Why does small talk drain the fuck out of me? Is this what autism

because you use up HUGE loads of energy to keep up the picture of yourself you think others want instead of relaxing and letting things go the way they go naturally. that's not autism, that's depending on they approval of others in unhealthy ways.

>>18658531
But I hate being awkward. I guess I just lose no matter what I do

>>18658531
this is very well said.

the question is, how do I stop doing it? If I could stop caring what people think, I would. But I just can't.

Not OP by the way

>>18658555
you think there are people who enjoy being awkward?

>>18658589
it's something you have to train. it won't happen just because you "realized something" over night.
the only way to get over the need of approval from thers is to expose yourself to the possibility of dissaproval and gradually learn to cope with the outcome.
you'll build up resilience with everytime you dared "put yourself out there" even in the face of possible dissaproval. you will learn that it happens FAR less often that people actually dissaprove if you're being authentic than you thought they would. and you'll learn that it's not the end of the world if they actually do once in a blue moon.
you'll learn to deal with not everyone thinking you're perfect and share all their views. that's not going to just come to you, you'll have to actively seek out opportunities to learn that.
it's as simple as starting to not bend the truth anymore if it's unnecessary. you can start very, very small. like not saying "idk" if someone asks you what you want to do but actually say what you want to do. or not hiding behind phrases like "that's life" but actually share your personal views.

>>18658610
Good info, thanks. I get stuck in the mental trap of "trying to realize something" a lot.

I sit around and over analyze stuff and think I'm going to have some sort of epiphany, and only then can I go out there and live a happy life. Too much introspection and not enough action is my problem I think. And I believe that applies to a lot of people.

>>18658737
exactly. something just need to be backed up by real life experience. you can't sort yourself out completely in an isolated room. unfortunately...