How do I tell if he's The One(tm)? Picking who I'm

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How the fuck are you a virgin at 25?

>>18706110
Have sex with your boyfriend or at least do some non-penetration stuff.

You will know on your deathbed. If you are still married, he was The One.

>>18706110
You could easily acquire a Bill Gates sized wealth if you could answer that one. You'll just have to wing it like everyone else.

>>18706115
Never found anyone I liked enough to consider being with forever until now. Dating for anything other than finding a life partner has always seemed like a waste of time and energy to me.

>>18706119
We'll probably get around to that stuff when we meet by the end of the year, we're long distance at the moment so we've never even kissed yet. I worry sometimes about being that physically intimate with someone then having it not work out. It would be devastating.

>>18706121
>>18706128
Thanks, this is actually very reasonable advice. I guess everyone has to learn to take chances sometimes even when we can never see the future before it happens.

>>18706188
Remember that people don't get married thinking "let's see how long this lasts, maybe a few years." People get married thinking they will be together forever happy. An unlimited amount of things can change or go wrong over the years that can't be predicted and will end up in a divorce.

There's a lot of miserable women who dropped their love of their life for no reason other than they thought they could better and/or they'd still be waiting for them. Turns out they were wrong, and suddenly found themselves in their 40s, alone and miserable.
There's a case to be made in settling too easily, but "The One" is ultimately a very unlikely encounter. In reality you most likely will not meet that one person whose personality matches yours perfectly right out of the gate, but if you are already doing well and the both of you are willing to put in the blood, sweat and tears you can become that person for each other. If he's willing to do that for you, and if he makes you want to do that for him, he's as much of The One as he's going to get.

>>18706110
its not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. be prepared for hard times.

>>18706221
>>18706250
>>18706255
We've only been dating for a few months but already it seems like we're a great match and we talk about marriage and kids sometimes and we plan for the future together a lot. I'm definitely willing and able to put in the hard work and I feel like I've been doing a good job so far, he's willing and able but I haven't yet seen him do as much as me and he definitely has farther to go on himself than I do. A lot of that is the circumstances, he's living with his parents who he has a shitty relationship with and working long hours to save money for the next 9 months or so until he quits and moves, so he has significantly less time and energy to devote to self-improvement at the moment, but he's still working towards goals which I appreciate. He's the type of guy that is work working hard for, and I know that I'll give 110% to the relationship so basically it's in his hands now which makes me nervous I guess.

>>18706320
If you've been dating a few months without sex, then that's a sign he is maybe what you need. Most men would have called it quits long ago. Very few men would put up with being blueballed this long. It implies he's totally submissive to you and easy to control.

>>18706347
He constantly says that he'd wait until marriage if I wanted to, or never fuck me at all if he just got to be with me, that's just the kind of guy he is and how in love with me he is. But he is a horny little bastard sometimes and we talk dirty a lot and he talks about all the things he'd want to do with me, and he seems particular fond of the idea of eating me out or me sitting on his face, but I love that. He's admitted being into the idea of femdom though as well. We've waited so long because I'm currently in my last year of university so we're long distance until December.

Honestly I didn't think that anyone besides my mother would love me for who I was as much as he does. I'm always trying to be a better person to be the person who he thinks I am, to be deserving of that kind of love. Sometimes I worry that he thinks I'm so much better than him (or perfect or something) that he'll sabotage the relationship with his insecurities about himself, so I'm always trying to make him feel good about himself and tell him all the good things he does that he should appreciate more, and I'm trying to motivate him to do some things for himself so that he can feel that sense of accomplishment and maybe believe it more. But like I've said, he has a bad relationship with his parents and they've shat on him for his whole life so that's going to take leaving them and doing things on his own for a while to straighten out. He's also been waiting an incredibly long time to get into talk therapy to work on talking about these issues with someone. Fucking socialized medicine.

>>18706378
I was the same way with my girlfriend. The moment we had sex though everything was much better between us in terms of connection.

>>18706418
I'll be honest, it's going to be difficult to hold back in December even though we're both kissless virgins. I've never really had the desire to kiss or do anything else with anyone before, but now all I can think about is hugging him and kissing him, and sex seems like it would be so intimate and nice with him. What's your relationship like with your girlfriend now, if I can ask?

