So people mostly on the internet keep telling me to get a date

That only works if you're attractive, if you're ugly, it doesn't work.

anyone?

>>18691162
This is dumb advice

>>18691157
It's hard to tell what your problem is cause there's a huge chance you could be going about this the wrong way, and from the tone of your post I'm 95% sure you approach these girls from a timid stand-point as if you're asking them to be your friend but you don't want to bother them but you also want them to be your friend and this can be off-putting to a lot of people, even the nicest of ones. My advice to you would be to perhaps try and work on your own self-confidence and self-esteem and start checking out dating coach videos on youtube, not pick-up, but dating coach cause there's a difference. I'll recommend The Natural Lifestyles, especially James Marshall, he teaches some really solid concepts and you'll hopefully be able to figure out what it is you specifically struggle with. Good luck!

>>18691285
That only works if you're attractive, if you're ugly, it doesn't work.

>>18691285
It's not dumb advice

Attractive man approaches woman = ok

Ugly man approaches woman and says the same thing = "creepy"

>>18691285

I've gone over tons of the modern dating stuff. I don't know what's more confident than trying to walk up to women and talk to them, but if they ignore me or walk away constantly at some point I feel like i'm trying to hard, it's been ages like this

>>18691353
It's dumb advice that's based on nothing but shallowness perpetuated strongly by the current swipe-right culture that we're in where people like you think that looks are all there to people.

>>18691380

When you go out and approach women for the first time you are bound to get rejected, you are bound to get blown out but very rarely, you are bound to even get a number abut the girl never gets back to you, but the trick with all this is knowing your self-worth and being okay with whatever outcome happens. I'm not going to sit here and tell you there's a secret to not getting rejected cause even if you have the confidence of a movie star there's a girl out there who won't like you.

You are never gonna be the most attractive man in the world, you will never grow 5 inches taller or have a more square jaw, so you work with what you've got if your confidence is in the toilet people will know and no one will want to go out with you. If you think you're entitled to every woman you go talk to then you're doing it wrong.

>>18691399
>Thinks only looks=attractiveness

That's where you're wrong and that's why you don't get that>>18691162 is true, for better or for worse.

>>18691399
>for the first time

What made you think this was my first time? I said it's been ages like this

>>18691399
>if your confidence is in the toilet people will know and no one will want to go out with you

How is approaching women not confident?

Also you never stop hearing about the insecurities of people in relationships, they're not confident people? Why pretend just cause i'm single that i'm not confident?

>>18691431
If you're stuttering, avoiding eye contact, mumbling, or otherwise acting like a scared child you're not confident. Even if you're approaching a woman.

>>18691428
>ages
Very specific, it could be 6 months or 6 years, either way it doesn't matter cause you still haven't learned the fundamental reason I told you about being able to accept the fact that not every girl will like you.

If you had, you wouldn't have made this thread. And if after "ages" 100% of the girls you've approached have cold-shouldered you on the spot then you must be doing something horribly wrong. Either something with what you say, your hygiene, or your general aura, I don't know you so I can't tell.

>>18691435
>If you're stuttering, avoiding eye contact, mumbling, or otherwise acting like a scared child you're not confident

No not at all, that's closer to how they act.

> either way it doesn't matter cause you still haven't learned the fundamental reason I told you about being able to accept the fact that not every girl will like you.

I have accepted that years ago, what I haven't accepted is that ANY wont like me. Ive seen everyone in a relationship, from homeless, to nerds, to punks, to food enthusiasts.. i just don't understand why it's never worked out for this long.

>>18691408
There's more to attractiveness than just your physical looks.

>>18691431
>How is approaching women not confident?
It actually isn't.

It's one of the biggest myths being perpetuated today. A man should be able to go talk to any woman he sees without hesitation the same way you'd talk to another man you see in public who had a sports jersey for a team you also supported. Most men carry this chip on their shoulder where they think that just cause they went and talked to a girl first then they displayed such a huge show of bravery and are only setting themselves up for failure in the likely scenario that the girl doesn't give them the reaction they expect.

