God i am so fucking depressed for a long time now, i can't

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God i am so fucking depressed for a long time now, i can't even remember the last time i was happy
i don't have friends and never had one cause we move a lot since i was a child
never had gf either
i'm alone all my life now and kept telling myself that it'll get better but it doesnt and i can't see any hope that it will in the future
i don't even know what's wrong with me i look completely normal why can't i be normal too?
im so lonely that i don't how to socialize irl i can't connect with anyone because maybe i don't have any common interests or hobbies
my parents have controlled my decisions all my life and why wouldn't i? it's for my sake after all
i can't take this anymore i have no one to talk to about my problems, i have no one else to share my feelings or at least let it all out
idk why im writing this here and i know you don't care if you're reading this maybe because it's better to share my thought, my hate and my pain with complete strangers than to people around me
i've endured all of this for 7 years now dont fucking tell me it will get better
it's better that i end it now than to endure more years of depression and sadness and be a pathetic childless loser in the future