I have absolutely no friends online or off and the people that try to get close to me I invariably push away. I work but try to have as little interaction as possible and I can tell people think I'm weird or think that I that just hate them. Suicidal thoughts are a daily occurrence and have been for years because of crushing loneliness. My life is a contradiction in that I desire to have friendships and to be close with people but my brain is simply hard wired in a way that makes those fantasies impossible.
How can I change this?
Learn to enjoy your own company first
>>18697108
Agreed. If you hate yourself, you can't even get close to anybody
Maybe join a club? Volunteer someplace? That way you can do something good and possibly expand your social circle in the process
Are you on any kind of medication for your depression? It won't fix everything, but if you feel that you're hardwired for depressions and/or anxiety, definitely some pills would help fix whatever inbalance you have in your brain. Or, if pills have an adverse effect on you, take up some sort of physical activity; running, biking, sports, etc. because excersise can fix chemical inbalances as well. It's a lot easier to work on your personality when you aren't depressed and anxious all of the time. I know first hand exactly what you're going through, and you can change it if you really try to.
>>18697261
Its common for a lot of depressed people to not be on medication, either because they're scared, or are disallowed it etc etc, I've found that talking to close people to be a help, but I wouldn't go to 4chan to make friends
>>18697266
That's why I asked. If OP is not on medication then they should definitelu consider it. It's very cheap to get and can help immensly. I was scared to get on medication for the longest time, but after I decided to try it, I can't see myself ever going back. Sometimes depression really is just a chemical embalance and nothing else. It's really hard to make friends when you are depressed, and pills or excersice really go a long way.
>>18697266
>>18697266
i would be better to make friends on the work or something like this, 4chan is not a good place to make friends buddy, too many crazy people here e.e
>>18697283
Can't argue with that.
>>18697296
Agreed... 4chan is full off plebs and niggers