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I don't know what to do. I had these reoccurring suicidal

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I don't know what to do. I had these reoccurring suicidal thoughts that I couldn't control which made me very anxious, and I would have pressure on my chest. I also got a empty feeling a month or so after, and then it ended right before summer vacation after lasting a few months. Around the end of July, I had uncontrollable thoughts like "why am I alive" "I should commit suicide" for some reason. I don't know what to do. These thoughts are making me anxious.
>>
Someone I knew killed themself back in April and I'm still not over it. I am really close as well
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