hey guys, I've never used this board before but I really

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>>18680123
>I'm nothing
Wew. Go to psycholog. He will prescribe you some pills and do CBT magic and hopefully help you.

>>18680123
Look at yourself in the mirror at the beginning of every day and smile until you think your face is going to break. Make yourself laugh. Tell yourself you're great and important and plan all the great and important things your going to do. Nothing that I say and nothing that anybody else says is going to completely change your outlook on life and cure depression. You need to form long term habits to stave it off.

>>18680123
>I feel that I should/need to kill myself
yeah you could really benefit from some professional help

>>18680123
OP here. the thing is that I don't look sad/depressed. I'm not overweight but I'm not in super good shape either. I always go out with my gf and the little portion of other people that I actually care for. I smile a lot, and a lot of people say that I look happy. because most of the time I am. It's just that deep down I feel this way. that someday and someway I'm going to die. so why not now... And I'm willing to go to do psy but its really expensive and my parents are not willing to pay for it ( they're religious tards that told me to go pray when I'm down).

>>18680192
>i want to go to a therapist, but
>but

ok

>they're too expensive
do you have insurance?

>>18680222
I do but they don't cover all of it. with my job at a fast food restaurant I don't have a lot of money because i pay for my food, phone, clothes, college etc... I swear on my gf that if I had the money I would go

Quel religion sont tes parents?

>>18680232
well I'm in the same situation but because of that, I don't pay a copay. I'm not sure what country you live in, but they almost made not having insurance a punishable offense here.

so I would really have to open the books and break it down with you, to see whether it really is affordable or not.

college does sponge up a lot of money. did you utilize your college counselor?

>>18680236
catholiques très pratiquants...
Im from mexico

>>18680123
Do you have any hobbies?

You are 19 dude. You have a lifetime ahead of you.

>>18680253
Hobbies I do have. I read a lot of literature and i play street fighter in a high level (go to tournaments and all)

>>18680247
what do you mean my college counselor?
mb my English isn't that good....

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>>18680263
colleges have psychologists. if they aren't able to give you what you need, they should direct you to an affordable option. you shouldn't just neglect the problem.

>>18680284
should I go right away? I just started last week... what should I say... and thx btw

>>18680294
In my experience, most schools have psychologists. You'll have to check. In my experience, they can refer people to services that are affordable.

You should tell them the problem you're having and ask if they can help.

>>18680294
>thx
no problem

>>18680318
>>18680320

I'll go see my counselor Monday morning I promise.... thx again. ill go to sleep tho. i wish you the best

The right choice to do is look for professional treatment. I was (sometimes I still am), in the same place you are now. Is really hard when there's a storm inside of you, and the people just see how calm you look, because nobody knows your deep thoughts. I am marry, and when I start to think how to hurt myself, I remember that my wife and my sick dad needs me. I know, may be this won't work for you, but at least try. Take your own will damage your love one's, your girlfriend in this case.

>>18680337
thats exactly what I do. I think it. But I promised myself that i would always be there for her. thats why I ask help here first... i tell everything to my gf, this is the only thing she doesnt know... I will seek for professional help. I'll see what the counselor can do for me.
I Will seek for help. Thanks guys. this is appreciated even if it isn't much

Late teens and early 20's suck for American men. Give it until you're 30 or so before you decide to check out.

>>18680379
>wait until 30 to check out
not really. off the top of my head, I know that people might not be happy with where they are in terms of career until 40-50. that's not to mention all the other life changes that can happen.

>>18680388
40-50 is a fuck load of suck to endure. I'm outie 5000 if I have to endure 20-30 years of depression