I have to do work that involves sitting at my computer, at home.

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I have to do work that involves sitting at my computer, at home. For now I am a NEET, and if I wish to no longer be a NEET, the work I produce at my computer needs to be top shelf.

The thing is, starting from when I was about 13, I learned to use the computer monitor as a sort of barrier. I sat there for hours just not doing anything but enjoying the comfort and the safety. I played games, read manga, watched movies, even studied on my own, anything that gave me something to do behind the computer screen.

Now, this work I am doing, it is not exactly giving me a sense of safety. It involves problems that require a lot of time and drafts to go through and most of all, focus. Focus that is so hard to have when everything that offers safety is just a click away, but I dont think thats the problem. If that were, I would try those siteblockers or selflocking apps but I know those will fail. It is because I feel too safe behind the computer screen. I want to return it to just being an object. I think I made my computer a replacement for my mothers arms.