices because forgiveness is coming.

Kids who can't gain validation through positive channels will often seek it out through more negative ones. If my parents were judgemental pricks who had such a hard on for god that they couldn't wait to do some minor condemnation of their own every time someone dropped the cutlery I'd be looking to shake them up with some bad behaviour because fucking with assholes is what would get me through the boring teenage wasteland.