>>18706110
Don't wait for destiny to pick for you. Destiny is a cold bitch that hates you. At least pick _somebody_ (and soon!), rather than waiting to be a suicidal 30 yr old virgin wondering "where have all the good men gone".

Just pick somebody who is mostly looking for the same things (marriage, a long term relationship, etc) and who you get along with, you like their face, they are strong and dependable. Then stick with them forever, have their babies, whatever you will. Your connection will deepen over time.

The reality is your decision isn't really that special because _you_ aren't special. You should just look for someone who's good but not perfect, meets the criteria above, and lock them down. The longer you wait the more you will have to lower your standards. My cousin is a solid 6 out of 10 but never dated until she was in her 30s. I think she went baby crazy because she started online dating, met an ugly beta 4/10, married him, and got knocked up all within about 2 years. I think she's at least happy with her marriage and the guy will probably not leave her/cheat, but she could have met a better man if she hadn't waited so long.

Keep meeting new people, it's partially just a numbers game. IMO, with some work you should be able to meet the person who you can turn into "The One" within a year or two. I assume your virginity is special to you. If so, it is okay to save it, but don't let fear of losing your virginity to the wrong person keep you from opening up.

>>18706477
wrote that before reading other comments. disregard my autism Oh pee.

>>18706477
>>18706492
Not a problem, I figured the first phrase might be inflammatory enough to get a couple people to skip over most of the thread and post anyway desu. I've done the same thing myself.

You still made some good points, it's interesting because I'd never thought of my virginity as important to me back when I had no one I felt like losing it to, it was more just "something that never happened I guess I might even be asexual who knows". But ever since I met my boyfriend it seems like a much more important thing now if that makes any sense, because I feel like doing things with him that I've never felt like doing before. The more I read the more I think that I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth and question my good luck, some people never find what we already have in a few months. I should just take it because it's something wonderful and give it my absolute best and hope that he will too.

>>18706110
No such thing, you will have many exes

You'll never know anything for certain. I'd say it's arrogance to think that us as humans can know exactly how we're going to think and feel 60+ years from now.

I don't have the answer for you, and neither will anyone here since you don't even have the answer for yourself. All I can say is trust your gut. If you think it might be right, go for it. If you think it won't last, don't go for it.

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>>18706320
>We've only been dating for a few months but already it seems like we're a great match and we talk about marriage and kids sometimes
No offense but you guys have been long distance this entire time right? There are so many factors that you usually miss in that sort of situation. From the no sex till marriage, to him having a bad relationship with his parents but forced to live there.

I was once in a similar situation and the shit you're describing is very familiar, but it still ultimately blew up in a bad way. There are just some factors that they may not mention or don't sound so big. For instance it turns out she regularly slept in till noon or later and would bitch me out all day if I made too much noise when preparing for class or work. No idea that was going to be a thing until we met.

I'm not saying it's game over, but don't rush to move in when you've visited only once or twice. Wait till you've spent a significant amount of time with him in meat space before you make any significant decisions.

>>18706867
That's just bestowing the whims of your emotions with mystical properties. I hate shit like this.

For a lot of people "trust your gut" doesn't work because their gut doesn't say anything, or it gets aggravated at anything new or difficult. But in order to experience life fully we need to experience things.

>LDR

Had 3 of those, american, finnish, taiwanese girl.

All those ended for different reasons, mostly because it was too hard and too much of a gamble to find out if living together was gonna b sweet.

I really hope he's the one for you OP because that would make for an interesting story.
But a few months of acquaintance and a lot of space is a bad judge for an actual marriage.
For you to know this for sure, you need to live with him as a BF for at least a year, and if the feeling remains, sure go marry him but this will become the mandatory testing grounds.

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>>18706110
there's so much wrong with this mentality
hollywood fucked your head big time
why can't you just love* without contracts and absurd lifelong planing? you're already setting it up for failure

*I don't know what this means anyway

Personally, my One has been right with me the whole time. We met a few years ago and our relationship had quite a few issues (mainly on my end, desu), but every time I broke it off for some reason or another, she still stayed my best friend and took care of me until I inevitably asked for her back, and every time I did, she took me back. She's far better than I deserve, and I'm going to try my best from now on to be the best I can be for her.
>>18706347
>Totally submissive to you and easy to control
Holy shit, Anon. You must treat your men/women like total fucking dirt if that's what you look for in "The One".

>>18706128
/thread