My gf behaved weirdly recently. I found out she lied about hanging

Well you're not doing yourself any favours by snooping

>>18658596
100% true

>>18658581
No it most def sounds sketchy. She may very well be taking some older dick. 2 people in a healthy relationship can talk their problems over and not lie to each other

Yup.

Your own relationship is on a, "Need to know" basis, and you don't need to know it seems.

It's always fun when that happens, huh. Not substantial enough to break it off, so you're essentially forced to wait until she DOES inevitably cheat on you, or you're the bad guy.

Relationships. Woo.

>>18658581
>I asked her point blank after I confronted her about the lying if she also talked to him about our relationship problems, she lied and said no. I gave her multiple opportunities to come clean about anything, she kept insisting there was nothing else.
Yeah, but you wouldn't have known about this if you hadn't gone through her messages. The reason you're mad and suspicious about this is your own doing. Hanging out with a friend is one thing, but she vented to a friend - who *doesn't* do that?

>>18658615
But why lie about that if everyone does it?

>>18658623
Because why do you need to know that she's done it?

>>18658627
He doesn't need to know, he needs her to be honest.

>>18658654
He wouldn't know she was lying if he hadn't snooped. He's caused his own misery in this situation.

>>18658663
I don't actually care that she vents to someone else, I care that she's honest with me. There could be a whole host of reasons for why she lied, none of which are good whether they be my fault or hers.

>>18658673
Like it or not, you've fucked up here. You snooped, she lied and you know it was a lie because you snooped. Because of this, you're just going to resent her for it, and that's going to cause a breakdown in your relationship. If you choose to confront her, you out yourself in having snooped. It doesn't matter who's 'in the right' anymore (and quite frankly, neither of you really are), what matters is the consequence, and the chances of this turning out alright for your relationship are slim.

>>18658680
I've pretty much accepted that at this point. Once I broke that boundary I accepted that I don't trust her at all and the relationship is doomed.

>>18658684
Then what does it matter whether there was something shady going on or not?

Ignore that faggot, you went with your gut and you were right

If she didn't want you to be insecure about it then lying to you is the total wrong way to avoid that

>>18658581
>So you thought lying to me would make me less insecure?
Just fucking confront her and dump her ass if she continues to make excuses

>>18658680
>>18658663

No. Her lying is what's causing the resentment in the relationship.

Are you a fucking woman? You think snooping is worse than lying? If you weren't lying he would have no reason to snoop.

That's a shitty justification. What if he found out she cheated? Still his fault for finding out by snooping, right?

Kys yourself

At this point, you pretty clearly don't trust her anymore. Even if she hasn't done anything, this doesn't sound like a good relationship anymore

>>18658581
Just tell her you know she's lying. You don't have to say how you know. She knows she is.

>>18658734
You are literally arguing with retards. Literally.

>>18658581
You are not wrong OP she is wrong. All you did is investigate to protect yourself and find the truth and your suspicions were correct.

You looked at the most logical place, her text.

What difference does it make if she admits everything or not? She lies to you because she wants to spend time with him and bitch about you to him and he knows and she knows this is will end with them fucking and nothing you can do will stop this. Even if you intervene the intent, lies and betrayal is underway, You have the evidence so get out of the relationship.

Use your knowledge of the truth to muster the courage to leave this woman that totally disrespects you (to another man that will be balls deep in her).

>>18658581
>she lied about hanging out with an old male friend this past week
Red flag
>never kept her from hanging out with male friends or have gotten jealous
Even more reason to be suspicious
>I went through her texts and saw her venting our relationship problems to this guy.
A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on, if she is doing that in texts, what is she doing in person?
>I asked her point blank after I confronted her about the lying if she also talked to him about our relationship problems, she lied and said no
Red flag
>I gave her multiple opportunities to come clean about anything, she kept insisting there was nothing else.
Red flag

If she can't talk to you but does to someone else that she isn't telling you about, it's over, she has found someone to have a personally intimate relationship with.

To address the snooping, you did nothing wrong as you went in suspicious rather than routinely combing through her phone trying to catch her out and make a mountain out of a molehill.
But at that point you should have probably ended it because she is up to no good.

There's no saving the relationship, she values the guy more than she values talking to you, if you do try and make things work you will only argue over her playing away and you looking through her phone.

>>18658581
You need to tell her that it's making you uncomfortable, especially since she lied about it.


It may be harmless now but she's telling him about your problems. And that's where these things usually start. If she can't agree to stop then you might have a bigger problem on your hands

Dude just bail, she's been lying up to this point, theres probably more shit she lied about. she probably sucked his dick and will never admit it. Dump her and dont even tell her why. Yeah it will hurt like a motherfucker for a while, but in a couple years you'll be glad you did.

>>18658581
>our relationship problems
what are these problems?
>she lied because she thought I would get jealous and be insecure.
Always a good defense: "I knew you would react like that so it is your fault we are in this situation". She knows she does something that's not right and keeps it from you. Probably you really are a jealous and clingy bitch but she shouldn't meet secretly with a guy with whom she secretly talks about your relationship. She might cheat with him one day especially if she feels unhappy with your relationship problems.
You are in a bad situation because you only know what happened because you looked in her phone. if you confront her she will all be blaming you for that and the confrontation will lead to nothing. Again what are your relationship problems? Seems like this shit is 90% over you just didn't break up yet

>>18658581
Confront her about it. Tell her you snooped and apologise for it, but then say you don't appreciate the lying and ask for an explanation.

Relationships work better if you are open with each other and sort things out between you, instead of going off to other people to "vent".

Either way, clarity and honesty, at the cost of an argument or even a breakup is better than the nightmare described in this post >>18658599

>>18658680
>>18658596
>>18658663

kill yourselves, you must be women. "its your fault for snooping" really? seriously, just fucking die of aids or something.

op your gf is a lying whore. just break up with her and hopefully you can just keep her around for some pussy. otherwise, its time to move on.

>>18658581
This is the reddest of red flags. Get out now or mark my words you will wish you did.

Speaking from experience I had a girl who messed me about like this. "Anon I have only been acting like this cos I thought you were gona leave me"

Then naive little me tries to comfort her, "no don't worry I'm not gone leave you".How fucking stupid do I feel when she dumps me and is fucking the new guy within 1 week. Girls lie, OP, learn to recognise it in its most blatant form. Don't let love blind you from common sense

>>18660878
And for the record, I was never the jealous type. She ripped all my female friends away from me even though I never had a sexual thought about them

I was fine with her hanging out with guys because I wanted to hang out wth my female friends myself. The difference was I wasn't looking to fuck my friends like she was

>>18660888

this is another red flag. if she's destroying your female friendships she intends to keep you under her thumb. it's a way for her to control the relationship. like the other posters have said, get out now. there's enough evidence here to justify throwing her ass out on the street right now.

>hides hanging out with particular male
>vents with secret male

She's going to cheat. Happened to both me and my friend. Not certain, but brace for it nigga

she's venting to a "beta orbiter" about her problems i recommend you dick her down tonight