Thread replies: 7
Thread images: 4
Thread images: 4
File: s78RdHc.jpg (856KB, 2396x2344px) Image search:
[Google]
856KB, 2396x2344px
I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I really shouldn't be feeling this way logically, but I am, and I don't know how to stop it.
Basically, I began dating a girl a bit after the end of my first year in college. We dated from April to June, in which she broke it off for her own reasons, wanting to understand herself or develop herself with God or some shit. Her and I had been friends since the 9th grade.
The problem is that, she is a shitty person, and was an even shittier GF. Basically, she was the type of person to flirt and 'fall in love' with every guy and girl and then move on. She even ((almost)) cheated on one of her previous boyfriends for one of her orbiters. She was literally, case and point, a hoe. Funny how when you see it through rose coloured glasses, all of the red flags look like regular flags. I noticed the red flags and still caught really hard feelings for her. We were together, and I was pump n' dumped. She was manipulative. During our relationship, she would continue flirt with her ''beta orbiters'' despite me telling her to stop. Throughout the relationship I contemplated breaking it off, honestly, the only thing she had about her was the fact that she was absolutely gorgeous. I legitimately was not happy in that relationship. Constant fights, the jealousy, the cold shoulder, the emotional roller coaster, the fact that she kept pushing a non-monogamous relationship, her inability to move on from one of her exs. I guess, I just missed the attention of a woman. My last relationship prior to that was 3 years ago.
The thing is, I acknowledge all of these issues. I understand that this woman is not girlfriend material, let alone friend material. I understand that my life is infinitely better without her. I understand that there are better women. I understand that I deserve better.
The problem, is that I don't care.
(1/2)
>>
File: 10474935_491848900940335_326977835_n.jpg (72KB, 480x480px) Image search:
[Google]
72KB, 480x480px
(2/2)
2 months have passed by, and I still 'miss' her. In the beginning, I did everything I can to move on and be a better me. I bought better clothes, such as polos, dress shirts, khakis, have been eating healthier, biked more often, ditched my shitty, fake, lowlife no ambition druggie friends and made stronger bonds with more mature, university oriented people. I've burned all of my physical pictures of her, deactivated my social medias, watched a dozen motivational youtube videos, read up on Zeno and his school of Stoicism, on Diogenes and his views of ancient Cynicism and have tried to implement those concepts in my life, and done everything I can physically do to move on. But I just can't.
Recently, I've slewed back into my old self destructive habits though.
She is on my mind 24/7. I find myself enjoying music that she enjoys, and 'nexting' songs that she disliked on my playlist. Whenever I go somewhere touristy (which is often, I live in a major tourist destination), I think, "Wow, she would have enjoyed this." This is gonna sound pretty fucking autistic too, but every time I jerk off my mind drifts to thinking of her. I've seen her in public once, but a few of my friends have seen her in public a lot and always text me telling me they've seen her and it ends up ruining my entire day. I get literally triggered. I see girls that look like her, or have a similar haircut in public and my heart just freezes. I've broken down in tears several times. I am a 6'4 man and this is not okay.
This isn't even my first relationship though. I mean, they've all been stupid highschool/middleschool ones, but even then as a stupid hormonal preteen, I took breakups pretty badly, so yeah, this is my first 'serious' relationship. She also did take my virginity, so maybe that has something to do with it.
I don't know what my objective is. I'll take advice, feedback, random facts, personal experiences, whatever.
Thank you for reading.
>>
No
Just no, cuckboy
>>
File: Screenshot_14.png (837KB, 943x427px) Image search:
[Google]
837KB, 943x427px
>>18677145
Thank you for your input.
>>
>>18677143
I look at it from this perspective. The only reason I personally am alive is to do good in the world. To make people happy and help. It's not always the best thing for me but I can rest when I'm dead.
Life is all about pain and how that shapes you, you can't learn any lessions without a few cuts or burns.
You can apply this perspective of thinking to pretty much anything.
TL;DR This is the important lesson and you should learn from it, or be consumed by it like you currently are. No one can hold your hand through it.
>>
File: Screenshot_21.png (519KB, 344x531px) Image search:
[Google]
519KB, 344x531px
>>18677164
Interesting perspective, thank you.
>>
Well thanks for the help. Cheers.
Thread posts: 7
Thread images: 4
Thread images: 4