>tfw so much free time but nothing to fill it with >tfw

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>tfw so much free time but nothing to fill it with
>tfw have a full time job but spend o little time working I have almost as much free time as a NEET
>tfw main hobby is drinking coffee in public, feeling sad about life, browsing internet on my phone but I have to give up coffee to avoid my sleep being ruined

Guys, what the fuck do? I read books but it just makes me feel like a consumerwhore.

Part of the reason that I do nothing is that I feel like I have to do everything. People call you a pleb for not reading ten trillion boring books, which turns reading in to work. I look at programming and people say you can only be a good programmer if you go through SICP first, which feels like work.

I also abhor the fact that I dont have autism that lets me effortlessly work on somehting for 10 hours in a row. I read a book for 2 hours and feel like a failure when I stop reading. I have FOMO in an infinite number of ways.

I just get so damn fed up at feeling like I have to read ten trillion books. War and peace, boring dostoevsky shit, boring shakespeare shit, boring chaucer shit, boring dickens shit... and on and on. And its absurd because I already see "literary intellectuals" as hack frauds.

I'm so sick of seeing people live their lives based on doing things that genuinely enjoy them while I'm thrall to phoney pseuds. I don't even have the balls to live life according to my intuitions and just ignore what people think.