Thread replies: 4
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: IMG_4486.jpg (64KB, 1280x720px) Image search:
[Google]
64KB, 1280x720px
>mother used to beat me and scream at me every day
>dad sat on his ass and did nothing collecting welfare and going in between dead end jobs
>brother I looked up to beat the fuck out of me for no reason and molested me
Was it all over from there? Can I recover from this? I literally can't make eye contact with people I don't feel anything normal like confidence or self worth and as soon as a girl shows affection towards me I immediately get disgusted and want them to go away and I only chase girls who reject me and treat me like shit
I literally have nothing. I fucking hate my family. I want to move out and never talk to them again but I live in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to leave unless I can go somewhere nice like a larger city or on the coast somewhere. I literally have nothing and no one my parents never properly prepared me for life they never helped me get a car or anything like that. Also I'm addicted to weed like there is no existing without weed anymore if I don't smoke I violently slice my arm open with knives and I have violent thoughts of raping and killing women while slaughtering my family and everyone I know plus I get violently ill to my stomach and I literally can't sleep for days on end I'll never quit weed.
Should I abondon my family forever and never to talk to them? I mean they're somewhat nice but i can never forgive them for this past and my mom has literally told me countless times that the brother that molested me is better than me and she hates me. I fucking hate them. I wish they would rot in hell. I just wanna get the fuck away from them and go to Atlanta or something in Florida like a small beach town. I fucking hate them. Will I ever be normal again? Like somewhat?
>>
>>18665254
I can't guarantee you will ever fully recover, however I do believe that you can become better.
First of all, I do think cutting contact with them would be the right thing to do. They're the source of your trauma and having to be reminded of it all the time prevents you from healing.
You need therapy. If a therapist doesn't work, I heard group sessions helps people with PTSD a lot. Having understanding, supportive and loving friends will mean the world for you.
Maybe that last point would be hard for you but I think if you can, you really should change your environment and how you cope with your problems.
>>
>>18665254
You are only bound by your imagination Anon. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Your parents suck. Hop on the next bus to "fuckyouville" and go start a new life. Once the people around you aren't abusive it's an uphill battle to find your self worth, but it's actually possible to love yourself.
I'm often the same as you. When people are kind or caring toward me I lose all respect for them an get a sick feeling in my stomach. Being able to remember in the moment that this emotional response is brought on by your years of abuse will help you get over this hurdle. It will NOT be easy, so don't fool yourself, but the sooner you move away from these people the better shot your have of success. Abusees are simply people that are trying to fit a square peg (you) into around hole (what they wish you were). Fuck that shit. It has no reflection on you. Get the fuck outta there brother. You will be better for it.
>>
>>18665254
When you said your dad who's supposed to be the patriach and keep the shit together in family just did nothing. It's time for you to jump the ship. It's sinking anyways.
Change your environment, man. Cut contact with your family, but if it's possible for you leave a door to reconnecting later, blood is thicker than water in the end still.
Get help, get a group theraphy with positive people who could help you keep each others in check. Do not be afraid to jump from the sinking ship.
Thread posts: 4
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1