How can I become more self centered? Im a pretty selfless person

>>18664974
You can't just be that kind of person because you want to... You have to hit a point of no return where you'll be hurt like you've never been hurt before, and after that you will become an asshole for a little while. Then you'll balance out and you'll be fine.

>>18664974
Less history, more mystery.

I get the same feeling. Human psychology teaches us that people consider those who are easily accessible as less valuable. Also, the person bending over backwards doing the favors seems to generate more of a bond than the person receiving the favors. Some people are aware of this and make sure it doesn't happen, though - that is to say, they will value you for all that you do. The best thing to do is to keep looking for the right friends, let them come to you when they need and also make sure they let you come to them with your problems. Friendships should strike a balance, if you aren't getting in return what you want, then it's possibly time to demote them to acquaintances.

>>18665031
Truuuu. Im about to be there from sheer loneliness and misanthropy desu.

>>18665043
You're a beautiful man/woman anon.

I completely feel you OP. I do the same stuff and I'm honestly tired of my friendships going nowhere and feeling used.
To answer your questions, yeah you're part of the problem and they're the other part. Some people are fucked, not all.

It's good that you're aware of it and want it to change. You could either ditch your friends completely.
Or you can remind yourself to stop offering to try to help.

People are using you because you're allowing them. You show no respect for yourself and you don't put yourself first, so why should they? It's difficult changing and it sucks that some people don't reciprocate, but just keep reminding yourself to do what makes YOU happy, not what makes them happy.

>>18665099
All truu. Thing is i thought helping people made me happy. But it ends up disappointing me when i see them trying to fit in somewhere else instead. I just hate how this works. I know nobody asked me to be a good person but what the fuck? How are good people in the wrong?

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>>18664974

OP, have you thought about getting better friends, or meeting more like minded people?

Reminds me of the saying, you can judge a persons character, by the people they associate with.

Anyway, I feel like OP. I, too am very nice and caring. My friends just respect it and praise me a lot for my ideals.

>>18665124
Meeting other people like me is tough. Especially because im very antisocial.

Being a nice guy sucks m8

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>>18665129

>Being a nice guy sucks m8

Stop making excuses and do it. Seriously. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Find good people, it's not THAT hard. I'm sure you're young, and the older you get the harder it becomes.

>>18664974

you sound out of touch with what gives you gratification in general.

>>18665135
Where on this planet tho? Everyone my age still cares about superficial, status-related shit. On the other hand its funny to watch my friends all branch off and pair up with people they want to be so they seem cool

>>18665149
Yeah. It changes often. At this point, i want to make money and live my life in peace and solitude

>>18665153

but not as much as being selfless.

unless you're not selfless, you're just a doormat.

so thats your problem i see. You're either losing site of how being selfless gives you some gratification. or being selfless is an affectation of other things and you're just okay with people trampling you.

>>18665161
You got me. Although its more of the 1st one. I need gratification through genuine bonds with people

>>18665135
> I'm sure you're young, and the older you get the harder it becomes.

You got it backwards. Its the older crowd that are all nice people. I'm 29 and most of my friends are in their 50s.

Think u need actual friends