Approaching women today could be a bit of a challenge though cause most people want to be left alone. Especially if you live in a big city. That's why *how* you do it is also important.

>>18691437
>If you had, you wouldn't have made this thread

if i had what? i'm trying to read between the lines of this tough love bro advice but i'm just cynical dude. i know every girl wont like me, but when nobody responds for ages and I'm surrounded by every other type of person in a relationship I just don't get it

>>18691353
You should not be giving "advice" when you clearly have zero real life experience and all your knowledge of approaching women comes from /r9k/ memes.

>>18691448
>most people want to be left alone

then how do people meet?

>>18691451
My "tough love bro" advice is that if you have been approaching women as long as you're claiming to have been then getting rejected shouldn't be a problem to you by now.

But then again, it seems like you're saying you get rejected all the time, to which I say if you're getting rejected 100% of the time then it's *you* who is doing something wrong because if you're for example approaching 100 girls in a month, and you're absolutely horrible at this then at the absolute worst, at least 10 of them should give you a good outcome, that's 10 more women that you know this month, compared to the previous, so you forget the other 90. But if you're approaching 100 women every month and all 100 want nothing to do with you, then you're messing up royally and that's where I said you need to do something to fix it cause you're not really saying anything here that can be used to help. You're mostly just fixating on the ones that got away.

>>18691459
Just cause most people want to be left alone doesn't mean they don't want to meet you. I live in NYC where most people are in a rush to go somewhere but that doesn't mean I haven't meant and talked to girls while on the train/bus.

meet through friends

>>18691463
>cause you're not really saying anything here that can be used to help

well neither are you, you keep talking to me like I've never talked to a woman before just because I have such bad luck.

>>18691399
>It's dumb advice that's based on nothing but shallowness perpetuated strongly by the current swipe-right culture that we're in where people like you think that looks are all there to people.

now that's truly stupid. The perception of the unwanted unattractive male attention is not some new meme cooked up on the internet in the last 5 years.

And talking like physical attractiveness is not the single biggest edge or handicap in what amounts to a 'cold call' of a woman who has no other reason to have a connection to you before that is not good advice at all.

that being said, there is truth to the idea that theres a time and a place, OP.

>>18691444
>what I haven't accepted is that ANY wont like me.

nor should you, half the damn world is women.

But the reality is if you're not attractive enough to draw them too you, you're going down the hard road of the hunt, so steel yourself.

you're also not giving us any actual context or circumstances of examples we can use to refine our guidance.

This is getting derailed pretty fast, but there's one consistent trend OP - we need some specifics. What do you say/do when you approach them? What kind of conversations do you try to have? Can you give us an example where you thought you were doing particularly well?

>>18691157
What's that movie called?

>>18692391
It looks like Forrest Gump.

The "just approach strangers" only works for the Chris Hemsworths of the world. Same goes for online dating.

Just do what normal people do. Find someone through a friend who is in as desperate a position you are in.

>>18692406
>Chris Hemsworth
>attractive
These beauty standards are terrible

>>18692406
>Find someone through a friend who is in as desperate a position you are in.

Last time I tried this she ended up going for the friend instead, who ironically had a girlfriend at the time.

Post Pic OP
It could just be your looks.
Can't help you figure out a problem if we do not know it.

>>18692640
>It could just be your looks.

I see ugly people with attractive partners, i'm not concerned with looks anymore, i'm concerned with making a connection with others

>>18691157
Ask a friend, don't ask people online shit like this, you'll just get a bunch of bad advice. If you don't have any friends, find some before you go looking for a gf.

