I really wish I could get over this anxiety. I'm so afraid

I always was shy, when I was a teenager I couldn't even speak. I didn't say a word. Bullied loads. So then I was symptomatic of schizophrenia at about 18. Self harming, locking myself away. It past in my early twenties. Later in life I was totally incinerated off the face of the earth because I liked lingerie and posted a picture from a Kays catalogue and went viral. So then, it built up and built up until it was more or less

Hang on a minute

Anyway, after walking through that for a very long time I stopped caring, i'd been through the worst I could go through. Sleeping rough, being molested by weird people etc. I ended up a stronger person, it couldn't have been any worse so I fought back, read poetry, had a great time a strip clubs, drew loads of it.

Fuck it man, just go for it.Nobody liked loads of people but they still were really good at things.

Never had crippling anxiety, but I used to have fear of judgement.

That fear faded as I was gradually exposed to the world. Throughout school I was and introvert shut in and only talked to my other weird friends. But at some point I got a job as an apprentice at a computer (work)shop. One day I was needed to answer the question of a customer. I hated people, but a job is a job so I went out and talked to the guy asking about graphics cards. I was 19 and socially awkward at the time, but still nice to people. I recommended a model to the customer, he bought it and took off. After working there for 2 years I had been exposed to so many strangers on good days and bad days that I grew resistant to judgement. I've had people call me names, threaten me, applaud me, and even hug me. As with most things, exposing yourself to what you fear is the best and maybe only way to remove that fear. Now I don't give a shit what people think about me. By being a an average somewhat nice person it's nearly impossible for someone to judge you in a bad way anyway.

Everyone judges everyone else all the time. Being afraid of judgement is like being afraid of air. Let it go. Worst case scenario is that you make a fool out of yourself and people think "lol" for like 10 seconds then forgets about it. Others don't pay attention to you at all unless you make a real effort.

idk that's just my thoughts

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>>18684833
>Exposing yourself to what you fear is the only way to really move past it

I've been told this by my best friend, but I'm still having a hard time following through. My fear of ridicule is just so strong, and after my breakup with my ex is when it became apparent I had a problem with anxiety and judgement.

Also nice dubs.

You'll be judged and criticized for absolutely EVERYTHING you can humanly do in life.

People are judged and criticized for being beautiful, sexy, rich, happy, funny, etc. Wouldn't you want to be any of those things, or better yet, all of them together?

You'll be criticized for being afraid of criticism, hell, I was criticized in my workplace by my *male* coworkers after one of my *female* coworkers said she found my voice pleasant and remarkable, it wasn't light-hearted fun poking, they really hated on me for it. How did I react? I didn't, because that's exactly what they wanted, to bring me down somehow, and since I didn't give them what they wanted, I'm certain they burned themselves even more. Why would *I* give a shit about a bunch of unwashed losers and their hateful, useless opinions?

I used to be very much like you OP, then i realized life is too short for this and started to change. Every second that passes by, will never return, and you are slowly wasting away your life by being afraid of the opinion of strangers while being criticized for it anyway.
Just live your life man, you're not gonna have another chance and most people will be shitty, but the few ones that won't be shitty will make everything worth it.

>>18684870
>I'm still having a hard time following through
Do you have any practical examples? Like on what level are we talking here?
What are your can-dos and can't-dos?

>>18684945
Fuck if I know Anon. All I know is that I don't know how to get past my fear of interacting wtih strangers and as a result failing to improve myself.

>>18684935
Thanks Anon. I'll do my best to follow your advice.