I have way too much time on my hands, i'm fat and going

>>18704235
Are you working?

>>18705651
No, looking for first job.

>>18704235
you need to deal with the madness problem first, which probably caused by depression insomnia attention deficit and other issues

start with depression, once you get rid of that tumor you'll be free to slowly morph into your ideal being.

depression has a shit ton of symptoms which also help strengthen it
so identifying these symptoms and slowly dealing with them are very important .
you've already identified one which proves that some hidden part of your psyche is trying to fix the rest .

Insomnia is one of the most dangerous causes of depression
it's hard to get rid of and leaves the untrained mind to it's own thought for a long time which slowly causes you to wallow in self loathing

you'll have to deal with both insomnia , intrusive thoughts and attention deficit.
which are the triple threat of psychological illness .

>>18704235
Exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on depression and general well being. Start by talking a walk 1/2 hour at least each day.

>>18706024
Lets start with insomnia since i've more experience dealing with it that anything else.

you'll need to finds it's roots, which can be easily found through self-inspection, which you should start getting used to if you're ever going to try to get out of the shit your in.
it's easy to use, just ask yourself some questions and after finding the answer ask more questions.

When did you first have trouble sleeping ?(approximately)
Does it get worse from there or better ?
What was happening during this time ?(horrible events in your life, weird thoughts starting to occur, anything really)
Is it related to your insomnia or did it directly or indirectly cause it ?

Then start thinking about it until you reach the root of your insomnia .
after you reach it you can ask yourself some other questions.
would the problem have happened differently ?
would it have been made any other way ?
is it your fault ?

this is just to make peace with yourself .
after finding the problem and dealing with it .
you can move onto something else.

>>18704235
Wherever in the world you live, there is a local government-run unemployment office who will find you a job.It will almost certainly not be a great job, but it will be one.

>>18706056
if this fails there is also the brute force method which should work perfectly with your insomnia but it'll be very hard considering your depression and attention problem.

it's Polyphasic sleeping .
in short, you don't have to sleep 6-8 hours a day to feel fully rested .
you can get the same amount of rest and even more if you sleep for 2 hours .
but the adaption period is a bitch to finish and needs someone to wake you up when you reach the "Zombie Mode" phase of it .
https://www.polyphasicsociety.com/
read about the Uberman sleep schedule and how to adapt to it.
it should fuck your insomnia side ways along side most of your brain .
you'll need a shit ton of brain power and motivation to pull it off, which may help you overcome some of your problems.

>>18706056
I have lost my family in an accident years ago. But i think i had insomnia before it, can't quite remember. Thing is, i'm starting to have irrational panic episodes, like this very night. I was sure a couple of bikers from the horizons were going to kill me for no reason. I was in panic. I think i'm starting to show schizophrenia symptoms with all of this. It's hard to find answers when everything inside me is tangled in one another. Isn't there a roundabout way without finding roots?
>>18706063
I'll look for it here, but i doubt. I live in Brazil, i never heard of those here, probably there isn't even one where i live. Can you list a few jobs that tie with what i said?
>>18706041
Will consider. Thanks.

>>18706024
intrusive thoughts are easy to deal with, you just need to know how to start.

personify these negative thoughts, give them a name a shape a face anything that can identify them.
Then proceed to insult them whenever they try insult you, and imagine yourself beating them up bloody.
at first it will seem weird .
but you'll get used to it in time and start feeling victorious against these thoughts
most important part about this is not being a beta while dealing with that imaginary voice.
or else you'll turn schizo .
remember it's your motherfucking brain in your motherfucking body and it's your motherfucking voice that is calling you a motherfucker, it's only fair to call it a motherfucking cunt in return.

>>18706090
also, like >>18706041 said
getting exposed to sun light helps with insomnia and sleep.
if you're gonna try polyphasic sleeping you'll need as much light exposure as you possibly can.
you should prepare a back up schedule in case you fail to do the uberman schedule .

>>18706024
Attention deficit is in my opinion the hardest of the three since it directly affects them .

Dealing with it will take both time and effort .
slowly start by picking up a book(Download it through the internet)
and start reading through it .
you don't have to finish it in one sitting or in a week .
all you have to do is read a page or two everyday .
and this is the most important part EVERY DAY !
you don't pass a day until you've read a page or two
you'll slowly be able to add to the total amount or pages per day.
but the most important part is to be able to start reading and to resist stopping .

>>18706090
You should also strengthen your will power on the side , since it's the nuclear strike of mental powers .
there are a lot of books about will power one of the best is called willpower instinct .
there are a lot of easy exercises that you can follow in that book to increase your will power .
with enough will power you won't have other mental problems.
So i guess this is the hardest shortcut you can take but it's quite effective .

>>18706135
>>18706127
>>18706114
>>18706103
Thank you. Those are really solid advices. But what about a job? I need to occupy my time. I have all of the day free. Being insolated contributes to all of my problems.

Last bump.

>>18704235

Hi. The first thing I recommend you to do is start exercising and eating better and less junk. This will be good for your physical and mental health and will help you sleep. Since you can't start school now I recommend you go find a full time job. Physical jobs would be good. Painter is a great idea actually. Plenty will train you and the pay is better than minimum wage. You could also talk to your doctor about your sleep problems and they may give you something to sleep or some other medications for the problems. Anyway by the time you start school next year you will feel a lot better and have some money saved. Hope things work out for you.