>>18692647
>If you don't have any friends, find some

sigh

>>18692646
Ugly people do not get partner by just coming up to people, they are usually introduced.
Source: me

>>18692646
By seeing what you look like it is easier to narrow down the real problem.
You could have a shitty haircut or you could dress horribly. There can one or more out of like a million things wrong with you.

>>18691518
You're not really saying anything other than, "I talk to women and get rejected"..guess what? so do most men, but like I said if you're getting rejected by 100% of the women you approach then you're doing something wrong.

>>18691554
>physical attractiveness is not the single biggest edge or handicap in what amounts to a 'cold call' of a woman

There's no objective set standard to physical attractiveness, from what I've seen on this site and on /r9k/ if you're under 6'0" tall then you can kiss your chances of ever being with a woman, yet all the time I see guys who are like 5'6" and balding walking around with beautiful wives and girlfriends cause they have something more to offer.

If you wanna keep mopping around that you're at a disadvantage cause you're not a Calvin Klein model then I ain't gonna stop you. Yes looks are important, but there are dozens of other things that are more important.

>>18692647
Gives advice saying online advice is shit gg

>>18692831
>but like I said if you're getting rejected by 100% of the women you approach then you're doing something wrong.

Like?

>You could have a shitty haircut or you could dress horribly. There can one or more out of like a million things wrong with you.

Why are you ignoring me? I've seen horrendous looking people with a partner still, I know looks only matter up until a point.

You finding me physically attractive or ugly will not help me literally at all

>>18693311
>Like?
How am I supposed to know? You've not given any specifics or indications about what you actually say or do so what do you want to hear? I don't want to see a picture of you either.

All you've said is "I get rejected" and mopped on about it for hours.

And you still haven't answered if all women reject you, some, or most. If all then yeah then it's def a problem, if most then that's standard basic and you should learn to get over it.

>>18693356
>you should learn to get over it.

ok thanks i'll just keep pretending I don't have feelings

>>18693592
Oh man just from this exchange I can understand why people aren't too excited about talking to you.

>>18693640
>Oh man just from this exchange I can understand why people aren't too excited about talking to you.

Explain

I would say that you need to start approaching women only expecting a friendship (or at least acting like you are). Literally all of my girlfriends I have gotten by being good friends with them first. That way, you guys know who each other are. Plus, from what i've experienced, most women don't like for guys to just come up to them and hit on them. Build a non-romantic relationship first. It works for me and I look like a fucking chipmunk.

>>18693864
he said "if most then that's standard basic"
for some reason you ignored that part of the sentence. reality is, everybody are just as insecure as you and wants others to entertain them, which can only be achieved by being yourself, that adds unpredictability into your persona and people loves that.
of course there is the risk of you spouting opinions and things that will shock people if you choose that route, but you can only learn "how much is too much" by getting slapped on the face, just like you probably learned the internal working of windows by breaking several installations (which might have given tons of headache to your parents).
also reminder that denying everything is easy, there are infinite reasons to not do something but at the end of the day, it is the positive mindset that brings you fruits.

>>18693890

Well I can't make friends if they won't even acknowledge me.

>>18693894
> which can only be achieved by being yourself, that adds unpredictability into your persona and people loves that.

I am being myself.

>of course there is the risk of you spouting opinions and things that will shock people if you choose that route

I never even get that far

>also reminder that denying everything is easy, there are infinite reasons to not do something but at the end of the day, it is the positive mindset that brings you fruits.

So what's more positive than trying to meet others?

thanks anyway

You guys know that the cold approach method is a meme, right? Nobody actually does that.

>>18694151

what do people do then?

>>18694151
>Nobody actually does that.
Nobody who has self-confidence you mean. If you're afraid to talk to strangers, then you must be afraid of a lot of things. Like not talking to strangers, is something we were taught a lot as kids, but at a certain point you got to be an adult about things.

>>18694396
>Like not talking to strangers, is something we were taught a lot as kids

I think the irony here is that full grown adults are treating each other like that.

