>20 years old >Have always felt terribly different from

You're not alone in how you feel. I have the same experience except I don't talk to any of my siblings or father anymore.

>>18651808
being able to talk to everyone involves being false to an extent, even if it's just pretending that you're in a good mood and what's initially being discussed is interesting.

well you know, generally speaking. you could be some rich eccentric billionaire who only hires professors to discuss topics of extreme interest to him, but...

I guess if you don't want to be false, which is a noble cause imo, you could try to be more creative. this boo hooing is not gonna help.

>>18651808

> Life is hard
> Bad communication leads to bad results

Suck it up and learn to speak your thoughts and emotions.

People cannot read minds, you know?

>>18651835
Lying to be cohesive is pointless to me.
I don't know why I should bother to speak in the first place if I have to be dishonest.

>>18651808
Sounds like you're suffering from some sort of special snowflake "im really complex and nobody gets me" mentality. And you crave belonging and meaningful connections with people, so you're not different from others at all. Most likely just bad at small talk/socializing

>>18651844
The issue is I've been trying for the entirety of my life-time.

>>18651856
At the same time, it always blows-up in my face when I try and obtain a meaningful connection with another person as they think radically different from me.

The desires and actions that other people take are things that I would consider horrible.

I don't know what it is to crave belonging as I fear there was never I place I could be that wasn't lodged firmly in my own heart.

I may just be an inexperienced person listening to people that've roamed the earth for decades, but I remember feeling the same way back in high school.