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GF cheated on me 2 years ago. Wasn't able to find anyone

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GF cheated on me 2 years ago. Wasn't able to find anyone else and move on. Lost all my friends and went into a pit of depression that got deeper until I had definite plans to kill myself last year. Bought a sportbike cause fuck it, I like speed and suicidal people don't care about the danger. It was pretty fun and I made a few friends temporarily (they ditched me because I was too slow). Started getting better and riding faster. Crashed it. Bought a newer nicer one. Kept getting better and riding faster. Started going on group rides. Now I'm going out regularly and hiding my plate, spending the night going 120+ on packed freeways and doing every dumbass reckless thing possible with what basically amounts to a sportbike gang. I know there's no way this ends except me dead or in jail but I have literally nothing else.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how things got so fucked up that I'm trying to turn myself into roadside served hamburger helper. I went to a top engineering school and used to be happy. I'm trying to think of some way out of this where I can be happy. But in a lot of ways I think it's all too late. I'm locked into a mediocre 60k job and now that my parents have completely given up on me and even forgotten that I turned 26 a few days ago I can officially say I have no one.
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Dude, man up and end the this off the road, not on it. What if you kill an innocent person?
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>1 reply telling me to get on with it
it really is all over isnt it
>>
where you from man?
bikes are a passion, don't just stop biking. Maybe sell your sportbike and buy a cruiser. Stop going 120+, follow the law. If you love the adrenaline take your sport bike to the track. Bikes could get you a girlfriend, friends, and a job. I'd say stay on this path to be honest.
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>>18697841
Things sound pretty shitty, dude. Being abandoned by people you trust and love sucks, but you wouldn't be on this Syrian knitting image board if you thought it was completely hopeless. There's at least one part of you that wants to live and to stop doing stupid shit in this "Sons of Suicidal Pussies" biker gang you're in.

So, fuck giving you advice for now. If you could unfuck your life with a snap of your fingers, what would your life look like right now? You can't work towards something unless you define it
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>>18698073
>get you a girlfriend
you want him to get cheated on again? terrible advice
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>>18698073
>where you from man?
yeahhhh im not sharing that after everything else
will i pick up friends? idk. I've picked up acquaintances.

>>18698079
>If you could unfuck your life with a snap of your fingers, what would your life look like right now?
Just having friends or people who cared about me would be a big step up. Having a gf I loved and could share everything with would be ideal, it made everything worthwhile and gave me purpose to be my best but I've almost written off the idea now after so much rejection
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>>18698268
>Want a gf because the last one is gone
>Recklessly ride motorcycles at high speeds on public roads
>Still no gf

Hmm, have tried going faster? Girls love antisocial recklessness don't they?
In all seriousness, the world owes you nothing and no amount of love will provide you with meaning. Your life is all about rushes and no grinding for self improvement. Stop waiting for a semi to roll over you and start being a useful person. Start with losing the street gang peers.
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>>18698268

you have used speed and evasion as an opiate to take the place, in short term, the gratification you got from companionship.

But you're now starting to realise how ephemeral that feeling is.

You're also young and immature, and you were young and immature when you suffered the betrayal. Your general immaturity basically made you weak to thoughts and actions that made you question ALL relationships you had, and not just the one that damaged you.

and I'm not saying your existential problems aren't real, but a 60k job is nothing to sneeze at. You have the capability of providing for yourself and others now and into the future.

If you fuck yourself up now, financially or physically, you are denying your future self, and any future relationship girl, access to your ability to provide. Say you find someone in 3 years, but you've pissed all your money away and lost that mediocre job. Well how helpful is that to having a successful relationship?

it seems to me strongly that you still haven't completely addressed your initial hurt and betrayal in a complete manner.
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Get stronger, or die, those are your only two options

grow some fucking balls dude
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>>18698658
>grow some fucking balls dude
I thought I was desu

>>18698326
>Stop waiting for a semi to roll over you and start being a useful person. Start with losing the street gang peers.
How do you even go about that? This is the first time I've made any real connections with anyone since college
Thread posts: 11
Thread images: 2


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