Where does /adv/ set its relationship boundaries. What is the

Boundaries are dumb. Everyone has different boundaries. Theres no such thing as healthy or unhealthy boundaries. The only people that have an issue with that statement are people that a generally unteusting of humans, and react to that fear by deciding for others what is considered acceptable.

>>18652415
Quantifying and naming things in this way creates a fractured multiplicity in the minds of people who would otherwise be capable of seeing the world as one giant interdependence.

Study the Tao. There are no boundaries.

>>18652415
It depends on the individual and that's usually dictated by past experiences and personal preferences.

Some guys want a girl that will cook/clean and be willing to do provide enough sex and emotional comfort or to solve their insecurity problems.

I would avoid reading shit that tries to "redpill" you. It's full of kids and failed men who try to convince themselves that women are inherently whores and incapable of loyalty without some mind games or borderline abusive habits.

It's moronic to sit there and think of every instance which you'd break up with your partner.

Rephrase:

What are YOUR Boundaries when it comes to your SO.

>>18652415
>>18652924
You can talk about what your boundaries are all you want, but the reality is that it's a lot different when you're in a position where the person you've loved has done something you thought was unforgivable.

>>18652932
And that's the point. There are a lot of things that guys on this board or leddit think are unforgivable sins (like not being a virgin) that plenty of other guys wouldn't care about.

If you personally think whatever thing is horrible then that's your choice. You can post up the situation and you might get split reactions saying you're being 'cucked' and the other half saying it's no big deal.

>>18652946
That's not what I meant at all. What I'm saying is that talk is cheap and when you're actually facing a situation it's a whole lot different to dealing with it as a hypothetical. There's a reason why you get so many people saying "they cheated on me but I love them and don't want to leave them." They KNOW that being cheated on is unacceptable, but it's not always black and white.

>>18652946
Are there not universal boundaries which must be wrong.

There must be -- so that people blinded by emotions know when it is time to just leave... right?

>>18652952

If you're asking people to try and understand what a limit would be in the *exact* circumstances of what you're describing that's pretty much impossible because generally speaking things like preferences, tolerance levels, expectations, and just generally knowing how to handle situations is something that comes from experiences and time and is unique to each person.

Many of the women that I read about on this board don't seem that irrational and many of the people posting about their problems are young and in either the first major relationship or generally confused as to how women think.

>>18652961
>Are there not universal boundaries which must be wrong.

No. What you're referring to are generally accepted values in society which get broken all the time even by the people who believe in them but they still go on.

>There must be -- so that people blinded by emotions know when it is time to just leave... right?

Pretty much...most people hit a limit at some point and don't develop stockholme syndrome. I was in a toxic relationship before and stuck it out. I left it because it was going nowhere but I at least learned a lot from it. You might be slowly approaching the point where you will hit your limit but there is no hard yes/no switch for most people. That is an internet meme that people tell to make themselves sound 'alpha'.

Cheating is really the only thing that would piss me off enough to leave. I could probably forgive just about anything else.
Ironically enough I cheated on her, but she was being a massive cunt to me and she begged me to stay after it happened so I did. Everything's better now but I still couldn't deal with being cheated on, kudos to her if she can though.

>>18652702
>I would avoid reading shit that tries to "redpill" you. It's full of kids and failed men who try to convince themselves that women are inherently whores and incapable of loyalty without some mind games or borderline abusive habits.

Dont listen to this fag.
Women like being treated like a piece of property. Why do you think even feminists go for douche bags? Its in their genes. If you act like a sissy faggot around your women be prepared for her not to respect you.

>>18653052
Does that include emotional cheating? or just physical cheating that would break it for you?

In short, anything disrespectful of the relationship is going to raise an eyebrow. Where that eyebrow goes from there depends on a lot of factors ranging from their attitude and response, to how long you've been dating, and the history of your relationship.

Any form of cheating will usually put your right on top of that fence. I don't really consider emotional cheating to be anything lesser than physical cheating. If you've already resorted to confiding in somebody else for your needs, then I could care less what you've physically done together. That has no bearing on the relationship.

Nothing is really ever so black and white, though.

My main boundary is lying (I say main as I am sure there are other boundaries, but this one is big for me). I am one of those people that strive to maintain a sense of acceptance even if I am not capable of understanding. I know that people are different and do not see things the way I do, I know that not everyone I come across will agree with the way I do things. I would rather the filthy, dirty truth over a lie any day. Hell, many of the truths that I have gotten have opened me up to a new way of seeing things. My main reason for pressing for truth is to move around the drama behind the idea of cheating. To me, it's not cheating if I am made aware of the situation. Yeah, it's odd. With so many people in the world, I do not buy into the idea that there is THE ONE person that you are meant to be with. As we go through life, various things will catch our interests. But then, this is a concept that I am okay with because my libido is extremely low. I do not think that my SO should be made to sit and wait until I hit a random spike and decide to screw. If they find someone that appeals to them, they should go for it. Just don't lie about it. Trust, I am NOT offended.

>>18652415
If she don't swallow I don't follow

Thot destroyed

>>18653759
fuck... thats good

Eh, there are a lot of things that cross the line for me, and for people in general.

I'd say one of the most "pety" I guess would be smoking. If they start smoking while we're dating I'm out. It's only because I have pretty severe asthma and smoke can set me off from a mile away. I'd have to dump them for my own health, just not realistic we can be together if we gotta live in separate houses and he's gotta dryclean all his clothes before visiting.

I've been talking to a relationship therapist because I basically sabotaged my last relationship with a girl I actually loved.

Basically, you should have a list of traits you need in a gf (non-negotiables), along with deal-breakers. Your 'boundaries' tend to key into that list. There's other stuff too, like red button issues, triggers, etc. But basically, if they're treating you like they're a shitty person, then they're not gf material anymore. (now, maybe that's something you don't care about, but that would be different)

You won't know your boundaries until you experience them. Everyone is different. There is not a general boundary that will cover everyone.

>>18653863
>But basically, if they're treating you like they're a shitty person, then they're not gf material anymore. (now, maybe that's something you don't care about, but that would be different)

To add onto this you should avoid falling into the trap of victimizing her and thereby justifying her actions by telling her you *deserved* to be treated like shit. If you do that it's a slippery slope of problems.

If you did something to provoke a response that's one thing that's something but still should not justify something as bad as cheating. But if she just out of nowhere decided to do something in the back of your mind you thought is unforgivable then it's time to really take a step back instead of trying to figure out if you're willing to accept shit you would ordinarily think is disgusting.

>>18653934
I'm guessing you're a guy and the person in question is a girl.

That's pretty normal desu. My gf did the same thing for the longest time. I asked her about it and she said it's just easier for her to text since sometimes she's busy and also because she was nervous about how to act on the phone. It's not something that will change until that person gets to be really comfortable with you though.

Til then you gotta make sure your text game is good. If they say they're busy it could be bs or legit but I wouldn't stress over it.

That being said, trying to meet with someone you have not talked to for 3 weeks sounds like it's never going to work.

>>18652415
Nice furthering of the right-wing / Oprah / Fox news agenda. The healthy and rigid boundaries belong to a female and the non-existent and loose belong to a man.

Stop brainwashing us. We are on to you.

There are no universal boundaries. A man in Saudi Arabia divorced his wife for walking ahead of him. A guy I know had me double tag his wife with him.

Boundaries are what you want them to be.