how do i reconcile wanting to be with my partner while also wanting

How would you feel if your partner wanted to do the same?

>>18649913
Life isnt a disney movie. You have weird instincts. Ill tl;dr the science.

Humans are both serial monogamous and totally not at the same time. Its because evolutions a jerk. Staying with a partner exclusively and raising your kids and keeping other suitors away had evolutionary advantages. So did fucking everything. Ya got both instincts in your head.

Accept it, dont feel guilty, be good to your partner, and the desire to fuck others comes and goes. It will pass. Try not to feed it with too much porn or too much contact with women youre attracted to.

Reality is a bitch aint she.

>>18649913
You tell them you want a open relationship.

Now if you're not cool with them fucking other people then you're a hypocrite and deserve nothing.

Keep your dick in your pants and stop being a huge faggot. That's it.

File: cheating bait2.png (78KB, 540x281px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 540x281px

>>18649913
Some people arent build for monogamy at all.

>>18649929

Terrible. I've had it done to me during my first relationship. I think it may have caused some mental trauma because I have severe trust issues, insecurities etc.

I'm not devoid of empathy, I know it would hurt their feelings. A lot.

>>18649930

Thank you for elaborating anon, I do have both of those drives, and they are very strong. I want to pair bond but I also want to fuck everything.

If this is my instinct, am I a fucked up person for doing it? I say yes...yet I still want to do it.

I'm just not sure how to feel about this.

>>18649937

Of course I am not. I am possessive of my partner. Humans are complicated.

However, I have seriously discussed an open relationship, even with the option of them being able to sleep with other people. They refused citing jealous towards me. It is understandable. I would feel the same way.

>>18649997

I will always put my partner ahead of random people. I treat my partner very well and cater to their every need.

I recognize this still doesn't necessarily absolve me of my sins.

Look within your heart op and you'll find the answer

You gotta stay
Or break up with her OP

or you can cheat. That's between you and your conscience.

>>18650028
You arent fucked up for wanting it. But doing is fucked up. Like i said, one of those life bullshit things because this isnt a disney movie.

I promise if you act on it it will solve nothing. You will feel no better or no different, if anything youll feel guilty, and the feeling will just return in normal time. Not to mention if you get caught it will be the most humiliating painful experiences of your entire life, youll lose your woman, and shell have trust issues the rest of her goddamn life.

The feeling will come and go. Deal with it when it comes, rejoice when it goes.

Being in a good, happy relationship is better than being single alone and off center (thats a subjective matter of opinion but if youre mulling like this i think you feel the same.)

Avoid porn and avoid too much contact with attractive friends, and put effort into your relationship, and the feeling will be weaker and less frequent. If you want a good happy relationship, gotta make a sacrifice or two, and not feed the beast.

>>18650332
Side note:
Pretty sure theres some instincts in there to ritualistically smear yourself in shit and parade around with your arms held high(probably not just a humourous example.) or instincts to straight up murder people you dont like. You dont act on them because theyre obviously silly and wrong and we kind of came as far as we did as a race by not just acting like animals.

Same deal dude. Silly instinct, dont get too worked up over it. Panicking will make it worse and acting on it solves nothing

>>18649913

Considering you're already feeling guilty at these thoughts you're having, I have some advice, based on first hand experience for you.

I was in your situation a few weeks back.
Whatever the fuck you do. Do NOT cheat on your girlfriend. I recently snogged another girl outside of my relationship and the guilt and sadness is almost completely consuming me up to the point of major anxiety attacks.
I have confessed everything to her, but the guilt remains after seeing her break down in front of me.

>>18649913
you sound like a good dude, OP. have you been together long? sometimes after awhile you can start having feelings like this, but at least for me, really throwing myself into my relationship and trying to give extra affection to my partner really takes these feelings away.

>>18650750
>>18650684

I already have anon.

I've cheated tons of times

I feel guilt but I still want it

It's like a drug I'm addicted to that I know will destroy me and hurt everyone around me

>>18651784
It only hurts those around you if you let it. Break up with your girlfriend, and indulge in your stupid addiction without a care in the world.

>>18651790

I don't enjoy being single

Selfish I know

I reserved to admitting it because I know /adv/ hates this.

Most anons are idealistic and tend to see in black and white

Stop being a dumbass and straighten yourself up. Cheating is disgusting and you should be ashamed, you dirtbag. Please come clean to your woman so she can have a better life without a mongoloid like you.

>>18651784
I'm in the same boat. I cheated on my GF twice in our 1 year relationship, she never knew.

Last week I realized I just want going to be able to achieve long term happiness with her, so I broke up with her. I wish her the best of luck, and now I will venture out as a single man, loneliness and all.

>>18651784
Honest advice here, not trying to rag on you. Leave her and find someone who will be comfortable in an open relationship with you.

You will always have these urges, and the fact that you're already acting on them shows that you're not ready to be in a monogamous relationship. You need to be with someone who's on the same page as you. It's not hard to find other girls in the world, it's actually pretty easy to find a new girlfriend.

It just sounds like you're afraid to be alone, but you shouldn't be holding your girlfriend back from a possible happy relationship with someone who actually loves her enough to stay loyal.

You're lying to her and yourself. Break up and find someone who will be open to you fucking other people, you will be a hell of a lot happier. I know I'm much happier being able to openly fuck whoever I want without worrying about hurting anyone, and it's such a huge weight off my chest. You will find someone else who gives you this freedom, there are millions of women in the world

>>18649913
Woman detected
You can't help your gender

breakup with him, he doesn't deserve this

>>18652193
>It just sounds like you're afraid to be alone, but you shouldn't be holding your girlfriend back from a possible happy relationship with someone who actually loves her enough to stay loyal.

I am very afraid to be alone, terribly so.

But I also GENUINELY treat my partner very well. I am emotional supportive, very giving at sex, great with presents and anniversaries, etc. I sincerely love my partner and value you them as a friend. I want them to be in my life and that's the difficulty. I don't want to lose such a great friend and a lover.

You can get random hookups anywhere but someone that cares about you is rare.

Yes I care about them just as much. But I am not faithful and that's wrong.