I was wanting some opinions on this, if you guys could help.

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I was wanting some opinions on this, if you guys could help.

>depressed as all hell (runs in the family, fuck you genetics)
>been fighting it for a long time
>it's finally catching up with me though
>been feeling worse and worse
>remembered that I have a bag of these sample pills that my doctor gave me a while back
>they're an experimental drug (at least they were when he gave them to me), and they didn't fix my depression
>instead, they sent me through manic highs and deep lows, almost like I was bipolar
>the lows were really bad; gave me suicidal thoughts, but I never acted on any of them.
>but the highs
>the highs were amazing; I was king of the world and more productive than I'd ever been
>never felt better in my life
>have enough of these pills for at least a few months

Should I start taking them again? I live in a small town and the only doctor within a reasonable distance refuses to treat me anymore for some bullshit that I can't get into, so getting a new/better prescription is nigh impossible with how little I make. Do I fuck myself up for the good days or stay feeling awful?