When should I care? Whenever there's ANY kind of situation,

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When should I care?

Whenever there's ANY kind of situation, group work, anything you can think of, I have two modes. Either I care or I don't.

I don't know which one to choose at any moment. If I care about the outcome of the situation, it annoys the CRAP out of my teammates/friends/whoever the hell I'm nearby. Their response to my effort is, "Calm down" or "Take it easy" or "It's not that big of a deal", and it's so fucking annoying because after thinking back on the situation I realize that others are going to see me as someone with insecurities and issues.

Now when I don't care, I'm the bad guy. Some people are tense, some aren't. Only one guy is tense, and everyone isn't but if I were to say "Calm down" or "Take it easy" or "It's not that big of a deal", I'm the biggest douche in the whole planet and I need "Help".

How the hell people can properly choose whether to care or not is beyond me. But whatever mode they choose, they're declared a Hero, someone they can look up to, and is backed up with support.

So /adv/ what the hell do I choose and when? Every day I deal with this dilemma, and I get it wrong every time. I don't think I'll get the answer here, but shit anything helps.