File: Alexis-Ren-Nude.jpg (70KB, 1080x1080px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 1080x1080px

Everyone has to start somewhere OP

Just keep trying, I promise you will get better as you learn more and gain more experience doing it.

You probably have a blindspot and are doing some creepy weird shit and you're unaware of it, that or she can read your insecurity and lack of confidence all over your face, which girls are really good at doing

I'm basically a pua, who regularly practices cold approaches, like im talking 50 daily or so, and I can tell you I started off the same, now i get laid like crazy

The hottest, highest quality girls, no matter who you are, will always give you some kind of shit, because they are selective, if they don't give you shit, they aren't selective, and you should probably reconsider your standards unless you want aids

don't wait for an opening, if they act annoyed just keep plowing through and talking, also a lot of the time at the beginning of an approach you have to bear the responsibility of the conversation, you walked up and interrupted them doing whatever, now you have to lead the conversation until they're interested enough to give you something to work with. You can't just go "hey. What's up?" ... "what's you're name"... "i like your dress"... You're not just dropping some statement or question and expecting her to give you her full attention, and carry on the conversation, no you need to keep talking and steering the conversation till it's at a point you can comfortably slow down a little and let her open up and talk, but generally that won't happen right out of the gate

there's so much I could go on about right now, but i needed to go to bed hours ago. Look up RSD, Honest Signalz, and a good funny prank youtube called Angrypicnic, doing stuff like he does is a good starting place when you're new as an example of how to easily have fun and get numbers, even though a lot of the numbers he gets probably don't actually pan out to much, nonetheless some definitely do because of his fun cocky attitude

>>18695205
>if they don't give you shit, they aren't selective, and you should probably reconsider your standards unless you want aids

dude at some point do you ever question if you're actually helping or just making things worse

>>18695205
>you walked up and interrupted them doing whatever, now you have to lead the conversation until they're interested enough to give you something to work with

Why is success with women always equated to sales metaphors?

I was always raised to treat women as individuals not objects but this pick up artist stuff talks about women like a used ford focus

>>18695218
why would that be making things worse? it's the truth, hot girls have so many options it's ridiculous, if they gave the time of day to every chump that tried talking to her she wouldn't be in demand
>>18695224
like it or not, it's like sales because you're selling yourself, not treating them like objects

Well I've given up on talking to girls completely so I'm of no help.

>>18695983
>it's like sales because you're selling yourself, not treating them like objects

that is objectifying, you objectify them because you fear they won't accept you for who you are so you marginalize them to be these sort of sales quota fills so they don't seem as intimidating to you, but to me that is retarded bullshit

>>18696267
dude look, however you want to see it, these are simply the truths of the matter, sales and picking up women, both have an element of persuasion to them. call it retarded bullshit and get mad all you want, it's simply the truth lol, I'm not looking at them as anything other than a female human being, but there happen to be certain things you can say and do to help them make a decision.

I really don't understand what you're so mad about lel, do you not believe persuasion is a thing?

>>18691157
>sometimes when they act uninterested, it means they want to be pursued.

No, when they act uninterested, they are uninterested. If they want to be pursued they will flirt with you.

>>18695983
>if they gave the time of day to every chump that tried talking to her she wouldn't be in demand

Sure she would. She's hot. That creates it's own demand. This isn't economics.

>>18696929

I can't decipher what you're really getting at ultimately.

Can you just explain what the substance of your argument is?

>>18691157
I just replied a thread like this. You have to be friendly with them. You don't say the incantation or whatever and then they suck your dick. You need to treat them like normal humans. If somebody wants to fuck, they should start flirting.

>>18696963
>You don't say the incantation or whatever and then they suck your dick

????

>You need to treat them like normal humans. If somebody wants to fuck, they should start flirting.

You treat normal human beings like something you want to fuck?

I'm just.. i don't get it

>>18696981
>I'm just.. i don't get it

Reading isn't your strong suit, is it?