I'm probably gonna kill myself in December, and I'd

Why would you want to kill yourself? Just curious.

>>18664438
Depersonalization is what I think I have, but it's probably an offshoot since it's pretty different from the common symptoms. Ego death? PTSD? Panic disorder? Elements of all of them. Plus the good ol classic major depression. I'm a husk. I'll leave it at that.

Ah, okay. Do you have any friends or family? Sorry that I'm not really helping by the way..

>>18664445
Go talk to a doctor you retard. Also what's with the "imma kms in Japan" shit? I think about taking my own life occasionally and I'd most likely get a ticket and go to America to blow my head up by a shotgun. Why go to Japan when America so close?

Why just kill yourself in japan?? Have some fun in america and rob places and fuck shit up

>>18664451
I have a sister who is the only reason I'm still fighting. She has kept me alive for 5 years while I've been in this state, and I still have not come to terms with how my suicide will affect her. I fear it will destroy her. I love her more than I could ever convey with words.

And don't apologize, if the world was full of good people like you I think things would have worked out. It breaks my fucking heart.

>>18664458
I've been on Lexapro for the last few years; it's stopped working. I don't have the money anymore either.

I have a big brother and I don't know what I would do without him since he protects me. My aunt killed herself and I can't even imagine the grief my mother went through.. My grandmother told me she has PTSD and anxiety. You're an amazing brother, although it's hard keep fighting and get some help. <3 <3 <3

>>18664467
Hi, anon. You don't know me and I don't know you. I don't know your life experiences, I don't know your reasons for this, but please, even if you have no other reasons, don't do this if you and your sister really are that close. My older brother committed suicide 2 years ago and he was the only one I felt truly close to in my entire family. Shit truly devastated me and the rest of my family, and it still continues to do so today. Please don't do this, man, even if it's only to spare your sister's feelings. I don't want you to kill yourself either. Again, I don't know you, but please just try to keep fighting, anon. There are many people out there who considered suicide but kept on living to eventually see a much better life, you could ask a lot of people on this board alone.
If you truly don't see any other way, then that's just how it is and I'm sorry that you suffer this fate. But I still want to sincerely ask you to keep on living, even if it's just for your sister's sake. I have no personal experience with suicidal thoughts but I do have experience with siblings committing suicide, and it's the worst thing that ever happened in my life.
Good luck anon, wherever you're going, and please keep fighting.

>>18664432
Any sort of job would give you the funds you're looking for, as well as would likely give you the resources to get help for your depression. I implore you to try to get more help before ending it, it's been four months since my father took his own life and everyday I feel more miserable than the last.

>>18664432
Make sure you go out with a bang. Try and make it on the news

>>18664432
It sounds like you need behavioral therapy. Also, if you go to japan to kill yourself, don't inconvenience others by doing something obnoxious like jumping in front of a train or jumping off a building. Just because you gave up on yourself doesn't mean you need to make things harder on others. You are your problem and only you can do something about it. You're also not serious about this because if you were, you wouldn't talk about it in a disguised cry for help. The pain would be too much for your coping system to manage and you would just do it where you are.

Honestly, you need to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

>>18664800
You are absolutely wrong about people that discuss wanting to kill themselves not being serious about it. I mean, really dude? That happens constantly.

>>18664800
>like jumping in front of a train or jumping off a buildin
Fun fact: both jumping in front of a train and killing yourself in someone else's home/a hotel can get your family sued.
At least for locals.

>The pain would be too much for your coping system to manage and you would just do it where you are.
T. Doesn't know shit about depression and suicide

>Honestly, you need to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
T. If I "have" to play this game then so do you!

It's actually pretty easy to find the resources you need on this. You can probably find a really cheap one way ticket there, and since you are killing yourself then does it really matter HOW you get the money? Prostitution, stealing it, credit card, you name it. When you get there it's in your hands. May I suggest the suicide forest?

>>18664800 >>18664943
I've battled depression for the last ten years of my life. It only became marginally better after seeking therapy and being shown that my actions are what dictated and perpetuated my situation and my twisted negative emotions. My issue was that I was never taught how to grieve and accept my trauma then learn from it. So I sat in my room and did nothing for a decade because that was the only way I could cope with what happened with me. Through all the sickness and anxiety I had no role model or father so in return my coping method manifested in me crooked and ignorant. I see this happen to so many people and want to shake them and yell at them saying "I was you! I couldn't handle the bad things that happened to me either! But look at me now. You can do it too". Behavioral therapy works and doesn't get nearly enough mention in my opinion. It was through facing my trauma and really accepting it and changing my ignorantly formed bad habits that I grew up, figuratively speaking.

As far as killing yourself goes, I did have suicidal thoughts. I would even go places with nothing but the clothes on my back and just sit there for hours with the notion that I would just slip off a cliff or a pedestrian bridge when no one noticed while I played on my phone or sketched in a sketchbook.

I think there is a disconnect in communication between people that are grounded mentally and emotionally and are considered mature vs those that are not. When you feel confident in your habits and abilities to solve difficult emotional and cognitive issues that effect you, telling someone to grow up means something much different from the others standpoint. The phrase is colloquial and meaning can be different on the way it's said and context. In the post I made it was constructive criticism meaning to mature and become capable and able of growth (as someone mature does).

>>18664445


I also have schizophrenia and I'm still here, you won't kill yourself. Stop fsntasizing about it, panic attack will prevent you from an hero :DDD
Also ask a local nigger to borrow money against a 200% interest, manipulate that nigger. Or go to the gov and Heil hitler