It's 8PM on a Thursday in Chicago and I'm a 26 year

>>18655153
How about stop playing with fucking Legos and do more productive shit? Take a shower. Get on some nice cloths go to some bars or dance clubs. Start talking to girls. Talk about anything and makes jokes.

>>18655161
No, I refuse to do all that. Tell me how to lick a butt without nebulously bathing and wearing a sporty jean-jacket and aimlessly walking around town until women sexually assault me. I've tried all that and still here I am with the legos. Your shower'n'clothes plan of action is bunk.

>>18655177
You're an inept retard. Go find a hobo and lick his ass.

>>18655183
There are few female hobos attractive enough to meet my extremely high autistic lego lovin' standards.

Are you flirting with me right now?

>>18655177
You're not going to get bitches by playing with Lego's you fucking retard. Its also not just walking around town waiting or women to approach you. There is a whole entire art to attracting a female. The best way to meet them is by mutual friends. I'd say start by asking people out for drinks at your work or something.

If you dont feel like putting in the effort just hire a prostitute. Backpage has a bunch just beware of cops and catfishing. Its usually pretty obvious though.

Good luck OP.

>>18655201
Please leave my thread unless you have an efficient step-by-step plan that takes me from Lego to ass-eating.

>>18655153
This is obviously bullshit. Legos are expensive as shit.

>>18655205
Holy shit no wonder you can't attract a woman Jesus fuck you are retarded. Let me simplify it then:

STEP ONE:
Type backpage.com into your address bar and hit "enter" on your keyboard

STEP TWO:
Click on your country, then find your state/town and click on that

STEP THREE:
Scroll down and click on "escorts" underneath the "adult" category.

STEP FOUR:
Confirm that you are at least 18 years of age in the disclaimer. If you are not please wait until you are 18 and start again and step one.

STEP FIVE:
Browse until you find an ad that looks promising, look for one that was posted more recently, doesn't look like an Indian man wrote it, and doesn't look suspicious.

STEP SIX:
Find the phone number for your escort, it should be somewhere on their ad.

STEP SEVEN:
Call or text your escort, and set up a time and place to meet.

STEP EIGHT:
Shower so the poor girl isn't choking back vomit, get your cash, and proceed to meet your escort.

STEP NINE:
Proceed to lick butthole.

>>18655226
STEP ZERO: Read my OP.

If you post your nonsense again I'm going to be extremely upset with you.

>>18655232
If you have no money and refuse to put any effort into anything then unfortunately you will not be licking butthole. The only chances you have of that is if you rape a girl but if you do that prepare to have big black cock up your ass for the next five years in prison.

protip: save up your Lego money and buy an escort you fucking sperg.

Step 1. Get out of the basement and go upstairs
Step 2. Ask your mom if you can lick her butthole. If she says yes, skip to step 4. If she says no, go to next step
Step 3. Hit her on the head with something heavy
Step 4. Lick her butthole.

>>18655237
I'll have you know I live in my own apartment.

Living in my own apartment is, incidentally, one of the reasons I don't trust that tsundere femanon who was flirting with me several posts ago. I said, I want to touch a girl's boobs, and someone told me, "Make something of yourself! Get your own place! Then girls will let you touch their boobs."

Well, here I am, in my own place, and I'm sitting on the carpet playing with Legos. I'm not taking any more nonsensical advice.

Lego costs a fuckton so either you are full of shit or your idea of wealth is fucked up.
Also lego rocks and bitches love it

>>18655153
I gather you want a demeaning submissive dirty experience rather than a loving relationship. You live in a big city. Check the local alternative newspaper for sex clubs and S&M groups.

I just googled BDSM clubc chicago and found 100000 results.